handy man soos

Stanley “The things I do for love” Pines

…Has punched a pterodactyl in the face to save his beloved granddaughter’s great niece’s pet pig.

…Has battled a horde of the undead to save his grandchildren great niece and nephew, plus Waddles the pet pig.

…Has been a father figure to his handy man, Soos Ramirez, for the past ten years, and got banned from airplanes after trying to get his birthday removed from calendars.

…Drove his ex-wife’s sweetheart’s new boyfriend van into a ravine after she dumped him for aforementioned hippie boyfriend.

…Possibly got imprisoned in Colombia for his wife and son family when money was low at the house and spent five+ years in there for performing some kind of crazy heist.

…Spent thirty years rebuilding a portal to save his long-lost, estranged twin brother, and most likely faked his death, along with severing all ties with his child(ren) and other meaningful connections his ex-wife, to make sure no one went after Stanley Pines and so that he could rebuild the portal without anyone catching on to what he was doing.

…Literally risked destroying the universe to bring back said long lost, estranged twin brother, and might have possibly brought upon the Apocalypse, again to bring back said long, lost estranged twin brother.

Stan Pines has committed heinous crimes in the name of love, and has done terrible things for the people he loves. Stan Pines is going to break our hearts, and already has.