ham and potato casserole

rewrote an old weight gain/stuffing fiction, done in the style of imagineyourfeedistotp  

Imagine your favorite character is out on a leisurely walk. On the way a tiny old house slowly comes into view and just as they were about to walk past the home the door caught their gaze; it hung wide open as if inviting them in. Curiosity got the better of them and they peered in to see a cozy living room full of thick cushioned couches and recliners. Despite the well condition and overall warm atmosphere, the lack of pictures or personal items indicated that no one lived there, or at least not for an extended period of time. 

The doorway matched the house in small size making it a tight fit to get in. The little living room lead into a similarly sized dining room, and it seemed the only thing that wasn’t small was the table. They couldn’t believe what met their eyes. Every inch of the table was taken up by multiple large dishes of food. There was roast, turkey, ham, casserole, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, stuffing and pies. It was as if all the holiday meals had been combined and set out on a single table. How in the world could someone make that much food and not even be in the house? It couldn’t be for a large family dinner either, there were too few chairs.

They had just walked in on a dream.

It couldn’t hurt to try some. A scoop of mashed potatoes would not be noticed from the hefty bowl they sat in. So they took a plate from the counter -figuring they would just clean it afterwards and put it back- and glanced around for any hint of other people but still found none. With the coast clear they plopped a decent scoopful of potatoes onto their plate, after all there was no such thing as bad mashed potatoes. Even so these managed perfection. The consistency was not too thin or thick, the texture wasn’t too gritty or pasty, and they were far from bland. With mashed potatoes this promising, and the rich sent the other dishes gave off, the whole table was bound to be food heaven.

Oh they really shouldn’t. There was too much work put into this feast to have someone come along uninvited and dig in. No, that was incredibly rude, not to mention it would leave evidence of breaking and entering. Although they didn’t break in; the door wasn’t even closed, much less locked. Honestly who leaves their door hanging wide open and expects everything, especially magnificent food, to be untouched? If not them flies or animals would have gotten into the food and what a shame that would have been.

They took a large portion of everything, their plate barely able to carry it all. Now to see how well their stomach would fare. They sat down in one of the wooden chairs and started with the roast first before alternating with the others. Everything exceed their expectations. Food in such a modest little home was worthy at the dinning table of a royal family.

With food that good they tried to savor it and make it last, but the intense flavors spiked their hunger and they ended up stuffing their face and swallowing barely chewed bites. Their stomach soon filled up, creating strain for their waistband. By the end of the plate their pants dug into their sides as the button struggled to keep fastened. Relenting to their gluttony and comfort they undid the button and zipper, allowing their belly to surge forward.

They should have stopped then but instead they gathered another plateful. Half way done and each bite became more difficult to swallow, but enamored by the taste they forced the rest of it down, rubbing their belly during the last few bites. Their belly bulged out further than they knew it could, having pushed up their shirt during its expansion. It was incredibly taut too; there was no way they could fit anymore food without bursting like a balloon filled with too much air.

They would have remained leaned back in the chair but the recliner in the living room seemed so much more comfortable now with a huge meal weighing them down, so they heaved themself up from the chair and waddled into the living room, taking precautions as to not upset their stomach. They sank into the recliner and leaned back.

They had eaten themself into a food coma, that along with the warmth of the house eased them into sleep. After dozing for a few hours they found their stomach to be much less uncomfortably full, although not without some squishy fat taking the food’s place. At least now they could button their pants, even if their soft flesh protruded over the waistband more than previously.

They should head home, people were probably wondering where they were, and if they hadn’t been found by now they surely would be if they stayed any longer. But just as they were about to leave they caught a glimpse of the dining room. No longer did a feast take up the table, rather breakfast did. No, they really should head home. Though an extended break would be nice, they needed some more time to indulge themself, besides no one left evidence that they were angry about the food being eaten as they had left more out in the open the same way. Not to mention it had been a while since they enjoyed a breakfast worthy of being called breakfast.

They sat themself at the table again with a clean plate. The table was an all day breakfast restaurant, with pancakes, french toast, waffles, bacon, sausages, eggs, hash browns, grits, biscuits, and gravy. Like last time they couldn’t help but have some of everything, piling food onto their plate until it could hold no more. With an empty stomach growling for food they dug in, this time not even trying to savor the flavor. It took less time this go around for their waistband to become unbearable, and they undid their pants with a sigh as their belly fell into their lap, jiggling as it did so. They went for seconds, filling their stomach into throbbing tightness. Once more they leaned back and massaged their engorged gut.

The recliner was put into use for another time and they quickly fell asleep under the aid of a stomach filled to the brim with warm food. They woke, vaguely aware that their situation wasn’t a dream as they sat leaned back in the recliner. They were in the same cozy little house with extra pudge around their torso. This time fastening their pants their belly spilled over the waistband and peeked out from a tight shirt. If they weren’t chubby before they certainly were now.

Being constantly full of food and sleeping was such a relieving change of pace from the normal day to day routine. Their worries had been sent off and replaced with an abundance of food, what could be better?

Like they expected the table was stacked with mass amounts of food, different from the last time, but no less appetizing. They sat down in their usual chair, but as their abdomen compressed and their belly was forced outwards their pants gave in and the button snapped off, letting their soft gut loose to flood forwards. They didn’t give it much thought other than reckoning that buttoning their pants would be one less thing to worry about.

They piled a portion of everything onto their plate and quickly downed it, finding it didn’t fill them up as much as a whole plateful would normally. After stuffing themself repetitively their stomach must have expanded and was now expecting and craving that same amount of food. A second plate gone and their belly was well rounded, bloated with food and padded with fat, yet as full as it was, it wasn’t uncomfortably full; they could manage to gorge themself on one more plates worth. Gorge themself they did. They groaned and rubbed their belly as they forced down the last bits from the third plate. Somehow even just a spoonful was too much. Their skin was stretched and pulled tight over their stomach; it was a wonder they didn’t rupture.

They struggled to get up from the chair without puking and placed a hand underneath their distended belly as they slowly made their way to the recliner. Their stomach ached terribly but they were soon taken over by a food coma and slept it off. The ache they slept off but definitely not the weight. They woke up to love handles spilling over their waistband and a large soft belly having cascaded into and overtaken their lap, their belly button long gone. Even permanently unbuttoned their pants antagonized them, suffocating their thighs like sausages despite being ripped at the seams. Their shirt could now only serve as a crop top, a skin tight crop top at that.

Perhaps they should head home before they ended up completely indecent. But upon reaching the exit they found that their abdomen had grown wider than the doorway. It had been a tight fit in. It seemed there was no way out, as there was no back door and windows were out of the question.

Being stuck there wasn’t too bad though, far from bad really. Unlimited food, no responsibilities, invite a few friends over and it would be a utopia. A utopia where everyone would be fat and happy.

Thanksgiving Feedings

You arrived at Thanksgiving dinner with friends wearing your “loose pants”. They still cut into your fat rolls, but offered some room before constricting your massive belly. Having recently gained 20 pounds you were feeling hotter than ever and couldn’t wait to get fatter. You sat down and helped yourself to chips & guacamole, candy, cheese & crackers, and so much more. You were such a piggy and today was going to be an epic feeding.

As the party moved to dinner, you heaped your plate with turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, biscuits, and casserole. This was going to be the first of many plates, but the more you put on the less you would have to get up. Your friends noticed that you were plowing through the plates when you sat down with your third. You mentioned something about not having breakfast and kept stuffing your face. You ended up eating about 8 plates before feeling full. Your belly was taut and it was hard to breathe. Perfect.

You moved over to the couch and unbuttoned your top 2 buttons …. uggghhh your belly pushed forward. You sat and enjoyed feeling so full. One of your friends asked if you wanted pie, and of course you said yes. Apple pie with vanilla ice cream. Yum. This got you excited, and it seems you found a second wind. Plate after plate, you enjoyed pecan pie, pumpkin pie, Cheesecake, Cinnabuns, ice cream, whipped cream, heavy cream and hand fulls of candy.

You were sooooo stuffed now! Your pants stayed unbutton and you went to lay down on the couch. Sitting up was too difficult. You were beyond stuffed and needed to relax and rub your belly. You watched part of a movie with the group and then drifted in and out of sleep.

When the movie was over, you hoisted yourself up and said your goodbyes. You left with 2 huge bags and leftovers and couldn’t wait to get home and eat them! You left, and stopped by McDonalds for a snack. Arriving home you took all your clothes off, turned on Netflix and ate, and ate, and ate. As you started to play with yourself and all your fat rolls you couldn’t believe how big you were getting and how much you had eaten. In between jiggles you couldn’t help but think that this was a wonderful Thanksgiving!

anonymous asked:

Hi...i'm kind of sad right now...Just read a fanfic where Richie cheats on Eddie with Stan. Can you believe that? My heart is breaking, I need some fluff to put the pieces back together. Help me please!!! Even If you can't write anything right now, just tell me the reasons why you love this ship and why Richie and Eddie belong together and would never hurt eachother

Honeyyyyyy! I’m going to tell you what I told my Tumblr soulmate just yesterday who did the same thing, we scroll past cheating reddie and reddie that somehow turns into another ship because it only brings us pain!! Not that other ships aren’t wonderful but come on y’all, don’t do that to yourselves.

And I’m cranking this out for you and @sammy8675309 as reddie nourishment with a little Stanlon because I feel like it.

Also on Archive of Our Own

Snippet:
“Eddie, you seriously need to sit down and chill or I am going to stuff this ornament up your ass.” Beverly huffed out.

“It’s ok, Bev. He’s just being Eddie.” Ben said carefully taking the icicle ornament away from her.

“Sorry! I just want it to be perfect.” Eddie said quickly. He went over to the table and grabbed a candy cane offering for Beverly. She took it without malice, mostly because she loves candy almost as much as Richie.

“He’s going to love it, Eddie.” Bill said reassuringly.

“I fucking hope so.” Eddie breathed out slowly.


A Christmas Tradition

Eddie was freaking out. Well, Eddie was always freaking out but right now he was REALLY FREAKING OUT!

Christmas was two days away and he had zero gifts for Richie. He managed to get something special for all the other losers: Bill was getting a watercolor set; he got Beverly a charm that said “Loser Club President” to go on her necklace; Stanley would receive an engraved leather bound journal; he got a recipe book for Mike; and Ben would get a sweater Eddie made.

Keep reading

Thanksgiving fantasy

Tomorrow is thanksgiving! Bread, pies, mash potatoes and gravy, turkey, stuffing , ham, green bean casserole. 💕 I get so excited. 👏🏻👏🏻I just want to eat EVERYTHING. Just pick up the table and put it all in my mouth and swallow it whole. 👅Forgot about forks and spoons 😍😍😍😘😘 anyone else feel this excitement?

Nope, just me. That’s fine. I like eating all the food without sharing anyways😏💁🏻

10

This was our first Thanksgiving alone and I enjoyed the time with just us. All 3 kids slept in this morning and then Peyton and Logan climbed in bed with us. We started our turkey and then got dressed and went to McDonald’s for breakfast. We drove to the park and let the kids play while I fed and held Nolan and watched from the truck. We came home and started on our dinner. Wyatt did most of the work. He made ham, turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy. I made the stuffing and green bean casserole. We bought homemade pies yesterday from the pie shop. After dinner, even though it was late, we all took naps. We woke up and Wyatt took the kids (AND Nolan) to run off some energy. Super dad. I’m at home and it’s completely silent, I kind of don’t know what to do with myself.

Derek- Do It Again

Request-  2 with Derek, please?😙

A/N- Prompt 2 from the Holiday Prompt List! Can someone please give me Derek Hale for Christmas???

You hit the mat on the floor with a grunt, just barely catching yourself on your palms before your cheek hit the soft surface. You blew a strand of sweaty hair out of your face in frustration, but before you could push yourself up, a hand stuck itself in front of your face.
“Need some help?”
“Not from you,” you said smoothly, pushing yourself to your feet despite your aching limbs.
Derek smirked as you planted your feet on the mat again. “We could always just call it a day. You know, end training early? Consider it an early Christmas present from me.”
You rolled your eyes. “You wish, Hale.”
“Alright then,” he said. “Show me what you got.”
You smiled and swung out with a fist, but Derek quickly ducked out of reach. You swung again, and this time he caught your arm. He smirked in triumph, but before he could make some smartass remark, you kicked up with your leg and hit him right in the face.
He recoiled in shock, and before he could brace himself, you were slamming into him and taking him to the ground. He landed on the mat with a breathless oof, but he quickly began to laugh. You rolled off of him, and Derek sighed.
“You know, I honestly wasn’t expecting you to kick me in the face,” he breathed. “You’re getting good at this.”
“Well, I’ve had a pretty good teacher,” you told him wryly, jumping up and grabbing your water bottle. “Besides, I have no idea why I didn’t ask you to teach me this sooner.”
“I’m glad you did it,” he admitted. “I’d like to always be there to protect you. It’s kind of my job, but I know that’s not always possible.”
“Why is it your job?” you asked with raised eyebrows.
“I’m your best friend,” he stated with a shrug.
“Huh,” you said. “Yeah, I guess you are.”
“What, you’re surprised?” he asked you.
You smiled. “Just that you’d actually admit it.”
Derek opened his mouth to say something else, but the ringing of your phone cut him off. You walked over and grabbed it from your bag, and when you realized who it was, you sighed reluctantly.
“Hi, Mom,” you answered. “I’m kind of in the middle of something right now, is it okay if I just-oh, ok. Okay, go ahead.”
Derek watched you with a smile on his face. He knew your family could be more than a little overbearing, but they did really care about you. They just had a tendency to take things too far, especially when it came to the holidays, or even worse, dating.
“Yes, Mom,” you said, rolling your eyes at Derek. “I’m coming to Christmas Eve dinner. Yes, I promise.”
Derek watched as your face suddenly took on an expression of exasperation. “Mom, I told you, if I wanted to bring a date, I’d let you know…no, no, I wouldn’t not bring them because of you. That’s crazy.”
Derek laughed softly and you shot him a dirty look, but then you suddenly tilted your head in annoyance. “Uh, how do you know I’m not dating someone? Maybe I just don’t want to bring them around for the Dinner From Hell.”
You glanced over at Derek once more and met his eyes, and that was when he realized what you were thinking. He had been your best friend for years, and he knew that you were hatching a plan just by the glint in your eyes. He shook his head firmly, knowing that it most certainly involved him.
“You know what?” you said into the phone. “I am bringing someone to dinner…yes, living, breathing and everything, I swear…alright. Bye, Mom. Love you too.”
“No way,” Derek stated when you hung up the phone.
“Derek,” you whined. “Come on.”
“No,” he repeated, shaking his head. “You might be my best friend, but I’m not coming to dinner with your family.”
“Please,” you begged. “Please, Derek. I can’t do another year of ‘Oh, Y/n, where’s your boyfriend? You never bring anyone to meet us. Do you really hate us that much?’”
“You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?” he questioned.
“Why not?” you asked with a sigh. “You know me better than anyone else. Come on, Sourwolf. I’ll owe you.”
Derek frowned. There was a part of him that desperately wanted to say yes, just to be able to have you on his arm. Derek’s feelings for you might have been a lot loss friendly than you thought, but he was too stubborn to admit that. He didn’t want to ruin things while they were still working for him, and he wanted to enjoy being with you before you decided he was too much of a burden and ran, right along with everyone else.
He was terrified that if he admitted how he felt, he’d ruin what you had together, which was one solid friendship. He knew that you would probably never amount to much more, but he could always dream. Maybe that was why, as you looked at him with those pleading eyes he had never been able to say no to, he finally relented.
“Fine,” he said gruffly. “But if it starts to get crazy, we’re leaving…for both our sakes.”
“Agreed,” you breathed, running up to him and throwing your arms around his sweaty neck. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! God, you really are man’s best friend.”
“I’m a wolf,” he stated, glaring at you. “Not a dog.”
“You’re still cuddly though,” you told him, not at all phased by his scowl as you poked him in the chest.
“Do you want me to slam you onto this mat?” he asked, although his lips were twitching into a smile.
“Maybe,” you said with a grin. “Wanna go for round two?”
Derek smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Derek stated as you hopped out of his car.
“What?” you asked, blinking. “I didn’t say anything.”
He gave you a one-shouldered shrug. “You didn’t have to. I can just tell.”
You sighed and shut the passenger door. “Well it’s not that easy. Every year it’s just this endless buffet of honey ham, sweet potato casserole, and criticism.”
Derek chuckled softly. “I think we can handle it.”
Your expression softened. “We?”
He nodded. “You’re not alone this year. And I promise, I’m not just going to leave you here on your own.”
You shot him a skeptical look. “No matter how awful it gets?”
“No matter how awful it gets,” he swore. “Just remember, you owe me.”
“I do,” you agreed. “Now let’s get this over with.”
You started to head toward the front door of your aunt’s house, but Derek called out to you. “Where do you think you’re going?”
You raised your eyebrows at him, but he simply walked over and wrapped his hand around yours. “We’re dating, remember?”
You flushed slightly, but it had nothing to do with embarrassment. “Right.”
You walked up to the door, hand in hand as Derek muttered to you about the awful Christmas decor he could see through the window.
“Trust me,” you said. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”
You reached up to ring the doorbell, but before you could even touch it, the door swung open before you. “Sweetheart!”
Your eyes widened as your mom reached out to bring you into her arms. She squeezed you tighter than you thought she was capable of, yanking you so close that your hand was tugged out of Derek’s.
“Hi, Mom,” you groaned. “You can let me go now.”
You didn’t need to tell her twice, because she had suddenly taken that moment to notice Derek standing on the porch. You were immediately forgotten, and she shoved you away to take all of your date in.
“Y/n,” she scolded. “You didn’t tell me you and Derek were dating. I thought you two were just friends.”
“Well, we’re not,” you stated plainly.
She crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows like she didn’t believe you, but Derek was quick to wrap a warm arm around your waist.
“We were,” he told her brightly. “But Y/n’s just been so much more to me than that. I don’t know where I’d be without her.”
You mother placed her hand over her chest and flashed you a wobbly smile. “Y/n, that’s so wonderful! Why haven’t you told me?!”
“I, uh, I guess I just wanted to keep him all to myself,” you breathed, hoping you sounded convincing.
Derek laughed good-naturedly, something that you were definitely going to make fun of him for later. Your mom looked like she was about to cry, and you didn’t really want her to grill you about your fake relationship on the porch, so you quickly gestured into the front hall.
“Maybe we should come inside and tell you all about it,” you suggested.
“Yes!” she squealed. “Come on in, you two lovebirds. I have to tell your aunt!”
She rushed into the living room ahead of you and Derek, leaving you to softly shut the front door behind you. You were now alone in the hall for a few seconds, and you turned to him with a mortified look. Derek simply grinned and placed his arm around your shoulders.
“Come on, Lovebird,” he said with a smirk, leading you into the living room.

“So, Derek,” your aunt began from across the table. “How did you and Y/n meet?”
“Well, we met in the vet’s office,” Derek explained. “She was working with Dr. Deaton and I…was taking my sister’s dog in for a checkup.”
You suppressed a laugh at Derek’s hesitance to tell the story. It wasn’t a total lie, because you had met him in Deaton’s office, but that experience was a lot more hostile than your family could ever know. You remembered how, in desperation to find the Alpha, Derek had bound Deaton to a chair in the exam room and tried to get him to admit that he knew something about the supernatural.
You hadn’t known about it until that moment, but after you had walked in on it, he had knocked you unconscious. You woke up in an empty office hours later, only to have Deaton come back the next day and act like nothing had happened. You begged him to tell you what was going on, insisting that you had worked for him for years and that he could trust you, and he finally agreed.
You were a little pissed at Derek for tying up your boss and knocking you unconscious, but as time went on and you figured out Scott was a werewolf too, you knew you would need him eventually. Derek had gone to you and Deaton for help more times than you could count, and more times than he would ever admit to Scott. Because of this, your friendship bloomed, and so did Derek’s feelings for you.
“That’s right,” you said. “Remind me again what that dog’s name was?”
Derek glanced over at you, his lips twitching. “Scott. It was Scott.”
“Right,” you said with a small smile. “I remember now. And as I recall, you were very distraught.”
Derek swallowed. “I was.”
“The dog had a broken leg,” you lied, glancing around the table. “It had gotten out of the yard and gotten hit by a car, and Derek was so upset. He even cried. I had to comfort him, and that’s how we started talking.”
“And I just had to see you again,” Derek said, a slight edge to his voice. “No matter how bad at comforting me you were.”
A chorus of “Aw”s echoed from around the table,  and you reached out to place your hand on Derek’s, which was resting on the tablecloth.
“You two are such a cute couple!” your aunt exclaimed. “But I can’t help but wonder-”
“Auntie-” you began, eyeing her suspiciously.
“I haven’t even seen you two kiss!” she cried. “I mean, you sound very affectionate-”
“This isn’t a show,” you protested. “I’m not just going to kiss my…my boyfriend to prove a point.”
“Well, I don’t see the harm,” your mother interjected. “It’s just, you’ve never really brought a man over. I mean, you have to understand, Derek, we thought she liked girls for the longest ti-”
“Mom!” you cried.
“What?” she fired back.
You turned back to Derek to apologize, maybe even to grab his arm and head to leave, but he quickly reached out and placed his hand on your cheek. Your eyes widened, and you don’t know if you would have protested, just that Derek didn’t give you any time to. He was leaning into you and fiercely pressing his lips against yours, his tongue moving past your lips to mingle with yours. You knew this was crossing a line, but your family had wanted a show, hadn’t they?
You melted against him, feeling more content than you had all night, quickly forgetting that Derek was supposed to be your best friend. When he finally pulled away, someone coughed awkwardly, although you couldn’t tell who, because your eyes were locked on Derek’s.
You suddenly realized that the way Derek had kissed you wasn’t the way one friend would kiss another, no matter what you were pretending to be. You might not have had his super senses, but you could still pick up on a lot, especially when it came to Derek. Shock coursed through you at this thought, and you quickly pushed your chair away from the table.
It screeched painfully on the wood floor, but you paid no mind as you rushed to the front door. You sucked in a sharp breath and threw open the door, searching for solace on the empty front porch.
“Y/n,” Derek called, quickly following behind you. “Look, I didn’t mean…”
“Didn’t mean what?” you questioned. “Didn’t mean to kiss me like that?”
“Look, I thought I was helping-”
“Oh, you helped,” you stated. “I think my mom thinks we’re going to give her grandchildren now.”
“Just let me explain,” he begged.
“Why did you agree to this?” you asked him. “Was it really because you wanted to help me?”
“Of course,” he told you. “You’re my best friend.”
“And?”
He huffed. “And maybe I wanted to pretend to be your boyfriend…but I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. That was overstepping it. I won’t do anything like that again, I swear-”
“No,” you cut him off suddenly.
“What?”
“No,” you said firmly. “I never said I didn’t want you to do it again.”
“You mean-?”
“I love you,” you stated. “I’ve loved you since you gave up being an alpha to save Cora. Maybe even before that. I’m not exactly sure, but I do know that what you did in there…I want you to do it again.”
Derek smiled and yanked you closer, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you just as fiercely as he had in the dining room. He might have been terrified that admitting his feelings would cost him your friendship, but he had been entirely wrong. Derek didn’t even have to say anything for you to figure out how he felt. You would have found out eventually, but if he was being honest, he was glad it had happened this way.
Your family members hooted and whistled through the windows as you and Derek kissed on the porch, but they were the farthest thing from your mind. You were finally with your best friend in the one way you truly wanted to be, and no one, not even your wild family, could ruin that moment.

anonymous asked:

I absolutely love your writing! Anyway you can write some Zimbits Thanksgiving headcannons?

Thank you so much lovely! Thanksgiving Headcanons coming right up!

  • BITTY. BAKES. PIE.
  • No, you don’t understand, he bakes everyone two pies each.
  • TWO PIES EACH BECAUSE HE IS A PROVIDER OKAY HE WILL TAKE CARE OF THIS HOCKEY FAMILY
  • Jack brings the Falconers over because of course he does
  • He forgets to let Bitty know
  • Bitty cries 
  • But then Tater steps up like “zimmboni you are terrible boyfriend I will step up as boyfriend tell me where food go Bitty Boy we cannot let you do all this yourself”
  • And Jack is like “im so screwed and goes on all the food runs to grab more stuff since Bitty didn’t prepare to feed TWO hockey teams
  • Also feeding TWO hockey teams is expensive OMG jack
  • Ransom follows Tater around like a lil duckling
  • Holster snapchats the whole experience because Ransom’s crush-that-he-won’t-admit-to-being-a-crush is amazing to watch
  • Marty and Thirdy bring pictures of their kids upon Jack’s request because Bitty is still vying for that Falconers’ Babysitter Job
  • Snowy and Chowder exchange Goalie talk
  • Chowder still remains pure despite being assaulted by curses every five seconds
  • Guy turns out to be a wizard in the kitchen
  • Which Bitty is making pies and sides, Guy is in charge of the protein
  • They have two turkeys, a ham, and meatloaves 
  • Shitty shows up in time to get half a turkey leg and a slice of meatloaf
  • Lardo laughs at him while she devours her whole turkey leg and three beers in record time
  • Poots shows up with a cooler full of…something
  • Shitty takes on sip of the cooler drink and promptly gets wasted
  • It’s Long Island Ice Tea that’s somehow been masterfully created with Everclear
  • Lardo gets through a cup before she gives up
  • Poots silently asserts his dominance over the Samwell team while Jack and Bitty chat with Tater and Guy in the kitchen
  • Once everyone is passed out, Tater walks around with his phone to take snapchat and instagram stories for the Falconers’ social media.
  • “Best Friendsgiving”

There are no leftovers. Nothing is left. The Samwell team and the Falconers eat the entire Thanksgiving meal of over 30 pies, two turkeys, a ham, multiple meatloaves, two bowls of mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, three different kinds of stuffing, jalapeno cornbread, fried okra, deviled eggs, honey buttermilk biscuits, the best gravy, pimento macaroni and cheese, collards, cranberry sauce, classic southern ice tea, and Poot’s Long Island.

#BestFriendsgivingEver

FAHC- Christmas

FAHC- Christmas

  • These assholes go nuts for Christmas, they love it
    • Ray likes to pretend that he’s Jewish (he’s not) to irritate the rest of them. He has three Hanukkah sweaters. 
  • One time, in order to deck out the penthouse, Geoff literally bought an entire store to show off to get enough decorations. It looked like the entire North Pole had thrown up in there. They loved it. 
  • If you think that there’s not mistletoe up the asshole in that place, think again. Platonic kisses constantly (and let’s be real all the shippy-mistletoe headcanons you could want but that’s a whole different post)
  • they get the biggest damn tree that they can find every year. It takes a few hours to decorate completely, with everything from fancy ornaments to bullet casings
    • Gavin always puts up the custom-made Nice Dynamite ornament Michael got him for Christmas one year
  • Jack, as mentioned in my other post, gets a new shitty Christmas sweater (she loves them) from Michael every year. 
    • ((this year’s may or may not have been the Hotline Bling one))
  • They’ve got this big golden star-shaped tree-topper, and every year they try to alternate who gets to put it on top of the tree. I say try because every year they have to do whatever they can to stop Gavin from putting the star up first, purely to be a little shit.
  • They always, of course, get each other gifts, but some years they like to add in Secret Santa, too, a few days before Christmas. This, obviously, results in mayhem, especially when you have Gavin or Michael buying gifts for the other (”sure, I have to be nice at Christmas, but it’s not technically Christmas yet, so”), or whenever Gavin is Geoff’s Secret Santa.
  • One year, overnight, six knitted stockings appeared over the fireplace. Each Crew member’s names (Geoff, Gavin, Jack, Michael, Ryan, and Ray) was embroidered at the top, and the stockings alternated colors (green for the Gents, red for the Lads). No one knew where they came from for roughly 14 hours, before they all realized that it had to be Ryan
    • “What, you didn’t think all my hobbies were murder-related, did you?” he says, to a forceful “yes” from literally everyone else in the room
  • they sing. All. The. Time. Christmas singing begins the second that Thanksgiving ends, and it doesn’t stop until Christmas is over. Some big hits included “All I want for Christmas is (Dicks)”, “O Holy (Dicks)”, and “Silent Night”. They aren’t allowed to sing or play the so-called “Dead Mom and Shoes song”, because it makes Geoff cry. 
  • Ryan and Jack are the only two that aren’t complete shit at wrapping, so most presents small enough to fit into the penthouse are in bags or otherwise creatively disguised.
  • some more memorable gifts include a tank for Michael (from Geoff), a literal truckload of yarn for Ryan (from a very smug Ray), and a certain type of tea only made where Gavin grew up, that reminds him of home anytime he’s missing it (from Jack)
  • No heists on Christmas. No robberies, no messing with anyone else on Christmas. 
  • Christmas dinner goes about as big as it can; ham and potatoes and gravy and booze and casseroles and anything and everything you can imagine. It takes all six of them a couple days to gather and make everything. There’s always at least one food fight on Christmas Eve. 
  • at the end of the day, stuffed full, having watched some of their old videos (courtesy of Jack, ((in my other post)), they sit. And they talk, and talk, and laugh, and drink. And Ray gets off his DS, and Gavin calms down, and Michael doesn’t yell, and Ryan goes maskless. And it’s nice. 

((literally I have so many headcanons for these assholes if you ever want more hmu))

OH BOY TIME FOR THE ANNUAL “GET CRACKIN AT THE CRACK OF DAWN” COOKING SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I gotta start cooking at hnnnnnnn 4am this year to get it all done before dinnertime but I believe in me

i gotta make 

- ham

- turkey

- mashed potato

- deviled eggs

- asparagus casserole

- green bean casserole

- mixed greens

- sweet potatoes

- gravy

- oven macaroni

- pie

- squash w/ onions

- cranberry sauce 

it’s gonna be good this year boi 

You couldn’t sleep the night before. You wanted this Easter dinner to be perfect. It only took you a week to make the perfect menu. Then you went to three stores. You were exhausted before you even start cooking. Because of your job you didn’t actually get to spend Easter with your boyfriend. So he was flying back home this weekend to see you. You wanted the whole experience. So you boiled the eggs and had them ready to dye and decorate. You made Chris an Easter basket. Then had a wonderful dinner planned. Chris’s plane landed at 8 am and was getting a car to come to your house. Meaning to be awake when he showed up. You slept right thru your alarm clock. The house was totally peaceful when Chris let himself in. Putting down his bag. He notices the picture on the bookcase of you two. Touching your face he hurried upstairs to find you. Looking in the bedroom and seeing you asleep on the bed. Made his heart beat a little faster. He still got the same butterflies he got the day he meets you. “It’s not nice to stare.” You said to smile at Chris “You shouldn’t look so sweet then.” He said climbing in bed with you. Laughing at he started kissing you all over your face. “I’m sorry I was asleep.” You said watching him as he started taking his shoes off. “I’d rather meet you in bed.” He said getting back in bed with you. After a morning of lovemaking. You both feel asleep. Waking up an hour later. You slowly got out of bed and took a quick shower. Checking on him one more time you went to the kitchen to start dinner. Chris was woken up with the smell of ham and sweet potato casserole coming thru the house. You heard the shower turn on and knew Chris would be down shortly. “It smells delicious babe.” He said walking into the kitchen and hugging you. “I hope you like it.” You said a little worried “I love it.” “While it’s cooking. I got you something.” You said taking his hand and walking into the dining room. On the table was a huge Easter basket full of stuff from his favorite football team, candy, and little stuff you had found that remind you of him. The smile on his face was worth all the work you went thru. “You ready for yours?” He said reaching into his bag. “Have a seat Y/N.” He said to you. He placed in front of you a huge pink basket. It was filled with gift cards to a bookstore, one to buy books on your kindle. Your favorite candy. Then you noticed the baby blue plastics Easter egg. Opening it a beautiful diamond ring was inside. Being in total shock you looked at Chris to find him on his knee. “Chris.” “Y/N will you marry me?” He said taking the ring “Yes.” You said thru the tears Putting the ring on your finger. He leaned up to kiss you. “I love you.” “I love you to Mrs. Evans.”

anonymous asked:

Hello dear! I was wondering if I could request some comfort food recipes for Kanga from Winnie the Pooh? Maybe some dessert recipes? Thank you if you do!

Hey anon! Sure thing! I got several comfort food recipes - although you know that depends on what your idea of comfort food is of course so I hope what I found fits the bill - and several comforting desserts along the way! :D

Ta-da~! Hope you like it anon! If not feel free to come back and request something else and/or some more stuffs in the same category! Cheers <3

lizwillstealyourgirl  asked:

do you guys stuff your faces with leftovers the day after thanksgiving or is that just me????? it’s 9:45am and my breakfast is cauliflower , corn , and spinach casseroles with stuffing, cranberry jam, ham and mashed potatoes. a healthy breakfast!!

Girl what are leftovers?! Honestly, the only person who doesn’t eat like a horse in this household is Ben, and that’s only because he’s a calorie counter now. Even Stan, Eddie and Bev are big eaters. Food does not last long in our kitchen.

- Mike :)