Madison: I may be short but that doesn’t mean I’m innocent! *aggressively tries to open a caprisun*

Jefferson: Do you want me to open it for you?

Madison: …yes please.

*Trying to teach Hamilton to sing*

Laurens: It’s not that hard if you just listen to me.

*Hamilton attempts to sing and screams like a pterodactyl*

Laurens: Not even close. Try again.

Hamilton: *mating turtle noises*

Laurens: I already told Washington you could sing. Try again.

* Sometime later*

Laurens: Okay, Alex, sing it exactly like we practiced

Hamilton: Oh oh oh

*Hamilton freezes*

Hamilton: O'REILLYYY AUTO PARTS! *air guitar*

Laurens: *facepalm*

*Thank you @breybrey405 for the idea :)

  • Hamilton: would you like to join us, or stay mellow doing whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello?
  • Jefferson: which is Madison
  • Hamilton: excuse me?
  • Jefferson: nothing
  • Washington: *thinking* if I see another gay person I'm going to cry


Eliza: *pushes Alexander onto the floor* burn

Hamilton Pride Headcanons

- They go extremely early, they both don’t want to miss anything.

- Alex and Laurens are both decked out in their pride flag colours. Alex somehow managed to become a human bisexual pride flag and Laurens is wearing sequined shirt that reflect the sun.

- “I’m wearing them to blind the homophobes, Alex.”

- Laurens somehow finds himself holding a random guys hand as they all sing ‘It’s Okay To Be Gay’.

- They meet up with the rest of the squad and Lafayette has the most flawless pansexual pride makeup they’ve ever seen.

- Hercules is an ally but he’s decked out in all the flags because he supports everyone.

- Laf somehow found really short shorts that were rainbow coloured and brought John to the car so he could change into them.

-“You have nice legs, mon petit lapin.” “Thanks, Laf.”

-Peggy is fiercely waving an asexual pride flag and may or may not have made a cuddle buddy.

-Maria has used red in her favour and became the personification of the most attractive polyamourous pride flag.

- “Laurens, are you crying?” “Ever see a woman so beautiful that you had to cry?” “Okay, I feel that.”

- Hercules sewed Maria’s dress, using actual pride flags.

Laurens: What does the cow say?

Baby Phillip: Moo!

Laurens: Great! What does the cat say?

Baby Phillip: Meow!

Laurens: Awesome buddy! What does daddy say?


Alexander: Yep. That’s my son.

Being Alexander Hamilton's Child would include...

Originally posted by purelintrash

Being Alexander Hamilton’s Child would include (Modern)….

  • Alexander first got news of your birth during a vicious  argument with Tjeffs
  • “Shut up you french loving hoe! I have to go witness the miracle of life!”
  • “We’ll finish this later, Jefferson!”
  • Him knocking down several nurses on his way to the delivery room
  • “S-Sorry on my way way to meet my kid!”
  • “I’ll clean that up later! I promise!”
  • He got there in record time
  • Him passing out while witnessing your birth
  • Philip handled it better than him
  • Him and Eliza smiling at each other lovingly as they hold you
  • “What shall we name her/him, Alexander?
  • “How about (Y/n)?”
  • “That sound perfect,”
  • Him showing you off to his friends
  • Laf and Herc arguing about who the godfather was going to be
  • Laurens ended up being your godfather and Angelica  you’re godmother
  • “I’m gonna be the godfather!”
  • “No mon ami i’m gonna be the godfather!”
  • “Alexander!!!”
  • “John, me and Alexander would like you and Angelica to be the godparents,”
  • “It would be my honor Eliza”
  • Him not having a problem staying up late to watch you
  • (It’s not like he sleeps anyway)
  • “I won’t let anyone hurt you,”

Lafayette: in French, you don’t say “I miss you.” You say “tu me manques” which means, “you are missing from me” isn’t that amazing?

Jefferson: here you don’t say “you all” you say “y'all” which means, “you all,” unless there’s a lot of y'all then it’s “all y'all” which means “all you all”

When they're sleepy (Hamilsquad Headcannon)


-Alex becomes super whinny
-He wants any physical contact he can get
-His hair makes it way up into a sloppy bun
-His glasses ride the brim of his nose
-He craves coffee, takes a sip and then sets it aside
-He doses off standing up,
-When he’s fallen asleep, he snores, one leg thrown over the back of the couch


-John is the complete opposite
-He’s drained, and he’s also whinny
-He loves to have his hair played with
-He zones out sometimes, daydreaming about sleeping
-He’s constantly yawning,
-He claims the tears are his soul leaking out
-John often falls asleep leaning against something- a wall, the counter, arms crossed.
(Like wtf)


-He’s super hyper
-Refuses to sleep no matter how tired he is
-Then he complains about the stinging in his eyes
-He’s acts like a child, pouting when you bring up sleep,
-Snores shake the house, arms always have to be wrapped someone


-Really distant
-Angry tired
-Offended if someone breathes too heavily
-100x sassier
-But will literally laugh at nothing for ten minutes until he’s crying
-Falls asleep with no warning
-Wakes up in someone’s arms and then apologizes for being so grumpy, “I was tired chéri.”

Washington: *walks into the room* Good morning everyone!

Burr: Good morning.

Alexander: Good morning.

Laurens: Good morning.

Lafayette: Good morning.

Washington: You all sound like robots! ‘Good morning, good morning’. Come on spice it up a bit!

Hercules: *walks in* HEY MOTHERFUCKERS!

Hamilton Headcanons: Jefferson & Hamilton (part 3)

“Financially you could make it work,” Washington tells Hamilton as they sit at the kitchen table at Mount Vernon. “If you sell your car, otherwise you’re not really saving anything.”

Hamilton nods. “I figured. I can take the train easily enough to visit.”

“But I have one concern.” Washington eyes his son. “Are you sure you want to move in with Thomas Jefferson? I don’t want this to become another situation like with your ex.”

Hamilton makes a face and ruffles through his checkbook. “My name won’t be on the lease,” he mumbles. “It won’t be like with John. We’re just roommates.”

“I should hope so.” Washington stands to get another cup of tea. “He’s a bit older than you. More tea, Lex?”

“Please.” Hamilton hands his cup over. “I want to get out on my own again.”

“I understand.” Washington sets the cups and teabags on the table. “Will you be able to fit two beds in his apartment?”

Hamilton spoons sugar into his cup and lies, “Yeah.” Jefferson hadn’t said anything when he mentioned being able to supply a bedframe and he assumed they’d continue to share.

“Mom and I can help you move next weekend if you’re a hundred percent sure.”

Hamilton smiles at his dad. “I am.”

“Good.” Washington leans forward and wraps his hands around his cup. “Your old college buddy, Aaron, called looking for you the other day. Didn’t seem to have your number?”

Hamilton scratches his neck. “Yeah… He got annoying after graduation. I’ve been trying to avoid him.”

“Well, he’s in town. He was a cute kid; you should have dinner with him.”

“Ugh.” Hamilton stirs more sugar in his tea. “I haven’t seen him in, like, four years and that’s not nearly long enough.”

Washington chuckles. “Alright, Lex.” He stands and ruffles his son’s hair. “I’m going up to bed. Don’t stay up too late.”

“I won’t. Night, Dad.”

“Goodnight, son.”


Monday morning, Hamilton rushes into the elevator and grins when he sees Jefferson.

Jefferson returns it and hands him a coffee. “Got it all figured out then?”

“Yeah.” Hamilton sips his drink. “What about sleeping arrange—” He stops when the elevator door opens and a woman gets on.

“Good morning, Ms. Schuyler,” Jefferson says.

“Morning, TJ.” She nods to Hamilton.

“We can share,” Jefferson tells Hamilton not even bothering to keep his voice down. “You okay with that?”

“Yeah, but…” He glances at the woman.


He shakes his head and waits until they get off the elevator. As they walk down the hall, he finishes, “We’re not romantically involved. Isn’t that going to get weird?”

“So we get romantically involved.” Jefferson opens the door to their office. “I know you’re a bit younger but does that bother you?”

Hamilton glances at Jefferson as heat creeps up his face. “No.”

*I honestly have no idea what this is or how many parts it’ll be*

Hamilton but BIRDS

made by me and Dixie @worldseemedtoburrn YOU GUYS ARE FUKCING WELCOME

Alexander Hamilton = Flamingo (what else would he be)

Aaron Burr = Crow (it’s just fits)

John Laurens = Woodpecker (smol, overlooked, etc.)

Marquis de Lafayette = Swan (god damn it)

Hercules Mulligan = Parrot (he’s a fashionista okay)

George Washington = Eagle (because he fucking can)

Eliza Hamilton = Duckling (feisty cinnamon roll that must be protected)

Angelica Schuyler = Mockingbird (mockingbird @alexander @thomas)

Peggy Schuyler = Hummingbird (small and forgotten)

Thomas Jefferson = Seagull (annoying and problematic, just go away)

James Madison = Penguin (it just fITS)

Maria Reynolds = Peacock (walk walk fashion baby)

King George III = Vulture (no comment)

Alexander: four years ago today, I married my best friend…

Everyone: awwwwee

Alexander: my wife is still really angry about it, but me and John were drunk and thought it was funny

Alexander: There is nothing that you guys can do to make me cry.

Jefferson: …

Madison: …

Burr: …

Jefferson/Madison/Burr: John Laurens.

Alexander: *starts crying* You know what fuck you guys!

Hamilton Headcanons: Jefferson & Hamilton (part 4)

Hamilton moves in a week later, bringing some much-needed furniture, although they pretend to Washington that they wouldn’t be sharing a bed. After he leaves, they return Hamilton’s bed to the center of the room and stack both mattresses on top.

“Do you think we could get a cat?” Hamilton asks as they sit on the bed with bowls of ice cream for dinner a few days later. “Monty was pretty cool.”

“Perhaps,” Jefferson says. His phone rings and he gets up to answer it in the kitchen a few steps away. “Hey, James.”

Hamilton continues to eat and tries not to listen to the phone conversation, which sounds like a myriad of medical complaints and Jefferson assuring his friend he’s probably fine. Then offering to buy him multiple things.

Jefferson hangs up a few minutes later and Hamilton steps into the kitchen to wash his empty bowl and spoon. “Where does James work?” he asks.

“At his father’s firm.” Jefferson scrolls through his phone. “His title is assistant but the position is pure nepotism. He goes in whenever and does some paperwork and makes coffee. He has terrible migraines and can’t work long days.”

“I see.” Hamilton squirts a bit of soup in the bowl and scrubs it with a washcloth. “I’m guessing he doesn’t make much money?”

Jefferson chuckles. “Eavesdropping, where you? I help him out when I can with car payments and stuff.” He waves his hand at the crappy apartment. “That’s why I live here.”

Hamilton gives a quick grin and tries to leave the kitchen. Jefferson blocks the small entrance between the counter and wall. “Want to start that romantic involvement?” He reaches for his hoodie that Hamilton has adopted and pulls it off. “You want that, right?”

Hamilton nods. He lets Jefferson take his t-shirt but steps back when his partner goes for his jeans.

“Trust me.” Jefferson strokes Hamilton’s cheek and bends down to kiss him.

The kiss is intoxicating and Hamilton reaches for more when Jefferson pulls back. He lets Jefferson undo his jeans and steps out of them.

With no effort, Jefferson picks him up and tosses him on the bed. He undresses and lays his muscular body over Hamilton’s. He covers his partner’s face and chest with kisses, his deft fingers caressing all the right places.

Hamilton closes his eyes as moans and sighs escape. He snorts in surprise as Jefferson tugs down his underwear. He grabs his partner’s wrist. “Easy, TJ.”

“Hush.” Jefferson pushes him back against the pillows. He slips a hand under Hamilton and caresses his backside while pulling his underwear all the way off.

Hamilton’s heart pounds as Jefferson lowers his head. “I don’t—” He closes his eyes again, constrained to Jefferson’s touch.

He always thought his and John Laurens’ sex life had been pretty wild. He knew know how vanilla it had been.

Jefferson kisses him one last time. “Go clean up,” he murmurs. He gets up to hide the handcuffs.

Hamilton can barely move but manages to limp his way to the bathroom and turn on the shower. The hot water soothes his aches. He examines the multiple bruises on his body with satisfaction.

It was even better the next night. Jefferson exhibited endless energy in bed and kept Hamilton up late most nights during the week.

“I need a night off,” Hamilton whispers to him one afternoon at work. “I’m, like, raw.”

Jefferson smirks. “Let me see.”

Color floods Hamilton’s face. “Not here.”

“I’ll lock the door.” Jefferson moves across the room and turns the lock.

Sighing, Hamilton unbuckles his belt and pulls his clothes down.

Jefferson strokes him gently and kisses him. “You’ll be alright.”

“TJ, for real.” Hamilton tugs his clothes up, wincing as his underwear rubs his multiple tender spots. “Not tonight.”

Jefferson taps his nose. “We’ll see.”


that would be enough-

hamilton lockscreens (+1) ; part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

other lockscreens on  my hamilton lockscreen tag