Sonny Franzese was a member of the Columbo crime family. It is estimated that he has killed between 30-50 people. At one point, Sonny decided to share some tips with a newly inducted Columbo crime family member, but that new member was actually working with the Feds and recorded said conversation. Some of the killing techniques shared by Sonny included:
-he would put clear nail polish over his fingerprints before killing anyone to avoid leaving prints at the crime scene
-he would always wear a hair net to avoid leaving hair at a crime scene
-he would use a kiddie pool to dismember a corpse in, dry body parts in a microwave and use an industrial grade garbage disposal to dispose of the corpse.
Amongst the many theories that abound about the identity of the person who brutally tortured and killed Elizabeth Short aka ‘The Black Dahlia’ in January 1947, one in particular stands out; that Elizabeth Short was murdered by a jealous female lover or spurned wife.
Despite the vast majority of violent murders being committed by men, there are a number of indications that suggest the killer was a woman. These include:
- When it was discovered, Elizabeth Short’s corpse was discovered in two halves. It has been theorized that a body in two halves would be easier for a female to handle and carry.
- An autopsy revealed extensive mutilation to Short’s genitals, breasts, and face, and the killer had gone to great lengths to eradicate her attractive looks by slashing her mouth from ear to ear. This sort of mutilation is common in jealousy related murders, and women are far more likely to pay attention to facial mutilation than men in violent crimes.
- Short’s hair had been washed and styled after her death, an action that women are far more likely to be proficient at than men.
- A few days before she disappeared, Short told a friend that she had been chased down the street by a woman wearing mens clothes.
- On the last day she was seen, Short mentioned she was going to stay at a friends house over the weekend. The man who drove her part of the way noted that Short had taken no clothes or makeup to her friends house, which may mean that her friend was a female who could have loaned her some, and this same friend could have killed her.
- Short was known to associate with lesbians and frequented a lesbian bar in the year before her murder.
The temples are far from the only players in this international trade.
More contentious is the rise of hair dealers, who travel around Asia and Eastern Europe offering destitute young women a pittance for their locks.In India, they’ve been known to target men, offering them £6 if they persuade their wives to sell their hair.
There have been reports of husbands forcing their wives to do so, and of women being attacked and shaven by gangs. Slum children have been tricked into having their heads shorn in exchange for toys.
‘I was held down by a gang of men who hacked at my hair,’ one girl said. ‘I know of other women who have been blackmailed and threatened.’
IN ONLY FIVE YES FIVE EASY STEPS YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER LET’S BEGIN SHALL WE FRIENDO???
Step one: Choosing the victim!
You don’t really want to murder your next door neighbor because police investigate and question the neighbors and relatives also friends of the victim. Buuut, also don’t murder a person three states over, because then the police can say “Y/N took a road trip on the day before the murder- and that trip was to an area near the crime!” Boom, suspects list+ prison.
Basically, don’t murder your neighbor, but also don’t murder someone that you need a road trip to get to.
Make sure it’s not
because those are the people that people usually murder.
Step two: Precautions and Preparations
Organized murders are always better.
Buuut always have a plan b
Hopefully d and e.
Buy EVERYTHING at least a month in advance
With cash. Things bought in card are tracked.
And!!! Don’t buy everything at once. You don’t wanna be the guy who is at the checkout counter with rope, pliers, garbage bags, and kitchen knives. Just… Don’t.
Don’t forget the cleaning supplies! Hydrogen peroxide gets bloodstains out!
Step three: Method of killing
So you already have
Remember that you also don’t need to kill them at home! Homes have security systems quite a lot of the time.
But!!! Don’t make it a too public place! That’s gonna be important in step four.
Here’s some methods.
Use a thick pillow that belongs to the person, not you… Unless you burn it afterwards. That’s ok. Sometimes, your victim will fake a death. If they suddenly go limp, pinch them really hard and suddenly. If they flinch or tense up at all, keep applying pressure
Not recommended, as its a messy death that lets them scream unless you gag them. Again, hydrogen peroxide. Use an icicle! It melts afterwards, so there’s no murder weapon!
Poisoning is sooo last week. Simply get a hypodermic needle and fill the syringe with air. It mimics a heart attack but can’t be stopped by asprin, so you can even skip step four if you want.
Actually, if you wanna poison, make sure you use a strong poison like ricin. You can coat a needle with it and subtly stab it into someone’s thigh or buttcheek. They’ll never suspect that that person who bumped into them in the crowd was their killer.
Heck, you could just hang them and frame it as suicide.
Step four: Body Disposal
Ok, ok, I admit that this one is a bit overused. But oh well, this is my fave one, so you get a tutorial.
Satellites look for holes or patches of turned dirt that are about six feet long because, well, its suspicious!
Drain and portion the body.
Draining: put the body’s head against the side of the tub so that is is raised. Get a plastic chair, like a lawn chair even, and out the body’s feet and shins on it. Basically, you only want the lower back and butt to touch the floor of the tub. Make a couple slits in the butt and lower back, make sure they go deep. Two things to remember here.
•Blood. Is. Not. Nuclear. Waste. Chill. Please.
•dont feel bad friendo its a body it can’t feel any pain. K???
Ok so then proceed to mix the collected fluids with slaked lime but just a bit! and oxygen producing bleach. Then let it drain some more until you’re sure that there’s no more fluids in it, then sprinkle slaked lime and pour in the bleach.
Portioning is literally cutting it in bits. Nothing much to say except cut with a sharp knife at the joints.
Ok, so back to burial. There are a couple choices for location.
You can bury it in the hole where a casket will be buried soon. Just dig maybe three feet deeper and cover the body with a nice thick layer of sand. When the casket is buried, so will your body. Extremely low chance that the body will be found.
You could just bury it in a wooded or simply non inhabitated place by burying it with the rest of that slaked lime vertically 6-10 feet underneath a dead dog. If body sniffing hounds dig up the dog (or other animal) the police will assume that it’s a false positive and go away, phew.
But you could always mix it with some fish parts and go fishing. Chum the water a bit. Only if fishing’s your thing tho. Idk you might catch a marlin or somethin.
AN IMPORTANT NOTE!!!
THERE ARE SOME BODY PARTS THAT NEED TO BE DESTROYED!!!
Good method of destroying
Why destroying is needed
Knife, sharp shovel, fire
Mix of debris and bacteria is unique
Pattern of rings and swirls is like a fingerprint
Toothpick (fun fact: eyes are mostly liquid on the inside, just pop it like a 🎈.) Fire, knife, fork
Retinal scans, my dear. Also digital face reconstruction.
You want to pulverize teeth and turn them into a powder that you scatter. Dental records.
Fingerprints and debris.
Fire, scissors (both is good)
The same reason you don’t want any of your hair at the crime scene, my dear.
Also!!! If you have the time and the tools, it will help if you cut up the pelvis into many many pieces and bury it separately. Pelvis can I’d gender. Basically, you want this body unrecognizable.
Sorry. I had to make that pun.
Step five: Last regards and rules of thumb
Don’t get cocky. That’s how serial killers get caught.
Wear clothes and shoes that are too big, and stuff the shoes so it isn’t too obvious that they are a different size. It also helps to sand down the soles so that they leave no unique prints. Burn all clothes and shoes after the murder.
Wear a hoodie or other hat so you don’t leave hair at the scene and so the color can’t be id’d. Use a spray on wash out dye in a natural color just in case.
Avoid the news and papers for at least three weeks after your crime, the police use those as tools to psyche you out and make you want to turn yourself in.
Until they find a body, it’s just another dead person.
don’t kill friend
Dry up and bury the body
❝Lies always beget more lies! See through one, and their whole story falls apart!❞ ❝I think I feel a migraine coming on…❞ ❝Is “Huh” the best response you can muster up?❞ ❝Someone has to look out for the people who have no one on their side.❞ ❝Alright! I’ve got nothing to lose! Except for… well, everything!❞ ❝Why do I always feel like it’s the end of the world and I’m the last man standing?❞ ❝I object! That was… objectionable!❞ ❝I like a man with a big… vocabulary.❞ ❝I think it’s high time you went shopping for a better excuse!❞ ❝Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary… feelings.❞ ❝Oh great. Stop the presses. The Windbag wants to talk.❞ ❝It’s never a good idea to reveal your hand to the enemy too soon.❞ ❝My, aren’t you a handsome fellow! I’m afraid I’m a bit flustered!❞ ❝I set my ATM card’s number to “0001” because I’m number one!❞ ❝This photo is worth a thousand words… and they all read “guilty”!❞ ❝I hoped you wouldn’t come. I didn’t want you to see me. Not like this.❞ ❝You will wait…I’m not finished eating!❞ ❝Ladies and gentlemen, if you’re going to plan a murder, you don’t forget the weapon!❞ ❝Doesn’t it look delicious? Care for a bite?❞ ❝Come on, we can talk about you being old later!❞ ❝Wh…Why are you being so mean to me!! What did I do!?❞ ❝Words can not describe how screwed I am…❞ ❝I wonder what happened to that calm and cool composure you had earlier…❞ ❝You really should come with a supply of cheese to match your vintage whine.❞ ❝Don’t think I’m going to walk in your shadow forever!❞ ❝You must find the answer… And you must find it on your own.❞ ❝Wh-What!? You trusted your enemy!?❞ ❝Excuse me, but would you care to die?❞ ❝You’re actually singing…Someone help my poor ears…❞ ❝Well, we know whose milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…❞ ❝Men are like colonies of bacteria. The more heat you apply, the faster they grow.❞ ❝Times may change but people sadly do not…❞ ❝Should I be grateful this coffee’s only hot enough to give me 1st degree burns…?❞ ❝Do you have the slightest idea how many cups you’ve had by now…?❞ ❝AH!!! NOT THE HAIR!❞ ❝Whether you’re a fake or the real deal, we’ll find out soon enough.❞ ❝You can’t just “oops” your way out of this!❞ ❝I’m not sure I like you wagging your finger at me as though I were some hoser!❞ ❝I came to see how our little kitten was doing all alone in the big, scary lion’s den…❞ ❝The only time you can cry is when it’s all over.❞ ❝No, seriously… My heart… It’s aching for you…❞ ❝Could you please knock it off with the cheesy proverbs and illogical metaphors already!?❞ ❝We can’t see the demons that lurk in the night… That’s why humans are weak.❞ ❝Upon meeting a beautiful lady, always ask for her name and profession. That’s one of my rules.❞ ❝Like gum on your shoe, you’re impossible to get rid of!❞ ❝…D-Do I really inspire this sort of frothing desire from the female masses?❞ ❝I-I’m a spoon?! I’m no spoony bard, I’ll have you know!❞ ❝Oh, you’ve got no idea how much I’ve missed that biting sarcasm of yours, sir!❞ ❝Thank god for inner monologue!❞ ❝How long were you in the bath for, if you don’t mind me asking?❞ ❝My, my, my, what a filthy little rogue you are! I know what’s on your mind!❞ ❝Y-Your wound…! It’s bleeding!❞ ❝Isn’t violence against hair a crime?❞ ❝Achtung baby! Today we play it my way!❞ ❝Is that…women’s underwear…?❞ ❝Quiet please… It’s snack time.❞ ❝There are some things you just don’t do! I…I’m pressing charges!❞ ❝Why can’t we have a normal, straightforward killing once in awhile in this country!?❞ ❝Believe me, any comic relief I may provide is entirely unintentional.❞ ❝Welcome back to reality! We’ve been waiting for you.❞ ❝Am I going to have to charge you with invasion of privacy?!❞ ❝Today has gone beyond from the typical “not my day” into the realm of “walking nightmare”!❞ ❝Why does my pain give you delight?!❞ ❝How vulgar! You can’t be interested in such things!❞ ❝Could I see that wonderful smile of yours…?❞ ❝What father wouldn’t risk his life to save his own children?❞ ❝You’re so openly hostile, it’s almost kinda cute…❞ ❝I’m having a really hard time picturing you in line for burgers…❞ ❝Status means nothing to me. Do you understand?❞