i just really wanted a ham screen lock

now available on redbubble!!

Hamilton on Chopped
  • Alex: I really should've added more paprika... no, that's too much now... but is it, though? I think it needs mor-sHIT IT ALL CAME OUT FUCK fuck no it's supposed to look like that yeah
  • John: Is that a turtle in the basket? Cause I'm not cookin a fuckin turtle, shit *pockets turtle, glances over to shoulder to evade producers* cmon joseph let's get outta here little pal
  • Hercules: *running by with a vat of bubbling oil* AHHHHHHHHH
  • Lafayette: Ah mon dieu, the smell of freshly baked garlic bread is more glorious than American independence and my ass in spandex
  • Burr: I'm using turnip in this casserole because it's time to- *glances at hand, squints* turn... up! Turn up! Oh, I get it, cause... yeah, John told me to fuckin say that.
  • James: Now, I remember my grandmother used to tell me two onions in a soup, not one, because despite the breath issue onions are very good for the immune system and taste splendid in a nice, homecooked southern me
  • Thomas: *twerks while stirring* mAC AND CHEESE with VaNiLlA IcE cReAm BITCHES!!!1!!1!
  • Washington: *visibly ill* None of you can cook why are you here