I’m so much happier now that I’m dead. Technically missing. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone. And my lazy lying shitting oblivious husband will go to prison for my murder. Nick Dunne took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That’s murder. Let the punishment fit the crime. To fake a convincing murder you have to have discipline. You befriend a local idiot. Harvest the details of her hundrum life and cram her with stories about your husband’s violent temper. Secretly create some money troubles: credit cards, perhaps online gambling. With the help of the unwitting, bump up your life insurance. Purchase getaway car. Craigslist. Generic. Cheap. Pay cash. You need to package yourself so that people will truly mourn your loss. And America loves pregnant women. As if it’s so hard to spread your legs. You know what’s hard? Faking a pregnancy. First, drain your toilet. Invite pregnant idiot into your home and ply her with lemonade. Steal pregnant idiot’s urine. Voilà! A pregnany is now part of your legal medical record. Happy Aniversary. Wait for your clueless husband to start his day. Off he goes… and the clock is ticking. Meticulously stage your crime scene with just enough mistakes to raise the specter of doubt. You need to bleed. A lot. A lot, a lot. The head wound kind of bleed. A crime scene kind of bleed. You need to clean; poorly, like he would. Clean and bleed, bleed and clean. And leave a Little something behind: a fire in July? And because you’re you, you don’t stop there. You need a diary. Mínimum three hundred entries on the Nick and Amy story. Start with the fairy-tale early days: those are true, and they’re crucial. You want Nick and Amy to be likable. After that, you invent. The spending, the abuse, the fear, the threat of violence. And Nick thought he was the writer… burn it, just the right amount. Make sure the cops will find it. Finally, honor tradition with a very special treasure hunt. And if I get everything right, the world will hate Nick for killing his beautiful, pregnant wife. And after all the outrage, when I’m ready, I’ll go out on the water with a handful of pills and a pocket full of stones. And when they find my body, they’ll know: Nick Dunne dumped his beloved like garbage, and she floated past all the other abused, unwanted, inconvenient women. Then Nick will die too. Nick and Amy will be gone, but then we never really existed. Nick loved a girl I was pretending to be. “Cool girl”. Men always use that, don’t they? As their defining compliment: “She’s a cool girl”. Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girl is fun. Cool girl never gets angry at her man. She only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner. And then presents her mouth for fucking. She likes what he likes, so evidently he’s a vinyl hipster who loves fetish Manga. If he likes girls gone wild, she’s a mall babe who talks for football and endures buffalo wings at Hooters. When I met Nick Dunne I knew he wanted “Cool girl”. And for him, I’ll admit: I was willing to try. I wax-strippe my pussy raw. I drank canned beer watching Adam Sandler movies. I ate cold pizza and remained a size two. I blew him, semi-regularly. I lived in the moment. I was fucking game. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy some of it. Nick teased out in me things I didn’t know existed. A lightness, a humor, an ease. But I made him smarter. Sharper. I inspired him to rise to my level. I forged the man of my dreams. We were happy pretending to be other people. We were the happiest couple we knew. And what’s the point of being together if you’re not the happiest? But Nick got lazy. He became someone I did not agree to marry. He actually expected me to love him unconditionally. Then he dragged me, penniless, to the navel of this great country and found himself a newer, younger, bouncier cool girl. You think I’d let him destroy me and end up happier than ever? No fucking way. He doesn’t get to win. My cute, charming, salt-of-the-earth Missouri guy. He needed to learn. Grown-ups work for things. Grown-ups pay. Grown-ups suffer consequences.
Our previous collaboration, Something Old, Something New (x)
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“It’s rare for you to prefer sitting outside instead of in away from the bugs,” Kuroo mused softly.
He had finally found Kenma sitting by himself on the hill by the cafeteria building. His friend was tucked against the roots of a tree, knees pulled up to his chest and his hood pulled down low. It was late, and the night was cool. Chilly even, thanks to Kuroo’s freshly-washed hair. He and Lev had returned to the Nekoma room from their extra practice to find Kenma had ‘gone off somewhere’ according to Yaku. And although Kuroo doubted that even Kenma could get lost on a school campus, it put his mind at ease to go looking for him.
“You’re not cold?” Kuroo lowered himself onto the grass beside his friend.
Kenma’s only response was to shake his head, bringing his arms up and folding them across his knees.
Started replaying TEW with a New Game + and without the rest of the plot it’s just a game about Seb being obsessed with Green Gel and leveling up and welp Seb/Green Gel is the only true love, so here is a pic in the honor of it.
A/N: wow I went overboard with this and it’s really all over the place so if you’re confused feel free to message me so I can make things clearer.
This is my first imagine for Harry Hook so I don’t really have his character down yet, also I really hate the ending but I didn’t want it to go on forever so I needed to finish it up.
Being the fifth wheel in a group of some of the most infamous VK’s has never been Y/N’s ideal life, but when approached by the four most feared kids on an island, one does not simply say no.
She hangs around as almost a form of protection, the stigma of the four keeping others away from her. Almost like a security blanket, she can count on having a place in the corner of Mal’s apartment, even if she only stood in the shadows.
Then one day that protection vanishes, the core four summoned to Auradon on Prince Ben’s orders, leaving her behind with nothing.
Two months later she makes her way down an alley way, tugging down the sleeves on her jacket as she nears Ursula’s Chip Shop.
Practically the entire restaurant freezes as she enters, drawing the attention of two teens in particular.
“Well well well,” the teal haired girl sing-songs, dropping a tray onto a table as she walks by, “what do we have here?”
She walks up to the girl, eyebrows raised.
“Tell me Harry,” Uma asks, circling around the her, “are we taking in strays?”
“Hm, I dunno,” the boy replies, smirk on his face, “she’s cute though, maybe we should keep her. I could use another play thing.”
“I just came for food,” Y/N replies, crossing her arms over her chest, “not to join some kiddy pirate crew.”
Uma place a hand on Harry’s chest before he can rush forward, her eyebrows raised slightly.
“Impressive,” she mutters, nodding, “take a seat, I’ll have a server sent your way.”
The girl sits down on a stool, all to aware of the boy who now occupies the seat next to her.
“It’s a shame darlin’,” he drawls, leaning his chin on his hand, “we could’ve had lots of fun together.”
“Never thought you’d want anything to do with me,” she replies, raising an eyebrow, “last I checked I was part of Mal’s crew, not Uma’s.”
“And last time I checked,” Harry smirked, “your little crew are now frolicking around the fields of Auradon, and you’re still here. No crew, no friends, no nothing.”
The girl clenches her fist under the table, swallowing back her words.
“Your point?” She asks.
The pirate smirks, twirling his hook around in his hand.
“Just plotting love,” he says, standing up, “I’ll see you ‘round.”
That is the first of many encounters with the infamous pirate teen, it seems as if every time she turns a corner he’s there, a smirk on his face, the hook in his hand and a backhanded complement dripping off his lips.
Four months after Mal, Evie, Jay, and Carlos left for Auradon she’s walking through the Isle, hands shoved in her pockets.
“Hello there love,” he says from behind her, a half smile appearing on her face, “fancy seeing you here.”
“Is it?” She asks, keeping her stride as Harry falls into step next to her. “Don’t you know where I am at all times? Isn’t that the job of a stalker?”
“I’m offended you would even think I would stoop to that level,” he says, placing a hand on his heart in fake shock.
“What do you want Hook?” She questions, leaning against the brick wall.
“I’ve got a proposition for you,” he replies.
“Do you now?” She smirks. “And is this your proposition or Uma’s?”
“Both,” Harry answers, twirling his necklace around in his fingers, “come to the chip shop tonight, two a.m. We want to talk.”
With that, the pirate turns on his heel and walks down the alley.
“And if I don’t?” She calls.
And she does, at two a.m. on the dot she shoves her way into the shop, one hand on her hip.
“She’s a prompt one,” Uma says from the back.
“Mother always taught me to be on time,” she says sarcastically, making her way towards her.
“Mother’s always give the best advice,” Uma replies, gesturing for the girl to sit down.
“So what is this,” Y/N asks, “I’ve already told you that I don’t have any info on Mal and her friends, haven’t heard from any of them since they left.”
“Nah it ain’t about that,” Uma shakes her head, leaning on her elbows on the counter, “I want…well, we want you to join our crew. Not an entry level type thing, I want you up with us, with me and Harry and Gil. I wanna add a fourth to our ranks.”
“Why me?” She questions, leaning forward. “You could get anyone on this island, especially since Mal left, so why me?”
“Power,” Uma shrugs, “simple as that. You were on Mal’s crew, you’ve got status here. You need a crew and I need a fourth member, figured we could help each other out.”
“You’d be willing to work with me?” Y/N questions, noticing Harry lurking in the background. “And your crew would too?”
“They don’t have a choice,” Uma replies, “but yes, I am willing.”
“And you?” Y/N throws her question at Harry, keeping her eyes trained on Uma.
She sees Harry smirk from the corner of her eye.
“Welcome aboard princess.”
A few days later Y/N joins the pirate crew aboard their ship, arms crossed over her chest.
“I’ll teach you the ropes,” Harry says, “literally and figuratively. You’ll pick it up in no time.”
The two teens spend practically every minute of every day together for the next few weeks, becoming incredibly close incredibly fast.
“We’ve been working hard all day love,” Harry says, leaning against the mast as the girl turns to look at him, “let’s go on a walk.”
“You sure Uma is okay with that?” She asks, quirking an eyebrow.
“Uma doesn’t control every single thing I do,” he rolls his eyes, “c'mon, lets have a rest.”
“Walk me down the beach?” She suggests, holding her hand out to him.
Harry takes it gladly.
“After you princess.”
The two teens walk down the sand, hands still intertwined.
“So I know that ‘dating’ isn’t really a thing here,” she starts, “but you and Uma…is that a thing or?”
“Me and Uma?” The pirate laughs. “Nah, we’re just mates, the best of friends I would say. We’ve been friends since we were toddlers. Why?”
“Just curious,” she shrugs, staring at the shore line.
“I would call dating a thing here though,” Harry says, “it maybe be different than what they have there at Boradon,” Y/N laughs at his nickname for the mainland, “but it’s still a thing. We may be villains, but we’re allowed to fall in love, to get as close to a happy ending as possible.”
“You think we deserve that?” Y/N asks. “Cause I think the people over there think we deserve to pay for the sins of our parents.”
“Doesn’t matter what they think,” Harry replies, “they don’t know what life’s like over here, they don’t get a say in what we deserve.”
“I like that,” she smiles.
“I like you,” Harry says, biting down slightly on his lip as he looks at her.
“Yeah?” She asks, a half smile on her face as the boy nods. “I like you too.”
Harry’s smirk widens, his hand squeezing hers as they continue to walk down the beach.
“We should head back soon,” Y/N says quietly, “I promised Uma I’d cover a shift at the shop tonight.”
“Kiss me first,” Harry says, turning her around so they’re face to face instead of next to each other, “then we’ll go back.”
She does as he asks, smiling as she presses her lips to his. She feels his hand cup her cheek, the slight sea breeze blowing through her hair.
“More of that later?” She questions, causing Harry to smirk again.
“Much more of that later, love,” he says, taking his hat off of his head and placing it on hers, “much more.”
Six months after Mal left the Isle, she came back. Y/N sits in Ursula’s shop, she felt Mal’s presence before Harry even told her.
“She’s back isn’t she,” the girl asks as her boyfriend plops into the seat next to her, “I can feel it.”
“Yeah, she is,” Harry replies, “saw her at Tremaine’s salon, how are you doing?”
“I guess ’m okay,” she shrugs, “but that girl essentially left me for dead, right now all I want to do is see the look on her face when she realizes I thrived while she was gone, that I don’t need her or her posse to run this town.”
“You’re so hot when you’re revengeful,” Harry growls, surging forward and practically smashing their lips together in a heated mess.
“Oh get a room you two,” Uma says a few minutes later, practically throwing a tray down on the bar for Gil.
Harry pulls away from her, only to press another short, bruising kiss to her lips.
“I’ve got a plan,” Uma says, leaning against the counter, “you ready for this?”
Her question is pointed at Y/N, the girl smirks.
“I’m ready for anything.”
Much to Y/N’s surprise, Mal actually shows up to the shop. Uma practically growls, walking up to the purple haired girl as Harry slides an arm around Y/N’s shoulders.
“How ya doin’?” He whispers, lips ghosting over her ear as he kisses the skin gently.
“She may have changed her look, but she hasn’t changed her attitude,” the girl says, “she hated being bad, deep down she always wanted to be like the kids in Auradon, no amount of hair dye and leather can change that.”
As Mal and Uma talk, the purple haired girl’s eyes shift around the shop, landing on the couple near the back.
Y/N presses kisses to Harry’s jaw line, taking the tri-horned hat off of his head and placing it on hers, a smirk playing on her lips as she sees Mal turn her gaze back to Uma.
“And what exactly did that accomplish?” Harry questions playfully.
“Maybe nothing, probably nothing,” Y/N shrugs, smiling up at him, “but it was fun.”
“You’re evil,” Harry mumbles.
“You love it.”
“Hmm,” he hums, grin on his face, “that I do.”
“Walk me home?” She asks, intertwining their fingers.
“After you,” Harry replies, opening the back door for them to leave.
The couple makes their way down the alley, Harry’s arm around her shoulders and their fingers intertwined.
“No no I’m serious,” Y/N says with a light laugh, “she froze the entire kingdom and then turned her own sister to ice.”
“Sounds like she belongs over here,” Harry replies, “not in Auradon.”
“Must be because she’s of royal blood,” the girl shrugs, “but who knows.”
The conversation comes to a halt when Y/N’s eyes land on her used-to-be friends standing in the alley way.
“Y/N?” Evie questions with surprise. “You’re still here?”
“Where else would I be?” Y/N shoots back harshly, Harry squeezing her hand gently.
“What’s going on here?” Jay asks, hopping down from his perch above the alley.
“Just trying to get home,” Y/N replies, “what are you all doing here?”
“Getting Ben,” Carlos answers, glaring at Harry, “no thanks to this clown.”
Y/N places a hand on Harry’s chest, holding him back.
“Just leave it,” she whispers, shaking her head, “they’re not worth it.”
“You’ve changed,” Jay says, crossing his arms, “last thing I remember you wouldn’t go near Uma or her crew.”
“Yeah well,” she shrugs, looking up at Harry, “I had to survive somehow, the only friends I had deserted me. And things just…happened.”
Harry kisses her forehead, Carlos’s jaw practically hitting the floor.
“Well that’s…” he searches for words, eye darting around the alley, “new.”
“Time to go?” Harry asks in a whisper, the girl nodding in agreement.
“Good luck getting your friend back,” she says, “you’re gonna need it.”
The two of them swagger off, Harry spinning the hook around in his hand.
“You’ve gained more confidence since they left,” he says, “it’s hot. I’m proud of you.”
“All thanks to you,” she replies, “when I was friends with them I felt…weak. Like I was a charity case or something, but when I’m with you and Uma and Gil I feel…powerful. I feel like I matter.”
“You do matter,” Harry replies, “and we’re gonna rule Auradon together. And no one is going to ever make you feel like you don’t matter again.”
“Promise?” She questions, smile on her face as she cups his cheeks.
“Promise,” he smiles, kissing her hard, “we’re gonna rule the world princess.”