hand message

One of the things I loved when I started watching Supergirl was how unapologetically feminist the show was. Sure, I cringed a little at how heavy handed they delivered that message, mostly because I wasn’t used to hearing it spelled out so blatantly, but that was exactly why Supergirl was special. Because it told girls, big and small, that they deserved to take up space.

I’m far from a little girl, this isn’t my show anymore, I’m just playing in someone else’s playground, but it pains me to see Kara turned into a cliche.

Somehow we went from Cat Grant’s speech asking “What’s wrong with being a girl?” and Alex showing that girls can be both bad ass and sensitive, fearless and scared to… this.

Telling girls that the boy who keeps pulling your pigtails and pushing you in the playground is only doing that because that’s how boys tell you they like you.

That when a guy’s a jerk and self-centered and selfish, it’s okay as long as you love him because then you can fix him.

And that, whether fandom admits it or not, a black guy can’t be a white girl’s Prince Charming.

Yes, I ship Supercorp but I also I know that Supercorp is a fantasy. I know that as much as I would love for the show to break that barier, they most likely wouldn’t, but at the very least give Kara a romantic storyline she deserves.

Relationships work because you learn together, take root in one another and help each other grow. I’ve yet to see Mon-el becoming that person for Kara even if I can see Kara becoming that for Mon-el. All I see now is the type or relationship Ross and Rachel had that people realized in hindsight was completely unhealthy.

Ignoring the racist undertones of the decision to bring in Mon-el, I’m not saying him and Kara will never work. Or that Mon-el can never change. Eventually. Maybe. Even I’ll admit it if that time comes. But not right now. And not like this.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.