Can you explain how you would free style? I've been on SA for a bit and it's a waste of time x
GTFO off SA for starters babes! Real talk doe. Here’s my solo freestyling tips ladies that live in large cities!
1) Look like a million bucks. Spurge on a new dress or lipstick to make you feel confident! I always make sure I got my hair done, nails did, everything done BIG before I embark on a solo freestyling mission haha. When I know I look good or sexy, it gives me that extra bounce in my step. .
2) Location, location, location. Ladies, I can’t stress it enough. Unless you live in a rural area, you should know the hottest places SD’s hang at. For myself, I prefer lounges, hotel bars, and the occasionally boutique hotel or cafe. Everyone has different spots, but, for solo freestyling (which I prefer because I’m a loner at heart). Mostly, I stick to my usual spots, but every once in a while I switch it up for fun or boredom. Men are more likely to approach if you’re alone versus a squad of women because of the fragility of the male ego. I’ve freestyled with other girl before yet found most of them boring and got moody if men showed more interest in me cause I got a bombass personality and make people laugh (hairflip). I’ve said it a million times, don’t rely on just being pretty! You gotta let that personality shine! I wasn’t the most confident growing up, but, I faked it until I believe it. Plus, an SD told me once “show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man who’s tired of her…”
3) Make friends with the bartenders. The only reason why I say this is because I used to be one! You got a great resource and wingman behind that bar. They can get you into VIP parties and tip you on celebs coming by. I made good friends with a bartender from Chiltern Firehouse and he always gets me free drinks even when I come with a POT haha. Most of them are used to being mistreated or ignored, so they like being recognized and treated fairly ( I always always tip 20% because I know how much they work). I usually flirt and chat them up right away to get a free drink and never has failed me. Once you start chatting with the bartenders, other patrons sitting at the bar will join in. It’s 100% true fact, others will engage if the conversations are interesting and fun next to them.
4) Make up a story as to why you are alone. Say you’re waiting for a friend but they are having car or transportation issues. Say youve been stood up if you reallllllllllllllllly want men to pity you and get drunk for free.My usual lie is that I’m a flight attendant with Emirates and I work on call so I rarely have time to grab a drink and unwind. That way no one will think it’s weird that I come alone often. Men love flight attendants that I will say! But, I don’t divulge fake details about it and often ask more questions about others ( which is the sure way to get people to like you)
5) Entertain the first man that buys you a drink. Even if he’s not cute, doesn’t look like a POT, or SD, do out of courtesy. Remember his name no matter what and use it because people like the hearing the sound of their own name. While talking to him make sure show off your personality and outgoingness, every now and then, look around the room and lock eyes with someone, smile and return to the conversation. Plus, other men (aka his friends or patrons at the bar) will pay attention and try to get involved in the conversation. A man finds a woman more attractive when others are interested in her as well. It’s like women fighting over a pair of shoes on sale, they only find it alluring because others want it too rather than the actual flipping shoe. When you’re a catch, even if the man doesn’t really want you, he doesn’t want anyone else to… So finesse the guy that bought your drink and then later his crew if he turns out to be salt. Then again, the guys that are going to the venues you’re drinking at should be prestige!
And that’s it folks! Honestly, it too me a while to get better at freestyling alone, but I love it! And I always meet interesting guys, make new friends at the bar, and get a free drink atleast!
You had just been at James’ house, fighting over the fact that…actually, you had no idea what you both were fighting about, and you’re pretty sure he didn’t either, but in a fit of rage he had clearly yelled, “It’s over!” “Fine!” I replied, “I was sick of this fucking relationship anyway! You could barely say we were dating, you were gone all the time!” I stormed out of his house, jumped in my car and literally sped home, tears streaming down my face that were blurring my vision a little. I wiped them away and pulled out my phone and dialled my best friend. “Hey babe, what’s up?” she says. “Remember how I said I couldn’t come to your bash because James was home?” “Yeah, please come!” she says. “Yeah, well I’m coming now. James and I are over.” I said, my voice croaking at the last half of the comment. “Oh…what happened? Are you ok?” “I honestly have no idea and I don’t really wanna talk about it. I’ll be at yours soon” I replied, hoping to avoid conversation about my fresh break up. “Ok babe, but if you need anything, please pull me aside at the party and I’ll talk to you about it.” “If you’re not wasted” I laughed. “True…anyway see you then babes!” Your best friend hangs up the phone and I pump up the radio until I arrive home. I walk into my house and run to my room. I walked to the shower and did everything. After I was done, I did my hair and changed into my outfit:http://www.polyvore.com/geen_titel_24/set?id=194514983 I walked downstairs, grabbed my phone, and headed out of the door. Within 2 minutes, you arrive, It’s only 7pm, just started to get dark and people are already turning up. I walk to the door and it’s answered by my best friend who gives me the world’s biggest hug. “I’m so sorry babe, if there’s anything I can do…” Unfortunately, the captain of the football team at your work (who is already half drunk) over hears her and slurs. “Ohh, pretty boy broke your heart? Let me fix it later, I’ll come get you when you’ve had a few to drink…” “Ok Troy, keep walking” your best friend says. “Look, just have a good night tonight. You can crash at mine and in the morning we’ll eat burgers…deal?” “Sounds like a plan.” The night kicks off, and once your other friends arrive, I start to actually have a good time. I had a few drinks and settle into the night. It’s around 12pm when I’m approached by Troy. “Baby take up my offer from before?” he slurs. “No Troy, I think I’ll be fine.” Despite being newly single, James is still the only boy on your mind. “C’mon baby, you’re single now, I’ll help you get over your famous ex boyfriend.” He says, grabbing your wrist tightly and pulling you through the house; I yelled at him to get off me, but everybody is too completely wasted to notice. He pulls me to the front of the house where only a few people are standing, and the smell of tobacco and alcohol is apparent. He stops me right in the middle of the lawn and drops his drink, grabs my waist and leans down to kiss me. His breath tastes strongly of bourbon and cigarettes. I pull away but he pulls me close again. He moves his hand up my dress and roughly slams 2 fingers inside of me and I cry out in pain. “Help” I pretty much scream, I am crying so it just sounds muffled. “If you scream, it’ll just make it worse…” “Get off her!” a voice behind me, that sounds very much like James, yells. Troy pulls away and a smirk covers his face. “Pretty boy, back to save the day; call the authors, another fairytale is in our midst.” Troy says, pretty much slurring every word he says. “I’m not joking Troy, let her go” James said in his heavy Scottish accent. “What you gonna do if I don’t?” James walks up behind me, stroking his fingers below my back, when I met his family, this was his code-word for ‘stay calm, everything is fine’ so this pretty sure this meant the same thing. “Let. Go” James says in his face, and after Troy refuses yet again, James’ fist connects with Troy’s cheek, knocking Troy to the ground. Usually I was against violence but in this case I didn’t even care, neither did the people who saw. As soon as Troy let’s go off me, my head is against James’ chest, my tears staining the t-shirt under his leather jacket. “Please take me home.” His arms tighten around my torso and he plants a light kiss on my forehead. “Yeah baby, of course I can.” I left my car at my friend’s house and James puts mein his. There is no talking in the car, just silence and the dimmed radio. We arrive at my house and James walks me inside, making sure I arrive to your room safely. I put on your pyjamas, brush my teeth and James puts me to bed. He smiles and goes to walk out of the room but I stoppped him. “James, please don’t go. Please stay with me” I begged, my voice still tired. For a second he stands at the door, hesitating about what to do. “Please stay James” “Ok love, I’ll stay.” He says removing his jacket. He keeps all his clothes on and wraps his arms around you, digging his head into the back of your neck, kissing it the way he knows you love it. “I’m sorry about before. I was just angry, not at you, just at everything. If you want to stay ended, I guess I’ll have to live with that.” “Can we talk about this in the morning? I just want to lay here with my boyfriend” I said, gripping the hand around my waist even tighter. I feel James’ smile across the back of my neck. He turns my head towards him and plants a light kiss on my lips. “I’m not going anywhere baby I promise.” I can honestly say that it is the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a while- knowing I had James arms around me made me feel safe and secure. I got awoken to the sound of James’ phone ringing, but I don’t show any signs that I’m awake, I just curl deeper into the sheets and his arms. “David I’m not coming in today. Because I’m busy…David I’m using up my time off,so please just accept the fact that we don’t have to work even though you’re married to it ok? I’ll speak to you later.” James hangs up the phone and returns to putting his arms around me, nuzzling his head into my neck. “I love you.” He whispers. “I love you too” I whispered back. “Hey, sneaky, sorry if David woke you up” he says, rubbing my temple as I turned and face him. “James, if you have to go into work, go, it’s more important than being here anyway” I said. “Baby, nothings more important to me than you, and we have time off. You’re the most important thing to me.” I sighed and lean up and kiss him. His tongue making a small appearance in my mouth, before I pulled away and digging my head deep into his chest. “I’m sorry for yelling. I didn’t mean what I said…” “Love, I know” he interrupts. “We both said things we didn’t mean. All you need to know is that I love you and I never want anything like that to happen again.” “You didn’t call…why?” “Well, I know there would have been nothing you would have hated more than that, and I didn’t want to make things any worse.” “You know me so well…what did you do? After the fight?” “I honestly sat there, called David and tried to refrain from crying. I came over to your house and your car wasn’t there, so I assumed that you’d be at your best friend’s house, and then I saw Troy practically finger rape you…are you ok after that?” he asks concerned. “Just a bit sore, that’s all.” “I love you so much” he says, “Now get back to sleep, we have 2 whole weeks to spend time together.” My smile turns into a frown. 2 weeks? “2 weeks? Is that all?” “2 weeks in L.A…And then we’re going to Paris and London and Italy and Tokyo…” “Oh…wait what? Define the ‘we’ in ‘we’re’’ “You’re coming with me. Your work will be finished by then, and I realised I don’t wanna go anywhere if I can’t go there with you.” He says looking deep into your eyes. “I love you” “You mean…in 2 weeks…” I stutter, trying to comprehend the fact that in 2 weeks time, we get to go on a trip, literally around the world, with my boyfriend. “In 2 weeks, you and I are travelling the world. You…and me” “Can I scream?” I asked smiling. “Of course” He laughed. I brought my pillow to my face, covering my mouth and muffling my scream, while James laughs at me. He pulls the pillow away and brings me into a sweet passionate kiss. “I love you” I said. “I love you too”
The cable guy showed up to fix our phone line. Older man, completely gray, probably thirty years older than I am.
“I hope that I’m not stepping over a line here, but you look like you’ve been put through hell, everything okay?” he asks me. I’ve done my hair, done my make-up, did everything I could to make myself look human today, but he instantly saw right through it.
“You know, life,” I joke.
He doesn’t laugh, just pauses his work to put his wire cutters on the table and turn a solemn look at me. I curse because I feel hot tears brimming in my eyes. “You got things that make you happy? People that make you smile?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Think about them. Spend more time with them. It’ll get you through it. You’ll be okay. You’re the nicest lady I’ve dealt with all summer, and you deserve better than how you look like you’re feeling.”
How did I find this book? I’m obsessed with this series and those Winston brothers, that’s how!
How’s the cover? I still love these covers. They’re so cute and weird and they really stand out.
Does the title fit the book? YES. FINALLY. It’s both a perfect rhyme and a great descriptor for the plot (I mean, science is tangentially involved, as in Cletus and Jennifer discuss chemistry…and also have chemistry, obvi).
When I first read about Cletus back in Truth or Beard, I could NOT see him being a romantic hero. He was just too…weird? And, listen, there’s nothing wrong with weird. I love a weird character. But he was in weird in a borderline creepy/rude way, and he was constantly described as being kind of unkempt. I just couldn’t see it.
Well, either Cletus grew on me over the course of the series or I just needed to be inside his head to “get” him, but I ended up loving him. I’m not saying I necessarily like him more than Duane, who I LOVE, but I definitely found him more interesting than Jethro. And it didn’t exactly hurt that I found an interview with Penny Reid where she said she thought of him as Chris Pratt.
There were a lot of Chris Pratt gifs I could’ve chosen, but I decided to go with the one that accurately sums up what I would like to say to Penny Reid.
So Beard Science is Cletus’s book, but it’s also Jennifer’s book. Jennifer Sylvester as in the Banana Cake Queen, a character who is mentioned often in the previous book(s). Poor, sweet, emotionally abused Jennifer Sylvester. She works at her parents bakery, where she not only makes, like, a metric ton of banana cakes but also has to be their social media spokeswoman, which involves being permanently dolled up. Basically, she’s the constant embodiment of the Drake lyric “nails done, hair done, everything did.” But she doesn’t even WANT to be doing this stuff; in fact, she’d prefer to be the embodiment of the Drake lyric “sweatpants, hair tied, chillin’ with no makeup on.” How many more references do you think I can make to Drake before this post is over? Probably too many.
Anyway, Jennifer wants to get married–both to get away from her parents and because she wants her own children. She knows Cletus is much smarter than other people think, so she blackmails him into helping her snag a man, even though she has no dating experience.
I love a good “he’s supposed to be helping her/giving her a makeover/teaching her, but then their chemistry is too great to ignore” plot, and this is a good one because the characters are uniquely likable.
Cletus is weird and not at all charming, but it’s obvious how much he cares about his family. And even though he underestimates Jennifer at first, he quickly realizes that she’s much deeper than most people assume.
Jennifer is in such a sad situation (seriously, she’s basically a servant and the entire town thinks she’s an idiot) that she’s just shy of being pathetic, but Penny Reid does a great job of showing her inner determination and Kimmy Schmidt-like positive attitude. Like, Jennifer does this thing where anytime someone insults her, she just pretends it’s a compliment. It’s kind of heartbreaking, and it reminded me of Kimmy saying you can get through anything ten seconds at a time.
Honestly, I liked everything about this book, but here’s what I especially liked:
-Appearances by all the Winstons. Jethro knitting! I just love those brothers and their big house so much.
-BILLY. I seriously can’t wait for Billy’s book. I know Beau’s is next and I’m sure it will be good, but I reeeaaaally need to know what’s gonna happen with Billy and his tortured thing for Claire.
-I keep forgetting when I describe these books that there’s a treacherous motorcycle gang involved, but there is! Which leads to a middle-of-the-woods makeout while hiding from the motorcycle gang.
Penny Reid, you’ve done it again! Next I’m going back to read Beauty and the Mustache, which I’m currently on hold for at the library. If, by chance, you haven’t read any of Penny Reid’s books, she often makes the first book of each series free for Kindle, so keep an eye out! Honestly, I’ve always wondered if this strategy really works, but clearly I’m hooked, so…good marketing.
Heading out of my newly decorated home, which was also new, I tried not to drop the smaller bag which was full of accessories, the bigger backpack was full of smaller clothing items, while I tried to manoeuvre the pile of outfits, their hangers, and my phone - which of course had to be ringing - in the same hand.
I’m a stylist, I was heading to my new client who had a photoshoot. She was a really popular and talented actress, women envied her beauty, men dropped dead wherever she went. Working for her was the best opportunity to make my name known in the industry. Women wanted to look like her, they bought the fashion items she wore like kids bought their candies, every cosmetic brand she worked with had the highest incomes the past years, hence, me being her stylist meant I will be soon known among celebrities and rich people
The photo shoot was hectic - this word may not be enough to describe the chaos going on though, - there were a lot of people, makeup artists, manicurists, other stylists, hair stylists, and other staff needed for the shoot. People were shouting at each other, the photographer was calling me every five minutes to smooth out an invisible wrinkle on my clients clothes. Everytime I was called over she smiled at me trying to comfort me, she saw I was uncomfortable, even though she herself seemed really tired, so I did everything to make her outfit as comfortable as possible.
There’s all this talk of “bad bitches” everywhere. I don’t believe that I am one. Or ever will be. But it appears to be the height of black girl magic these days. I wouldn’t have the first clue how to be a “bad bitch” – I’m figuring out that the traits of one such is supreme confidence, supreme “fancy” (as in hair done, nails done, errthang did), supreme clapback, flawless everything. Sometimes I feel like I will always be disappointing in my blackness and I don’t know how to stop that feeling.
I’m just SO done with everything rn
Christine played with Cody’s hair and did a little bit of flirting when she was married and she was booed more than anyone ever has, got a whole segment about it, and basically was universally hated, but Austin mf FINGERS Liz while he had a gf and there hasn’t been a THING said about it on the show or any actual punishment ???????? I’m soooooo pissed, I truly hate Austin.