half female



Moana spoilers

Moana is a seafaring adventure story, but it’s also a story about women supporting other women trough trauma, and a story about choice.

“But the other lead character is a dude!”
Just bear with me here.

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House Party

So I play a randy female Half-Orc, it’s a lot of fun, and she will always try to bang anything “new”. Our Warlock summoned this magic house for us to recover in. It was full of these magic ghost servants (I forget the name of the spell, you probably know it).

My Orc: Hey, mate. Yeah you, servant ghost man. Are you, er, corporeal?

Servant: I am, madam.

Me: And do you …ever …you know.

Servant: I do as I am bid, madam.

Me: Yeah, but are you capable of, like, consent?

After about a minute of this, and my party’s horrified silence, I had sex with a house. It was the finest moment of my life.

“Perfect Sense”

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary: In which you confront Draco Malfoy about why he’s been distancing himself from you. 

I had a layover in France and spent two hours chatting with a very cute couple who met through Harry Potter. This one’s inspired by both Halina and Parker’s story and @bovaria‘s Draco-love. By the time you read this story, I’ll probably be in the air, flying back to the States!

A/N: Reader’s house is Ravenclaw, only because the female half of the couple I met is a Ravenclaw. However, feel free to replace it with your house!

“You don’t want be with me.”

The familiar feeling of trepidation mixed with slight annoyance trickles down your body as you cross your arms against your chest. Your eyes pierce into the silvery blue eyes you’ve spent hours staring into, internally building yourself up so you don’t squirm under his normally intense gaze.

“Why would you say that?” you start, standing behind a false shield of bravery. It’s taking everything in you to not unfold your arms and start fiddling with the charm of Rowena Ravenclaw’s diadem hanging from the subtle silver bracelet on your wrist. No, you need to come off as strong when dealing with the prince of Slytherin.

“You’re a bloody Ravenclaw,” Draco practically spits out.

“What does my house have anything to do with this?” you retort back, your tone surprisingly sharp. You internally wince as Draco gapes at you in surprise -this was the first time you’ve raised a defensive voice against him- but you stand your ground.

Draco can’t quite meet your eyes, instead stares fixedly at the diadem charm. “I just meant you’re smart, so you probably already know of my reputation,” he says, his voice devoid of any emotion. “I can’t imagine you’d want to be with someone like -”

A light but harsh breeze whisks through the balcony of the Astronomy Tower, a violent shiver running down your spine, causing you to stumble. Eyes lined with concern, Draco quickly grabs your wrist and pulls you closer to him, allowing you to get a better look of his handsome, albeit weary, face in which tortured guilt swarms his silver eyes.

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So after our female half-elf ranger tripped in alchemist’s lab tent, her sunrod goes flying and lands in the machine. She proceeds to run back as fast as she could to the rest of the group (a female human rogue and a male gnome cleric[Me]) who are on horses.

Ranger: let’s get the hell out of here!!
Rogue: What did you do?!?
Ranger: No time to explain just ride!

-The entire Alchemist tent Town blows up and we’re riding to avoid getting caught in it-

DM: -rolls percentile for each of us-
DM: [Rogue] roll for straight dexterity
Rouge: -Rolls 19-
DM: you reach up suddenly and manage to catch a flying sunrod
OOC Ranger: Dafuck??
DM: [Me, Cleric] roll for ride check
Me: -Rolls a Nat 20-
DM: -turns to me- As you are riding it feels like your war pony is flying as there is a foul smelling stench coming from behind you
DM: -turns to the others- you manage to see [Me] war pony seem to float right next to you guys as you all hear a long farting noise while you ride managing to avoid the explosion
Group: -proceeds to laugh-
Me: I’m gunna call her Tootie

The bleeding necromantic hedgehog.

Context: all players in our Pathfinder party were walking down a narrow corridor inside a crypt. Needless to say, we were trying to be very careful on what we step. The ranger, first on the line was facing a door at the end of the corridor.
When she opened it, a necromancer was giving her the back at a distance, facing an altar, and two “skeletons” were guarding him.

We had the chance (all of us) to take them by surprise, as our ranger rolled a nice stealth check.

*Half-elf Female Ranger: I’ll nock an arrow on my bow and shoot the necromancer’s back. -it hits the target, deals little damage and she moves to the end of the players line-

*Half-elf Female Rogue: I do the same with my short bow -Hits, deals 2 dmg and she goes behind the ranger-

*Male Dwarf Crusader (me): *giggling* Okay, I’m going to do something dumb. -I throw my mace and take off my repeating heavy crossbow. -I hit, 6 dmg, and do the same as the others.-

The whole pack of players were laughing at this point.

*Male Human Warrior with traits on crossbows: step back, I’ll show you how it is done. -shoots a bolt and hits doing a shitload of damage. The necromancer dies-

*DM: Okay, so the skeletons see this guy die in slo-mo as you all bastards punish the hell out of the necromancer’s back. Now the skeletons are coming for you all, leaving behind a bleeding hedgehog lying on the altar.

Stuff that has mostly girl fans like boy bands gets universally shit on by society because it’s assumed that girls are too stupid to care about anything but cute boys, while every action movie in existence has exactly 1 (one) pointless, half naked, personality-lacking female character because boys aren’t capable of watching an entire two-hour movie if they don’t get to see any titties and no one ever has an opinion on that just saying