hang ten!

Surfing, Scooby-Style

Shaggy: “Hey, Scoob, look!”

Shaggy: “I’m hangin’ ten!”

Scooby gestures to Shaggy with one paw raised.

Immediately cut down, Scooby has all four paws on the board, and apparently grew that 5th paw via magic.

Then, Shaggy says…

Shaggy: “Whoa, Scoob! You’re hangin’ twenty!”

…even though, as Scooby has four toes per paw, he’s really hanging 16 for those playing along at home.

#saturdaymorningsemantics

I recently made a post, politely asking people not to interact with it if they were under the age of 18, only to get a reblog with a comment from somebody announcing “def interacting.” The only conclusion I can draw from this is that this person is underage and feels grown up and cool by blatantly defying my wishes as content creator.

Here’s the thing. They could still have looked at it – I have no way of knowing; I’m not their parent, and I’m not monitoring their computer. But this freedom wasn’t enough: they also felt the need to announce their presence to me, thereby making me feel very uncomfortable.

Minors – not all, but some – create, access, and share adult content on the internet all the time. I know because I was one. Personally, I believe making and discussing NSFW content with friends around your age who you feel comfortable with and trust is one of the best ways of learning about your own sexuality. However, you cannot force your way into spaces by adults, for adults, just because you are comfortable discussing sex with friends your own age.

Imagine a group of adults is sitting around the dining room table having drinks and talking. A young teenager comes downstairs and sits down at the table. All of the adults grow quiet and uncomfortable, unable to talk freely because of the unwanted presence of this teen. They politely ask them to please go back upstairs, since they got together in order to hang out with their friends, not be responsible for someone’s kid sibling.

“It’s okay,” the kid says, “I’m mature, I can handle it.”

But that isn’t the fucking problem. It’s not about you being able to handle/not handle it – in fact, it’s not about you at all. Adults who are telling you not to interact with them or their stuff are not unanimously trying to make a judgment on your maturity. They are not telling you that you’re a baby who won’t understand about sex until you have a magical epiphany the second you turn eighteen. They just want to be left alone in their own space. You are intruding on a situation not intended for you, and making everyone else involved uncomfortable.

The internet makes it possible to dissolve boundaries and access material that would have been unthinkable thirty years ago. This is a great freedom, and a great responsibility. Please handle that freedom with the maturity you claim you have, and respect other people telling you when you aren’t welcome.

The Customer

Summary: You have a one night stand with Sam and his monster cock. 4,000 words of pure porn.

Word Count: 3,900ish

Warning: So much smut, Sam’s monster cock, a little bit of dom!Sam if you squint

A/N: Yeah. This is porn. Enjoy. XOXO


Yeah, yeah. You’re breaking all your rules tonight.

But can anyone blame you?

Look at him.

And sure, you have a very important rule about customers being a no-fly zone, and you tend to find one night stands more awkward that satisfying. But seriously.

Look. At. Him.

Even your coworkers have noticed, despite the fact that you haven’t mentioned him to anyone. They’re standing in the doorway of the kitchen, whispering as they ogle, waggling their eyebrows at you as you get him a glass of water.

You shake your head at them, not bothering to say anything because you know they won’t behave even if you do, and head back out to the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen in real life.

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Homestuck Beach Headcanons

John: hot sand hot sand hot sand *makes it to the water* cold water cold water cold water (this goes on for like an hour before he settles finally). Brought one of those fake shark fins and straps it to the top of his head. He fools no one. Brought approximately 53 kites and loses All of them because Dave said “hey I bet your kites can’t hold up against your windy thing”. He was right. Tells Karkat that the ocean speaks to ppl through conch shells, he holds one up to his ear, nods, “sorry Karkat, the ocean says you’re an idiot”. Karkat is horrified and John is dying trying to keep a straight face.

Dave: has a SBAHJ swimsuit and a SBAHJ surfboard. Challenges Jade to a surf-off. “Are you sure, Dave? I’ve had a lot of practice and it’s not as easy as it looks! I’ve got it, Dave reassures her. How difficult can it be. She warned u, bro. She warned u about the surf. He does not get back in the water. Fills a bucket with crabs of various shapes and sizes throughout the day, at the end he calls Karkat over to where he’s standing by the waters edge. Hey. Hey Karkat. Look what I found. He pours the crabs out at Karkat’s feet. Karkat looks unsettled. Dave. Where did you even find all these crabs Dave. They’re your children Karkat. I did this for you.

Jade: spends the whole day in the water and also she is a surf goddess did I mention that? Doesn’t put any sunscreen in and everyone is concerned but she barely even tans. After getting out of the water she does the Wet Doggo Shake™ Jade can u pls just warn us before u do that pls you’re getting us all soaking wet. Smells suspiciously like wet dog but everyone is too polite to point it out. Helps Dave collect his crabs bc she has an uncanny knack for finding them (she’s sniffing them out with her doggy nose but doesn’t tell Dave bc she wants to show off).

Rose: builds sand castles with Kanaya bc Kanaya is deadass terrified of the ocean. They surpass sandcastle tbh it’s more like a sand palace. Rose found a bunch of nice purpley shells to decorate with and also some rocks that look suspiciously arcane and vaguely powerful. High tide somehow wipes out the group’s chairs but doesn’t touch the sandcastle. Hm. Chastises Dave for building dicks out of the sand. Is there something you’d like to tell us, Dave? *Dave sweating* what’s a penis I don’t even know anyone named Karkat. Rose smiles innocently. Of course not. Throughout the day, Rose brings water for Kanaya to drink and also to dump on her so she can regulate her body temperature. Since she’s a cold-blood her body temp is lower so she overheats v easily.

Kanaya: is deadass terrified of the ocean. Does the detail work on the castle she and Rose are making, carves out little stairs and turrets and makes flags out of spare ribbon she keeps in her bag. It’s beautiful. She cries at the end of the day when they have to leave it even though they’ve taken lots of pictures. . Karkat comes up to her with a conch shell and holds it out to Kanaya, “john told me the ocean said I was an idiot Kanaya what is it saying I can’t hear anything” She takes the conch shell and listens. Mmhm. Yes. Oh My. “What did it say???” It Was Really Quite Rude, I Shouldn’t Repeat It. Karkat is about to cry. Kanaya and Rose secretly fist bump.

Karkat: oh boy this has really been A Day for him. He’s nervous around the ocean already but apparently it thinks he’s an idiot??? He loves the crabs they remind him of his lusus, it was slightly horrifying that Dave put a bunch of them in a bucket for obvious reasons. Wants to be buried in the sand, Jake helps him dig a big hole and he and Dave and Dirk all work together to make it big enough and fill it in afterwards. Dave writes “im gay” underneath Karkat’s head poking out and Karkat yells at him for taking pictures. Sollux falls asleep on his towel and Karkat writes “beefucker” on his forehead.

Terezi: before they got there everyone told Terezi not to lick the sand. Guess what she did. Also, accidentally popped the beach ball with her teeth because she was licking it. There’s a theme here can u find it. Is in the water a lot because Vriska is desperately trying to regulate her body temperature and has v little energy to say mean things which everyone is grateful for. To make her feel better, Terezi engages in wildly uncreative insults that Vriska can easily latch onto without having to put much energy in. “Hey Terezi is the water cold?” I don’t know john, is your FACE cold? “Terezi that doesn’t even make any sense”, your face doesn’t make any sense! She cackles as if this is some High Brow Humor every single time.

Jake: has an irrational fear of seagulls, they keep coming for his food and that makes him nervous because the monsters on his island were one thing but this? This sly and wily creature? Dirk is like,,,buddy,,,it’s just a seagull? It’s just a bird? “They’re eating my fries, Dirk, I won’t stand for it!” Jake has a little ukulele that he knows like five songs on, he sits outside by the boardwalk and just strums it sometimes after dark. One night, two little kids come by and give him 6 dollars in crumpled singles for his playing and he started crying he was so touched.

Jane: is having the TIME of her life, and is also the Mom friend. She’s simultaneously kicking ass at beach volleyball and reminding everyone to put on their sunscreen and reapply every two hours please! She’s also having a good time experimenting with cooking seafood some nights, though once she made the mistake of bringing in crab and Karkat did Not take it well. It took an hour to calm him down. Jane felt awful and made it up to him by buying him a nice hoodie w a happy crab on it. Bought a cute little blue boogie board and hangs out with Jade and Roxy in the water, she’s not very good at it but she likes swimming around a little.

Dirk: he’s that one friend that goes way too hard in casual games tbh. Like, they’re just playing a friendly game of volleyball Dirk can you please stop spiking it every five seconds. The grind never stops, Roxy, don’t hate the player hate the grind. Jane looked at him w so much disappointment in her eyes after he said it that he felt the force of her stare physically and had to take a step back. Tries to show Jake that seagulls aren’t scary by feeding them, but they start attacking him for his fries which does not help prove his point at all.

Roxy: “the babe” Lalonde has been ready for a beach trip her entire life. She is checking out the lifeguards, she’s checking out the other gals and dudes strolling about the beach, she’s got her best friends with her, what more could she want??? She buys a cutesy pink surfboard and Dave makes fun of her for it and she smiles sweetly. Oh sorry Dave? I forgot you were so good at surfing?? No one knows how or when Roxy learned to hang ten but THERE SHE GOES. She finds a lot of pretty shells and rocks and sand dollars and is just enthusiastic about everything tbh. She brightens everyone’s mood always.

Calliope: cherubs can’t float so Roxy’s overprotective ass won’t let her near the water unless someone is with her and making sure she’s safe. This is Fine with calliope bc that means that she’s never alone and therefore she’s never lonely and really that’s all she’s ever wanted so!! She’s v content to watch Jade and Roxy surf, she will sit w Jane sometimes when she isn’t in the water. She also likes digging for sand crabs with Karkat bc she likes their little legs. She wants to dig deep enough to find a lobster and no one has the heart to tell her that’s not how it works.

Sollux: this idiot. This boy. My sweet sweet son. Makes the horrible mistake of falling asleep on his towel. He was underneath the big umbrella when he started, but as the sun moves and he’s not putting on more sunscreen?? John, Dave, and Karkat take it upon themselves to not only write “beefucker” on his forehead, but also draw dicks on his whole body in sunscreen so he burns (trolls turn a darker shade of their blood color) and ends up with these pale gray dicks surrounded by a horrible dark, mustardy burn.

4

# WHAT SUPERGIRL SAID: this year, we want kara to learn how to be kara, just like last year she learned how to be supergirl. she will face the struggle of figuring out if she can have a life. that’s why we broke her relationship with james, so that she can explore that part of herself and focus on being a reporter. # WHAT SUPERGIRL MEANT: we broke up james and kara without any good reason if not to have kara hang in there for ten episodes without a proper long-term storyline only so that when a bit of time has passed she can start dating mon-el and maybe drop her entire life in the process. (requested)

10

David Tennant dressed as Doctors other than the Tenth Doctor

Sources include:
James Bonk’s brilliant Twelfth Doctor cosplay at Wizard World NYC (2016)
+ The Tenth Doctor dressed as the Third Doctor from The Doctor Who comic Agent Provocateur (by Gary Russell, art by Nick Roche)
+ According to The Christmas Invasion commentary, the scarf David wears in the wardrobe room was knitted by producer Phil Collinson’s Great Auntie Cathy. DWM says she knitted the Doctor Who scarf when Phil was six. Phil expected it to be hung up at the side but instead David wore it.
+ Peter Davison’s autobiography (Is There Life Outside the Box?) and the “Come In Number Five” Fifth Doctor documentary that David narrated.

The Mirage Heist  // Thief!Shawn AU // Part 1

Summary: Shawn is a criminal mastermind and you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time….or was it the right place at the right time?

“This just in, breaking news involving a major bank robbery in downtown today. Officials report over five hundred thousand dollars was stolen from the Mid City Bank only moments ago. Reports indicate that the culprits are on the loose and police are looking for any information on who these criminals are. They were seen pulling up to the bank in a black sedan and entering the building through the front entrance.” The news feed switches from Kelly Knight- the news reporter on duty- to a video from a phone camera within the bank.

“We just got this exclusive footage in the studio. It appears there were four or more men involved. Again, police are asking for any information you might have.” The camera zooms in on a guy with no mask on, only sunglasses and his hood.

The new feed switches to an aerial view of the bank from the News 1 helicopter. A male voice comes over the feed. “It appears the men who entered the bank have just vanished with the money. Authorities seem to be having trouble finding out just how the four men got away. It looks like the state authorities have arrived to assess the situation. More as this story unfolds, back to you Kelly.”

“In light of this situation, reports that no one was injured during the robbery have come in. Officials say the security alarm was hit sometime after the culprits were already inside the bank. No reports as to why it was not hit sooner. We will be back as updates come in. This is Kelly Knight for News 1.”

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