hamburger joint

dating roman godfrey would include

  • sex all the time
  • like all the time
  • there would be no point in buying underwear because he’s gunna rip them off
  • blowjobs under the staircase at school
  • getting high a lot
  • baths together
  • taking cocaine of ur tits
  • hands on his crotch under the table at fancy dinners
  • just driving around when you’re upset
  • him kissing your neck a lot
  • hickeys where no one else can see
  • just kissing a lot like have u seen his lips???
  • period sex 
  • being close to Shelley
  • fancy dates ending in you going to a little hamburger joint to makeout

Half pike with a twist by Don Sniegowski
Via Flickr:
The sign of Parkette Drive-In at Lexington, Kentucky.

lapidot road trip tropes
  • Peridot is the main driver, she controls the aux cord with vengeance
    • Lapis makes off key techno noises with her mouth until Peridot is forced to change the playlist from Daft Punk to Nikki Minaj
  • Lapis is in charge of the map but they definitely get lost and Lapis takes them to strange backroads with weird rock formations
  • They 100% go to the desert because Lapis is curious about places with no water and Peridot hears that’s where her alien plush comes from
    • they take a second road trip to Canada to do the CPH experience in person
  • After watching 12 hours of Guy Fieri Lapis takes them to every hamburger joint on the way and give them reviews. In person, outloud. 
    • Peridot has a yelp account but she mostly just compares all food to how alike it is to pizza (the first thing Amethyst introduced her to)
  • They gather a total of 67 souvenirs for Steven, ranging from ‘Welcome to Hawaii!’ from an Arizona pitstop and knock off crying breakfast food merch (it’s an “otmeel with emotions!”)
  • they run off into thunderstorms when it rains in the desert and Peridot tries to show Lapis how cool falling water is, and they stare in wonder at lightning and the noise that follows
    • they may or may not hold hands when it happens

Sansby au where sans opens a hotdog cart right outside of Grillby’s hamburger joint and sans gets a ton of customers without trying (which he doesn’t) (it’s probably because he keeps stacking hotdogs on that kids head and it gathers a crowd) and sans and Grillby are food rivals

A Storm in the Kitchen

Matt smiled at her.” I’ll see you tomorrow night at 7.”

The next day around 5:00 pm, Matt and Foggy had just finished a court hearing and had made their way back into their office. 

“Was that hearing overly long or was that my stomach making it more longer than it actually appeared to be? I’m starving and sleepy and it’s only 5:00 for Heaven’s sake.  

“It was probably a combination of both but we did very well today, regardless. I say you should eat one of those vastly unhealthy hamburgers over at Burger joint on 56th St or head to JG Melon. You’ll face no health charges from me…well at least not today. You’ve earned it.” he chuckled. 

Foggy grunted as he slouched back in his chair.”You’re a real piece of work buddy.”Hey, did you read the morning paper?” he asked before reaching into his desk drawer to take grab a Butterfinger bar he had stashed away. 

“No, why?” He asked in a curious tone. 

“Well I know you have a meeting with Ororo in a couple of hours but according to this paper she’s dating Bruce Wayne. They have a photo of them together leaving some kind of restaurant that are usually reserved for people like Tony Stark, Lex Luthor or Bill Gates. Now as your attorney in this matter I say take no action until evidence is conclusive.” he smiled, taking a bite from the chocolate bar. 

Matt simply stayed silence opting not to respond to his friend’s quip.

“Matt? Come on, Ro probably wasn’t even doing anything with him.” 

Matt retorted in a tone that was much deeper than his normal voice.”“I’m going home, Foggy. I’ll talk to you in the morning.” He grabbed his coat and left the office in a hurry. 

“Well why not just break the door next time.”Foggy sighed.


How To Have A Good Weekend (Like Guy Fieri Would)

-cover your entire house (or child) with flame decals

-Lube up that tired body with some good ole fashioned ranch dressing

-Hear somebody say “I’d eat a sneaker if it was covered in this chil.” Grab em, scream “put your money where your mouth is brotha,” place the chili shoe under the broiler with cheddar and sit his ass down

-enter a restaurant kitchen unasked 

-eat a grilled sandwich and announce to the table “what sticks out about this sandwich is the flavor of the cheese”

-Tell all you know about the legend of Flavor Town, a community ruled only by legendary killer sandwiches, where the rivers flow with sausage gravy, where the car wheels are whole pizzas, where doctors just throw their hands up in indignation, where you’ve been dead for 30 years

-listen to Staind with the windows down, driving 100mph into a old school hamburger joint, eat the car

-Eat a corn dog on the toilet

-Stick a handful of large silver skull rings into a rising pizza dough

-Place your hand in a deep fryer and eat it

-fill a hose with nacho cheese

-Hear “when ANGELS HEARD, THE NEWS TODAY” on radio in a local 7-11 and jump directly into the rotating hot dogs, mouth wide OPEN, UNDER THE SUNLIGHT

-wear sunglasses on the back of your head and when somebody asks why, tell em it’s cuz you ordered 36 appetizer platters and you want to see that fresh fry comin’ right out of the kitchen

-Place two sandwiches and a variety of tacos directly on top of each other, eat em while you watch Spike TV’s Tattoo Nightmares

-Scream “SAMMY HAGAR” with your mouth full

Butcher + The Burger

BUTCHER & THE BURGER 1021 West Armitage, Chicago, IL Phone: 773.697.3735

Black Friday we met at Butcher & The Burger for our post thanksgiving meal. Still in food comas from the night before, we all knew, there’s no cure like the hair of the dog that bit you – even when it comes to regaining your appetite after overeating turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy.

Butcher & The Burger on the corner of Armitage and Kenmore Ave, is the heart child of chef Allen Sternweiler whose vision was to create a special place in the neighborhood where foodies and alike could enjoy the country’s best burger menu. Offering juicy meat patties, fresh ingredients, and a very flexible menu, you are guarantied to leave here satisfied. Ornamented with vintage finds and unique retail items for sale, the space stands out from your ordinary local burger shop. Although the space itself is small, it doesn’t fell crowded. Most likely there will be a constant line running from the register to the front door while you eat, another testimony to the quality of the food.

Diving in to our burgers, potato salad, and fries with truffle mayo, we forgot about our turkey hangovers and savored the sweet fulfillment of overeating once again. 


I wonder if that guy regrets not giving him a ride?