ham-and-cheese

its 2067. im a prominent judge. after sentencing a pedophile to death, i return to my office. my robot assistant brings me my (pre-screened) mail. i thank them. i open the first e-message and read “you know what’s nasty? that you want someone dead because they’re into something you don’t like #dontkinkshame” signed by anonymous. i pull out my digital scimitar and stab it into the paper; it travels through the internet and pierces the heart of the sender, killing them instantly. i finish opening my mail. my robot assistant cleans my scimitar. i have a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch.

“Felan, what are you thankful for?”

~ My Family that is Daddy and Mama and Sleepy and Fen-Fen and Jor and his Johnny and Hela and the Twins that are Nari and Vali. Also Uncle Thor and Auntie Jane. Gramma and Grampa Lewis and all of my uncles and aunties and lots of cousins.

~ My Tower Family that is Uncle Phil and Grandpa Nick and all the ‘Vengers except Uncle Thor because he is Daddy’s brother so he is family family.

~ My Friends Skooge and Amy and Sonic and Mer and Carl and Otter and Basil who is my mouse.

~ ham and sprinkles and cheese and spaceship cookies and meatloaf and popcorn and cheeseburgers and potatoes and bacon and pancakes and pizza and noodles and apple juice and goldfish crackers. And all the other food too.

~ snuggling and glitter and my princess dresses and flower crowns and footie jammies and video games and fuzzy socks and my stuffed animals and Disney and my sparkle lights by my bed and Doctor Who and my toys and stickers and books and music and dancing and bath time with bubbles and Planet Earth on tv.

well. I guess it’s official that professor venomous is my new bae…….which means unfortunately, I am obligated to draw him fucking a ham and cheese hot pocket

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