ham-on-everything

Me before becoming a fan of musicals: Oh boy! Musicals sounds fun! Time to explore new fandoms!

Me after finishing Heathers, DEH, BMC and Ham: Now I’ve seen everything

10 UNTRANSLATABLE NORWEGIAN TERMS

1. Skjerp deg

This phrase does not bode well for you. It usually means you’re making an idiot of yourself. “Skjerp deg” could be translated as “Sharpen yourself up,” and it’s used in all sorts of contexts.

Teachers use it to tell students to pay attention. I yell it at friends who are doing something ridiculous. Cops use it to tell off criminals who are obviously lying to them, parents say it when telling off their five-year old who has just drawn with crayons all over the new wallpaper.

2. Kos(elig)

This is a common feature of all the Scandinavian countries: We have a word to describe the feeling of warmth and friendliness that arises from sharing simple pleasures of life with people you like.

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anonymous asked:

I just started at wayofsubs and there's a photo of this guy next to the register with a post it note saying WTF???? I asked everyone and no one would tell me who he was etc. but today I had the pleasure of meeting him and now understand why he has his picture there. He gets everything on his sub. And I mean everything. Chicken, meatballs, ham, bologna, turkey everything. And all the salads, and all the sauces. It's ridiculous but he's a great guy, always waits til it's quiet and jokes around+tip

When Mike came home after school, it was clear to him that something was off. It was really silent, only she sound of dishes colliding could be heard from the kitchen. He took his sneakers off and swung the backpack over his arm, heading towards the sounds.

‘Hi mom. ’ he kissed her on the cheek and opened the fridge. His stomach (and still growing lanky body) demanded food.

’ Hi. ’ his mother repiled shortly, washing a plate as if it did something to her. ’ Dinner will be ready soon. Don’t stuff yourself with this. ’

He stopped chewing on a slice of ham and swallowed.

'Is everything alright?’

Karen sighed and put down the plate.

'Your sister got in a fight at school. ’

Mike nearly choked on a food.

'Holly? You sure we are talking about Holly?’

'Yes, Michael, I am talking about Holly. ’

'How… What… When?’

'I don’t know everything. She didn’t say a word since I picked her up from school, when the principal called. All I know is that she attacked this boy, Tommy Harper. He has a broken nose and one of his teeth is moving, I guess. ’

Mike snorted, as he imagined his 7 years old baby sister, with angel-like appearance, soft voice and love for dresses, breaking noses.

'It’s not funny Michael! ’ his mother scolded, furrowing her eyebrows.

'Yeah, sorry, you’re right. Is she in her room?’

'Yeah, she locked herself there as soon as we got home. ’ Karen sighed again an shook her head.

'Okey mom, how about I go and try to talk to her, and you don’t worry? ’

She nodded.

'Will she talk to you?’

'She will. ’

He went upstairs, dropping his backpack on his bed, and then he headed to Holly’s room, the one she inherited from Nancy, when their oldest sister left for college.

'Holls?’ he knocked on the door. 'It’s Mike. Can you open the door?’

'Go away. ’ she murmured from the other side. He furrowed his brows. She sounded like she was crying.

'Holly, c'mon. I get it that you don’t wanna talk to mom, but I won’t lecture you, you know it. And if you’ll open the door, I will convince mom to let me take you to the cinema on Saturday, okay? ’

A moment of silence.

'Will El go with us? ’ it sounded like she was standing in front of the door now.

’ I’d have to ask her, but I’m pretty sure she will. ’

The lock clicked and the door opened slightly. Her cheeks were wet from tears and her blue eyes stared up at him miserably. He crouched in front of her and she opened the door more and wrapped her skinny arms around his neck, sniffling.

'Hey, Holls. It’s alright.’ he hugged her. 'C'mon kid, its okay. ’ he stood up, swinging her a little so her hanging legs swung to the sides. She was getting heavier, but was still rather light. She giggled a little, gripping his neck tighter.

'Okay, enough strangling me, I’d like to live a bit longer. ’ he joked as they sat on she window sill. She let go of him and leaned her head against his arm, still sniffling. 'You wanna tell me what happened?’

She shook her head hesistantly.

'Holls, you know I won’t laugh, or be mad or something, right?’

'He was being mean. ’ she admitted. 'First he insulted this girl at our class. In front of everyone. I mean she is… not skinny, but it’s not a reason to laugh at her. She was really upset. ’

'And you punched him?’

She shook her head.

'I just told him to stop and that he should get his head out off his butt for once. ’

Mike lifted his eyebrows.

'Where did you hear that?’

'Max. ’ she said innocently.

'Right, should’ve guessed. So you told him that, and?’

'Then he said that… ’ she hesistated. 'That he heard my brother likes to defend such losers too. And he told me to shut up and mind my own business before I turn into a pathetic waste of space like you. ’ her eyes watered up again, and she pulled her knees to her chest.

Mike blinked and looked down.

'Oh. ’

It was one of this moments when he should care but cared a lot. He knew those were the words of some kid that he shouldn’t mind at all, but they did touch his sore spot. All he ever wanted was for his family and friends to be proud of him, never to be ashamed of being associated with him. But at moments like this he felt like he was a royal screw up.

'So I told him that I maybe want to be like you, and some jerk of a mouthbreather won’t stop me… and I punched him. Hard. ’ she kept her eyes on the floor, so she didn’t see the amusement and pride lighting up his face.

'You spend way too much time with Max, Eleven and Nancy, you know that?’

'Is that bad? ’ she looked up at him.

'Nah. Not at all. ’ he hugged her again, kissing her hair.

'Ew, Mike. Go kiss El. ’ she pushed him away but smiled at him, her eyes still moisty.

'I sure will. But for now about I go downstairs and talk to mum, and then I’ll help you with your homework? And when El comes over we can watch something together. ’

She nodded as he stood up, ruffling her hair affectionately and smirking.

_________

I suddenly felt like writing some sibling fic with Holly and Mike, bc let’s agree that Mike would grow up to be the most loyal and kind older brother ever, and Holly would totally be a bit rebellious with all the influence she would get. Also Mike here is kinda inspired by my own older brother who is actually the best and was always there for me and I love him a lot

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@yooranweek Day 5: Vacation

I have this headcanon where someone gives Saeran like a Bunch of disposable cameras before he and Yoosung go on their honeymoon. And he’s never shown an interest in photography before, but now that he’s got them he fuckin goes ham. He documents everything just super casually. “Hey Saeran why did you take a picture of that bird?” “Idk it looked funny.”

(He documents important stuff too.)

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Alice Glass Dj IHEARTCOMIX & Ham on Everything presents THE BLACK OUT 

it was Madness

Mine Part 7

Originally posted by whenimaunicorn

Warning: SMUT. 

Daylight rose over York and once again the village came to life with Vikings grinding axes, feasting and drinking. The celebratory praises to the gods for their recent victory. Ivar dressed before her and fetched her a few eggs and meat, barely holding onto to the plate he placed it next to her.

Kali woke up, her eyes refusing to accept the sunlight rolled over and gave him a timid smile. Her mind was not refreshed for a million thoughts raced through them the entire night and by the time she’d got some sleep it was morning. “Morning Ivar.”

“Kali,” He hands her the plate and gives her a small smile.

This vulnerable, sweet Ivar is who she craved. Though she hated that the red in his eye had grown worst over night, he still looked perfect.  “You brought me food?”

“You have to be healthy.” He answered. “Eat.”

“You tossed and turned last night.” She picked up a few pieces of the ham. “What’s on your mind?”

“Everything but I won’t worry you with it. Family concerns shouldn’t bother you.”

She dropped her food and pushed the plate back across the bed. “Why should they not concern me?”

“Because brothers fight.”

“You are so stubborn. Everything concerning you, concerns me. I mean we are one are we not?”

“No, you are Kali and I am Ivar.”

Kali folded her arms. “Am I to be your wife?”

“As I cannot picture myself with anyone else, yes. You are it for me. I only want you and you know that, though I am sure that the baby is skewing your mind. Are you coming with me to see Ubbe and Hvitserk off?”

“You treat me as I am a foreigner when it comes to matters that will concern me and if I am to be your wife… perhaps you should take heed of my opinion.”

“I am bad at this Kali, I don’t know what is expected of me when it comes to you.”

“I want you to listen to me.” She sat on the edge of bed next to him and touched his hand. The small calluses from years of dragging himself around plagued his hands, as did the pressure of leaning on his cane.

“Then speak.” He whispers.

“They are your brothers and without them you will be heartbroken rather you want to admit it or not, you still allow Sigurd to haunt your dreams and if you let them leave this too will haunt you.”

“I need no one. My brothers are men, they make their own decisions and I will not beg them to stay. And neither will you.”

“Of course not,” she grimaced.  “I mean treat them better, treat me better. Here lately it has been nothing but orders from you. Fetch this, do that, you will not, you can’t. I thought I was free?”

“You are, I care for you and I want to make sure you are safe.”

“I am a warrior myself, I don’t need you to protect me. I need you to leave me alone.” Kali climbed in his lap resting her knees on the edge of the bed. “I hate that you got dressed so quickly though my prince.”

“I can easily undress.” Ivar nipped at her ear.

“I know you can.” She bucked her hips playfully as her tongue licked his sharp jaw bone. She moaned at the salty taste and then pushed him back on the bed. She felt the pulse strength in her as she removed her dress and pulled his dick from his pants. “But you don’t have to.” She kissed him anxiously, near lingering in one spot for long.

He allowed her to worship him with her movements and watched her admirably. Kali’s small hands gripped him stroking him until he was erect then sunk herself on him with a hitched breath. Her body writhed with pleasure as she began to quicken her pace. She took advantage of every thrust he gave making sure went as deep as possible each time their hips met.

Ivar rested his hands on her hips slowed her rhythm on him adding a slight grind the deeper he went. Kali loved this position the most, she took advantage of the sexy noises he made the closer he got, the quicker his heart race and she felt it all. She clenched herself around him as she became undone and he hastily began to rub circles on her clit and she fell into him causing him to follow behind her.

Ubbe had taken salted meats and nuts and his furs for the journey during winter could get gruesome. But the faster he left York the better he would feel. Ivar had gone mad with power, annoyingly so, and the way he had treated him last night had been the last straw. He tossed his last few items on the cart to push to the boats.

“Ubbe,” Kali said holding a basket of fruits. “I went to the orchards for you and Hvitserk. I have some apples and peaches for you and a barrel of ale. I have a slave bringing that though.”

Ubbe gave her his crooked smile. “You are too kind Kali, I still haven’t figured out how Ivar was so lucky to find a sweet woman like you.”

She blushed as she handed him the basket and kept a notion to cover her stomach, though smile she’d grown more than protective of it. “Are you sure you want to leave?”

“Oh I will not stay here any longer.” He placed the basket in the cart and turned to her. “You look worried.”

“I am not.”

“You should be.” Ubbe warned. “He has gone mad.”

“You are silly.” Kali stood on her tiptoes and she gave him a sisterly peck on the cheek. “Tell Hvitserk not to eat all the food from you.”

“I can tell him, I am afraid it will do no good Kali.”

Ivar had grown over dramatic, bringing with him one hundred soldiers to see his brothers off. But it was not what she expected. He wore his black cloak that she had made him draped over his head and instead of a good farewell. He looked angry.

Kali stood beside him with her maroon cloak draped over her shoulders. Waving friendly at the two brothers and their small entourage. It had been fewer people than she expected to leave, the people loved Ubbe, but apparently loved Ivar more.

“Look at you! Trying to sneak away to avoid your shame! Surely you must be embarrassed that nobody else is with you! Now why is that? I can’t understand can you?”

Kali nudged his back, “Ivar that is enough.” She hissed.

“Ubbe! Nobody is with you! Everyone is with me!” The crowd erupted from behind her. Hvitserk slowly jumped off the boat. “Hvitserk,” He said with a smile.  He jumped stone to stone until he was back on land standing next to Ivar. He folded his arms and stood next to his brother. “You see! Everyone is with me!”

“Will you treat me like this if I was to go against?” She pushed Ivar’s shoulder.

“What?” He said confused. His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“This is how you treat your family!” She finally had enough she sprinted towards the boats.

“KALI!!! Get her!”

She unsheathed her sword and skipped backwards towards the boats. “Come near me and I will destroy you!” Kali screamed at the top of her lungs. She trudged through the water and the Vikings stopped. Ubbe reached over and pulled her aboard. “Come aboard sister.” He smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Kali!” Ivar yelled, his voice echoed through the surroundings.

“Apparently not EVERYONE is with you brother!” Ubbe laughed as the men pushed their oars through that water.

Tag List:: 

@ismoocheswho @sparklemichele @fuckyeahalexhoghandersen @imgoldielikehawn @byzantium-glytch @titty-teetee @kimistry27 @whenimaunicorn @readsalot73 @oddsnendsfanfics @genxmama @lol-haha-joke @kawennote09 @vaisabu @vbiggs03 @ducklyz

Gif Credit: @whenimaunicorn


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vignettes. || bill skarsgård. (lushed.)

description: a series of fun, fluffy (or whatever else your heart desires) one-shots and imagines inspired by reader requests and prompts.

title: lushed.

warnings: fluff, couple swears, mild sexual allusions .

requested by: various lovely people.

|| you all have been super busy sending me all kinds on wonderful requests over the past few days! thank you so much! I’ve added them all to my list, and will be getting to work on them as soon as I can. however, some of them are so heartbreakingly angsty (though beautiful), and I didn’t want to fill in this little holiday void with anything too sad, so I’m hitting you up with some fluff until we ring in the new year. then, we can all get the sads together. deal? deal. ||

~

The streets were eerily quiet. Everyone was snuggled up indoors, the little among them waiting excitedly for the big man in red to arrive. It was snowing, which looked appropriately magical, and the only sound dancing around the festively-lit streets was the sound of you, and Bill, and your tipsy giggles.

‘How are we still this drunk, if we ate so much?’ He had one arm slung lazily over your shoulders, fingers twirling in the tassels at the end of your scarf, while you had one of yours wrapped tightly around his waist—partly for warmth, and partly to keep yourself upright.

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