ham chat

{1} Shit-Chat (Hamilton x Reader)

(A/N): FILLER THAT WILL EXPLAIN ITSELF ON THE WAY ENJOY THE NEW SERIES I RUSHED THIS ONE IM SORRY ILL FIX PLOT HOLES LATER

ROLE-CALL

ItsCold: Aaron Burr. Older twin brother to Theodosia Burr. Single. Male, Queer (has never specified), he/him.

Hamilsin: Alexander Hamilton. In a relationship with John Laurens, used to be poly with Elizabeth Schuyler. Male, Bisexual, he/him.

TurtleneckSwtr: John Laurens. In a relationship with Alexander Hamilton, used to be poly with Elizabeth Schuyler. Male, Bisexual, he/him.

BettyBets: Elizabeth “Eliza” Schuyler. Middle child Schuyler. In a relationship with Maria Reynolds, used to be ploy with Alexander and John. Female, Demisexual/Pansexual, she/her.

AngelTheAngle: Angelica Schuyler. Eldest Schuyler. Single. Female, Bicurious, she/her.

Pegster: Margarita “Peggy” Schuyler. Youngest Schuyler. Single. Demigirl, Panromantic, she/her or they/them.

Rad_Baugette: Marquis de Lafayette. In a relationship with Hercules Mulligan. Androgynous, Pansexual, they/them.

Hunkcules: Hercules Mulligan. In a relationship with Lafayette. Male, Pansexual. he/him.

GWashingturnt: George Washington. Married to Martha Washington. Male, Queer (has never specified), he/him.

mommamartha: Martha Washington. Married to George Washington. Female, Bisexual, she/her.

RedViVibes: Thomas Jefferson. In a relationship with James Madison. Male, Pansexual, he/him.

Jemmy_MadHatter/JemmyAndJams/JamesTheJem: James Madison. In a relationship with Thomas. Male, Bisexual, he/him.

KingOfAll: George Frederick. (aka King George iii). Single. Male, bisexual (mostly gay tho), he/him.

BonBonjour: Louis-Auguste Capet (aka Louis XVI of France aka the French king during the American Revolution). Single. Male, asexual, he/him.

Theodopesia: Theodosia Bartow Burr. Younger twin sister to Aaron Burr. Single. Demigirl, bisexual, she/her.

Mariatheliar: Maria Reynolds. In a relationship with Eliza, noteable high school sweetheart of Alexander. Female, bisexual, she/her.

DotDotDolley: Dolley Payne. Single. Female, gray-panromantic, she/her or they/them.

And finally

momma(Name): (Name) (Last Name). Single (for now). Gender non-conformative (for the sake of this fic), pansexual (for the sake of this fic), they/them (for the sake of this fic)

~~

Hamilsin opened a new group chat!

Hamilsin added ItsCold, BettyBets, AngeltheAngle, Pegster, Rad_Baugette, Hunkcules, RedViVibes, Jemmy_MadHatter, Mariahtheliar, TurtleneckSwtr, GWashingturnt, mommamartha, KingOfAll, BonBonjour, Theodopesia, DotDotDolly, and momma(Name) to the group chat!

Hamilsin renamed the group chat!

#TeamCoca

ItsCold: What is this

ItsCold: Why so many people

Pegster: ITS GONNA GET L I T

AngeltheAngle: shut up peggy ur only 20 you cant get lit

Hamilsin: that?? saltiness?? is?? not?? Needed??

Pegster: is this still about your wheat thins

Pegster: im sorry about your wheat thins

TurtleneckSwtr: IM SCREAMING THIS IS THE FIRST THING I SEE HERE

momma(Name): #ripAngelicaswheatthins

Hamilsin: why do you have matching usernames with my mom??

Mariahtheliar: ow???

RedViVibes: ow????

Hamilsin: EW EW EW GET THOTMAS AWAY FROM ME

RedViVibes: OW????

Jemmy_MadHatter: Who changed my username and why?

Jemmy_MadHatter: Also, Alex stop being so fucking salty.

Jemmy_MadHatter: I have receipts.

Pegster: wow okay jeMMY

TurtleneckSwtr: don’t mess with james he will drag you

momma(Name): please don’t hurt me

Jemmy_MadHatter: i will never <333

momma(Name): <33333

RedViVibes: </3

Jemmy_MadHatter: <3333333333333333

Hamilsin: ewww mom they are doing the love thing

RedViVibes: Alex I will legit run into your dorm room and fight you

BettyBets: what

BettyBets: please dont

BettyBets: like dont

RedViVibes: why are you in there??

Hamilsin: WHY ARE YOU IN THERE??

BettyBets: um,,

Rad_Baugette: No reason ;)

momma(Name): please don’t do that it makes me uncomfortable

Pegster: (Name) you say that about everyone

momma(Name): yeah because im  / / e d g y \ \

Hamilsin: stop.

AngeltheAngle: ITS NOT A PHASE MOM

AngeltheAngle: THIS IS THE REAL ME

GWashingturnt: Um get off your phone please.

GWashingturnt: Miss Angelica we’re supposed to be reading please stop I can hear something youthful and hip playing back there.

ItsCold: I CAN HEAR IT OH NO ANGELICA

AngeltheAngle: OH YES ANGELICA

AngeltheAngle: IT ABOUT GONNA BE THE FORMATION TOUR IN THIS J OI NT

Pegster: I WANT TO JOIN OMG

Pegster: QUEEEEEEN

KingOfAll: I see the word queen im here

Hamilsin: hi rich white kid

KingOfAll: hi young minority upstart :D

Rad_Baugette: WOW THANKS FOR MAKING IT HIT HOME

Hamilsin: ouCH

BettyBets: tbh isnt that all of us except for george??

GWashingturnt: ???

BettyBets: no you’re George

BettyBets: the white rich British kid is george

momma(Name): ya’ll its almost 4 am where I am please shut up

Pegster: YE E T

  • Server: Can I get you anything else sir?
  • Man: Yeah, I'll take a side of ham please.
  • Server: Um, sure.
  • **server returns in 5 minutes with a side of ham**
  • Server: Here you go. Anything else I can get for you?
  • Man: Yeah, can I get a side of ham please?
  • Server: Uh... ham? Sure... be right back.
  • **server returns in 5 minutes with a side of ham**
  • Server: One slice of ham. Anything else?
  • Man: Ya know, I'd love a side of ham.
  • Server: Sir?? This is the 14th slice of ham I have brought to you???
  • Man: Oh, I'm so sorry. I suffer from hamnesia.
At the end of the school year
  • Shitty Teacher: I guess we did end up getting together in the end right?
  • Me: Here's an itemized list of 30 years of disagreements
  • Shitty Teacher: Sweet Jesus
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>han solo:</b> i can't feel my chest when im with you<p/><b>han solo:</b> and i hate it<p/><b>han solo:</b> and i hate it<p/><b>han solo:</b> i can't feel my chest when im with you<p/><b>han solo:</b> bc there is a moTHER FUCKING LIGHTSABER IN IT, BEN<p/></p><p/></p>