Okay, so the whole humans are space orcs/earth is space Australia thing has me thinking: what about grooming/pampering?
Like, a lot of us go to spas/salons (or do the cheaper at home versions) to literally get hair ripped from our bodies using a large variety of different methods, to obtain our own personal desired levels of body hair. And we call it pampering. What if humans are the only ones who do that? Aliens that cut/dye hair, comb/style it in totally unique ways to suit themselves, but pull it out completely? What kind of creature tortures itself like that?
And we have so many ways of doing it. Tweezing, waxing, threading, hair removal creams that can burn your skin to name a few.
Plus there are facials that leave your face red and splotchy for hours afterward because they pick at your skin to remove gunk.
Massages, where in order to feel good they have to hurt you to remove the tension from your muscles, so while eventually it feels good, it hurts first.
We twist ourselves into weird positions to paint our toenails because our knees get in the way (not so painful, but reasonably uncomfortable).
We are willing to sit still for obscene amounts of time to get our hair/nails/make up done, even though humans are notoriously fidgety.
So some aliens at first would probably think we’re super vain (and some humans are), but more experienced aliens would be like:
“no, that’s just something the humans enjoy. It’s how they ‘treat themselves.’”
“But, Skrill, she’s literally ripping hair out of her face?”
“It’s how she gets her eyebrows - how did she put it? - ‘on fleek.’ Compliment them, humans are thrilled when you compliment them when they spend a lot of time on face hair removal.”
Witch Bottles have a historical background in the folk magic of
England and surrounding areas. They were, traditionally, exclusively for
protection. Sometimes FOR witches and sometimes AGAINST witches- and were more
“victim specific” as opposed to the modern use of “household specific”. They
were historically made of glazed stoneware, in a jug-like shape and corked.
Filled with urine, pins, needles, red thread, hair, and wine.
These days however, the term “witch bottle” doesn’t always mean a protective
bottle. Some witches make positive ones for prosperity or good health or love.
Really the only unifying factor is that it something that is for the
“household” more than a single person. It is supposed to be kept on your
property. Ideally it should be buried, although we’ll go over some alternatives
to keep Mother Nature a happy camper!
I think the best method for this is a step-by-step. So here we
Here’s what I used:
Sock (since I’m burying this, I transfer to a sock after mixing all the
ingredients in the mason jar- you can use a coffee filter wrapped up too)
Nails (iron is great, steel is good too- I don’t recommend aluminum unless
it’s all your have)
Cinnamon (you can also include pepper, chili powder, cajun spice, curry
spice mix, anything “spicy” so to speak)
Nettles/burrs (thorns and brambles are another great thing to include)
Garlic (I like to use a whole bulb, but using it ground or diced is fine
Graveyard dirt (this is pretty specific to my practice- feel free to use
regular dirt or sand or clay to just sort of “stabilize” the whole mixture)
Ashes/powder to seal (I use a variation of an Underworld
powder I make- incense ashes of a particular scent you associate with
protection is fine)
A taglock for you and any household members (including pets)
that you are comfortable including. My recommendation is hair. But you can also
use spit, urine, tampons, used tissues (i.e. snot), nail clippings, etc. You
can also use a photo with the person/pet’s FULL name written on the back if a
DNA taglock is not possible.
Combine your ingredients
Put it in the mason jar first- you can transfer to a safe burying
vessel after you’re done. I start with a layer of dirt/sand. Then I do the
nails and nettles, then the garlic bulb, then I do all the spices and the
juniper berries. At this point I put in the taglocks (hair, nail clippings,
photos, etc.) I do another layer of dirt/sand and then cover the top with my
powder to “seal” the protection intent inside.
After that, I focus for a couple minutes, raising my personal energy for
protection and funneling it into the jar. If you have deities or spirits you
worship or work with, you can ask for their blessing at this point.
Shake/Transfer and Bury
This step is pretty simple. Just shake up the jar while you focus
on no one ever being able to fuck with you. It should get solidly mixed
(besides the garlic bulb, hah). Then you want to transfer to your final vessel.
I take the lid off the jar and put the sock over it. I use a sock that’s pretty
close-knit so the dirt/spices don’t fall through (it’s actually a men’s dress
sock). Then I flip the jar over and funnel everything in. I finish by tying a
knot at the top of the sock.
Now you’re ready to bury and activate the bottle! You have a
couple choices here. You can do the traditional: bury on your property towards
the edge. Ideally you want it at a corner. If you want the best protection or
have a large yard (or live next to a graveyard where you do constant spirit
work like me), a bottle at all four corners of your property is ideal.
You can also bury it in a plant pot either inside or outside if you’re worried about
it just being in your yard (or digging in your yard- that can be a problem for
family or landlords!).
And the last option is if you put it in a jar, you can put it in a closet or
cabinet inside your house (symbolically burying it) if you’re in an apartment
with no yard or plants.
Extra Note: On powering/batteries/energy
You witch bottle will need to be replaced frequently unless you
have a power source/battery for the protection energy to stay constant. I use
graveyard/spirit energy for mine and only replace my jars about every 6 months
or longer. Some other energy sources are:
Crystals: you can put them in the jar/vessel or on top, or just tie a
crystal grid to the vessel from your work table
Plants: this is where the plant pot comes it- you can tie it to the plants
energy. You know you need to replace the bottle/vessel if the plant dies.
Moon or sun energy (either directly, or through
water/crystals charged by the moon or sun)
Your own energy: if you’re confident enough in your own energy and know how
to feed it to objects, by all means, just use yours!
Merlin pulled him forwards and touched his lips to his. The suddenness of it, the warmth of it, the beauty of it put fissures in Arthur’s heart, unmade him so that he would never be quite the same again. He shuddered and made a sound that was far too broken for his pride to come to terms with. But that didn’t matter, for Merlin’s mouth moved whisper-soft over his, rubbing at the catches of it, and Arthur leant into it, opening to the kiss, to a brush of tongues, to a nip of teeth.
Merlin’s hands went into his hair, threading through it. They scraped down the back of Arthur’s head, cupping his nape. They cradled the side of Arthur’s face while his mouth opened for a succession of kisses that were as soft as they were heartbreaking.
Send me “/)///v///(\” to see how my muse would talk about yours, to another person. || @youngestwarnersib
“I don’t care if you’re the $!@#% QUEEN of ENGLAND!!! What kind of little BRAT beats up on their ‘friend’ just because she didn’t kiss your stinky feet like a princess?! Especially when that ‘friend” is MYSISTER!! Do you know how hard she’s tried just to get you robots to like her?! How could you be such MONSTERS as to treat someone like that?? Especially HER!!! She’s the best thing I’ve ever had in my whole LIFE and you WISH you deserved to be friends with someone like her!! I’m just sorry all that hard work was WASTED on someone like you!! And if you got off your Teen Beat HIGH HORSE, you’d see that!!”
“Look, Miss Plastic, we Warner kids have one rule and ONE alone…… Don’t hurt someone until they have first, or have acted like they’re gonna. Not ONLY did ya make her CRY, but ya had the GUTS to actually PUNCH her?! Did ya think I wouldn’t hear about it?!?” She takes a deep breath.
“By the way……I mixed beet juice in your shampoo bottle the other night.”
“Hope ya haven’t looked in the mirror lately, though WOW would that be new!!”
And as a closing statement, a solid stomp to her pretty little foot before bolting for it.