It’s 2005 and I am 7, and my mom does my hair up in little braids with bright beads and barrettes that match my clothes. My teachers complain that they’re distracting. My mother tries to reason with them that braids are just about the only to manage my hair. They don’t care. The seed is sown.
It’s 2006 and I start getting my hair pressed. My Sundays are spent with aloe vera leaves pressed to the burns on my neck. I start to hate rain and develop a fear of heat tools that lasts to this day.
It’s 2008 and all the girls at school brush each other’s hair. Becky asks if she can brush mine. I want to fit in so I tell her yes. I want to disappear when she runs away yelling to the class that I have grease in my hair.
It’s 2008 when I ask my mom why my hair isn’t like the other girls’. She tells me it’s just how I am, and that my black hair is nothing to be ashamed of. I want to tell her she’s wrong.
It’s 2009 and I sit on the floor in my living room crying as the chemicals burn my scalp but I don’t move until twenty minutes have passed. After its been flat ironed it’s silky and straight - but it’s not straight or silky enough, not white girl straight. I touch the chemical burns on my scalp and wish I had left the perm on longer.
It’s 2010 and I’m three weeks late on my perm. That awful, bushy new growth is starting to grow under my perfect straight hair. I hate it. I think it’s ugly and dirty and I wish it’d just go away. I remind my mom to grab the extra strength relaxer.
It’s 2011 and I’m going through my scene phase. I want nothing more than to tease my hair and put it into backcombed pigtails and clip dream catchers into it. But I can’t. It bushes out at the slightest hint of moisture and tangled in the bat of an eye. I hate my hair in both its natural and treated forms.
It’s 2013 and my hair can’t take anymore. It’s damaged beyond repair and I’m forced to cut all thirteen inches off. I’m left with the natural hair I’ve hated my whole life. I cry for weeks.
It’s 2013 and my first healthy curl has appeared. I think it looks pretty. For Christmas I wish for more.
It’s 2015 and I have a fro as big and round as the sun. My curls frame my face like laurels. I put on my hoop earrings and love how I look.
It’s 2015 and I feel the need to reinvent myself. I cut it all off again, from twelve inches to three. I cry for days.
It’s 2016 and my curls are more defined than ever. My natural hair is my glory. I style them into a flat top or a coiff or whatever I feel like. I consider growing them out again.
Your hair journey will not always be pretty. It will not always be healthy. You will not remember all of it fondly. But no matter how rough or how long, it will always be worth it.
FLAT MESS TO FAB FRO : How I take care of my hair
04/07/2014 ► 07/30/2015
A post about -almost-
everything about my hair ! In this post, you’ll be able to know
the phases I’ve been through to get my hair all healthy, then my hair
– Going Natural
used to hate my curly hair, like most of curly girls I would say. My
cousin offered me a straightener for my 14th
birthday and made me swear to use it for special events only. It was
the case, though. I’ve used it for my birthday, it was my first time
ever seeing my hair all straight and flat like pastas. But, people at
school were complimenting me on my long straight dark hair, saying
how much I look better. These same people used to bully me because of
my natural curly hair, and the fact that I was half Black (it was a
catholic school where I was the only « person
of colour »),
but that’s another
story. I was so happy
to receive COMPLIMENTS from people who were hating on me since day
one, to see these White boys trying to approach me in a seducing way
and all, asking me to hang out…you know, that I began to straighten
my hair once to twice a week.
moved to another city, a bigger city in fact where there were much
more diversity. But, every Black or Mixed girl was
straightening/relaxing their hair, wearing straight weave.
graduated to High School. Unfortunetely, it was a little High School
-but its reputation was really good-. One more time, I was one of the
rare coloured person. During my first year, I realised that my hair
was damaged. But I wouldn’t let my curls take a rest. I’ve cut my
hair -not that much
comparing to my big chop-,
it was my first time ever cutting my hair. My hair was wayyyy more
healthier, but I couldn’t let my curls appear.
I was 16, I began to be more curious about things that were
surrounding me. I began to be curious about my African side, that
I’ve always wanted to deny. I’ve fallen in love with my own culture,
and since that moment I started to embrace my Black features more
than ever. I decided to stop using my straightener during Summer
2013. But it was too late, my hair was fried to the max. My hair was
kind of straight, but in a really mysterious way … my curls were
non-existent, my hair was flat, wavish, my ends were horrible. I
realised the impact of 2 years of trying to hide my beautiful curls.
I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t know how to take care of that mess
that was on my head ! Then, back to school, I wanted to get a pixie
haircut in order to start all over again. I couldn’t trust the
hairdressers of my city; they were White, and didn’t know anything
about Afro Hair. Everytime I would visit one of them, I could see
their faces looking at my hair like “how am I supposed to style
that shit ?”, literally. Nobody in my family wanted to cut my hair,
saying how I will regret it after. I started to transition SERIOUSLY;
I was doing homemade protein masks once a week, then I was using the
which was awesome on my poor curls who were struggling to pop. I was
using a really special technique to curl my hair while
transitionning. I was using a handband,
placing it on my head, and I would just wrap my hair arround it. If
you want to try it, you should be able to find loads of tutorials on
YouTube. The results went quickly, I was really happy. But not as
quickly as I wanted. In February 2014, I decided to pass the step of
the big chop, finally ! I just took my pair of scissors and cut my
hair quite randomly to be honest, hopefully the shape was pretty nice
! I went to my bathroom to wash my hair… right after, my curls were
popping like … damn ! I was so surprised, I didn’t even know my
“real curls” were looking like that, even though they were a
little weak and not as tight as now. At this point, I was altering
between protein and moisture. But my hair was so short, I was too …
“shy”… to appear with my hair down in public. It was still
pretty flat, but my curls were alive and almost healthy ! I was
always wearing various protective styles, except the week-end. Until
July, my hair has grown and was easier to “assume”, if you want
to. Plus, my curls were tighter. In August, my hair was completely
healthy, and beautifuuuul. I was so happy. Since August, I’m just
letting my hair grow. But, as you can see, I don’t have that much
tips for my ladies who are transitionning. I was just waiting mostly,
using some proteine and moisture, but that’s all.
By the way, I really advise you to take pictures every month to really see your evolution. It helps a lot because sometimes we have the impression that there is no evolution but when you look at your pictures you see how far you’ve come !
don’t know where to start so I’ll follow my instinct… sorry if it’s
a little messy. Lol.
I do monthly :
: I make my masks. I
don’t buy them. Except for the Hair
Mayonnaise that I was
using while transitionning but I don’t use it anymore. I just use 2eggs
with Olive Oil to
do my protein mask.
When it comes to the moisture,
I use Yogurt,
and drops of Lemon
Juice to make my hair
shines. I put a plastic bag on my head, with 2 beanies (LOL yeah I
look really ridiculous when doing that) to assures some heat and make
my hair infuse all the good nutriments. When it’s time to wash my
hair, I do it with cold
water. When there is
nothing left on my hair, I rince my hair using Mineral
Water with 1
or 2 tablespoon of Vinegar Cidar.
Your hair may smell a little, but when you’ll use your products after
the smell will be gone.
my hair : Well, I
don’t do it monthly. I do it between 2 to 4 months. When I feel the
need to, to be honest. I’m so lazy when it comes to do that.
Personally, I love to twist my hair with some Coconut
Oil on my hands and
cut the end, which should be “thiner”.
my scalp : At the end
of the month, I like to massage my scalp with Coconut Oil, to remove
all the dirt on my scalp (and it’s also soooo relaxing). After that,
I shampoo my hair using the Shampoing
Sunshine Clean Citron Grenade
by Les Secrets De Loly,
I stay a long time massaging my scalp again before focusing on my
hair to remove all the products that it could have accumulate during
the month. After that, your hair and your scalp is all pure and ready
for another month !
I do weekly :
: I co-wash once to
twice a week. I’ve just remarked that I tend to wash my hair more on
Sunday and Wednesday. But, sometimes I do it another day, depending
on the circumstances. I usually do it the evening, so I can let my
hair airdry and pineapple it to stretch it, and be ready the next
morning. That’s the best option for me, personally. I don’t wash my
hair and my body at the same time. I start with my hair. I just bend
over my bathtub, so my head is “reversed” (I do the same thing
when I wash my mask, by the way). I do this because I want to avoid
having spots on my back, because the products you use stay on your
skin and the back is the space I tend to forget sometimes while
taking a shower. I don’t touch my hair, I don’t try to detangle them
before applying the Too
I let the products on my hair for few minutes before detangling my
hair using my fingers, simply, or a wide tooth comb when I find it,
lol. I rince with cold water. Then, I crunch my hair and put a
t-shirt as a turban on my head. I let my hair dry a little in it, so
during that time I can wash my body, wash my face, do my make up, put
my clothes… After that, I can apply my Lait
by Les Secrets
a little bit of Confident
blended with Rockin
both from Jessicurl,
and seal everything with some Oil (Almond,
it depends of my mood,lol). Then, I let it airdry. When my hair is
like 90% I like to use a blowdryer (not hot) while shaking my head,
to not have my roots “stuck” to my scalp, and encourage the
volume of my hair. After that, I can use a pick and comb through my
roots to maximise the volume. Et voilà !
I do everyday :
my hair before sleeping :
This is my technique to sleep while not crunching my poor curls
against my pillows, since I move a lot when I sleep. I just take a
satin scarf that I wrap arround my head and I tie it on the front. I
helps stretching my hair, and the next morning my hair is longer and
even bigger !
my fro :
After the night, comes the morning, when your fro has been enduring
all your movements during the night. To refresh my fro, all I do is
putting some cold water on my hands, then I -kind of- massage my
scalp. After that, my hands still a little wet so I take advantage of
that to reshape quickly my fro and the wild curls. Finally, I put
some moisture back on my hair, but not too much because I don’t want
the products to weight down on my hair. I spray my hair with cold
water lightly, I put my Lait
by Les Secrets
and my favourite oil in my fro, especially the “outer” curls
which tends to be drier than the rest.
Hope I didn’t forget anything … I hope it was clear too !