haitian babies

BLACK PAIN

Today I was driving to the playground with my two nephews in the back seat and the minute I saw a police officer get behind me, my soul literally left my body. I slowed down and kept looking in my rear view mirror at the cop. Once he sped past me, I felt at ease but still scared. Later today I came home with that experience still in mind and sat at the edge of my bed and just cried. I cried because in 5 months I’ll be bringing a black child into this world & I can’t stop thinking about all the problems they will encounter bc of their skin color. I know as a child I used to hate my dark skin and hair. I went through a huge identity crisis and it took years for me to love being black and I never want my child to experience anything like that. Being black in this country you will experience something. I cried bc no matter how much love I give them, this world will tell them their ugly and less than. No matter how much I value them, this world will tell them other wise. I cried for the black mothers who have lost their children to modern day lynchings; becoming a mother is so exciting yet Scary bc I’m not ready to even have that conversation with them. I cried for the little black girls and black boys of this country. I cried bc black life is so fragile. It’s 2016 were literally at an all time high of racial tension, this years election puts me even more on edge, & I’m brining a child into that. It’s hurts so bad to see my brothers and sisters in pain, to see all the racism, the videos every day on my timeline of racial abuse. IT HURTS. And all I can do is cry for my unborn child.