ham chat

real talk part 2

in hamtaro ham hams unite when you had to get pashmina to come back to the fucken club house n she was sitting there on the big red fence but you couldnt just go right up the Fence bc it was a giant maze and it took u 50 tries to figure out which maze led to pashmina but the second u say hello her Scarf blows away and she cries and u have to go back down and figure out which maze u have to take AGAIN to get to the fence post with the crow that grabbed the scarf and then u had to pee on the crow to get the scarf back…i hated that shit

{1} Shit-Chat (Hamilton x Reader)

(A/N): FILLER THAT WILL EXPLAIN ITSELF ON THE WAY ENJOY THE NEW SERIES I RUSHED THIS ONE IM SORRY ILL FIX PLOT HOLES LATER

ROLE-CALL

ItsCold: Aaron Burr. Older twin brother to Theodosia Burr. Single. Male, Queer (has never specified), he/him.

Hamilsin: Alexander Hamilton. In a relationship with John Laurens, used to be poly with Elizabeth Schuyler. Male, Bisexual, he/him.

TurtleneckSwtr: John Laurens. In a relationship with Alexander Hamilton, used to be poly with Elizabeth Schuyler. Male, Bisexual, he/him.

BettyBets: Elizabeth “Eliza” Schuyler. Middle child Schuyler. In a relationship with Maria Reynolds, used to be ploy with Alexander and John. Female, Demisexual/Pansexual, she/her.

AngelTheAngle: Angelica Schuyler. Eldest Schuyler. Single. Female, Bicurious, she/her.

Pegster: Margarita “Peggy” Schuyler. Youngest Schuyler. Single. Demigirl, Panromantic, she/her or they/them.

Rad_Baugette: Marquis de Lafayette. In a relationship with Hercules Mulligan. Androgynous, Pansexual, they/them.

Hunkcules: Hercules Mulligan. In a relationship with Lafayette. Male, Pansexual. he/him.

GWashingturnt: George Washington. Married to Martha Washington. Male, Queer (has never specified), he/him.

mommamartha: Martha Washington. Married to George Washington. Female, Bisexual, she/her.

RedViVibes: Thomas Jefferson. In a relationship with James Madison. Male, Pansexual, he/him.

Jemmy_MadHatter/JemmyAndJams/JamesTheJem: James Madison. In a relationship with Thomas. Male, Bisexual, he/him.

KingOfAll: George Frederick. (aka King George iii). Single. Male, bisexual (mostly gay tho), he/him.

BonBonjour: Louis-Auguste Capet (aka Louis XVI of France aka the French king during the American Revolution). Single. Male, asexual, he/him.

Theodopesia: Theodosia Bartow Burr. Younger twin sister to Aaron Burr. Single. Demigirl, bisexual, she/her.

Mariatheliar: Maria Reynolds. In a relationship with Eliza, noteable high school sweetheart of Alexander. Female, bisexual, she/her.

DotDotDolley: Dolley Payne. Single. Female, gray-panromantic, she/her or they/them.

And finally

momma(Name): (Name) (Last Name). Single (for now). Gender non-conformative (for the sake of this fic), pansexual (for the sake of this fic), they/them (for the sake of this fic)

~~

Hamilsin opened a new group chat!

Hamilsin added ItsCold, BettyBets, AngeltheAngle, Pegster, Rad_Baugette, Hunkcules, RedViVibes, Jemmy_MadHatter, Mariahtheliar, TurtleneckSwtr, GWashingturnt, mommamartha, KingOfAll, BonBonjour, Theodopesia, DotDotDolly, and momma(Name) to the group chat!

Hamilsin renamed the group chat!

#TeamCoca

ItsCold: What is this

ItsCold: Why so many people

Pegster: ITS GONNA GET L I T

AngeltheAngle: shut up peggy ur only 20 you cant get lit

Hamilsin: that?? saltiness?? is?? not?? Needed??

Pegster: is this still about your wheat thins

Pegster: im sorry about your wheat thins

TurtleneckSwtr: IM SCREAMING THIS IS THE FIRST THING I SEE HERE

momma(Name): #ripAngelicaswheatthins

Hamilsin: why do you have matching usernames with my mom??

Mariahtheliar: ow???

RedViVibes: ow????

Hamilsin: EW EW EW GET THOTMAS AWAY FROM ME

RedViVibes: OW????

Jemmy_MadHatter: Who changed my username and why?

Jemmy_MadHatter: Also, Alex stop being so fucking salty.

Jemmy_MadHatter: I have receipts.

Pegster: wow okay jeMMY

TurtleneckSwtr: don’t mess with james he will drag you

momma(Name): please don’t hurt me

Jemmy_MadHatter: i will never <333

momma(Name): <33333

RedViVibes: </3

Jemmy_MadHatter: <3333333333333333

Hamilsin: ewww mom they are doing the love thing

RedViVibes: Alex I will legit run into your dorm room and fight you

BettyBets: what

BettyBets: please dont

BettyBets: like dont

RedViVibes: why are you in there??

Hamilsin: WHY ARE YOU IN THERE??

BettyBets: um,,

Rad_Baugette: No reason ;)

momma(Name): please don’t do that it makes me uncomfortable

Pegster: (Name) you say that about everyone

momma(Name): yeah because im  / / e d g y \ \

Hamilsin: stop.

AngeltheAngle: ITS NOT A PHASE MOM

AngeltheAngle: THIS IS THE REAL ME

GWashingturnt: Um get off your phone please.

GWashingturnt: Miss Angelica we’re supposed to be reading please stop I can hear something youthful and hip playing back there.

ItsCold: I CAN HEAR IT OH NO ANGELICA

AngeltheAngle: OH YES ANGELICA

AngeltheAngle: IT ABOUT GONNA BE THE FORMATION TOUR IN THIS J OI NT

Pegster: I WANT TO JOIN OMG

Pegster: QUEEEEEEN

KingOfAll: I see the word queen im here

Hamilsin: hi rich white kid

KingOfAll: hi young minority upstart :D

Rad_Baugette: WOW THANKS FOR MAKING IT HIT HOME

Hamilsin: ouCH

BettyBets: tbh isnt that all of us except for george??

GWashingturnt: ???

BettyBets: no you’re George

BettyBets: the white rich British kid is george

momma(Name): ya’ll its almost 4 am where I am please shut up

Pegster: YE E T

{2} Shit-Chat (Hamilton x Reader)

(A/N): Should i make this more of an x reader because if not then im gonna make it super Gay™

ROLE-CALL

ItsCold: Aaron Burr. Older twin brother to Theodosia Burr. Single. Male, Queer (has never specified), he/him.

Hamilsin: Alexander Hamilton. In a relationship with John Laurens, used to be poly with Elizabeth Schuyler. Male, Bisexual, he/him.

TurtleneckSwtr: John Laurens. In a relationship with Alexander Hamilton, used to be poly with Elizabeth Schuyler. Male, Bisexual, he/him.

BettyBets: Elizabeth “Eliza” Schuyler. Middle child Schuyler. In a relationship with Maria Reynolds, used to be ploy with Alexander and John. Female, Demisexual/Pansexual, she/her.

AngelTheAngle: Angelica Schuyler. Eldest Schuyler. Single. Female, Bicurious, she/her.

Pegster: Margarita “Peggy” Schuyler. Youngest Schuyler. Single. Demigirl, Panromantic, she/her or they/them.

Rad_Baugette: Marquis de Lafayette. In a relationship with Hercules Mulligan. Androgynous, Pansexual, they/them.

Hunkcules: Hercules Mulligan. In a relationship with Lafayette. Male, Pansexual. he/him.

GWashingturnt: George Washington. Married to Martha Washington. Male, Queer (has never specified), he/him.

mommamartha: Martha Washington. Married to George Washington. Female, Bisexual, she/her.

RedViVibes: Thomas Jefferson. In a relationship with James Madison. Male, Pansexual, he/him.

Jemmy_MadHatter/JemmyAndJams/JamesTheJem: James Madison. In a relationship with Thomas. Male, Bisexual, he/him.

KingOfAll: George Frederick. (aka King George iii). Single. Male, bisexual (mostly gay tho), he/him.

BonBonjour: Louis-Auguste Capet (aka Louis XVI of France aka the French king during the American Revolution). Single. Male, asexual, he/him.

Theodopesia: Theodosia Bartow Burr. Younger twin sister to Aaron Burr. Single. Demigirl, bisexual, she/her.

Mariatheliar: Maria Reynolds. In a relationship with Eliza, noteable high school sweetheart of Alexander. Female, bisexual, she/her.

DotDotDolley: Dolley Payne. Single. Female, gray-panromantic, she/her or they/them.

And finally

momma(Name): (Name) (Last Name). Single (for now). Gender non-conformative (for the sake of this fic), pansexual (for the sake of this fic), they/them (for the sake of this fic)

~~

TurtleneckSwtr renamed the groupchat!

what the fuck con 2016

momma(Name): YA’LL THERE ARE TWO PRO F E SS O R S HERE

TurtleneckSwtr: yo but the washingtons are cool

GWashingturnt: Mr. Laurens, please change the group chat name to something more appropriate.

TurtleneckSwtr: yo but martha washington is cool

Pegster: oH

AngletheAngel: someone hide jacky he’s gonna get plummeted by gwash

mommamartha: <333 @ possible son in law

Hamilsin: mA

mommamartha: Alex you’re like so gay so be quiet???

BettyBets: I am ½ of his signif other and i can agree to this

Hamilsin: eliZA

TurtleneckSwtr: <333 @ spiritual mum

GWashingturnt: Um you’re going to need my blessing soo

TurtleneckSwtr: <33333333333333333333333 @ Professor GWash

Pegster renamed the group chat!

honey nut queerios

momma(Name): accurate

Jemmys_LongDick: WHO KEEPS CHANGING MY USERNAME

RedViVibes: I can confirm this^

TurtleneckSwtr: THOMAS YOU MADE ALEX SPIT HIS FOOD OUT NOW HE CRYING LOOK WHAT YOU DID

Hunkcules: POOR BB

TurtleneckSwtr: ELIZA STOP LAUGHING AT HIM HE’S IN PAIN

BettyBets: IM cR YI NG

JemmyAndJams: THERE I CHANGED IT TELL HIM I CHANGED IT

RedViVibes: I liked the previous username

RedViVibes: can you change it tonight ;)

Hamilsin kicked RedViVibes out of the group chat!

Hamilsin: NO M O R E

JemmyAndJams: Alex, please

ItsCold: Alex, please.

Hamilsin: JEFFERSIN IS ON TIME OUT

AngeltheAngle: what did I miss

Pegster: d i s c o u r s e

AngeltheAngle: so like nothing unusual??

TurtleneckSwtr: Alex is crawling around our dorm and its weird

AngeltheAngle: like i said before nothing unusual??

ItsCold: Is anyone willing to have a small study meeting with me? It will be in the library two streets down, since SOME PEOPLE are kicked out of the school library for a month.

BettyBets: who is it this time

BettyBets: john i have faith in you

TurtleneckSwtr: well you see here

BettyBets: JOHN

Hamilsin: ITS ALL DR. FRANKLIN’S FAULT OKAY WE WERENT MAKING OUT

TurtleneckSwtr: we were making out

BettyBets: oH MY GOD

BettyBets: WITHOUT M E

Pegster: ew???

Hamilsin: IT WAS JUST A FEW KISSES HERE AND THERE

momma(Name): i was there and that was not the case

momma(Name): what made it worst was that they were in the mANGA SECTION

Rad_Baugette: OUR SCHOOL HAS A  M A N G A SECTIONMFDADBATdfbthsr

TurtleneckSwtr: I WAS THERE BECAUSE ALEX DRAGGED ME

Hamilsin: I JUST REALLY LOVE BLACK BUTLER OKAY

Mariahtheliar: guys i dont think eliza can breath because she is laughing too much

Mariahtheliar: she’s trying to text but the phone keeps falling out of her hand

BettyBets: oH M Y Getahg

Mariahtheliar: thanks guys

Hamilsin: Maria please take care of eliza she needs help

Mariahtheliar: naw its fun seeing her trying to text its pretty cute

Pegster: IM COMING ELIZA I HAVE RITZ CRACKERS AND (NAME)

momma(Name): im gonna eat all the crackers someone take them away from me my phone is all greasy now

ItsCold: I’ve been waiting for a response this whole time guys.

ItsCold: I don’t even know why I bother asking.

momma(Name): AARON DONT WORRY I WOULD LOVE TO GO

momma(Name): JUST FORCE THEO

Theodopesia: im here dont worry

TurtleneckSwtr: !!!

TurtleneckSwtr: Burr!! you!! did!! not!! tell!! us!! theo!! was!! back!!!

Theodopesia: We’ve been back for like two days now??

momma(Name): i mean im with Peggy rn so yeah the trip is kind of done and we’re back?? That explains??

ItsCold: I don’t text here often.

ItsCold: We still have a number of people in this chat who haven’t even opened it yet.

JemmyAndJams: Alex can you please add Thomas back in he won’t stop nagging me

JemmyAndJams: He has nothing better to do

TurtleneckSwtr: He’s writing rn I’ll do it

TurtleneckSwtr added RedViVibes to the group chat!

Hamilsin: when were you admin??

TurtleneckSwtr: I took your phone when you were watching Madoka Magica

Pegster: mmMRPH

AngeltheAngle: WH A T

Hamilsin: john.

Hamilsin: sweetie.

Hamilsin: why do you do this to me.

RedViVibes: WH AT

JemmyAndJams: thomas ive heard you singing the theme song to glitter force so shut the hell up??

Theodopesia: I look away from my phone and this is what pops up??

momma(Name): dont worry theo you’re too pure to be dragged

Theodopesia: <3

Pegster: YE E T

  • Server: Can I get you anything else sir?
  • Man: Yeah, I'll take a side of ham please.
  • Server: Um, sure.
  • **server returns in 5 minutes with a side of ham**
  • Server: Here you go. Anything else I can get for you?
  • Man: Yeah, can I get a side of ham please?
  • Server: Uh... ham? Sure... be right back.
  • **server returns in 5 minutes with a side of ham**
  • Server: One slice of ham. Anything else?
  • Man: Ya know, I'd love a side of ham.
  • Server: Sir?? This is the 14th slice of ham I have brought to you???
  • Man: Oh, I'm so sorry. I suffer from hamnesia.