handwritten haiku

Daud: The black-eyed bastard is responsible for all the chaos… i hate him i- *trips* *thousands of kill contracts, memoirs of fuck-ups, sad journal entries that read like a sad, handwritten books, haikus of regret fall out* fuck those aren’t mine i swear i’m just holding them for a friend i- *slips on a badly drawn photo of the outsider in short shorts* fu ck no they’re not mine the outsider did this- *more pictures fall out as daud fall to his knees, desperately trying to pick them up* hang on a sec jUst LISTEN Hang on a sec jUst LISTEN. BLACK-EYED BASTARD OKAY!

anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm a nursing student in my third year who just experienced her first patient death a week ago today. I'm just wondering if you have any tips on how to handle the emotions that come with it. I kept my head through it but I've been feeling down ever since. I'm worried that means I'm not cut out for nursing.

Dear Anonymous Nursing Student,

Dealing with a patient death is different for every nurse or nursing student. What works for me, may not work for you. It also depends on the nature of the death; was it sudden and unexpected or was it expected and a blessing? Talking about it with your clinical instructor may help, if you feel you that kind of relationship with your instructor. Also, since you’re still in school, you may be able to see a counselor on campus. There are also hospital chaplains, or if you attend a church regularly, your pastor or religious leader will be more than happy to sit down and talk with you.

Me, I write poetry. My daily haiku helps me to process what I see and what I deal with every day. I actually keep a handwritten journal with the haiku on the left side of a page and the background of that haiku on the opposite page. Writing out my feelings and emotions about the events that inspired the haiku help me.

That being said, I know that there may come a time with writing poetry may not be enough. According to a 2007 study, nearly 1 in 4 ICU nurses suffer from PTSD. That’s a significant percentage. And the signs and symptoms of PTSD can be subtle and often go unnoticed. I would hope that I would recognize them and seek professional counseling if I needed it. I feel too little is done in the workplace to be proactive with PTSD, especially after traumatic codes.

It’s normal to feel down after a patient dies, especially since it’s your first. As a nursing student, you are likely familiar with the stages of grief. Allow yourself to grieve your patient’s loss and understand that it is part of the job. Dealing with patient deaths will hopefully get easier for you. I cannot say for certain that it will, but I hope it does. I actually wrote a haiku about this…

“You become numb”

Two rooms mourn their loss
Tears fall, chests heave, hearts heavy
What is for dinner?

It’s not that experienced nurses are callous and cold, it’s that we know that to function day in and day out, we cannot let every patient death cripple us emotionally. Otherwise, we cannot function effectively.

Hang in there, baby nurse! What you are feeling is completely normal. Allow yourself time to grieve and then pull on your big nurse scrubs and get back out there! If you find yourself not being able to get over this hump, seek professional help in the form of counseling. I hope this helps! Hang in there and drop me a line and let me know how you’re doing.

Mursenary Gary