Once you felt the last of your tears disappear, you attempt to regroup yourself.
It was very tempting to stay on the ground to bawl your eyes out because it was much easier to do nothing than to confront a problem.
All you wanted to do at the moment was lock yourself in the apartment and never go out, but you new that you had some relationships and friendships to stitch up before you could relax.
Its been itching you from the minute you saw Shawn in person again. You could either fight for you and Shawn to be together again, or you could choose to go apologize for kicking Cameron out and makeup with him instead. Neither would be easy, especially speaking how both boys were very close to you. It’d now be a matter of who you decide to stay with. That is, if both of them don’t already hate you.
You push away thoughts of your actions of the future, and focus specifically on what happened just now and the weeks leading up to it. You just confessed your feelings for Cameron, but was it wrong that your heart beat faster and felt more alive than ever when Shawn stepped through your doors? Was it wrong that his note in the bouquet of roses made you feel like the two of you never broke up? Was it wrong that it hurt more when Shawn left you, than when you kicked Cameron out? Was in terribly wrong that even though it felt like Shawn pushed you off a cliff, you were still trying to hang on because you didn’t quite want to give up on Shawn yet?
It soon became very evident that you still had feelings for Shawn, but where did that put the emotions that you just spilled out to your roommate, Cameron, at? You were starting to question if you ever did actually like Cameron, and the guilt started to get to you. He did so much for you, but you played him. He told you as soon as news came out about Shawn with a new girl, and he always had open arms to your tears.
And you, all you did was throw him in the dirt. You used him as a rebound. You kicked him out, when all he wanted to do was help and shelter you from all of the hurt that you were feeling. It didn’t even hurt a bit when Cameron left, and you now knew why. You made a mental note to apologize to him later, but you only had your mind set on one thing for the time being.
As for Shawn, you didn’t really have a plan on how you were going to work things out with him, but it’d be worth a shot. There was obviously some very bad timing between the two of you, but most of it could be explained if you found him soon enough.
Where could he possibly be? You start brainstorming all of the places he could’ve possibly gone within a two hour period, and your mind took you to the park just a few blocks down from your apartment complex. To any passerby, the park would just seem like a dingy play area that no one even goes to anymore, but to you and Shawn, it’d be a spot to hang out and bond with each other.
While dating, the two of you would go to the park during the midnight hours and would just talk about life, future plans for the relationship, and even about getting a pet together – everything and anything. It’d be something you and Shawn often did to unwind and to simply enjoy each other’s presence. Reminiscing in these past memories made your knees week and lips quiver, but you continued to force your feet to take you to the park.
You shove your hands in your pocket and take in your surroundings: busy street lights, fast cars, and signs of the many businesses lining the streets. The urban scene almost made the park seem out of place in all of the midst, but it added character to your small community.
As you arrived to the park, and scanned the perimeter in hopes of finding the silhouette of the six foot boy. Your shoulders sagged further down as you found no sign of him. Even after circling the edge of the park and kicking around the wood chips while doing so, the playground remained lifeless.
Nevertheless, you decided to take advantage of being at the park and took the ladder connected to the platform leading to the slides. On your way up, you almost screamed and fell off of the ladder as you found a very familiar body laying down, with his eyes closed. He had both of his hands latched onto each other, resting on his stomach, while his right foot was crossed over the left.
You scolded at yourself for not looking here in the first place. This was where you and Shawn often cuddled while at the park. Not only did the spot give the perfect view of everything surrounding the park, but it also let in the refreshing night breeze.
Contemplating your next move, you stared at the Canadian boy for a few seconds before coming to the conclusion that you were probably being very creepy. You collected the courage to say something.
“Hey,” You instantly regretted saying that, realizing how stupid you just sounded.
Shawn didn’t make any movement for a second before opening one eye at you, and closing them again. He even went as far as scooting away from you. The whole action was silently done in less than ten seconds as he continued to obviously ignore you.
You became slight annoyed, but you pressed on. “It’s funny how you’re the one ignoring me, when I should be the one that’s mad.”
Those words got Shawn to open both of his eyes in a matter of seconds. He pushed himself upright and deadpanned to you. He opened his mouth, his eyes full of pure anger. “It’s funny you say that,” he mimics you, “Last time I checked, you were the one sucking off another guy’s face, when I thought we agreed to wait for each other.”
Fuming at this point, you quickly retorted. “You were the one that messed up everything first!” Shawn flinched at your harsh demeanor, but you continued. “Would you like to explain that girl you were with? You and her were practically all of the magazines and twitter for weeks.”
It felt like you were stabbing your own heart again when you brought up the gorgeous girl that was holding hands with Shawn on every magazine stand. She was everything you wanted to be, making you somewhat less comfortable in your own skin.
Something must’ve flickered in Shawn’s mind, because he suddenly seemed a lot less angry and intimidating as his manner softened. You waited for a response, but you got none. Using your hands to push yourself up, getting ready to leave, but you were abruptly pulled back down.
“I-I can explain,” Shawn murmured.
“Well, I’m waiting,” You harshly spat. You had no idea where this new-found confidence was coming from, but you loved it. Spending this last few weeks being strong for yourself certainly gave you the edge in this conversation.
Taking a deep breath, Shawn began to tell you his side of the story. “It was my publicity team’s idea. I promise you I had no part or say in this. They thought it’d be a good idea to create a PR stunt to pr-promote the album and tour. I didn’t even know the girl until they brought her in and told me we’d have to act like we were dating. I-I was honestly so scared about the fake relationship thing, because I didn’t want to hurt my fans, but most of all, I didn’t wanna make it seem like I broke our promise and left you in the dust. You were on my mind 24/7, if I’m being honest. I didn’t know what to do though, that’s why I didn’t text you. I thought if I pushed myself away from you, it’d make it easier for you to get over me,” Shawn rambled.
“I wasn’t even able to tell my family that the whole relationship was a fake stunt, let alone you or my friends. I small part of me was telling me that maybe you still l-loved me, and that I could just explain everything to you and that we’d be able to mend everything back together after my tour,” He continued.
Your emotions were all over the place. So much for being strong. The walls that you thought had been built up in your time away from Shawn was slowly but surely cracking with every word that came out of his mouth. From the look of his eyes, Shawn seemed to be feeling the same. You weren’t sure if you wanted to hug Shawn and tell him that everything would be okay, or to slap him for thinking that he could do this to you and act like everything would be okay as soon as he came back. Fake or not, seeing Shawn and another girl together hurt you more than words could ever explain.
Shawn continued with his explanation as you sat in silence. “I know that we weren’t officially together while I was on tour, but I wouldn’t back stab you nor cheat on you, ever. You were in my mind every time I was with the PR stunt girl. Hell, I don’t even remember her name! I was obviously stupid to think that you wouldn’t move on after everything, but I get it. I told you this the day I left, and I’ll tell you again. I don’t deserve you, and you could find someone better. I was obviously right, and I understand if you don’t want to be with me. Cameron will treat you so much be-”
You were tired of all of the words coming out of Shawn face, so you kissed him, which quickly hushed him. He surprisingly returned the gesture instantly, and your fingers soon laced in his soft brown wavy curls. They say that when you’re kissing someone who you truly like, you can feel sparks, but this was a totally new feeling. It was like nostalgia, joy, and desperation all in one. You’ve been waiting for this moment so long, that your brain simply pushed away everything bad that has happened between you and Shawn in the last year. All you focused on was the boy in front of you who you haven’t seen in a whole year.
You finally had Shawn back in your arms, and even if it wouldn’t be easy, you wanted to forgive him. You wanted to talk through everything with him, and you wanted to find a way to make things work. There were obviously numerous misunderstandings between both of you, but you wanted to forget about them just as much as Shawn did.
Shawn grazed his hands across your waist, until they found a comfortable spot. Tears came down your cheeks, but this time, it wasn’t out of hurt. It’d been so long since you’ve felt sparks and love like this, and if it were up to you, you’d never want the passionate kiss to end. It finally hit you how much you truly missed Shawn, and you were glad he was back home for the time being.
Running out of air, you hesitantly pulled away and immediately hugged Shawn. “I missed you so much. I’m so sorry. I love you,” your words were muffled against Shawn’s broad chest.
“You don’t need to be sorry, Y/N. It was all my fault. I should’ve told you about the PR stunt anyways. Maybe we wouldn’t even be in this predicament if I told you earlier. Please forgive me, baby. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you, so, so, so, much.” Shawn pecked you lips between every ‘so’.
“I forgive you Shawn,” you say while pulling him loser if that was even possible. It’d been so long since you’ve felt so say in someone’s arms. Of course you and Cameron shared moments like these, but never on such deep and intimate levels as this. In these very moments, you knew that all you ever wanted was Shawn. He could be separated from you for years, but no amount of distance and other guys could ever bring you to stop loving Shawn.
You don’t know how long you and Shawn stayed like this – tangled into each other, breathing in each other’s presence. You couldn’t fathom it, but something about this boy drove you insane and love crazy. He could ask you to do something so out of this world, but you’d do it anyways. As long as you could still call him yours at the end of the day.
“I missed you at the show,” Shawn broke the silence, referring to the concert he had in your hometown. The same very concert that you refunded your tickets for. You slightly blushed, but luckily the darkness hid your embarrassment.
Chuckling, you cleverly respond, “Why would I need to do that when you sing all the time in our apartment? Like a concert, but free,” You giggle.
Shawn returns the laugh, making you feel the vibrations from lying on his chest. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too, Shawn. Don’t ever let go,” You plead.
“Could never imagine it, babe.” Shawn replies.
The two of you spent the rest of the night like that at the park – catching up with each other and exchanging “I love you’s” while staring out into the city lights. You lived for these type of moments, and you were glad to say that you were finally at home again. Finally with Shawn again.
You might’ve looked like a fool for trying, but sometimes, the effort is worth the person you’re fighting for.
Hello!! The series is unfortunately over, but I hope you guys enjoyed the ending and the Don’t Be a Fool series as a whole! I know this post was on the shorter side, but I didn’t want to drag anything.
Let me know how I did, and feel free to message me or request prompts (if they are open) here!
p.s. make sure to like and/or reblog this post so the mendes army of tumblr can read this!
If you are like me, you like things written out.
Here are the chords and lyrics to Hometown by Twenty One Pilots
I got the chords from aircatchvr’s beautiful cover!
I wrote these down how I heard them in her cover and how I would play it as well, so it may not be totally accurate, but I like it anyways!
Bertholdt is a very sweet boyfriend. Also very nervous at the outset.
He’s a pretty shy, guarded person and it can take a while for him to open up. But there is no question how much he cares when he likes someone; you can tell how devoted he is even if he seems a little awkward. It’s just because he likes them so much he’s scared to ruin things.
He’s extremely polite around his S/O at first, and that doesn’t necessarily go away, it just become less obvious as he becomes more comfortable with the relationship. He asks for consent for things as small as holding hands, he doesn’t push topics they clearly don’t want to talk about, he’ll apologize about 50 times for even the littlest things, he won’t swear in front of them and will get so flustered if he does, etc. He’s a model boyfriend, really.
He’s the biggest hopeless romantic ever, and will go all out on the romantic gestures. He will always get his S/O flowers if that makes them happy. He is not opposed to resolve a fight by standing outside their bedroom window with a boom box or a series of handwritten apology signs. He is not opposed to dances or kisses in the rain for the aesthetic of it. He is not opposed to setting up ridiculously cheesy scavenger hunts to celebrate anniversary’s or birthdays. Bertholdt is really into all that sappy, cheesy romance stuff and, despite his nature, will not hesitate to do whatever if takes to sweep his S/O off their feet.
All the warm, tight hugs and forehead kisses his S/O can imagine! Also, his S/O can steal all of his hoodies.
He’s a really good listener. Bertholdt finds it easier to listen first, process, and then speak, especially when it comes to matters of the emotions or the heart. Therefore, he makes a point to always be there for this S/O to vent to, to just pour all their sadness and anger on him so that they can work through it together. He may not always have the right words to say to make things right, but he is always there to make them feel heard and valid and important, and to hold them until he does have the words to help them.
Bertholdt is so supportive of his S/O. He admires them for how passionate they are, no matter what that passion is for. He will support them in whatever they do, and will always be their number one fan.
He’s also very sarcastic with his S/O. Clearly, Bertholdt’s S/O is someone he feels very comfortable around, which means that he’s more of his true self, and that means that his sense of humor shines through a bit more. His S/O is therefore subject to more gentle teasing and sarcastic wit than most people that know him, which is quite a treat because Bertholdt can be hilarious when he’s willing to share it.
He’s a really good singer and will sing for his S/O. He won’t sing for most people, so this means a lot to them.
Bertholdt would be an all around kind, chivalrous, and attentive boyfriend. 10/10 would date.
Hiii! Here’s a master post of allll my 30 Day Challenge fics for easy access and so they’re all in the same place for future reference:
1. Beginning - Niall and Harry celebrate the beginning of the rest of their lives together.
2. Accusation - Niall realizes that the accusation itself is far worse than possibility.
3. Restless - Niall’s recent knee surgery makes him incredibly restless and there’s only one person he wants to call.
4. Snowflake - Niall can manipulate the weather and make snowflakes in his bare hands – and Harry is a human who is sort of, a little bit, in love with him.
5. Haze - Harry always seems to kiss him when they’re sharing a blunt in a haze, smoke-filled room.
6. Flame - Harry takes to Niall like a moth to a flame.
7. Formal - Harry’s a prince and Niall is his secret boyfriend, who is also a knight. Harry comes out at his Formal.
8. Companion - Every day Harry sits atop a hill and writes and every day the same adorable puppy comes to visit and Harry reckons he’s made a companion. And then one day there’s a blond boy attached to the new leash around the canine’s neck.
9. Move - “Move, Harry.” In which Niall has been avoiding Harry since he returned to London and Harry sort of corners him.
10. Silver - Niall is a prince and Harry is a pirate after his silver. And maybe something else too.
11. Prepared - Niall isn’t at all prepared for the green-eyed boy with long, unruly curls to come to his rescue.
12. Knowledge - Harry’s sort of a nerd who, despite all of his knowledge, doesn’t quite understand why Niall’s always hanging about.
13. Denial - Niall is in denial and Harry’s the boy who suffers because of it. Then again, maybe they both do.
14. Winter - Niall hates winter, clings to warmer weather for as long as he can. But then he meets Harry in the winter.
15. Order - Niall meets Harry in a bakery and the boy behind the counter comes to know his order by heart – perhaps literally too.
16. Thanks - Harry tells Niall he loves him and the only response Niall comes up with is “Thanks.”
17. Look - Niall is blind. Harry treats it as a disability but quickly realizes it isn’t a disability at all; Niall just sees things differently.
18. Summer - Harry loves the summer. So it’s no surprise that he falls in love with Niall over the summer.
19. Transformation - Both Niall and Harry have the ability to transform into animals.
20. Tremble - Niall trembles in fear of his own claustrophobia and all Harry wants to do is hold him.
21. Sunrise - Harry likes to watch the sun rise; Niall just likes to watch Harry.
22. Mad - At this point, if he’s being honest, he’s not even sure why he’s mad at Harry. He just is.
23. Thousand - Niall doesn’t remember this photo being taken, nor does he remember the other boy in it but his mother always told him a picture is worth a thousand words – and this photo tells a love story.
24. Outside - Harry isn’t sure what he’s doing outside Niall’s bedroom window but he’s sure of the boy inside.
25. Christmas - Harry just wants to have the perfect Christmas dinner and everything falls apart. Or does it?
26. Wind - There’s nothing Niall loves more than the wind in his hair and a thousand fans chanting his name. except for, maybe, one curly-haired boy cheering him on.
27. Diamond - Harry’s a thief who gets his hands on the worldly famous Horan Family Diamond. Niall is just the boy who gets caught in the middle.
28. Letter - Niall receives a series of handwritten letters in the form of song lyrics.
29. Promise - Three times Harry promises to catch Niall.
30. Simple - Niall has always wanted a simple wedding as opposed to the grand, complex thing that’s been planned for them; Harry offers to take him away the night before.
31 (Bonus). Future - Niall’s pretty sure he’s in the future. And for someone who’s never thought much about it, he’s really quite content with the way things have turned out.
The Sergeant and the Captain, or, The True and Accurate Reports Chronicling the Well-being of the Shield-brothers James Barnes and Steven Rogers, Faithfully Submitted by Thor Odinson to Maria Hill, Director.
Steve frequently sends out care packages for the troops, and when he learns about the penpal program, he’s quick to fill out an application. He’s assigned Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. Everything grows from then.
Here is the truth about Captain America and the Howling Commandos that every World War II historian must come to accept at one point or another: we will never know everything. We won’t even come close.
So much was lost with the untimely death of Captain America. While the man beneath the uniform sunk to the bottom of the North Atlantic, the myth lived on, only to grow bigger and more unwieldy as the years went by. Now, it is near impossible to tell fact from fiction, to separate out truth from propaganda.
In 1943, the Howling Commandos wrote goodbye letters to be given to their loved ones in the event of their deaths.
In 2014, Sharon Carter finds those letters in a tin can in an abandoned HYDRA base.
The collected private correspondence—unedited, uncensored—of Steven Rogers, later known as Captain America, and his longtime companion, James B. Barnes, spanning the years from childhood to World War II.
Tell me what is really true. Tell me if I belong to you the way I think I do, if these are not just lies someone put inside me to warp my mind. Tell me this pounding in my chest is what I feel for you and not fear.
“[…] lesbians and gay men writing letters to their lovers and friends faced the special problem of wartime censorship. Military censors, of course, cut out all information that might aid the enemy, but this surveillance made it necessary for gay and lesbian correspondents to be careful not to expose their homosexuality. To get around this, gay men befriended sympathetic censors or tricked others by using campy phrases, signing a woman’s name (like Dixie or Daisy), or changing the gender of their friends. Sailors became WAVEs, boyfriends became WACs, Robert became Roberta. There must exist, hidden in closets and attics all over America, a huge literature of these World War II letters between lesbians and between gay men that would tell us even more about this important part of American history.” - Coming Out Under Fire: The History of Gay Men and Women In World War Two, by Allan Berube