half guinea

3 Part Anon, Part II

If you sent more than one message, I didn’t get them. 

But short answer is this: If there is so much as half a guinea pig’s dick of sense in the brains of any of these people, OLdemort (aka She Who Must Not Be Named) will no longer be shoehorned into this fandom, either overtly or with sneaky underhandedness. Ceasing lame social media games regarding location and togetherness, regardless of their intent as a mask for one thing or a reveal of another, is a must since they have outlived their usefulness as a tool and have become a liability for Sam’s reputation and likability. 

I don’t care for martyrs and this situation has no need for one. That would be very apparent if everyone involved didn’t have their head so far up their own asses that they’re wearing anal sphincters for scarves. 

A horde of wild incubi appeared !!

An Abbreviated List of Animals Dumped at the Store

Let me preface this by saying that if you find a baby wild animal, PLEASE LEAVE IT THERE. 99% of the time it doesn’t need your help. If it clearly does (has injury, you know for a fact the mother is dead) don’t take it to a pet store. We will be happy to advise you as best we can, but the best thing for you to do is to take it to a wildlife rescue or vet’s office (one you know that provides rehab services). We are kind-hearted people, but we often cannot devote the time needed to care for a nursing baby rabbit, and almost certainly lack the experience of an actual wildlife rehabber.

We also generally can not take your pet you’ve had for months back, regardless of where you got it from (us or some other random assorted place).

Without further ado, here are some animals from this spring and summer dumped or foisted onto us:

-Three bala sharks that the man threatened to dump in the parking lot if we didn’t take.

-A tiny kitten launched at the doors five minutes after we opened.

-A salamander someone’s kid brought from the local nature park (Really? Why?)

-Many, many, baby mice and bunnies. (No, we do NOT feed them to the snakes.)

-A 6-month old bearded dragon with Metabolic Bone Disease

-Half a dozen guinea pigs with various broken bones and/or neurological damage.

-A puppy someone threatened to throw out of their truck on the busy highway if someone didn’t take it.

-A flood of baby turtles people had “rescued.” (Please leave the smol turtles be!! I know they’re cute, but they have the best chance of survival in the wild!)

If you ever feel like we are questioning you too much about the care of your future animal, please know it isn’t because we have some superiority complex, we genuinely want what’s best for the animal you are about to purchase. I’m sure many of the people who brought these animals in had good intentions when they purchased/found these animals, and either got in over their heads or simply weren’t willing to give these animals the care they need and deserve.

Dear Sir,

I have received your several favors of the 11th, 25th, & 27th Jany., 2nd, & 6th April, the letters they covered were delivered as directed, the last gave me most pleasure, I rejoice to hear of your safe arrival at Charles Town, & of your escape from the several perils my imagination had formed for you, I confess.  I expected to hear of you from some English port, concluding that you would be intercepted by a Man of War, now my fears create new dangers for you, but your zeal should hurry you too forward in the Military line, my only hopes are your being governed by your Father’s prudence, & Moderation._ As you take no notice of my letters of the 17th January, & 4th Febry, in answer to your two 1st I conclude they reached Bourdeaux after you had embarked, Patty wrote at the same times, & oftener than I did; the 1st was to inform you of your having a Daughter, who has undergone much pain & misery by a swelling in her Hip, & Thigh, I believe from a hurt by the carelessness of the Nurse, which she would not confess, for a long time, I did not expect she could live, & from Docr Hills opinion, I thought it impossible, but Mr. Grindalls Skills saved her, & she is now very well at Chelsea, for the change of air.  From yours desiring me to procure a passage for Patty she is all impatience to set out, I said little to stem these first emotions, but I have since talked to her on the risk she must run, & the hardships she must be exposed to, they seem to stagger her, though they have not yet altered her resolutions, but if she will be guided by me, I would by no means have her venture till peace is restored to us, & even then I should not think it prudent to venture, without you com[ing] for her, I believe I could put her into very safe hands to convey her to St. Kitts about Xmas next, but should the Ship be taken by an American Privateer, she may be exposed to horri[ble] insults, & in her passage from St. Eustatia to Charles Town, as much is to be dreaded from English Ships of War, I can’t object to her joining you, if it can be done with safety, but I shall be very unhappy to part with her under our present disagreable circumstances, altho Mr. Daniel Blake has very politely assured me of his protection to her, you will conclude from this, that if she follows my advice she will remain here, if not my letter to your Father of the 1st of Jany. (of which you was bearer) expresses fully what I can at present do for her, I shall therefore only add that my fortune increases as fast as I have any right to expect, & in proportion will be her share, unless I should live to be able to give each of my Daughters £10,000, which I flatter myself 7 or 8 years will effect, & further (at present) I don’t think of going, be it more or less, it will be yours by my Will, on your making an adequate settlement, if not it is conveyed to Trustees for her provision, I have as I mentioned to you, continued her on the same Stipend with my other Daugh[ters] & from a Legacy of £300 bequeathed to her, by her Uncle Mr. Ryan, which I hope will last untill a happy accommodation is brought about, & supply the expenses of herself, & Child; I shall not use the licence you gave me of breaking into your Father’s Stock.

Mrs. Manning is as usual unwell; Sally in the Country, Patty at Chelsea, Betsy, Jack, & myself keep house, & all join in our affectionate Compliments to you, & our best wishes attend all your undertakings, especially those that tend to peace_

Harry spent the Days of Whitsuntide with us, & the nights [wi]th Mr. Parsons; the Nursery, & Mrs. Manning’s illness filled (by sending me to another bed) our house, he is a fine fellow, Mr. George Taylor was so pleased with him he gave him half a Guinea; I am going to Richmond presently,

I am Dear Sir Yours affectionately

Wm Manning


William Manning to John Laurens, in a letter dated July 12, 1777

Patty is John Laurens’s wife, Martha Manning

It’s been scientifically proven that ENTJs can’t use exclamation marks.

Trust me, I’ve performed numerous rigorous studies on my group of sixty-two and a half ENTJ guinea pigs. They never cracked even under extensive amounts of pressure. Not even to give the impression of yelling. They literally cannot express extremes of emotion !!!! even through text their hearts remain distant and repressed. They are forever cursed to use periods at the end of each stiff expression of thought. What is emotion. They just don’t know.


A few pages from “Cinderella” in The Sleeping Beauty and Other Fairy Tales by Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch, with illustrations by Edmund Dulac: published by Hodder & Stoughton Ltd. Our copy is one of an inexpensive edition published for Boots UK (then the Boots Pure Drug Company Ltd, Nottingham).

This provenance itself is of interest. From Colin Wilson’s Snobbery with Violence:

The Boots Booklovers’ Library was begun in 1899, at the instigation of the first wife of the manufacturing chemist, Jesse Boot. More than two hundred of the firm’s branches were equipped with library facilities by 1909. In the mid-1930s, when circulating libraries were at the peak of their popularity, there were book sections in four hundred and fifty branch shops. From the beginning, the Boots Library was operated on a “loss leader” principle. Shelves were always at the back of the shop and as subscribers passed through to change their books they became potential customers at the chemists’ counters. The subscription was kept deliberately low. Originally half a guinea a year, it increased only slowly to thirty shillings. The service was being used by between a quarter and a half a million people in the 1930s, despite competition from the new chain libraries, and it has been claimed that the library was buying for its 340 branches one and a quarter million books a year at one period. It was the last nationwide circulating library to succumb to the social and economic changes after the second world war: final closure came in February 1966.