handful of hate

anonymous asked:

Psst bro can you tell us what sort of girls you like ? :>

     Oh, Okuyasu’s type. Come to think of it, he didn’t really think about the details all that much. He would’ve killed to have a girlfriend, that was obvious, but he never really thought about the kind of traits he’d want her to have. What would she be like? What would be ideal? Wording it like that kind of made him feel weird. That wasn’t the way he wanted to see it. But with his lack of experience and childish personality, it was kind of hard for him to stray off that path at first .

     ❝ I like… cute girls. Good girls. I’m not really picky !!  ❞

     No, no, no. That’s too simple-minded. He had to really think about this! All his exaggerated whining and shitty ego aside, he didn’t really have a huge preference. Of course he had his own personal interests and things he admired, but he didn’t stress the little details. They didn’t matter all that much to him. But if there was anything he could make a big deal out of, it was this:

     ❝ I mean — look, dude: I don’t really care what she looks like! I don’t care if she’s smart, or loaded, or whatever. I don’t care if she’s got a Stand or not. Hell, I don’t even care if she likes all that spicy shit I can’t stand !! ❞ 

     He throws his hands into the air theatrically, returning them to his side as his face suddenly grows serious. His tone is sincere, but the way he looks away makes him look as though he’s too embarrassed to keep going .

     ❝ … But I want her to be nice. I want her to like me, even if I’m not really all that great in comparison. I want to be able to take her home to my dad. To have her understand and not turn her back on me when she realizes just how bad things have been for me. I’d give every single yen I HAVE just to find somebody like that to love! I don’t CARE about the little shit! I just want her to be HAPPY with me! To SMILE and act PROUD to be around me ! 

       God damn it, I just want someone to LIKE me !!

     The delinquent shoved his face deep into the crook of his left arm. It was normal for him to be emotional in an extreme degree, but there was something unsettling about this time. This was why he didn’t like thinking about everything so hard. He didn’t feel like he deserved to be thinking at all. He had once been ridiculed simply for existing and acting a fool. Every day, on the hour. Even though everything was far better for him now, he didn’t forget all of the BULLSHIT life handed him. It was carved deep inside his memory like the semicircle markings on his face. Every stupid thought kept going right back to the same damn thing. He HATED it .

                                             ❝ —— I  like cute girls. Good girls. I’m not really all that picky . ❞