haley ma

bellamyblake  asked:

Thank you for existing. 💗 send this to 10 people that you think that deserve a sweet and kind message in their inbox 💕 (it's aarondingel)

I love you Sweetie! I might have been inspired by the ask ;)

Count it Down

Robert came into the backroom to find Liv sitting at the kitchen table. He watched as she threw her pen down and folded her arms across her chest.

“What are you doing?” Robert asked sitting down opposite from her.

“We have to make a list of our ten favourite people, the ones we couldn’t or rather wouldn’t want to live without, but so far I’ve only got seven people on my list and most of those I’d miss but I could totally live without if I had to. There are probably only two I wouldn’t want to live without,” Liv said ducking her head.

“Your mum and Aaron, right?” Robert asked wondering why she seemed embarrassed about it.

Liv actually blushed and tried to change the subject, “Do you have ten favourite people?”

Robert let his question go unanswered. “I don’t think I actually even know ten people who like me, let alone ten I couldn’t live without. I do have probably three that I wouldn’t want to be without, maybe four,” he replied realising that this probably wasn’t the best exercise for people like them. People with shit pasts, who came from broken homes and were more likely to bite you than be kind.  It was a wonder anyone loved them, but then they both had Aaron. Even though Aaron had been through the same things as them, worse still, he was the kind of person who would struggle to have only ten people on his list.

Keep reading

Even When I Lose My Head

I am ignoring the shit storm Emmerdale is trying to feed us at the moment.

@aarondingel has the best head canons and here is just one of them: Before they go to sleep Robert needs to show Aaron his scar of the gunshot wound and Aaron lays his head on Robert’s chest to hear his heart beating

Lyrics in Italics – Guillotine by Jon Bellion

Happy 1 Year Anniversary!!!  I hope you enjoy :)

For the first time in weeks Robert actually slept well, having Aaron home and with him made all the difference but Robert wasn’t at all surprised when he was woken in the middle of the night by his husband thrashing about in the middle of their bed.

Unsure about what to do Robert sat up in bed and switched on the light next to him. ”Aaron,” Robert called out not wanting to touch him when he was feeling vulnerable. He didn’t want to cause his husband any more pain “Aaron,” he called again when Aaron didn’t stir.

Aaron let out a whimper and it broke Robert’s, heart. He didn’t know if these were old nightmares or new ones, but demons were haunting his husband and Robert hated that he couldn’t do a damn thing to stop them.

Robert knew that Aaron had been through hell on the inside. They had both been through the wringer but Aaron was home and Robert just wanted to mend everything that was broken inside them both even though he had no clue where to start.

Against his better judgement, Robert placed a gentle hand on his husband’s face and brought his lips to Aaron’s forehead, kissing him, Robert whispered, “I love you, you’re safe here with me now, I promise. Aaron, wake up please!”

“Robert,” Aaron grabbed a hold of Robert’s wrist tightly, coming awake slowly. “I’m sorry,” he apologised loosening his grip on Robert’s arm and stroking his fingers softly over the red marks he’d left behind.

“Don’t ever apologise for needing me. I love you, Mr Sugden,” Robert said pressing another kiss to Aaron’s head.

“I love you too Mr Dingle. I just hate that I woke you because you look like you need all the sleep you can get,” said Aaron turning into Robert’s touch and pressing a kiss to the centre of his palm.

“I’ve slept better in the last few hours with you in our bed beside me than I have in over a month without you. So, don’t concern yourself with it. All I need to be at peace is you here with me, safe and sound,” Robert replied.

Sleep on me, feel the rhythm in my chest, just breathe

Robert lay down on his back and tugged on Aaron arranging him so that he laid his head on Robert’s chest. Aaron pressed a kiss to the bullet scar that almost took Robert from him before settling his ear over Robert’s heart and the sound of his heartbeat soothing Aaron in a way he didn’t realise he needed.

Robert was here. He was alive. They were alive. Here together.

“I can’t believe you stuck around after all I’ve put you through. I don’t deserve you, Robert,” Aaron’s words were like little daggers in Robert’s heart because it pained him so much that Aaron had no idea how fucking amazing he was to Robert.

If anyone wasn’t worthy…

“Trust me, we deserve each other. No one else would do. I could never leave you, Aaron, you’re my whole damn life, without you everything else seems to cease to exist and the day’s pale into nothingness. I never want to feel like that again. Fair warning, you’re never getting rid of me ever,” Robert whispered his voice gruff with emotion against the top of Aaron’s head.

I will stay so the lantern in your heart won’t fade

“You know I’m here if you want to talk about it. You can tell me anything, Aaron. I promise not to judge or get mad,” Robert offered stroking his hands up and down Aaron’s naked back over the warm silky skin. It had a grounding effect on Robert the panic from earlier slowly receding from his gut. “There is nothing you can say that will ever turn me away from you.”

The secrets you tell me I’ll take to my grave
There’s bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway

Aaron’s silence didn’t last long a sob escaped him and Robert held onto him tight, as the shudders that wracked Aaron’s body threatened to tear them both apart. “Is it Gordon or Jason?”

Aaron shook his head against Robert’s chest, “Yes and no,” he said. “It’s stupid. I’m home now, with you. I know I’m safe I know Gordon’s dead, that he can’t hurt me but he’s still inside Robert and sometimes I feel like I need to cut him out of me before he poisons everything good that’s left of me.”

“It’s not stupid to be scared, Aaron. I’m scared all the time. I’m terrified I’m going to hurt you or let you down. Hell, I’m scared shitless that you will wake up one day and realise I don’t deserve you, that you can do better, that I’m not worth your time, let alone your love. But Aaron please promise me when it gets to be too much that you’ll talk to me. And believe me when I say that there is nothing of him inside you. Don’t give him that kind of power and Aaron you’re all good. All your parts, every cell, every thought, every deed. You are the best person I know, even if you are a Dingle,” Robert hoped he wasn’t saying the wrong thing. He wanted Aaron to come to him, to talk to him.

Aaron’s sobs were broken by a small burst of laughter, there and then gone. “I’m sorry Robert. I just don’t know how not to feel this way and when I was inside I tried to be strong Robert I did but I was so scared. I already tried to kill myself once, what if that weakness in me is because of him? How do I get away from that?”

Robert was terrified to hear Aaron talk about hurting himself but this was good, that Aaron felt safe here with him to share how he felt was a good thing. He just had to try and remember that. “Did you want to hurt yourself this time when you were inside?”

Aaron sucked in a deep breath before answering, “No. I just wanted to come home. I knew you were here waiting for me, looking after Liv and I just wanted to be home. I held onto you. I might have been a bit of a smart ass when taunting him about how good sex with you is.”

Robert smiled without meaning to, “I bet. You have a mouth on you. It’s always been one of my favourite things about you.” Robert brought one of his hands to Aaron’s head, he used it to tilt Aaron’s face towards his so they could meet eyes. “You’re stronger than you know you are Aaron. I’m in awe of you every day. Maybe, talking to someone about some of the new stuff that is sticking with you might be a good idea?” Robert didn’t want to force the issue. Hell, he could probably use some counselling too.

“Liv said I should dance on the bed after a nightmare apparently, it helps, but the counselling thing might be a good idea…will you come with me?” Aaron asked looking unsure of himself.

“Like couples counselling?” Robert asked confused.

“No, like we both get a little help but we do it together,” Aaron answered sounding hopeful.

“Can we dance on the bed instead?” Robert joked. “I wouldn’t even know where to start Aaron but if that is what you need from me you know I’ll be there.”

“I think Jack would be a good place to start, don’t you?” Aaron said rolling so that he was laying on his stomach on top of Robert.

“Aaron, that was nothing. I…you can’t compare that with everything you’ve been through,” Robert argued shifting so that Aaron was covering him almost completely. The weight of Aaron’s body making him feel safe and protected.

Aaron cupped Robert’s face in his hands so he couldn’t look away and said, “Compare, no, but he hurt you as sure Gordon hurt me. He broke your trust and abused your body, he just used his fists. Your pain is real Robert. Your internal scars are valid as my external ones are.”

And if you have nightmares, we’ll dance on the bed
I know that you love me, love me
Even when I lose my head
Guillotine, guillotine

Robert knew he should say something but words failed him. That Aaron thought any of that even mattered floored him. Robert had never told another soul about what had happened with Jack because he honestly didn’t think anyone would believe him or care. But Aaron did. There was so much love inside Robert he didn’t even know what to do with it. He wanted to give it all to Aaron it was almost all his anyway but he didn’t know how.

Before Aaron, Robert didn’t think anyone would ever be able to love him, the real him. All of him but Aaron did. Robert felt like he should pray to some deity somewhere that he’d found Aaron, and that Aaron had loved him back. Did love him. “I love you,” he whispered bringing their lips together in a kiss.

Kiss my lips, feel the rhythm of your heart and hips
I will pray so the castle that we’ve built won’t cave

“I need you,” Robert whispered against Aaron’s mouth.

“I fucking love you, Robert Sugden. There’s only you for me,” Aaron said in between licks against Robert’s lips. ‘I need you inside me, now, please Robert please.”

“God,” Robert muttered using his fingers to test how ready Aaron actually was, his hole still loose and fluttering around his fingers from their earlier lovemaking. One finger, two then three slid in with little to no resistance.

Aaron let out a moan and hitched himself up Robert’s body a little, one knee bent and hooked up to give him the leverage he needed to thrust himself back towards where Robert’s hard cock rested twitching and leaking against his own belly.

“Wait! Just wait a second. Shit!” Robert grabbed the slick from under his pillow where he’d shoved it after the last time and poured some on his hand. Reaching between their bodies, he used it to slick himself even as Aaron pushed his hand away so he could get at Robert’s cock.

Robert swallowed his throat suddenly dry as Aaron thrust himself down onto Robert’s cock his eyes full of so much love and desire, that Robert had to force himself not to look away. The urge to run and hide still strong but he wanted Aaron to have all of him. He met Aaron’s gaze and clutched at his hips as Aaron began to thrust against him. The slow drag of Aaron’s heavy cock against his stomach made his own harden further still where it was nestled inside his husband.

You fill me up, you fill me up
You set my soul ablaze
You fill me up, you fill me up
Your love is so amazing
You fill me up, you fill me up
You set my soul ablaze
You fill me up even when I lose my head

Robert was almost asleep again when Aaron kissed him on his neck. “Oh, Robert…” Aaron whispered into the darkness.

“Yeah?” Robert asked, wrapping his arms tighter around his husband.

“Happy Anniversary!” Aaron exclaimed before settling down again to sleep and Robert laid there in the dark and thought about all their other anniversaries and all the ones they would have to come. Glad that this was one that Aaron wanted to acknowledge because much like the day Robert met Aaron when he really started living, this day a year ago was when Robert started breathing again.

You fill me up, you fill me up
You set my soul ablaze
You fill me up, you fill me up
Your love is so amazing
You fill me up, you fill me up
You set my soul ablaze
You fill me up even when I lose my head

bellamyblake  asked:

I COULDNT HAVE SAID IT BETTER BABES I follow you for the pretty, because you're my true love ❤️ because you always make me smile even when I feel like crying. I would follow you anywhere. You're my queen and I love you with my everything!!!

For you my dear I hope it is all you could want and wish for and if not well *whispers* I may have written others.  ❤️ ❤️

Ninety-Nine Bottles and a Broken Vase

“Ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall, Ninety-five bottle of beer. Take one down, pass it around. Ninety-four bottles of beer on the wall,” Robert sang out at the top of his lungs, his arms gesturing enthusiastically.

Aaron chuckled at his husband’s antics and only stopped when a large burp escaped from his mouth. Now he just looked confused.

Cain wasn’t amused.

“Ninety-four bottles of beer on the wall, Ninety-four bottle of beer. Take one down, pass it around. Ninety-three bottles of beer on the wall,” Robert continued, much to Cain’s disgust. Seriously, he should just leave them in the middle of the village and it would serve them right. Just because it was going to be freezing tonight, didn’t mean he should be playing babysitter to two grown man-children.

“If you don’t shut up Sugden, the only bottle you’re going to have to worry about, will be the one I’ve shoved down your throat,” Cain threatened, doing his best to not to laugh at Aaron who had wrapped himself around his husband like a monkey and was clinging to his back, each of Robert’s movements carrying the potential to send Aaron flying.

“Not a Sugden, I’m a Dingle I drank from the welly ‘member?” Robert said sounding offended that Cain could forget such a momentous occasion.

Keep reading

Wounds

Aaron isn’t the only one with scars…

The sequel to Scars by @smittenwithsugden

 Inspired by @aarondingel and her lovely head canons.

Thanks Matty (@bluewinseverytime) as always you make everything better. Any mistakes are still mine to make.

It had only been a few weeks since, that monster, Jason had been released and Robert found himself wanting to spend all his time with Aaron. Even more than usual. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his husband, more that he wanted to be there should he be needed.

Robert would never admit it to anyone but hanging out at the scrap-yard, pulling apart old cars was actually a lot of fun for the most part, especially if it meant he got to steal kisses from Aaron, and even more so if they could get the porta-cabin to themselves.

What Robert didn’t expect was for the wrench he was using to slip and the motion to send him falling into the open cavern of the car he’d been working on. He felt his skin tear, not pain but fire blazing up his arm.

“Looks like you’ve lost your touch,” Aaron joked behind him and Robert heard himself chuckle.

Robert hoped it was just a scratch but his palm felt sticky with blood and his skin was clammy, it felt wrong.  He didn’t want to frighten Aaron but a steady drip, drip and the spots forming before his eyes told him he needed to move, to do something and quick.

“Aaron, don’t panic okay?” Robert said in warning, standing up slowly and carefully pulling his arm out of the belly of the car.

He didn’t want to look at it but he forced himself. It looked so much worse than it felt and it felt pretty damn bad. The skin was flayed apart from wrist to elbow and he could feel the blood as it pumped out and down his arm. So, he must have hit an artery then.

Aaron’s face was a white as a sheet and Robert knew it was shock, he tried to get Aaron to sit down but found himself being forced into a chair instead.

Robert tried to remember everything he knew about first-aid while his husband rang for an ambulance. Something about pressure and raising the wound above his head but Robert was struggling to keep his head off his chest, so that might be beyond him right this minute.

Robert knew it was bad when Aaron stripped off his top leaving his husband naked from the waist up, he wrapped it around Robert’s arm. His scars on display, Aaron begged and cursed Robert in the same breath.

“Don’t cry Aaron, it’s just a little scratch,” Robert said, wanting to stop the panic on his husband’s face.

“You were only ever meant to have one Robert,” Aaron said placing his hand over Robert’s chest where the scar of his near death experience resided. “Only one.”

Robert tried to stay awake, he promised Aaron that he’d never leave. Messed up forever he vowed just before he slipped into unconsciousness.

A beep was what woke him.

A heavy weight on his thigh pulled at him dragging him closer to awareness. Robert looked down to find Aaron there looking back at him, hand stoking his leg.

“I didn’t think we would get here in time. It was bad Robert they’re saying possible nerve and muscle damage. The word rehab has been used a lot,” Aaron said his words sounding harsh but Robert knew it was because he was scared. “147 stitches, Robert.”

“Are you okay?” Robert asked feeling the urge to check for himself.

“Robert, yes you idiot,” Aaron replied sitting up, he pressed a kiss to Robert’s forehead and placed a gentle hand on Robert’s chest. “One.” Aaron moved his hand so that it hovered above Robert’s bandaged arm, “Two, just two Robert. Okay?”

Robert reached out with his good arm and tangled their fingers together. “Okay, just two,” he promised, nodding and it sounded a lot like ‘I love you’.