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Yuzuru Hanyu and Shoma Uno - 2016 Grand Prix Final

The Don, Part 25

Marcos Alonso scores, 13th minute:

Brother: OH THAT’S THE BEST CONTE CELEBRATION. YOU COULD SEE HIM TAKING THE HEADERS IN HIS OWN MIND AND HE DID IT TWICE.

Eden Hazard scores, 53rd minute:

Brother: Man, great hug by Conte there. I would give all my savings to sit there and get a Conte hug in celebration.

The Don: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24

Welcome to my joke

Brother: Does he mean Minis?
Me: Kanté: Here are some things that are more important:

  • white Minis
  • blue Minis
  • silver Minis
  • red Minis
  • dark green Minis
  • yellow Minis
  • the British flag on the roof Minis
  • the four-door Minis….

Later:

Brother: Arsène said he tried to sign Kanté and implied it was because of money that he came to us. He’s on 110k/wk and drives a Mini. Maybe he prefers a club that wins and Conte over Arsène. Everyone should have signed Kanté for more than we offered him but they didn’t.
Me: I assumed it was because he heard Gary Cahill was planning to install a mini-net in his back garden. Oh, wait, a MINI net; I just got that.
Brother: Kanté: I’ve been here the whole time. Welcome to my joke.

Updated cover photo

Me: Updated cover of Pedro’s log.

Brother: There’s an even better one I can’t figure out how to share. If you can watch the Instagram Chelsea story, then you can see it. I took a screen grab:

Me: That’s like one in the new magazine, except it’s funnier to have the eyes on it. Also the cover story is called ‘Practice Makes Pedro,’ which makes me die a little.

Brother:

  • Pedro: a Kalas act.
  • Pedro goes to Kalas.
  • Pedro: something something class pun.

I bet the third is how they start each feature and eventually come up with a bad pun to match it.

The most pleasant person on earth

Pre-match:

Brother: The Chinese captain looks like the most pleasant person on earth.

Me: I think that’s why they picked her. When you watch their arm-folding line-up, she is definitely the most fun of all of them.

Brother: Her mascot is more intimidating than her.

Me: She’s so nice, she even picked up the coin for the ref.