hamburg reptile show

PSA TO ALL REPTILE SHOW PATRONS

I saw a post earlier attempting to warn others about buying from a particular seller so I thought I’d make my own. Been meaning to do this for a while.

Fred Kick of Kicksballs Ball Pythons is a vile, disgusting piece of shit. He buys wild-caught animals and flips them at shows for outrageous prices and–I wouldn’t make this claim if I hadn’t seen it myself in person–he has dead animals on display in deli cups at his fucking table. For sale. The ones I saw in person were frogs but I’ve heard other people have seen dead lizards and snakes at his tables over the years as well. 

His animals at shows are often dehydrated, underweight, and visibly crawling with mites (which he vehemently denies, despite extensive photographic evidence) and he’s dishonest about feeding records, WC/CBB status, age of animals, and ease of care (I witnessed him attempting to sell a Burmese python to a fifteen-year-old as a first snake). He also told me that he fed one of his for-sale chondros three times in the past two days and then transported her to the show, stuffed her into a display case that was way too small, and let dozens of people handle her. If you try to inspect his animals too closely he’ll snatch them out of your hands claiming you’re “stressing” the animal when he’s actually just afraid you’ll look under the animal’s chin and notice the horrid mite infestation. 

He has a huge presence at both the Hamburg and White Plains shows. He doesn’t always display his animals under the name Kicksballs, but his setup at shows is always the same–one table with deli cups and locking plastic cages along with a large metal rack filled with five- and ten-gallon aquariums with larger animals for display. The aquariums all have green reptile carpet on the bottom. His animals are low quality and visibly unhealthy–he often has three-legged baby beardies for sale. You can’t miss him. 

He sets up at Hamburg in the back left of the firehouse and at White Plains near the concessions area in the front left. Sometimes his brother and kid/nephew are with him. Steer way fucking clear, don’t give your money to this walking sack of human waste. 

Island of Birds
Hamburg Reptile Show

Another thing I did after different shit went down

Go live on an island of birds

Let loose in the absence of words

Embracing the silence

In the presence of giants

With your heart cut into thirds

Cling close on the wing of a dove

Remember what it was like to love

Sing sorrowful songs

Of your record of wrongs

And thoughts you will never speak of

Forget and find life in the rain

Shed sadness and lingering pain

Remember what she told you

When she came to hold you

And never think on it again

Island of Birds
Hamburg Reptile Show

(drunk sad songs made by yours truly)

Go live on an island of birds

Let loose in the absence of words

Embracing the silence

In the presence of giants

With your heart cut into thirds

Cling close on the wing of a dove

Remember what it was like to love

Sing sorrowful songs

Of your record of wrongs

And thoughts you will never speak of

Forget and find life in the rain

Shed sadness and lingering pain

Remember what she told you

When she came to hold you

And never think on it again