hammer-throw

I was looking for a present for a friend whose baby turned a year old. The first review on this cracked me up.

I am torn in reviewing this toy.  Here’s why:  The toy is definitely well-made, will not come apart, will not break unless subjected to massive violence.  It definitely builds motor skills, hand-eye-coordination, and even thinking skills–as deciding which colors should be up or down or evenly matched in height requires some intricate choice and physical application.  So, the toy is a great toy!

But …

You are basically giving your child a miniature of Thor’s hammer.  Not a hollow plastic hammer, mind you.  No, no.  This is a toddler weapon the great god of thunder would approve of.  Two solid wooden pieces held together very well.  The head of the hammer is sculpted to allow attacks from many interesting angles.  Great for the toy.  Not so great if your little one might decide to go “a-viking” during a playgroup, family get-together, or school function.

Like the mighty Mjolner, this hammer throws well, flies fast and far, and can kill the mightiest of trolls.  Or televisions.  Or PC’s.  Or Grandma.

So … the only reason I take a star off is because of the deadly weapon that comes with this awesome toy.  Maybe it should have been fastened by a cable to the toy, Melissa & Doug?  It’s not cool that parents have to do this thinking for you.  But we love Grandma.  Having our toddler turned Thor send her to the hospital is not our idea of fun.

If your child is meek and kind and dependably non-violent, go for it.  GREAT TOY!  If your little one may just be a conqueror of lands reincarnated into this tiny body, please beware the hammer! 

lmfao!

anonymous asked:

OK I really really want to know about this hammer throwing. Is this a big thing where you are? Like a sport? What made you decide to get into this?

(Ooo!!! I’m actually really happy you asked, anon! Prepare for long post.)

  I live in Finland, Lapland. Here isn’t that many people so, believe it or not, I am the only female hammer thrower in Lapland (according to the statistics atm). I come from a small municipality called Posio, around 3k residents, so it’s pretty unavoidable to not to be noticed when you reach your country’s top 5 of your age in a sport. 

Originally posted by relayapp-blog

(Lol this gif)

  Hammer throwing isn’t a big sport in Finland. We have few good men throwers on the world Championship level (we do have an European Championship gold metal of hammer throw from Olli-Pekka Karjalainen (I have met him, he’s a really cool guy). I personally (at age of 18 atm) have reached the Finland’s top 20 (I was 11th on the Finnish Championship) on women’s hammer throw. 


  And because of that people in my municipality went crazy! The press is always following me during my summer competitions and sponsors ask if they could help me to get me to these training camps and they also offer me supplies for training (throwing shoes, hammers, clothes etc.). I am also a part of Western, Eastern and Northern Finland’s National Team (Southern has their own, because there is so much people there). 


  So yeah, Finnish people are pretty keen of watching sports. Ice hockey and skiing in winter, athletics (especially Javelin throwing) in summer. There are a few athletes in Posio (who I train with and we’re all like a wee happy family). 


  It’s a nice story (imo) how I got into hammer throwing. From age of 6 I was crazy about Shot Put! I loved it (I still do, but I like hammer throwing more) and one day we needed a hammer thrower in this one competition so we could get more points for our athlete team. I can’t remember the year when it happened (around 5 years ago??) but our coach came to me and said: 

“Hey, would you like to try hammer throwing?“ 

  And I happily agreed to try it out. And it turns out that I made amazingly in the competition and then I started training hammer throwing with all might!


  This year I’m looking forward to be in the top 3 throwers (of my age) AND if I do end up that good, I may get to be a part of the national team which goes to the European Championship! THEN I’D MAKE MY WAY TO ITALY! I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS SUMMER!!

Originally posted by luizalfonso

So, this happened toward the endgame of a campaign I was in a while ago. Our heroes were above level 20, and had some insane gear and some awesome enemies to fight.

Context: we’re trying to board this space ship (main antagonist was a time traveler) to get to the main baddie before he left. We just ascend some stairs and have this walkway that’s about 200 long, there’s a tower just above the corner, then turns right and has about another 50 feet before we get to the ship. As we ascend the stairs, we hear an enemy behind us that we’ve fought before.

This guy is pretty much the lizard from Spider-Man, a scientist that takes a serum and grows into a huge reptilian.

(Baddie): and where do you think you’re going? *starts bad guy speech*

Our cleric has a hammer that he can throw and it comes back to him. On a crit it knocks the enemy prone.
(Cleric): *raises his hand* id like to interrupt him and throw my hammer at him.

DM: ok, go for it.

Nat 20, of course.

(After the group finally calms down)
DM: ok, you hit him and he falls backward, down the stairs. Then you hear him start to transform.

Party: run!

So we start running down this open roofed corridor, and we can see the ship start taking off. The cleric, of course, is in the back of the group with the slowest run speed. We get halfway down the first corridor before the lizard guy jumps onto the tower at the turn. We turn and keep heading to the ship. He jumps down and cuts off the cleric from the rest of the party.
He lets out a huge, monstrous hiss straight into the clerics face.

Cleric: I throw my hammer at him again.

Another nat-fucking-20.

(After about 10 minutes of laughing)

He’s knocked prone and he runs past him, getting onto the ship and effectively 100% bypassing the DMs entire encounter.

AHS Hotel: “Her husband is going to kill you”

Your husband, James was nowhere to be found so you decided to pay Liz a visit at the bar.

Sally happened to be there too, so you sat right next to her. There was also an older caucasian man drinking alone just sitting 1 stool away from you. He looks like he is in his 60′s.

You, Liz, & Sally were having a nice conversation until the man randomly budded in saying, “you’re disgusting.” He was swaying his head as he was holding his drink. He obviously seemed drunk.

You turned your head to look at him and mugged him, not saying a word because you assumed he was just talking to himself. Then you turned back around to face Liz. Sally just looked at him as she was smoking her cigarette and Liz raised a brow at him.

“You’re disgusting,” he repeated while looking at me.

“What?” You looked back at him, with a confused look on your face.

Sally, still having a cigarette in her mouth said, “Excuse me?”

He pointed at me, while drunkily saying, “You have no respect for yourself. Look at what you’re wearing. And too much makeup.”

This man came out of nowhere. You felt more confused than you felt disrespected. You found it quite hilarious, actually. All you’re wearing are 5 inch heels with an all black jumpsuit that showed cleavage. It’s not like you were naked. Maybe this man was just having a bad day or maybe his wife cheated on him. I mean, he was alone. Who knows. But you weren’t going to let it ruin your day.

“Who gives a crap about what she’s wearing?” Liz annoyingly says to the man.

“Yeah, she looks hot. Fuck off.” Sally adds.

The man takes a chug from his beer. “Whore”, he sloppily words. 

You let out a fake laugh and flipped your hair. “You’re funny.” 

The old man is so drunk that he accidentally knocks his beer bottle, having the rest of the beer spill on you. He didn’t even care to pick it up, so he spat on the floor. 

Sally rolls her eyes and puts her cigarette in the ash tray. 

Liz picks up the bottle and quickly grabs a towel to hand to you. “Her husband is going to kill you.” She points at the man.

“It’s alright, Liz. Don’t worry about it. He’s quite hilarious actually. My day has been boring until this loser came along.” You said as you were patting your clothes dry with the towel.

“I ain’t afraid of nothing.” The man says while glaring at you, emphasizing the word ‘nothing’. He stood up, getting ready to leave but Liz walks around the bar and grabs the him by the shirt. “You don’t talk to the lady of the house like that! Do you hear me?”

“No Liz, it’s alright really. He’s just drunk.” You say to Liz, putting your hand on her arm to calm down. Liz was always so loyal to you because you’ve done so much for her as a friend.

“It’s fine, Y/N. Me and Sally are going to escort this punk out of here.” Liz says and glances at Sally. 

Sally nods her head and gets up. “We’ll be back.”

Both Sally and Liz take the man downstairs. Will Drake passes them at the top of the stairs heading to the bar. 

“Y/N, what was that all about?” Will points at them laughing, then goes to pour himself a drink.

“Long story. He’s just wasted.” You laugh back.

………………..

15 minutes pass and Liz comes back. Sally didn’t come back with her. She probably went back to her room or something.

“Damn Liz, took you long enough.” You said sarcastically.

Liz sashays to her spot behind the bar, popping her lips saying, “Yup.” She seemed like she was up to something, but you didn’t question it.

“It wasn’t a big deal, but thanks for having my back anyways.”

Liz puts one hand on her hip and snaps her fingers with the other. “Oh don’t worry about it. He was messing with my girl, Y/N. By the way, James said he needs to see you in the laundry room.”

“Uh laundry room. For what?” You were so confused. Laundry room? Out of all places, James wants to meet you there? Whatever. If your husband needs to see you, you’re definitely going to be there.

“Who knows, hun.” Liz shrugs.

……………..

Once you’ve reached the laundry room, you see James with his sleeves rolled up standing behind the man that disrespected you at the bar. The man is on his knees with his hands tied up in front of him looking afraid, but not saying a word. You figured James roughed him up a bit before you got there. “You will pay for disrespecting my queen.” You hear James tell the man as you walked in.

“James?”

“Ah, darling!” James turns around and looks at you with excitement.

“What is going on?” You stood there surprised. You didn’t expect Liz and Sally to really go out of there way to bring the man to James. You really thought they both escorted him out of the hotel. No wonder it took Liz forever to get back. 

“This is the creature that Liz and Sally have informed me that said such vile things to you at the bar, no?”

“Yes. Yes he is.” You said with an evil grin. You knew exactly what James was going to do. So you cross your arms in front of you and watch him. You also remembered that James needed a fix as well. It’s been a little over a week since he’s killed anyone, anyways.

The man turns his head to look at James. “You’re never going to get away with this.” He turns his head back to face the opened laundry chute.

James leans over and whispers in the man’s ear. “I happen to disagree with you.”

Something about James right now just turns you on. You can’t tell if it’s because he’s looks sexy with his sleeves rolled up or if it’s because he’s so protective over you that he’s willing to kill for you. Or maybe it’s both.

James stands up straight, then roughly bashes the back of the man’s head with his hammer and throws his body down the chute. Good riddance.

James wipes his forehead with the back of his hand. You walk over to James and whisper in his ear, “I love watching you kill.” Then you leave the room to head over to your bedroom. You knew that saying that would turn James on and that he would soon be following after you.

_____________________________________

*NOT MY GIFS*

I’ve been loving adding gifs to my stories lately! lol I like to make it feel as real as possible as you’re reading. I’ve been starting to get my story inspirations from looking up gifs.

Track AU (Positions and Why)

America: A sprinter. No question. Have you ever seen a sprinter? Hard work, all muscle, bursts of effort, but still kinda lazy He probably does the 200 as his main event. And he would love relays.

Russia: A thrower. I highly doubt Russia would ever run. And he’s huge. Probably the best at the hammer throw. And jav.

France: A high jumper. Yes. I am a high jumper. I can tell you, high jumpers are vain and lazy and showboats. We found a specialty and we think we’re better than everyone else and we love to be watched. 

Prussia: A pole vaulter. The more intense version of a high jumper. They never seem to be doing anything else and they are just “too cool.” Pole vaulters somehow stand apart and impress everyone even while being dorks. He could also do hurdles, but only the 100.

Germany: A thrower and sprinter. I don’t know why but I feel like the only thing that Germany would run is the 400. And only the 400. I think his main event would be the discus. 

Canada: Distance. He’s tall and lanky and is probably all zen about it. He probably does the steeple chase. To throw in some excitement. And he’s like, looong distance, like 3k and above.  

Italy: A jumper. He isn’t going to sprint or run. No way. He’s willing to triple jump and long, even try high jump, but he’s not cut out for running.

The Baltics: They’re all distance. They’re that one knot of distance runners that every team has that always does everything together and is always giggling?

England: Mid-distance. Runs the 800 mainly. Volunteered for the steeple chase once. Isn’t that good at harder events but keeps volunteering to do really hard things. 

China: Hurdler. Especially the 400 hurdles. I can imagine him putting that hair up in a bun and having it falling out each race.

Hungary: Sprinter. Yes. Short sprints. 100, 200. 

Denmark: Sprinter. Same reasons as America. They’re always on relays together.