No one asked but here are some stories I have from working in retail:
- I worked at Starbucks, and this old man came in to order something for his granddaughter, but apparently she only told him what it was once and he had never set foot in a Starbucks in his life. So he gets up to the counter and proceeds to order a “grande caramel filipino.” When we finally figured out he wasn’t being racist we realized he was trying to order a frappucino and I still can’t think about it without laughing
- I managed a candy store for a while, and the store opened at 10 AM. In addition to candy we also sold lots of life-size cardboard cutouts, which we displayed all over the store. One day I arrive at 9:30 to open up, and there’s a family with young kids hangin’ out at the bench across the way. I go about my business unlocking the door, then as soon as I open it, I hear the mom yell “ITS OPEN, BOYS” and three screaming kids run right past my legs and into the store, which is almost pitch black and very cold. While I’m wondering how to handle this (and what parents think it’s acceptable to let their children run into an unopened store) I hear three small, bloodcurdling screams, followed by the boys running out of the store in terror. Apparently, they ran right into our cardboard cutout of jabba the hut and it fell on top of them.
- We had to kick out a 90 year old woman when I worked at a movie theater because she refused to let us check inside her bag, even though we explained the new policy, that we check everyone’s bag and that we were only doing it for her safety and the safety of others. This saggy crypt keeper in her pastel church suit starts shouting insults at every employee she sees, screaming about how “I HAVE BEEN COMING HERE FOR FORTY YEEEEARS” and “How DARE you suggest i’m some sort of CRIMINAL!” “I AM A GOD FEARING WOMAN!” She goes on like this for twenty minutes, so long that one of the managers literally ASSIGNS someone to sit at the ticket booth and listen to her yell. Finally, when she’s all screamed out, her husband (who hasn’t spoken a word this ENTIRE time) gently takes her by the elbow and leads her away, before turning to smile and mouthing a “thank you” in our direction. It was cryptic and two years ago and i still think about it all the time