Summary: You’re trying to draw but Sirius really wants a kiss.
Word Count: 1,091
Pairing: Sirius x Reader
Requested by My Writer’s Block (ugh)
Sirius’s right hand rests on your hip, fingertips lightly digging into your skin as you hold the sketchbook in front of you. The two of you take up an entire couch in the Gryffindor common room, earning you the glare of more than one other student over the afternoon. Sirius’s cocked eyebrow and innate charm sent them all scurrying away.
Or maybe it was his implied threat of blackmailing them. You don’t really care. They’re gone, leaving the two of you alone in the common room. That’s all that matters.
The open window lets a lazy breeze in, one that leaves light goosebumps on your arms that Sirius chases away with a soft touch, running his hand up and down your arm.
“Have you almost finished?” He asks, letting his hand wander down the side of your thigh.
You bite your lip, squinting at the intricate swirls on the bookcase across the room. “Not yet, love. And quit moving your hand. It was fine where it was.”
“Come on,” He whines, but he moves his hand back onto your hip.
“Just a little bit more.” You say, words slow as you focus on the sketch.
Sirius sighs, head falling onto the pillow he’s clutching with his left hand.
Sterek AU – How To Get Away With Murder ↳ in which Derek only uses Stiles to succeed in law school (or so they both thought)
I don’t do boyfriends.
The words are stuck on repeat inside Derek’s head even as he stops outside Stiles’ door, has been ever since he said them out loud hours before. It’s true–truer than most things that slips out of him these days–and yet it feels like he wasn’t just trying to convince Lydia, but also himself.
Which is ridiculous, because if there’s one thing he knows about himself, it’s that he can’t do relationships. Not since– No; he’s not built for that. He knows how to use his body, how to manipulate people. Someone made sure of teaching him that.
Derek knocks his knuckles on the door and hears Stiles’ steps on the other side, and suddenly his heart is in his throat and he thinks shit just as the door swings open.
“No,” Stiles says as soon as the gap is wide enough to reveal what’s behind the door, sounding as if Derek must be out of his mind. “I don’t care what your boss needs.”
It’s not what he says that necessarily surprises Aaron, but Robert hasn’t spoken in an hour, he presumed he had fallen asleep long ago. It’s late, Aaron’s alarm clock glaring brightly out of the corner of his eye, “02:14am”, they should be asleep, but it’s warm. The air sticky and heated, leaving a sheen of sweat on their skin, nobody in the village has gotten used to the humid air that August brings.
Aaron rolls over onto his side, kicking the duvet further down the bed, and pushes his hair further up his forehead, grimaces at the slightly wet feeling on his neck as he shifts to face his husband. Robert’s barely dressed, a grey pair of Aaron’s boxers and nothing else, lying flat on his back, eyes glazing over as he stares at the ceiling. Theres droplets of sweat on his chest, his skin red and flushed as he huffs out a puff of air from his lips. There’s grey circles underneath his eyes, a ghastly contrast to his pale skin.
“What are you on about?”
“I think you’re my only friend. How sad is that? I’m thirty one years old, and my only friend is my husband.”
He’s got that ‘sorry for himself’ look on his face, one that makes Aaron want to chuckle, tell him to shut up, and roll back over to sleep. But theres a sincerity in his voice that makes Aaron pause, a vulnerability he rarely sees in Robert. The small wrinkle in-between his eyes, a frown on his face as he blinks slowly, and all Aaron want’s to do is pull him into his arms, squeeze him tight and pepper kisses on his forehead. He would, but it’s too hot, so he settles with resting a palm on Robert’s chest, rubbing his thumb in circular motions, hoping the contact will help to settle him.
“What makes you say that?” he tries his best to keep his voice light, doesn’t want to break them out of this spell that they’ve found themselves in, and god forbid if Liv was awoken at this time.
They’d had a good day, or so Aaron had thought. Leyla had cornered them in the pub, demanding that they take her up on her offer to help plan their second wedding. They’d have said no, but her grin was too inviting. That’s where they found themselves that day, looking through venues and flower arrangements; Robert almost called of the entire thing when Aaron said “theres no point in centre pieces, Robert.”
“It’s true. Who am i supposed to take on my stag do? My closest friend in this village is Nicola, and that’s saying something, considering she hates me most of the time.” He’s looking at Aaron now, neck pulled tight as he pushes his head further into the cushion.
“I’ll have my stag with Vic and Diane, how cool is that? Dinner at the B&B with the only remaining family I have, whilst my husband is getting pissed in town, not pathetic at all is it?.”
It takes all of Aaron’s dwindling energy not to roll his eyes at his husband’s theatrics, the reason for Robert’s sour mood piecing together in his head. They’d met Adam in the pub earlier, the pair of them immediately beginning to make plan’s for Aaron’s stag, as Robert sat on the sidelines, laughing as Adam uttered the words “foam party”, a pale look appearing on Aaron’s face.
Aaron decides to risk it, fuck the heat, and shuffles closer to Robert. Hand reaching up to Robert’s neck, grasping tight as he kisses Robert gently.
“Maybe if you hadn’t have slept with nearly everyone in the village, more people would want to be friends with you.” They’re not kissing, Aaron keeping his lips close to Robert’s, breath warm on his skin.
“Aaron.” His voice is whiny as he tries to kiss Aaron again, lifting his head off the pillow and arms slowly reaching around Aaron’s waist, slotting into place.
“Stop feeling so sorry for yourself. You can come on my stag, it’s not like it’s our first wedding. We can get pissed together.”
“Because that’s not pathetic is it? Tagging along on your husband’s bachelor party?”
“There’s a lot of pathetic things about you Rob. Now shut up, and let your best friend kiss you.”
[A/N: The aftermath of that scene, smuttiness because we all needed it, this is only my second Bughead fic so I’m still finding their voices a little so please bear with me! The song used below is the song from that very scene, it only seemed right. Only briefly proof-read but I will probably go back sometime later tonight and fix any errors I’ve missed, hopefully not too many but I did make the decision to swap tenses halfway through writing this.]
I was broken from a young age Taking my sulking to the masses Writing my poems for the few That looked at me, took to me, shook to me, feeling me Singing from heartache from the pain Take up my message from the veins Speaking my lesson from the brain Seeing the beauty through the…
-Imagine Dragons - Believer
The worn leather nestles itself warmly against his neck, fingertips grazing against the frayed polyester cuffs and the smell of faded cigarettes and liquor envelope the air around him.
‘Juggie-’ Her voice wavers with uncertainty, the small smile that had crept its way into the corners of his mouth falls in an instant.
‘Sorry kid, I didn’t realise you had a lady-friend over.’ The broad Serpent chuckles throatily.
‘Uh, Betty-’ he offers lamely with an outstretched arm to the door, ‘my girlfriend.’
The Serpents in unison stretch to peer around the door, meekly Betty remains hidden, her slender fingers with periwinkle polish grasping firmly at the edge of the door with knuckles turning white.
‘My-my,’ smirks the leader of the pack, ‘don’t you just paint a familiar picture.’
Betty steps back cautiously as the larger man strains to get a better look, instinctively Jughead’s arm raises against the door-frame offering the bearded man a stern look. Taking a step back he rocks on the heels of his feet, his own hands raised in surrender and a curious gaze playing on his features.
What do you think attracted Hillary to Bill? They seem like polar opposites to me
Well I’m going to divide this into two parts, the physical and then the personality. Hillary herself has answered this question so I will be citing and using her quotes from Living History to derive meaning from.
First the physical. As we know from Hillary in her own words, she was very intrigued by his hands, besotted even. In Living History she says, “one of the first things I noticed about Bill was the shape of his hands. His wrists are narrow and deft, like those of a pianist or a surgeon.” This is simple enough, he had nice hands and she liked them. I find this romantic because one doesn’t usually think of hands as something to find attractive but she noticed them and wrote “I loved watching him turn the pages of a book.” Another description of the physical can be seen by this quote: “He was tall and handsome beneath that reddish brown beard and curly mane of hair.. He also had a vitally that seemed to shoot out of his pores.” Long story short, she found him to be very handsome and I think the vitality part was what probably attracted her to him the most because it showed that he was energetic and full of life. Now for the personality part. I think the fact that he was very caring towards her since the beginning also contributed to her attraction. Again I will be using examples all from Living History. “He complimented my long flower-patterned skirt. When I told him my mother had made it, he asked about my family and where I had grown up.” From this we can see that Bill was not only kind by complimenting Hillary, but that he also showed that he was interested in knowing more about her as a person. The fact that he gave Hillary a chance to speak about her family and childhood shows that he wanted to hear more from her and was genuinely intrigued about who she was. This most likely meant a lot to Hillary because as she has also said, “he was the first man I’d met who wasn’t scared of me.” Another example of how Bill’s personality and character attracted Hillary can be seen through the chicken soup and orange juice anecdote. “When I came back to Yale late Sunday, Bill called and heard me coughing and hacking from the bad cold I had picked up…about thirty minutes later he knocked on my door bearing chicken soup and orange juice.” Okay this once again shows how kind Bill was to Hillary and more importantly in a way how attentive. I don’t know how many men would go the extra mile of doing such a nice gesture as Bill did, but the fact that he noticed she was sick and brought her the chicken soup and orange juice to help her feel better showed that he cared and was listening, therefore attentive. There’s another example of Bill being attentive and Hillary once again wrote about it. “I asked him why he had been so quiet at my party.” “Because I was interested in learning more about you and your friends,” he replied. This one is so sweet and just speaks for itself. Due to how Bill was once again showing that he was genuinely interested in not only Hillary but in those close to her shows that he was mature and obviously very caring of who she was as a person. This attentiveness most likely endeared Bill to Hillary because as we know Hillary herself is a very attentive person who cares about others and seeing him reflect that, shows that he is the same way. Now for my personal favorite: the intellect. The two of them have always been quite the intellectuals with a passion for knowledge. Hillary wrote: “He could converse about anything-from African politics to country and western music.” This is another factor that attracted the two to each other because it showed that he had a vast knowledge of the world and many things such as herself. Also being as he discussed all these things with her, I think it shows how much he respected her intellect. This was likely of great importance to Hillary since back during that time women were expected to yield their intelligence to suit a man’s ego. Hillary also addresses this: “In high school, one of my smartest girlfriends dropped out of the accelerated courses because her boyfriend wasn’t in them. Another didn’t want to have her grades posted because she knew she would get higher marks than the boy she was dating.” Bill contrasted greatly to this and treated Hillary as an equal when it came to intellect so I think she very much enjoyed that he didn’t try to prevent her from being who she was. Lastly, I don’t think the two are polar opposites at all. Sure they came from different places with him being more of a southern guy and she from Illinois, but I think those differences are superficial. I think when it comes down to it, they are very much alike in their love for public service. It has been said that “they see themselves in almost Messianic terms, as great leaders who have a mission to fulfill.” I think this no doubt is what bonds them together, a shared purpose of life. I’ll end with one final quote of Hillary’s: “To this day, he can astonish me with the connections he weaves between ideas and words and how he makes it all sound like music. I still love the way he thinks and the way he looks.”
“You are my little sister. I promise you, you’ll never get hurt when you’re around me. My dream, it’ll never happen.”
talk about this later Dean.” You said angrily, you didn’t want his
apologies, you didn’t want anything, you just wanted to put as much
space between you and Dean as possible.
So you did.
Three Months Later….
When you came into consciousness you couldn’t ignore the pounding that was going on in your head. You’d had headaches before, but never one like this. Slowly opening your eyes you realized it was hard to crack one of your eyelids opened, it was as if it was glued together. Feeling something dripping down your face towards your eye, you tried to move your hand to stop it, however you couldn’t move your hands. Looking down you saw that you were restrained to a chair as blood was slowly dripping from your head. You glanced around to take in your surroundings, however you felt your breath hitch when you saw Sam sitting next to you, fighting his restraints as he was also tied down to his chair. A knot in your stomach instantly formed as you slowly turned your stare towards what was in front of you.
Just as you thought, Dean was standing there pale as a ghost. He nimbly held his gun at his side as he started at the ground while what you assumed was a demon stood behind him.
“Where’s Maggie, Mommy?” your daughter’s high-pitched voice met your ears as she stumbled down the hall. You turned to her, closing the book in your lap, “She’s not here anymore, she - .. ‘moved,’” you stuttered. Technically, you weren’t lying. After the run-in with the Saviors, she would be better off, and much safer, not in Alexandria.
Everything about what I’m going to talk about below will be an update from an earlier post of mine that I made, initially, two years ago and will also briefly discuss pros and cons! Please feel free to use both as a guide.
Admin / Modding
Being an independent admin has its perks but depending on the type of roleplay you’ll be setting up, it is also a lot of work. Performing all of the admin responsibilties can take up more time and leave you with little time or even muse to make replies owed to your character(s). There are a lot of factors one should consider before setting up a roleplay: how big of a roleplay do they want (small, mid-size, large), how long do they want the roleplay to last, and how dedicated can they be with time management and whether or not this approach will mean the roleplay is casual or more ‘serious.’ Roleplaying these days is not what it used to be in the past so it’s definitely a lot like a 9 to 5 job. I recommend solo if: you’re unsure about working with others, can handle that responsibility and have definite ideas in mind about the future/eventual end of your roleplay, and how much experience you have at hosting a roleplay.
A group admin roleplay (with two or more) can be a very beneficial and efficient way of running a roleplay, especially currently. Duties can be assigned and people who excel at certain areas over others (graphics, coding, bios, promoting, etc…) can be given to those who can do those best; it also helps when the group consists of admins in different time zones. (After all, we all want utmost best for our roleplays). However, the trade off here is time coordination and requires working as a team and trusting the people you’re working with.
There also may be some “favouritism” or a “rank” in which admins are easier to approach/talk to - even if all of the admins are kind and friendly, one or a few admins might receive more attention than others. This is risky only because some might get jealous or perceive that negatively thus tearing apart an otherwise great admin team and/or destroying the roleplay. There are also players that will try to alienate admins.
While a primary is great to have in that you can reach out to people privately this way and etc, it has its disadvantages from having to continually switch back and forth from your character accounts to the main and vice versa.
A secondary is especially great if you have more than one admin in a roleplay, all of the character accounts can be primary with the roleplay being secondary – this eliminates the need to have members access the blog on a different or incognito browser, it also means you can always be notified when a message is sent to the main without leaving the individual waiting for a few hours or so before doing a main check in. It’s also great for, if an admin leaves or drama goes down and wants to do something spiteful (like, delete the blog), they can’t. This can be bad, though, for queueing purposes (depending on how much you like to queue in a day and how active you are as a character/on the main because of the post limit).
Not sure how this works but I know this is becoming popular. Probably best for Hollywood-related RP’s and/or a casual approach!
IMO, these are a bit unorganized and are still a little obsolete despite their comeback.
Being friendly and not sounding full of yourself is the way to go. Always. And try not to do things that would be blatantly wrong (like, purposely whitewashing a POC and then being in denial about it rather than apologizing, owning up to it and changing it).
If confronted with a situation, it’s best to approach it after you’ve cooled down (anger and/or anxiety-wise) and allowed the more emotional reaction to pass; it’s better to approach things rationally and calm, this keeps you from saying, well, stupid shit that could be used against you in the future and/or make a situation worse. Hear all sides and do not discret what someone says unless you have absolute proof that they’re wrong if you need to support your claim (comfort level is a different matter, however).
What kills a roleplay faster than anything is not being active on the main or having an active presence in the RPC. As I stated in my earlier post, a lot of roleplays come out in a week and it’s important to not lose determination.
Can be a hindrance or a help. Some people are turned away from mascots for a variety of reasons: bad FC experience, not being able to use that FC for their character if they desired to do so. But they can be helpful in conveying tone of a message and/or a clearer identifier of which admin is responding!
Is unsurprisingly very important because let’s all face it, we all judge a book by its cover even when we say we don’t. We do. Having a nice theme and graphics is what draws the eye in. It sucks but it’s true (how else would those contained themes be popular if it weren’t?). If you don’t know how to make graphics or aren’t advanced enough to do so, there are RPH’s out there that do take requests! (But be sure to credit them)!
Style of Theme
Gonna be biased here and say these are the best for presenting the main roleplay. Text are usually darker and bigger, and not drop shadowed; the navigation is more readily accessible. (Placement of things is important however and having a fixed, easy to reach pagination is suggested - such as off to the side or up in the topbar navigation rather than at the very bottom of the posts, or having a script that can enable the ‘back to the top’ feature).
I personally don’t suggest these for the main page for the roleplay at all. They’re too condensed and when you’re trying to pack a lot of information into a roleplay, these aren’t the best to use. Using them on the character accounts is fine and all but it just doesn’t belong on a roleplay that has to host: biographies, events/tasks, and etc…. Those posts can get quite long.
On the main page, listing important links (plot, rules, characters, [town, lore], application/apply) is important before providing the “navi+” that then goes on to list all of the links. The navigation page should be easy to use and navigation. The background should not be the same or similar to the colour being used for the text.
However you decide to do this (following all of the blogs back or listing out the links then linking in its own page or combined as an OOC directory), it should follow the same premise as above.
Some like to go beyond the typical ‘Female, all, open, taken’, ‘Male, open, all, taken’ route and make a kind of ‘muses’ page where the FC picture is provided along with essentials and a brief summary then a link to their bio. This should follow the same rule as above.
There are plenty of free-to-use PSDs out there for people to use but try being original if you can! Character PSDs can be a really cool way to incorporate symbolism into the graphics that may or may not be included in the header and promo images.
Similar to the promo image, this can be an expansion of the promo image or the same as is, but this will also help to draw attention to your roleplay. I advise using it both in the mobile theme header and on the main page itself.
This is what your eye catcher will be. This should in some way represent the overall theme of your roleplay. Try to have some stand out pieces.
Shorter life span, tends to only last about a few months to a year depending on how fast the plot progresses. Best for casual or novel-like roleplays.
If you want your roleplay to last a long time and have it sort run like a television show, a ‘seasonal’ route is a good option to consider! As we know, people can get attached to the world and the characters in it, so what happens after you beat the main villain in season one? You work up the next conflict for your characters to deal with! A seasonal route can also allow for intermittant hiatuses to give the admins time away to break and think of what to bring next while also building up hype for the return.
As an admin, you have a variety of options on how to approach this aspect.
Skeleton – This is great for if you don’t want to write a lot of bios or don’t have the muse or time to do that. The pattern of skeletons can vary and be either not complete or partially complete, and the person interested in applying would simply provide the rest of the details. The skeleton can include ideas you had for a character but didn’t know how to complete. Additionally, this is great for a casual approach, as well as giving players the feeling like they’re creating an OC but with direction.
OC – An original character. A very popular choice of bringing characters into a world and molding them to fit within it; of course, not OC’s are great so don’t feel forced to accept them! This is also a casual approach, and even more so than the skeleton one.
Canon – The most time-consuming but also the benefit of creating a character that you know fits in with the world you created.
Additional Information (town(s), lore, villain, etc…)
When including other information to add to the world you’ve created, I suggest making it as original as you can. With a lot of roleplays following similar genres, you’ll want something that sticks out - even if just the tiniest bit.
These tend to last longer, from a few weeks to a month. These act as plot progressional tools. You’ll want to at least have one event going each month, this is what will help keep your roleplay interesting and moving forward.
Optional or mandatory. Shorter and can be used to build up to the event or the overall plot. It can be something silly as well, like something that focuses on the characters or invokes thought.
(Ask) Memes / Anons
Optional or mandatory. Just like with the events and tasks, memes help encourage OOC and IC interaction. It can also encourage thought about characters. They can be used to encourage IC interaction by allowing characters to reply to the responses or be used however seen fit.
Somewhere on the main, I advise creating a page of dedication where you give credit to the resources you’ve used in your roleplay.
Reaching out to similar roleplays to become affiliates is a great way to promote yourself and them. It also helps build a network for future projects!
Utilizing RPH’s is another great way of spreading the word. All you have to do is send in a paragraph summarizing your roleplay and/or submitting a promo post through them!
You’ll want set up a queue that promotes your graphics on the daily with a high frequency volume since the tags move very fast. The max you can queue in a day is: 300.
To avoid steering away potential applicants and to also draw in more attention, using a variety of tags that represent your roleplay is good. RP and RPG are good variations as well. Remember, only the first 5 tags show up in the searches.
This is becoming a more popular trend, I’ve noticed, and this can be used to help build up hype before launching or relaunching your roleplay!
Inspo / Aesthetics Blog
Similar to the talk tag, this can help build up hype and also give your players and future applicants an idea for what your roleplay is like.
Utilizing Your Personal / RPH+
Can bring in additional traffic to those who like to roleplay but may not necessarily know how to browse the tags or doesn’t check the tags regularly. This also builds up hype!
Don’t choose the player over your fellow admin in a situation where you know the player is wrong. Keeping players around and demoting and/or kicking out an admin just because you’d rather keep the player happy and not lose a member or a few is bad. (As well as shady and uncomfortable). The same goes in the reverse situation. Remove the antagonizers, even if that results in 10 others leaving in the process - it’s better to remove all negativity possible than to keep one or two around just because you don’t want the roleplay to collapse. It’s important to not let anyone divide the group as a whole (players and admins).
"9. I hate you so much but last night you were super drunk (which is really weird for you) and trying to get into your place here let me help you you’re gonna have a hell of a hangover", for sprace?
okay it’s very late and I’m very tired. I kinda hate the ending cause I kinda rushed it. I’ll probs rewrite it a bit and post it on ao3, but here ya go for now. Also I didn’t edit any of this so sorryyy. And it might be a bit ooc. Like I said, I’ll fix it all when I post it on ao3. Enjoy, I guess.
Spot woke up with a killer headache. He groaned and blinked a few times, allowing his eyes to adjust to the harsh morning light as he sat up. The pounding in his head was relentless and he considered just laying in bed all day. Spot sighed. He moved to get up, and made a realization.
Summary:When you meet Taehyung in a bar one night, you don’t expect to fall for him. He was different, tattoos inked along his arms and a bright smile on his face. He was the opposite of everything you were; he was free – or so you thought.
Genre/Warnings:Socialite!AU, Badboy!Taehyung. Angst + Smut; It’s filth. That is all.
A/N: First of all, I want to thank Dannie and Tay aka @pinkjxmin + @jungblue for helping me out with all of the plotlines and where I wanted to take this fic. I was originally going to make this all one fic but halfway through writing it, I realized it was going to surpass 20k and I wasn’t about to make everyone read an excessively long fic lmao. But here’s the first part to it! I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. xx.
anonymous asked: hello! if its not too much, can i request a wonwoo hanahaki disease au scenario? like i want it very angsty bc i lov to break mi own heart but i dont want anyone to die. thank you, you lovely little bean hehe ^~^💛
Summary: a kind of fictional historical thing based in the tudor era but like u can’t really call it that cuz like did henry VII or queen elizabeth actually ever reign in this fictional world ??? that’s the real question.. also mingyu and wonwoo don’t wear those ugly ass balloon pants that were classic of the tudor era…. I wouldn’t do that to them… nor would I let them do that to themselves….
The sounds of an orchestra playing and feet shuffling in the background fade. Your shoes suddenly feel like nothing, unlike the previous iron weights that they had felt like before. Every blister and bruise becomes completely unknown to you. You lean against the window, the latticework cold against your cheek as fatigue settles into your bones, though only out of the anxiety of having to dance with strangers in the middle of a loud room.
“There you are,” You hear from behind you. You don’t turn toward the voice, knowing exactly who it came from and knowing also that you’d rather not see him right now.
“Here I am.” You state, your voice sounding pathetically weak and getting lost and muffled in the glass panes of the window.
“Your sister is looking for you.” Mingyu says. He reaches out for you, placing a hand on your shoulder, but you shrug it off with a sigh.
S A G E W A R R E N, the girl who knew too much, who was destined to prophesy the destruction of the world and have not a soul believe her. She was slight, unassuming and more powerful than the Nogitsune could have ever expected. It was a grave mistake to underestimate the girl with the ice blonde hair and wide wild eyes. For she was the key to his undoing, the key to it all. - TRANSCENDENCE(x)
Everybody Hurts Sometime by Jeff Giles Excerpt from Newsweek interview with Michael Stipe Newsweek, 9/26/94, Vol. 124 Issue 13, p60, 3p.
What can you tell me about “Let Me In”? That’s a song that I wrote to Kurt Cobain after he killed himself. [Pause.] I, um…I should be able to do this without getting emotional. [Pause.] I lost a friend in October – River Phoenix was a very, very close friend of mine. And I’ve never suffered such a profound loss. I couldn’t write for five months. We had started the record in September. I’d written two songs and then River died. And, having written “Automatic for the People,” I was not about to write another record about death and loss. So it took me five months to sit down and write again. Then, halfway through making “Monster,” Kurt died. At that point, I just threw my hands up and wrote “Let Me In.”
So when you sing “Hey, let me in” – that’s you talking to Cobain? That was me on the phone to him, desperately trying to get him out of the frame of mind he was in….In the most big- brotherly way – God, I hate that term – in the most genuine way, I wanted him to know that he didn’t need to pay attention to all this, that he was going to make it through. If R.E.M. had sold 5 million copies of “Murmur,” none of us would be alive to tell the tale. I really believe that. I’d have died with Quaaludes in my blood and a lot of Jack Daniels.
What else did you and Cobain have in common? One of the things I think I’ve done successfully as a media figure is avoid a lot of the cliches, like the macho posing. I’ve tried really hard to blur the lines, and a lot of that does have to do with sexuality. I like fucking around with gender. I like writing songs that aren’t gender-specific. And I really felt an alliance with both Kurt and River in that both of those guys, in their respective fields, were doing the same thing.
The cliched take on your career is that, when you started out, you were very shy. It’s not a cliche. It’s the dead truth. I was unbearably shy. And that’s part of what drew me to River. I recognized that in him. The first time I met him, his hair was completely covering his face. And I was like, “God, that was me at 22.” There’s an incredible vulnerability at the core of what River, Kurt and I do – or did.
Just before his death, Cobain said all he wanted to do was record with you. Do you know what sort of music he had in mind? Yeah, he talked a lot about what direction he was heading in. I mean, I know what the next Nirvana recording was going to sound like. It was going to be very quiet and acoustic, with lots of stringed instruments. It was going to be an amazing fucking record, and I’m a little bit angry at him for killing himself. He and I were going to record a trial run of the album, a demo tape. It was all set up. He had a plane ticket. He had a car picking him up. And at the last minute he called and said, “I can’t come.”