It’s fascinating how our brains are made to recognize someone’s gender. Although this whole gender-identifying aspect can be a complete hurdle for trans and non-binary people in general. I’ve always tried to put myself into a cis person’s shoes first. When you interact with someone, they look at you and they will tag your gender based on your appearance, so it’s important to take care of every single aspect in order to be correctly tagged as a male. Otherwise they will either tag you incorrectly or be extremely confused. That’s what I experienced in my very early phases of transition where I did not really know much about how to pass properly. I did plenty of researches on the Internet and did a lot of experiments that I am going to share with you in this post, hoping that they are going to be useful for someone who is experiencing the same situation.
1. Get a short haircut
We all know that there are indeed a lot of hot dudes with long hair who look extremely handsome, but let’s not forget that they have those secondary sex characteristics that pre-T guys currently lack. And anyway, shorter hair is better and easier to take care of. But that’s just my personal preference. Also, don’t forget that not all short haircuts are meant to be masculine. That’s why your hair stylist should be aware of it and not try to emphasize certain characteristics that we are actually trying to hide.
DON’T shave your whole head. I highly recommend haircuts with shaved sides. They are trending, attractive and most importantly, they give you a more masculine appearance. This is my current haircut:
This type of haircut requires some daily styling though, but I consider it to be worth it. I personally pass a lot easier ever since I got it.
2. Don’t forget about your eyebrows
Your eyebrows can make a HUGE difference. Thicker eyebrows can easily give you a more masculine appearance. You can use an eyebrow pencil to give them a form of your preference. But be careful to not exaggerate either, make sure you still maintain a natural look. Try to not put too much pressure on the pencil, otherwise your eyebrows will rather look fake. Having plucked them in the past can be advantageous since the hair would grow back even thicker.
3. Bind your chest unless it’s already flat
… but don’t forget about Rule #1: DON’T. EVER. USE. ACE. BANDAGES. If you do, take them off RIGHT NOW. It can seriously damage your health and I doubt you want to end up in hospital with a broken rib.
If you can’t afford a binder that was especially designed for this purpose or need a temporary binder until you get your „real” ones, I have a cheap alternative for you. But please note that this might only work for small-chested folks. It seems to work fine to me, but I can’t guarantee that you will get the exact same results since your body type might be different. Either way, you can always try to improvise and see what would fit you better or ask me if you would like to get more ideas. All you need is: - a body swimsuit - 2-3 shoulder pads - basic sewing skills - (optionally) a smaller waistband that you could wrap around your chest (it is to flatten the nipples correctly)
… and behind the curtains:
Basically, all you need to do is to first take the swimsuit and mark the area where the shoulder pads should be tied to. Yes, the shoulder pads will go under the chest. The amount of pads you need to use depends on their thickness and on your chest size. It will give you a bit more buffed look, but it does a great job at hiding those unwanted curves. The suit is designed to flatten it a bit more, so you can have some interesting results. Personally, I can wear it all the time without a single issue. I even cycle in it and it has never been a problem. The material of the suit also allows your skin to breathe, so there’s pretty much nothing to worry about, health-wise. I cut the whole bottom part that covered the intimate body parts so that I wouldn’t have to take the whole suit off or put the bottom part by side whenever I wanted to use the toilet. Indeed, you need to „sacrifice” the suit if you want more comfort. It isn’t perfect, but it can be a great temporary solution until you get the actual binders. Speaking of bottom parts, let’s proceed to the next step:
Even though my psychologist was like „why have something between your legs, it’s only getting in your way”, I still consider packing to be an important aspect in passing as a male. If you go out and start observing people, you will notice that guys do look like they have something inside their pants, while ladies don’t. Packing can vary depending on every individual’s preference or budget. Personally, I find silicone packers to be useless unless they have an STP (stand-to-pee) function. Because come on… nobody is going to check what you actually have inside your pants while walking on the streets. This part is to rather deal more with your own body dysphoria other than just passing. So just sticking a pair of socks inside your underwear is probably not very confidence-boosting and if you stick too much inside then you might rather end up with an awkward boner effect instead. So whatever you are using to pack, make sure it’s not too big and not too long. With some more creativity you could even create your own STP device using a tub. But maybe that’s already not worth the effort anymore, as you can nowadays find some great STPs at affordable prices, that would cover both packing and peeing.
5. Dress up properly
Clothes are one of the (less important) aspects that people look at while trying to identify someone’s correct gender. However, not all male clothes will also make you look more male. I personally recommend wearing darker clothes because they can easily hide certain unwanted shapes. Avoid wearing clothes that are too tight but also the ones that are way too loose. Pay attention to short sleeves, they can give you an appealing look if they fit you like a glove.
6. Get some facial hair - optional
Wait, facial hair without T? How? Well, it’s not going to be a real beard and although I mentioned that this step is optional, it can be quite important to those whose face shape could be an issue for passing as a male properly. Using make-up elements will not give your beard a natural look at all, so you should consider using your own hair for it and spirit gum. Once you go get your haircut done, you can ask your hair stylist if they could give you your hair rests. The beard can’t be a big one so you are not going to need tons of hair for it. Make sure the hair bits are cut very short though. Then, apply spirit gum on the area where you want some facial hair, then use a (preferably make-up) brush to stick the hair bits to your face. Repeat the process until the area is covered properly. Don’t expect excellent results at your first try. It takes time and practice to build an authentic beard. Using spirit gum is nice because it can even last days on your face (although you might have a few hairs fall off, but no big deal). Make sure you are not allergic to it though.
This is my current beard, keeping it simple:
But you can also have it only on the sides (the below picture shows how durable it can be, I was already having it for like a week - and only then it was starting to wear off):
… or a complete chin strap:
7. Work out
Make sure you are always in shape. Start doing a certain sport or go to the gym, it will definitely help you feel better and it’s very important in order to be able to pass more easily. Also, an athletic look is always more attractive to the eye. *wink*
8. Behave like a guy
This is already obvious enough. Be careful at how you walk and how you sit. Use a men’s body spray regularly and start using the men’s restroom unless you already do (also don’t forget about the men’s restroom etiquette: get in, do your job, don’t look around too much, leave). Practice your voice a little and try to speak deeper, using your diaphragm could help. DON’T START SMOKING!!! Really, smoking only has negative effects - it can increase the risks of having certain complications if you consider taking T in the future. Apart from that, you’d stink from miles away no matter how much deodorant you use. I highly discourage it. And most importantly: Don’t be ashamed of yourself! You are a human like all of us and thus you have equal rights, nobody has the right to bully or discriminate you. Those people don’t deserve any attention.
That’s it for now! These are pretty much the most important aspects you need to consider in order to successfully pass as a male in public. I hope you enjoyed reading and eventually found some remarks to be helpful if you are in the same situation.
Awesome. Cutting my hair was liberating for me, but I grew up in a “long hair is a woman’s crowning glory” crowd.
It’s weird how one ends up rebelling. My mother had shorter hair than my dad (the tag-mentioned hippie) for pretty much my entire childhood, and she kept my hair short for convenience, and then I grew it out as soon as I could. I’m not sure I thought of it as gendered at all until I realized my first boyfriend did.
I did short hair for a while (starting right before I broke up with him, actually…), and I don’t dislike having it, but
basically haircuts cost money and require talking to someone with their own gendered expectations.
The Abrasax siblings are literally dripping with bling. They sparkle more brightly than Edward Cullen could ever hope to. Since the designs are rather beautiful and potentially illuminating, I felt it worth posting caps/composite images of some of their most striking pieces.
Kalique’s jewellery is all about femininity and beauty, and she most notably wears dragonfly ornaments in-keeping with her sigil. She wears the most understated jewellery imaginable after making herself young again, and I expect that was done to create a positive impression with Jupiter - it’s more in-line with Jupiter’s humility than the elaborate crowns and gaudy decorations she wore before.
Titus wears silver jewellery almost exclusively, and while it’s somewhat hard to say with certainty his jewellery appears to emulate his dragon sigil - as 4cometrising pointed out, the … thing in the left-hand image looks something like a dragon’s carcass. Titus is relatively understated with his jewellery, and it’s significant that he tones it down when he’s with Jupiter - like Kalique he appreciates that she’s humble and wants to endear himself to her. He also wears a ludicrous ruby-studded hair-clip at the wedding, but I can’t get a decent cap of it. That doesn’t suggest anything more than his requiring a haircut, but it amuses me deeply nonetheless.
Balem’s jewellery is pretty much all gold and is very abstract in design - I expect that this was a very deliberate choice. While his siblings have dragonflies and dragons in their jewellery, Balem has … lines. It indicates that he suffers from a poverty of imagination, which makes sense given that he’s basically an intergalactic number-cruncher who worships at the altar of capitalism (and his mom, naturally).
In the 1990s, you weren’t a dreamy dude unless you sported the classic middle-parted and shaggy hairstyle known as the butt-cut (or the mushroom cut or the bowl cut or simply ‘curtains’ as it’s known in the UK). It was a hairstyle worn by all of the top 90s teen idols and most likely, the hottest boys in your grade in middle school. Let’s take a look at the 12 Most Iconic Butt Haircuts of the 1990s.
Tyler was very particular about his hair, and since he hasn’t seen his mother or anyone else who could do a decent job of cutting it, it was too long for his liking. He was sitting in the courtyard, mumbling to himself “I require a haircut, I require a haircut,” and running a hand through his hair.