hairy as hell

Shit you hear in the Ravenclaw common room at 3am:

How do spells even work since we can do magic without using incantations or even wands? How do you create a spell? Incantations are probably 100% bullshit since wizarding communities from each country all have their own. So like, are incantations even necessary? Or have we just been conditioned to believe they are? Spells are fake, Susan. What’s stopping me from creating a spell that can maim people and have the incantation be “pygmy puff”? WHAT’S STOPPING ME SUSAN? Imagine creating a spell that can, like, blow up people or whatever, and making the incantation “Dumbledore’s Hairy Dick”. Hell yes I fucking would, Susan! Imagine Death Eaters running around just shouting “Dumbledore’s Hairy Dick” at people. It would be hilarious Susan. Anyway nothing is real and I’m going to bed. ‘night, Susan.

Random PSA

To my fellow ladies, cis, trans, or anyone hoping to appear ‘feminine’:

I am a cis woman and I am hairy as hell. I shave my arms, pluck my beard, moustache, eyebrows, and even sideburns. Perhaps I am 1/8th yeti. When I was a pubescent child-thing, other children would ask why my arms were so hairy. Why my legs were covered in black dots despite my shaving [ the large black roots showed through my translucently pale skin ]

Yet also, the top of my head hair is thinning. I am using Rogain for women.

MY POINT IS: Whether you shave or pluck or don’t, if you’re naturally hairy- you’re just hairy. Being hairy doesn’t make you masculine or ugly. 

If someone says otherwise, they’re probably trying to sell you something.

I was a bit of a late developer, and everyone was saying, ‘Whatever you do, don’t shave,’ and I hadn’t really started shaving. I remember rubbing the soot from a kettle on to my bumfluff to make it look more like I had a beard.

Rory McCann’s description of himself, The Guardian, 29 March 2013.

Animals’ friend Jehan who keeps involuntarily suggesting new ways to commit crimes to his boyfriend Montparnasse. That is, stealing animals.

“Cats are just so cute and majestic at the same time,” Jehan says in awe to Montparnasse, looking at a black kitten crossing the street like the thunder. Next morning, he finds a cardboard box with 5 or 6 tiny black kittens inside who look suspiciously similar to the ones he saw in the cat shelter the other week. Jehan doesn’t know if Montparnasse adopted them or stole them from the shelter - but he doesn’t ask, he keeps them gladly and lovingly.

“Wouldn’t you just love riding wildly on a wonderful steed? The wind in your hair, the sensation of freedom…” Jehan sighs dreamily during a trip to the countryside. Apart the “riding a wonderful steed” bit, which Montparnasse took a little, uhm, figuratively right there and then, the next morning Jehan meets Montparnasse at his door riding a beautiful silver horse, suspiciously similar to the one they saw in the stable of the farm they visited, but Jehan doesn’t ask - he has a lot of space in the big park behind his house.

And after that time when they were watching a wildlife documentary on TV, the next morning, out of the blue, a real-life, hairy, sleepy, cute as hell, friggin’ *sloth* is on the magnolia tree in Jehan’s garden. Said sloth looks suspiciously similar to the one they saw at the zoo, but Jehan is used to that by now. He calls Montparnasse on the phone telling him to come to his place, and by the time he opens the door, the little sloth friend is hugging Jehan’s torso for dear life, as if hugging a tree trunk. “We’ll try to keep it, I guess,” Jehan says without blinking.

(The problem is, now Jehan would like to watch Bringing Up Baby on TV with his boyfriend, but after that, he’s not sure he’s ready to welcome a flesh-and-blood leopard cub in his house. Yet.)

can we normalize body hair on women?! lyk i should not have to feel insecure about my body being in its natural state!! men literally walkin around hairy and happy as hell not giving a fuck lmao and we out here breaking our backs for what?!!!!!!!!!!!!! normalize being a natural woman 2k18!!!!! if he don’t luv yo hairy 🐱, he don’t love u!!!

If you feel feminine, then embrace yourself.

So I’ve heard about several people mentioning that they feel too masculine to be embrace their feminine side, despite their desire to become less macho and to fit into the flamboyant lgbtq culture. I just wrote a short thing today about the issue relating to that, and how one can do things to improve their look if that is truly what they desire, as well as how to come to terms with who you are, what you look like, and how it relates to being you.

So say a man is really masculine. Like stereotypically masculine in terms of what modern society tends to envision. I’m talking the square jaw, hairy legs, broad shoulders, heavy-set eyes, big bushy brows, loads of body hair, big hairy feet, big hands… hell I could go on forever XD. You get the point. Let’s say there’s this one guy that has all of those attributes, but is not comfortable with them and wishes they were different. He wants to embrace his feminine side, or at least embrace his feminine qualities to a certain degree. What does he do? He is self-conscious about wearing different clothes or shaving his legs, or growing out his hair… and he doesn’t think that he would look good like that, so he doesn’t bother to change, despite how hard it is for him to try and cope with what he was born with. What should he do? This is a simple answer to a simple question.

The answer is always embrace yourself first. Don’t think about things too much. Act on what you know is going to allow you to feel true to how you were born. It is entirely understandable if a guy wants to appear effeminate but doesn’t feel he is capable of doing it. I myself feel similar at times. I’m an acrobat. I’m pretty damn buff, and I can’t wear everything that I would ever want without it barely fitting over my super broad shoulders. There are things one can do to make it easier though, if one feels the need to act. There is not always a need, but it depends on the person, and how dedicated they are to appearing a certain way. Below are a few tips to those of you who may be struggling with fitting into your idea of the stereotypically feminine aesthetic or the aesthetic/style of an androgynous male.

1. Completely shave all of your facial hair, wash with a soft soothing soap, and then apply a good quality moisturizer (preferably oil free, especially if you have issues with acne).

2. Grow your hair out and only shampoo once a week maybe two. You can go without shampooing for a long time. It sounds gross, but it’s better to do conditioner scrubs more often. Shampoo can be insanely damaging to your hair, especially in the long run, and you can preserve your hair and keep it free from split ends for several months if you take a break from all that shampooing. Conditioning more often will only strengthen your hair. Avoid dyes and heat as well. Wear a shower cap if you’re taking a shower and not conditioning or shampooing your hair. The less exposure your hair has to that degree of heat the better. If you take cold showers then you are fine. Just remember that, if you want to grow you hair out really quickly. Stay completely natural, and then worry about doing crazy and colorful things to it after you have it at your desired length. You will likely regret it if you slow it down.

3. Shave your legs. Use plenty of shaving cream/conditioner/soap, or anything that works like a lubricant. Shave upwards against the hair to get the closet shave. Shave gently to avoid razor burn.

4. Learn how to correctly apply makeup that contours your face according to how it is uniquely shaped. With enough practice, contouring with makeup can transform your look to a point where you can look like an entirely different person. Make sure to use makeup that doesn’t irritate or promote acne. Good quality makeup will often be more expensive, but it will sometimes come in larger quantities and will likely be well worth the expense. You should learn how to correctly apply eyeliner, mascara, foundation, powder… all that stuff. You don’t need everything, but it is good to know how to use it all in case you ever feel like switching up your style a little bit. Makeup is like clothing. You can do so much with it, and you’d be amazed at how well you can change your entire appearance with just a few slight adjustments when you apply it. Watch YouTube tutorials on makeup. There are a gazillion tutorials relating to makeup, and many of them are quite good. I recommend Joseph Harwood. He is an androgynous makeup artist who is basically able to transform himself into anyone he wants through contouring, shading and a wide variety of other techniques relating to the art of makeup. He is AMAZING XD.

5. Pick clothes that contour to your body, and that give the illusion of a slimmer more curvy figure. A lot of this will take personal experimentation and finding the clothes that work for you. Ask around for help from people who are good with fashion and are willing to help you. You can always ask me though too.

Ask me any questions anytime! Sometimes I get insanely busy and it gets really hard for me to find time for social media. Sometimes I can’t get back for days and occasionally even weeks. Lol I know it sucks… but that’s what you get when you are trying to go to college, maintain a farm, work two jobs and record your music all at the same time, all the while living an hour and a half out of the city… But I will do my best to post stuff and answer questions as often as I can! I hope you all are doing well. There are plenty more posts to come. =^-^=