handsomemonster

Every Steven Universe Episode in a Nutshell
  • Gem Glow: ice cream makes me do crazy things
  • Laser Light Cannon: Hoarders: Magic Edition
  • Cheeseburger Backpack: mr. queasy get rekt
  • Together Breakfast: Diabetes
  • Frybo: Scarred/ triggered/save me from the fries
  • Cat Fingers: They’re cute. But not that cute.
  • Bubble Buddies: So we’re shipping them right?
  • Serious Steven: Funland Trauma
  • Tiger Millionaire: And his name is JOHN CENAAAAA A
  • Steven’s Lion: pure. just pure all around
  • Arcade Mania: Video games are evil. And fun. Have my money
  • Giant Woman: She’s beauty. She’s grace. She’ll shoot you in the face.
  • So Many Birthdays: hang on to your youth, kids. please
  • Lars and the Cool Kids: *throws peace sign* nature man
  • Onion Trade: Basically trading with Satan. 
  • Steven and the Sword Fighter: Swordfighting kills birds. Don’t kill birds. Get Direc
  • Lion 2: The Movie: Batcave
  • Beach Party: Sorry for wrecking your shop. Here’s a life-threatening experience.
  • Rose’s Room: So your mother’s room is the gates of hell.
  • Coach Steven: Nicki Minaj
  • Joking Victim: *lights the whole town on fire* *doesn’t get arrested*
  • Steven and the Stevens: Clones. Evil but handsome
  • Monster Buddies: precious. always protect.
  • An Indirect Kiss: He like totally just cured blindness.
  • Mirror Gem: water goddess arises
  • Ocean Gem: and then takes the ocean and pull at my heart strings
  • House Guest: Mechanic Pearl
  • Space Race: TOO SPAAAACCCEEEEEE
  • Secret Team: aka Pizza Posse
  • Island Adventure: Cast Away
  • Keep Beach City Weird: I want to believe.
  • Fusion Cuisine: Mega mom crush me
  • Garnet’s Universe: Garnet AU
  • Watermelon Steven: They’re cute and I’ll adopt 23
  • Lion 3: Straight to Video:  MOM ANGST
  • Warp Tour: Introducing Green Doritos
  • Alone Together: friendly bonding but with their bodies…into one
  • The Test: you failed. sorry
  • Future Vision: “I know how and when everyone will die.”
  • On the Run: my origin is basically a bee hive for hot girls with muscles
  • Horror Club: Angsty lighthouse wants angst
  • Winter Forecast: “I know how and when everyone will die” part 2
  • Maximum Capacity: Hoarders: New Years Edition
  • Marble Madness: The return of the green balls and space dorito
  • Rose’s Scabbard: I’m not crying.
  • Open Book: making a fanfiction
  • Shirt Club: Art is a beautiful but terrifying thing.
  • Story for Steven: How I Met Your Mother
  • The Message: They’re coming, Steven. And they’re HOT. 
  • Political Power: Gems aren’t the only ones who are corrupted, Steven.
  • The Return: muscle goddess take me now
  • Jailbreak: water/muscle goddess take me now
  • Full Disclosure: time to grow up or don’t idc
  • Joy Ride: I cope with my situations by hanging out with people twice my age and stealing alien space crafts.
  • Say Uncle: No. Just stop. Please.
  • Love Letters: Three’s a crowd
  • Reformed: that has to hurt. like it has too
  • Sworn to the Sword: Sworn to be Gay
  • Rising Tides, Crashing Skies: the aliens don’t understand my struggles
  • Keeping It Together: by discovering Earth’s horrifying secrets.
  • We Need to Talk: I tried to physically mash into your mother but she wasn’t into it.
  • Chille Tid: Chill time but with nightmares about the water/muscle goddess haunting the ocean.
  • Cry for Help: We heard but we don’t care.
  • Keystone Motel: gay.
  • Onion Friend: Satan wants to play
  • Historical Friction: Don’t we have records or a library for this kind of thing?
  • Friend Ship: How. Did. They. Fuse. In. That. Small. Space.
  • Nightmare Hospital: They walk among us.
  • Sadie’s Song: Steven Universe cosplaying Katy Perry.
  • Catch and Release: adopting the space dorito
  • When It Rains: Imagine if scalding water came down from the sky…
  • Back to the Barn: Slavery but hotter
  • Too Far: The new girl got a toy.
  • The Answer: The story about how two lesbians fell in love and I died
  • Steven’s Birthday: act your age or you know… turn into your age
  • It Could’ve Been Great: No.
  • Message Received: A hot giraffe is our villain. And she has a cute secretary.
  • Log Date 7 15 2: the one where they almost fused
  • Super Watermelon Island: being sacrificed to the water/muscle goddess
  • Gem Drill: underground ANGST
  • Same Old World: Is that a Friends reference?
  • Barn Mates: im gay
  • Hit the Diamond: Space Jam 
  • Steven Floats: First day back home and it already sucks.
  • Drop Beat Dad: get the fuck out
  • Mr. Greg: ANGST but with music
  • Too Short to Ride: So now we have metal benders.
  • The New Lars: human possession
  • Beach City Drift: Need For Speed: Fusion Edition
  • Restaurant Wars: copyright infringement
  • Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service: ok I’m tired of pizza now
  • Monster Reunion: cry
  • Alone at Sea: *One Punch Man theme plays in the distance*
  • Greg the Babysitter: Don’t let Rose watch after a child. 
  • Gem Hunt: Man vs. Wild vs. Corrupted Gems vs. Muscle Goddess
  • Crack the Whip: muscle bitch chill
  • Steven vs. Amethyst: worst fight ever 
  • Bismuth: why am I crying so much
  • Beta: i love gay
  • Earthlings: I should be excited for fusion but I cry.
  • Back to the Moon: Damn Rose.
  • Bubbled: heart attack activated
  • Kindergarten Kid: Roadrunner: Dorito Edition
  • Know Your Fusion: I don’t.
  • Buddy’s Book: Fair thee well
  • Mindful Education: Oh no here comes the trauma.
  • Future Boy Zoltron: is that gay i smell
  • Last One Out of Beach City: absolute best, 10 out of 10, just the best, supported, protect always, love, so gay, love the gay, the gay, is, great, i, just, love the gay
  • Onion Gang: Satan’s Gang