half a beard

mademoiselle-black  asked:

I love Marauder Era stuff, but finding smth with Sirius or Remus when they're older is hard here on tumblr. Remus turns from 'I'll have your daughter home by 8' in PoA to 'Your daughter calls me daddy too' in Half Blood Prince with that beard. Don't get me started on the suit he wore at Bill and Fleur's wedding cause I literally moaned in the theater when I saw him. Sirius is flawless from the start. How do people not want to write about that??? *pushes unpublished work further into the closet*



MATT: As you bring the prisoner down, you lay him down– and it is a man, early, mid-thirties-ish, maybe, looks grizzled, kind of a half beard growing in–

TRAVIS: Kill him.

MATT: – he is drowned at the moment.

SAM: Oh, he’s dead?

MATT: He’s not breathing, he is waterlogged, and even at a quick glance, you can see he has scars all over his body, his clothes are tattered–

MARISHA: Do I have any residual Control Water left? Yeah?

MATT: I’d say yeah, you’re still concentrating–

LAURA: I roll him on his side.

MARISHA: Can I see if I can pull any water out of his lungs?

MATT: You know what? Make a wisdom check.

LIAM: Out come the lungs.

LAURA: (vomit noise) And he’s dead. Dead dead.

LIAM: He’s inside out.

TRAVIS: What is dead may never die!


LAURA: Oh no, you keep scooching back.

MATT: 21!

LIAM: What the heck, Laura.

why my chem teacher is the most dad™ teacher and all-around coolest ever

- spent 5 minutes one day complaining about the transition effects and lame fonts on the old chem teacher’s lecture slides

- had us take a survey the first day of school in which he included a question about being stuck on a desert island with justin bieber

- while teaching us nomenclature conventions for alkanes, pointed at “pent-” and said “obviously you show know some of these already; if you’re a satanist you probably know what a pentagram is,” opened a discussion of temple of satan vs. satanic temple, and said he’d be interested in joining the satanic temple one day 

- a lecture slide on calorimetry included a picture of a bomb calorimeter, which he explained in depth, then held up a styrofoam cup and said “here’s a public school calorimeter”

- someone asked a question about when electronegativity becomes polar, so he pulled up a spectrum running from non-polar to ionic and said “it’s a spectrum. like gender. you know how some people think a person is a girl even if they say they’re a guy and vice versa? there are still non-polar bonds with high electronegativity and people think they should be polar but just because they have a certain electronegativity doesn’t mean they’re polar. pls be understanding of ur covalent kids.” 

- uses a yardstick instead of a pointer

- waves said yardstick around frequently, mostly for no reason. 

- once said (ironically) that he saw less and less bullying in classrooms now and that was a bit disappointing even though it was good. added that “if i had to suffer then you all do too” in a bitter tone of voice. when a english teacher walked in and asked him why he was waving the yardstick around he said it was because he was reminiscing on the bullying days.

- couple of us asked if we should get a new periodic table to take the test with since we’d written all over ours. he said no because if we’re smart enough to think ahead and cheat then we deserve the a.

- actually has a degree in philosophy. he’s so fucking nerdy

- he bikes to school everyday and then carries his bike up two flights of stairs to his classroom

- sometimes during tests he pulls a bagel and peanut butter out of his desk and eats them while watching us silently

- this one time we walked into class and he’d shaved off his half-beard into a mustache and when we asked why he said “i’m not a huge fan of it but my wife likes it so i do it for her” 

- used the trump supporter kid’s logic against him without explicitly expressing his political views so no one can actually get him fired

- complains to our class about how much he hates us

- explained catalytic converters to us once, then pointed at me with the yardstick and said “barrett you’re gonna love this because it involves carbon monoxide and like, suffocating yourself”

- i started crying once in class and he literally refused to give me the test because he didn’t think it would be fair to make me test while having an anxiety attack so he sent me into the lab and closed the classroom door and let me ugly cry. i kept begging him to let me take the test tho so he sighed and said “im ur dad right now not ur teacher please don’t take the test just light some incense and listen to some reggae or something and chill”

- i used pig’s blood in my chem internal assessment and when i asked him where i could store it overnight he shrugged and was like “i guess put it in the fridge in the teacher’s lounge and i’ll just tell people not to drink your blood”

- he knows our class so well it’s a little scary. predicts exactly what’s going to happen in certain circumstances with like 100% accuracy

- this one girl in my class didn’t finish her homework but we submit in through pictures on google classroom so she sent in a picture of her dog and he accepted it and gave it 10/10


No matter how enormously successful he may have been at the start, the future of a teen idol once he’s graduated from the warm embrace of boy bandhood is always precarious. Will his star continue to rise to Justin Timberlake (or, for the U.K. crowd, Robbie Williams) status? Or will he become nothing more than a distant, fond memory—a time capsule of a generation’s youthful indiscretion?

That’s the question facing former One Directioner Harry Styles who, a little over a year after his group officially (probably) disbanded, has just made the best case yet for his enduring pop cultural relevance. In going above and beyond his musical guest duties on this week’s S.N.L., Styles proved what his die-hard fans have been saying all along: he’s more than just a haircut.

This wasn’t Styles’s first S.N.L. rodeo; as musical guest, he’s always shown a penchant for hopping into sketches. Not all guest musicians like to try their hands at live sketch comedy, but Styles and the rest of the One Directioners charmingly cropped up on a 2012 “Manuel Ortiz Show” sketch and, briefly, in a 2013 sketch featuring Paul Rudd as their biggest fan. They also endearingly and self-mockingly cameoed in Rudd’s opening monologue.

But none of Styles’s previous, light S.N.L. sketch work could have prepared his fans for his level of involvement in this week’s episode. Perhaps taking a page from his successful S.N.L. collaborations with Justin Timberlake, host Jimmy Fallon had Styles join him in two sketches as well as the episode’s monologue. That monologue appearance was the least challenging part of he played. All Styles had to do was dance and belt out a smidgeon of Bowie—right in his wheelhouse. He did it all while giggling a little at Fallon’s self-seriousness. Who wouldn’t?

But Styles had a much bigger role to play in one of the earliest sketches of the night: an impressions showcase in the guise of a Celebrity Family Feud. By rights, Fallon should have owned this sketch—he very impressively scampered back and forth across the set in order to pull off dueling John Travolta impressions. But Styles sort of stole the show out from under him by unveiling a fearless (if not always entirely accurate) Mick Jagger impression.

As any S.N.L. aficionado will tell you, complete commitment to a bit and a willingness to make a fool of yourself is key to good hosting. Timberlake was fine in a pair of early S.N.L. appearances—but it wasn’t until he showed up in 2003, cool as a cucumber, in a giant omelette costume that he proved once and for all that he could hang with the best Studio 8H had to offer. Styles-as-Jagger also took a tiny dig at his own fledgling solo career, saying, in character, “Solo? Why would anyone in a successful band go solo? That’s insane.” Self-awareness? Also a vital quality for any S.N.L. host.

Styles’s last acting appearance of the night came during a surprisingly effective, high-concept sketch which saw Fallon and a group of Union soldiers slowly turn a traditional Civil War ballad into an infectious pop song. Styles appears as a Rebel prisoner who adds a soulful bridge. The singer’s earnest crooning prompted half of the beard glued to his face to pop off—not a rare issue when it comes to live sketch comedy. Styles handled the malfunction with aplomb, first slapping the beard back on his face when the camera panned away—and then, when it came loose again, just going with it.

But like Timberlake before him, Styles has not lost sight of the gift that made him a star. For all his sketch work in this week’s S.N.L. the singer also performed a pair of songs that sent his longtime fans swooning: his chart-topping single, “Sign of the Times” and a new track, titled “Ever Since New York”

But a successful foray into the world of sketch comedy isn’t the only way Styles is taking cues from Timberlake as he embarks upon his post-One Direction career. The singer recently landed a coveted role in Christopher Nolan’s upcoming prestige drama Dunkirk. Timberlake also followed the dissolution of N*Sync with a few serious film appearances, including Alpha Dog, Black Snake Moan, and, most successfully, The Social Network. Neither Styles nor Timberlake may ever win an acting Oscar, but all that stage presence has to go somewhere—and, depending on how well Dunkirk goes over, we may be at the very beginning of another boy band member’s long perch at the top.

If an early positive review (from Oscar winner Mark Rylance, no less!) is any indication, Styles also knows exactly how to channel that surplus of charisma. Rylance said of his Dunkirk co-star: “He seems remarkable … one of those people—Sean Penn has it, too—a kind of panache. I look at them and think, ‘How did you get that? How do you get so that life is easy?’ But he has got a lovely, lovely character. It’s a gift.” Dunkirk comes out in July. If it’s a palpable hit, we could see Styles make his S.N.L. hosting debut as early as this fall.  -  VANITY FAIR

Critical Role: episode 91

An incomplete list of things that happened tonight:

  • Keyleth had a frank discussion with her dad about not being prepared and how she feels a little angry about that sometimes
  • Keyleth’s dad hugged her and I cried
  • This picture:
  • Keyleth declaring, NOT asking permission, that she will stay with Vox Machina for a while longer
  • “We kidnap the President of Hell and assume is visage” Grog no
  • Matt smirked a LOT this episode and every time I said “I Don’t Like That Look On Your Face Matthew”
  • After my mind was excited by the prospect of Tiefling Vax if they tried reincarnation, now we have CANON TIEFLING VAX and I cannot WAIT for the fanart I’m gonna SWOON
  • Both VEX AND PERCY expressed great interest in seeing Keyleth shift into a succubus
  • “ermagerd”
  • “I am Lady Keyleth’s … friend”
  • After the break, Matt was illuminated by orange light
  • Devil’s Night DDDDD:
  • “Percival, strut”
  • Percy sternly demanding directions was um, sure a thing *sweats*
  • Vex sneering and being all snobby and nasty was um, sure a thing *sweats*
  • “This is like Hellraiser”
  • Keyleth finger-gunned with flaming hands at a devil man
  • Keyleth and Tary unknowingly ate souls
  • “We gotta get arrested” “Or become police officers”
  • “We could send him a tree”
  • “Here, he’s a wee bab in a chocolate egg”
  • “All this time Vax has been staring at Tary imagining him with HALF A BEARD”
  • Percy snorted a soul intentionally 
  • “I would prefer you indebted to me … tempt me … it behooves you to make this contract” This entire conversation holy hell it was so hot I might have fainted
  • “Greg”
  • “Does it show” PERCY OMG
  • Keyleth with her hood down, flaming hands on, striking a badass pose
  • Keyleth said that Vax “belong[ed] to her” and somewhere Vax got a boner
  • “I feel inspired to go to bed” SAME


ok my sisters asking why ppl ship george and harold anybody wanna answer

her arguments:

  •  theyre kids (g is 9 ¾, h is 10)
  • it doesnt matter if older harolds gay bc see bulletpoint 1
  • its a kiDS BOOK pLs stop i want to cherish my childhood not have it ruined by krupp x ribble or any other ship
  • pLease stop it hurts

she took over the keyboard halfway through this whole thing 
@thatanimatedgirl dude im sorry
@this side of the fandom including ppl who can explain this heLP ME OUT 

people are gonna start sending me hate asks im not ready

nothingtoseeherejustmovealong  asked:

Random ask: Facial Hair. What would cause Derek to shave his face clean? What could cause Stiles to grow facial hair? What would be each's reaction to the change in each other? I have my own thoughts, but I'd like to hear yours.

Oh, interesting… I’m really curious about your thoughts on this actually, because this isn’t something I’ve particularly thought about and I’m not sure I have a good answer for you.

For Stiles, I think all that would take is a few days too many on a research binge, or maybe finals week during college. Something that would pull his focus from general day to day upkeep, brain on bigger things, more important things, than keeping up with what his face looks like. It’s not so much a problem in high school but as he gets older and his body moves beyond producing peach fuzz once a week or so, it becomes inevitable that Derek walks in to discover a tired looking Stiles, face covered with patchy looking dark scruff, every couple months or so.

And, because I love my Sterek with some banter and snark, Derek would inevitably tease him for it, lift his brows and toss out some dry insult he’s barely even paying attention to as he says it because he’s so totally lost on this boy and Stiles looks beautiful like this. Alright, objectively terrible but… beautiful, because this patchwork scruff is just a sign of Stiles’ incredible mind working: how focused he is, how deeply he cares about whatever the hell’s swallowed up his focus: schoolwork, a pack problem… hell, even one of those internet games about wizards and goblins he falls into for days straight sometimes.

And Stiles will grumble and shave and feel a hell of a lot better afterward, but Derek can’t help being a little too fond of that damn, scraggly mess of a beard whenever it appears. (The pack signals that out as a sure sign he’s hopelessly in love because facial hair is absolutely not Stiles’ friend.)

As for Derek… we’ve seen him go through so many phases of facial hair in the show –– beardless and babyfaced in season one, that beautiful s2 stubble, building up into a full beard by the time he left. That makes me feel like Derek doesn’t have a particular preference and that –– like Hoechlin –– he just doesn’t like dealing with shaving. (Although… I might come back to this later. I have a pinging half-thought about his beard being a physical sign of him relaxing into himself and being more comfortable with his life and his body, but it doesn’t entirely make sense to me yet so I’ll have to think about it for a bit.) So I think he definitely prefers the beard, wouldn’t want to put in the effort into being clean shaven unless he had to. Unless he got something out of it.

So maybe if Stiles and Derek were seeing each other secretly, and Derek wanted to kiss down Stiles’ body without beard burn giving them away. Or! Oh, poor sunburned Stiles, after a badly planned beach day, skin soothed down with aloe but still aching and all Derek wants to do, tight and panging in his chest, is press gentle kisses across that hot skin, distract Stiles from the itching  ache of it, but his beard will just irritate Stiles more so he sighs and disappears into the bathroom (Stiles whining from the bed because “where did you go, you’re supposed to be taking care of the fragile human when he’s in pain, here”) and comes back out ten minutes later with his face shaved clean.

And Stiles would gape up at him from the bed, all blotchy pink skin and lips parted in shock, until: “holy shit, you look like a sixteen year old’s wet dream.” And then, when Derek’s brows just crawl up skeptically: “Mine, I mean, back when I was, because back then you looked like––” waving his hand out vaguely toward Derek. “And not that every look isn’t a good look for you, but why the sudden urge to experiment? Aren’t you supposed to be––”

“Kissing you better?” Derek cuts in, and Stiles shuts up because oh. Oh. And as much as he definitely looks forward to the scruff coming back in a few days, he doesn’t think he’s ever been quite as in love with Derek as he is now, knowing that he’d shaved off his beard just because he couldn’t stand the thought of not pressing soothing kisses over Stiles’ tender skin.