hair brained schemes

“Osomatsu is basic and boring :/” look I’m sorry my boy Oso isn’t a walking identity crisis like the rest of his brothers but if you can’t appreciate a laid-back, goofy, mischievous, lazy, honest, straightforward character like Oso without seeing him as Mr. No Personality then maybe you’re not looking hard enough?

Look let me make this a full meta; Oso is at his core the classic, quintessential slapstick cartoon protagonist archetype. He is a Mickey Mouse type, but like, pre-feel-good-family-friendly-face-lift Mickey Mouse. He’s an underdog, a trouble maker, a Pretty Average Guy™, but he’s a bastard, he’s a gambling addict, a lazy good-for-nothing full of hair-brained schemes that are literally more work than actually getting a god damn job. Oso is simple, sure. But that doesn’t reflect a lack of character, that is LITERALLY his character, and it’s balanced flawlessly with random bursts of destructive energy, a balance of lazy air headed bullshit and passionate stupidity. It’s a classic character type but classic is not the same as boring, is not the same as basic, is not the same as unoriginal.

Granted, he shares a lot of these traits with his brothers, but the thing is they’re all like that BECAUSE of Oso, because he was THE dominant personality among the siblings for the duration of their childhood. It’s not the other way around, and Oso does not blend in to the background. He IS the background! And the other five are struggling to get out of that while Oso is laying on the floor scratching his ass and giggling to himself!

What’s really interesting is, in a weird sort of way, it makes Oso kind of an emotional straight man to his brothers. I know that sounds weird but I’m not talking about a comedy straight man. Aside from Jyushi who is in a league all his own, Oso is arguably the brother with the least insecurities and the least weird emotional hangups. Even Todomatsu is so caught up in appearances and “escaping” his NEET status it screws with his generally inflated ego. Osomatsu is extremely straightforward with his feelings, even in episode 24 when he had his little mini-breakdown. I know episode 25 was played off as a joke, but that’s really so typical Oso; completely absorbed in self pity one minute, on his feet and ready to rally an army the next.

I know we as an audience crave depth of character, but just because Oso is a shallow person doesn’t mean he’s a shallow character; and really, he isn’t actually nearly as shallow as he let’s on most of the time. There’s a lot to Oso that makes him interesting, a lot about his “classic” vibe that makes him just as endearing and just as hilarious as the other five oddballs he shared a womb with. Being The Oldest™, being the laziest, being the most honest, being the most bull-headed, being the-idiot-who-lowkey-knows-what’s-up, being the good-natured asshole, being the innocently tactless fuckboy manchild of a human being like…WHAT about that is boring??? All that is boring to you? Look my guy, there’s just no pleasing you then. Oso is swell as hell and I’ll meet you at the flag pole after school if you wanna fight me on that.

Nudge Theory

Characters: CastielXReader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

Word Count: 1465 (Act IV)

A/N: A five act mini-series. The reader and Castiel must work together to solve the curious case of the missing Winchesters. Fluff, smut, and a plot for kicks. Whatever happened to Sam and Dean Winchester anyway? Act IV is conveyed from the brothers’ perspective – their whereabouts and mischievous plotting revealed as the tables are unexpectedly turned. Action-packed fluff-filled conclusion coming your way next week!

Previous chapters:   Act I,  Act II, Act III

(x)

Nudge [verb] –

·       “Coax or gently encourage someone to do something.”

“Y/N sounded pissed,” Dean snickered, tone not at all apologetic for the wild goose chase he and Sam sent you running on for the last couple of days. Driving up to the motel you and the angel were staying in, he set the Impala’s parking brake and smoothly released the clutch.

“Yeah, well Cas didn’t sound too pleased either,” Sam pointed out, groping blindly for his bag in the backseat, “you of all people know he hates being dicked around with. Well-meaning intentions aside, that’s exactly what happened here.”

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Lucifer 2x14 Meta

Uggh, this episode messed me up so bad!

Originally posted by queerlysad

At the end of 2x11, Lucifer gives Chloe a long-winded speech about how he’s not worthy of her. Chloe’s response is, “Maybe you’re right,” and to kiss him anyway. From an audience’s point of view (and Lucifer’s) we never see Chloe express her feelings about their relationship to his face.

What words of affection does Chloe give Lucifer? If you look carefully, her praise of him is all around their relationship as crime-solving partners, not as friends or romantic partners:

2x01: Look, I don’t know what your deal is, but you make me a better detective. And you’ve always got my back. What more could I ask for?

2x07: If I’m gonna take this guy down, I need my partner and that’s you. Lucifer Morningstar.

2x10: Lucifer is the best partner I have ever had. And I can only hope that he can count on me as much as I count on him.

Lucifer really believes that he’s not good enough for her as a romantic partner. His worst fears are confirmed in 2x12 when Charlotte manipulates him into discovering his Father asked Amenadiel to bless Chloe’s mother and create a “miracle child”.

At the end of 2x13, Chloe asks Lucifer if he wants to pick up their relationship where it left off. Vague words, because Chloe is scared of rejection, and by now Lucifer thinks her feelings are fake, a grand manipulation by his father.

Which brings us to 2x14.

Lucifer tries to stay away from Chloe. Maybe he even tries to take his love of punishing bad guys and solving crimes to Las Vegas, where he saves the life of the woman we know as Candy. But Lucifer can’t stop thinking about Chloe. (Or apparently talking to Candy about Chloe and his work and how hellish almost losing Chloe to poison was and how gut-wrentching it was to have to confront his worst fears of being trapped in hell with no hope of redemption was. I have the head-canon that there must have been some grand adventure that really bonded Lucifer and Candy together. I mean he freely initiates a hug with Candy, which we’ve only ever seen him do sincerely with Delilah and insincerely with Dan to steal his badge and gun.)

So yeah, Lucifer is not in a good state of mind and he can’t stop thinking about Chloe, but he doesn’t want to trap her in a relationship that his Dad set up. He concocts this hair-brained scheme to use Candy to push Chloe to drop her pursuit of him romantically. Don’t think for a second that his real motivation was getting information out of Charlotte. That was a nice side effect, but could have been done without Candy posing as his wife.

This scheme is, in Lucifer’s words to Amenadiel, a way to give Chloe back free will. To allow her to make a “choice” about their romantic relationship. It’s a poorly-thought out plan, because how will Lucifer know if Chloe is really acting on her own accord if she chooses a relationship with him? The only way this plan works is if Chloe obviously chooses not to be with Lucifer, defying God’s plan. It’s a false dichotomy where Lucifer has set himself up to lose no matter what.

Lucifer seals his fate by sabotaging his reunion with Chloe by having Candy walk into the station (come on, did you think Candy who is helping Lucifer by acting like his wife would just decide to take her acting gig so seriously that she would waltz into a police station). He really wants to drive home the point that Chloe shouldn’t trust him romantically, which we can see by his excited, “Yes, just friends!” statement and his desire to “get back to the way things were before” they kissed.

But it back fires. Chloe doesn’t trust him anymore, and wants him out of her life. She’s too broken up to tell him that her heart is broken, so the next best thing is to limit her contact with him and fire him from being her partner in crime.

So now you have Lucifer, who is so freaking scared to have a romantic relationship that his Dad set up, who has only been praised by Chloe for being her partner in crime, who has only ever felt wanted and respected by the people at his job, suddenly lose it all.

Is it any wonder that he spends the entire episode trying to prove he’s a worthy crime-solving partner? That’s been the only relationship connection that Chloe has ever expressed affection and appreciation for. Lucifer has never had a romantic relationship before, ever, and sex is off the table, so he goes about proving his worth by desperately trying so hard to prove that Chloe needs his help solving crimes. He has his musical talents, and Chloe did bond with him over piano playing, so he concocts the hair-brained plan to sing a song from her favorite band and catch a killer.

Lucifer’s just so excited when he catches Marla. Absolute joy on his face when he strums her base in the crime lab. “See, the department needs me, including you.” Only Amenadiel finally calls him on his delusions, reminding Lucifer that it doesn’t matter if Chloe was manipulated by Dad into having feelings for Lucifer; her feelings are real and valid in her mind.

So we have the final scene with the killer band member, guitar cord wrapped around Lucifer’s throat, and Lucifer calls out to Chloe in the only way he knows how: by giving up, by acting out, by pre-emptively striking out against someone he’s afraid of being hurt by. “I’m useless to her. The Detective doesn’t need me anymore.” He urges the band member to strangle him or Chloe to shoot him. Chloe eventually shoots the band member.

But what really breaks my heart is when Lucifer complements Chloe on her aim, and she says, “I was aiming for you.” Again, there’s no verbal confirmation, no words of affection other than Chloe touching his face and asking him if he’s ok. They leave it with Chloe telling Lucifer to “not be late” to the precinct tomorrow. Again, she’s letting him back into his work, giving him that inch, but she’s not letting him back into her life just yet. And that is what has me being a very sad fangirl this week.

Originally posted by astrorhea

Woo hoo, Klaroline IS coming! Okay, now I have that out of my system…

I’m back with another fusion drabble. This initial premise is from the 1997 Alicia Silverstone film called Excess Baggage. All italicised text is quotes from the movie (and a bonus Cher quote from Clueless) and chapter title and lyrics from the soundtrack. Thanks also lovely Jo @fanfantasticworld for the awesome cover. 

Trying to get attention from her wealthy, workaholic father, Caroline stages her own kidnapping throwing her into the path of car thief Klaus Mikaelson.

One Headlight

“There’s got to be something better than in the middle
But me and Cinderella we put it all together
We can drive it home, with one headlight.” (The Wallflowers)

Beverly Hills, Los Angeles

“How stupid do you think I am, huh?” He asked pointedly.

“How stupid is there?” She growled by way of response.

“You know, I once stole a Ferrari with a Chihuahua in the back. He made less noise than you do.”

“Are you always this charming to your captives?”

“Only the ones that won’t shut the hell up,” he groaned, changing the radio station to something decidedly less manufactured. When he woke up this morning, the last thing he expected was to have an unexpected stowaway on this particular job.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She demanded, covering her ears as the sounds of Metallica burst through the speakers, filling the car. “I’m a strictly Britney Spears and Taylor Swift kind of girl.”

“Figures,” he scoffed.

“Excuse me?”

“Rich, spoilt brat likes girlie pop music,” he drawled. “How original.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“On the contrary I have learnt more than I need to know about you in the past fifteen minutes because you haven’t stopped rambling in my ear. Trust me, I’m regretting ever removing that gag from your mouth.”

“Well, it isn’t my fault you kidnapped me,” she growled, pulling at the tight restraints bounding her wrists together.

“Yes,” he muttered. “I was the one who threw you in the trunk of your own car. I may be a thief but I’m not into abduction and excess baggage, especially with someone as high maintenance as you, princess.”

“Says the guy with the warm personality,” she shot back. “So, where are you taking me?”

“I was thinking the nearest mall,” he murmured, his eyes trained firmly on the road. “I’m sure you’re just dying to do some shopping or whatever it is you do with your time.”

“So, that’s what you think? I’m just a ditz with a credit card?”

“You said it not me, sweetheart.”

“I don’t want to go to the mall,” she pouted.

“Since when did I become a bloody cab service? Okay, how about a spa? You could get one of those mani-pedi things.”

“A callous car thief knows something about beauty treatments?”

“Now who’s typecasting whom?” He shot back for her benefit. “What can I say, I have a little sister that won’t shut up, she kind of actually reminds me of you, princess.”

“I have a name you know.”

“And I have no interest in knowing it given you’ll be out of the car in a few minutes hopefully,” he muttered.

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Inhuman of the Day addendum - Dhalia 

Rebecca Brown. A young latent Inhuman whose transformation was triggered by way of exposure to the Terrigen Cloud. Terrigenesis significantly altered Rebecca’s physical appearance, changing her into a remarkably beautiful woman. Changing her name to ‘Dhalia Dorian,’ Rebecca parlayed her newfound stunning beauty into a quickly burgeoning career as a Hollywood starlet.  

As time passed, Dhalia discovered that there was much more to her Inhuman gifts. At times of great duress and anxiety, Dhalia transformed into a large, dragon-like creature with increased strength, flight and the capacity to spit fire.  Akin to the Incredible Hulk transformation is caused by intense feelings of anger and fear and Dhalia could not control herself when in this dragon form.  


She became increasingly desperate to find some means of undoing her Inhuman transformation or escaping all that had happened to her.  
Meanwhile, Rebecca’s sister had become distressed over Rebecca’s seeming disappearance.  She hired the private investigator, Jessica Jones to locate her sister.
Jones tracked Rebecca to Los Angeles where she teamed up with her fellow investigate, Kate Bishop  (Hawkeye).
The two ultimately discovered that  Rebecca Brown and Dhalia Dorian were one and the same; and yet Dhalia had no interest in being found or reuniting with her sister.  

Dhalia had fallen in with an LA hustler named Brad who was selling black market life model decoy (LMD) units.  Brad and Dhalia came up with the hair-brained scheme that Dhalia could somehow transfer her consciousness into one of these LMDs and hence escape her Inhuman curse and avoid transforming into her dragon form.  

Jess Jones and Hawkeye suspected a connection between Brad, Dhalia and this mysterious dragon that had been raising amok in the Hollywood Hills.  They tracked the Brad and Dhalia down and witnessed the two having an argument.  Brad’s connection for stolen LMDs had withered and he would not be able to obtain one for Dhalia. She became so upset that it caused her to transform into her dragon form.  

Jones and Hawkeye interceded before the dragon could harm Brad.  Hawkeye was eventually able to talk Dhalia down, assuring her that everything was okay, that no one has been hurt and there was still time to work things out.  Hawkeye’s words helped to put Dhalia at ease and she transformed back into her human-looking form.  

In the aftermath, Dhalia promised to contact her sister and it is assumed that she is continuing to work on efforts to control her anxiety and prevent future transformations into her dragon form.  Hopefully this will not be the last we see from Dahlia.

Mega Prompt Challenge

Note: Honestly this made me want to tear my hair out… but here it is! Let me know what you think! Thankyou to the anon who requested this (slight sarcasm implied :P), and my beta readers, @kaleyana and @dark-angel-deluna

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Routine was not something you had when you were a part of the Avengers. Random missions would pop up left right and centre, pulling you away from whatever you were doing and making it hard to plan things ahead, not knowing whether you’d have to be half way around the world or not. However small traditions did seem to arise within the group, such as you, Bucky and Steve always going out to your favourite diner the day before a big mission, getting some last minute time together in case things went spectacularly wrong out on the field.

That was where you were right now, squashed into a cushy booth beside Steve, as Bucky sat spread out on the seat opposite. “Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.” You grinned, pinching a few of Bucky’s fries from the red basket he had in front of him. “Hey, hands off, you should have ordered your own if you wanted some.” Bucky pouted, pulling the basket close to his chest. “Don’t be an asshole. Asshole. And give me some of your fries!” You moaned, kicking him in the shin and reaching for the basket, earning you one of Bucky’s signature death glares in return. Poking your tongue out at him, you heard Steve sigh beside you, scrubbing his hands down his face. “How did I get stuck with you two children as my best friends?” He muttered, shaking his head as you elbowed him in the side. “She’s the child.” Bucky mumbled, shoving a handful of fries into his mouth as you glared at him. “Unbelievable.” Steve huffed, shaking his head as the two of you continued to bicker. “Look, a distraction!” You exclaimed, throwing your arm across Steve’s chest and pointing towards the counter. “Not gonna work Y/N.” Bucky smiled cockily, crossing his arms across his chest. “Aww you got me there Buck, nothing gets past you.” You sighed overdramatically, pouting before darting a hand out and swiping the basket of fries. “Absolutely nothing.” You grinned, shoving some fries into your mouth. “She devil.” He mumbled, slumping down into his seat. “Bucky, what did I tell you about calling Y/N a devil?” Steve scolded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “That it’s offensive to the devil?” Bucky smirked, earning him another kick to the shin.  “I’ll always love you, you know. Even if you are a grade A jackass.” You smiled, sticking your tongue out at him as he rolled his eyes. “Guys, I didn’t come for a fight. Can you two just act your age.” Steve huffed, once again trying to hide his amusement at your bickering. It was just a usual day out with your boys.

Back at the compound, tensions were growing high. Your teammates were all cramming in some last minute training, or checking their weapons and suits. You, however, were holed up in your room in your comfiest pyjamas, surrounded by fluffy blankets and pillows. Most of your friends wanted to be as prepared as possible for what was to come, but you were under the belief that if this was your last night on earth then you wanted to be as comfy as possible. Talking about being as comfy as possible, a metallic knock against the door had your smile widening. “Come on in Assface.” You called out, hearing a groan from the other side of the door as it swung open. “You know you should really be nicer to your bestfriend.” Bucky smirked as he walked in, closing the door behind him. “Yeah, but who says you’re my bestfriend?” You countered, wiggling your eyebrows at Bucky’s faux shocked expression. “And to think… I loved you.” Bucky sighed, hand clutched over his heart as he took a seat next to you in your pile of bedding. Scoffing, you just shoved him in the side before clicking play on the DVD you had set up. “Don’t touch me… You have wounded me with your mean mean words.” He whimpered, causing you to roll your eyes at his overdramatic behaviour. Despite his words, he put up no fuss when you curled up against his side and leant your head on his shoulder. “You worried about tomorrow?” Bucky whispered as the film played in the background. Sighing, you fisted your hands in his t-shirt, “A little bit…” You murmured, turning to face him, “I’d much rather be fighting bad guys made of marshmallow than those HYDRA goons.” You pouted, feeling the chuckle rather than hearing it. “I can arrange that.” Bucky whispered, hand rubbing comforting circles on your back. “Thanks Buck, but I think I’ll be okay.” You smiled, knowing that no matter what you’d have your friends beside you.

“I broke your nose, and I’m sorry for that. But what you were doing wasn’t fair.” You insisted, alaughing as Bucky nudged you in the side. “For the last time, I won fair and square! Just because you suck at Mario kart!” Bucky laughed, walking down the tarmac with you towards the quinjet. Letting out a high pitched scoff, you swatted him on the arm as he burst out laughing. “Use your words.” He chuckled, as you stalked off ahead, tapping Steve on the arm as you entered the quinjet. “Hey doll.” Steve greeted, looking up from his tablet just as Bucky boarded and you landed a punch to his arm. “Ow! You know she’s getting meaner every day!” Bucky winced, rubbing at the spot you’d just punched. “I don’t know where she gets it from.” Steve said with an eyeroll and a shake of his head. “Where were you two anyway?” Steve asked, side eyeing the two of you as you continued to shove each other back and forth. “Genius over here thought he knew a short cut and ended up getting us lost.” You huffed, sticking your tongue out in Bucky’s direction. “Okay… we take off in 10, check your weapons.” Steve murmured, eyes trained on the pad in front of him with a slight furrow in his brow. “Yes sir, Captain sir.” You barked, throwing a mock salute as Steve rolled his eyes and the rest of your team began boarding the jet.

Ducking behind a building, you bent over yourself as you caught your breath. “Guys, this isn’t working, we need another plan and fast.” Natasha’s voice crackled over the comms, her laboured breathing showing just how run off your feet you all were. “How about if we-“ “NO!” You all shouted as Clint started to suggest one of his hair brained schemes. “The last time we listened to you we all ended up covered in sewage, I’d really rather not stink like shit again.” You huffed, pulling your arm back with a knife at the ready as you heard footsteps approaching. “Woah woah woah!” Bucky exclaimed, blocking your knife swing as he rounded the corner. “Jeez Barnes, I coulda stabbed you.” You sighed, sheathing your knife back in your suit. “Please.” Bucky scoffed, leaning back against the wall and checking his ammo. You two always did make good partners, so it was probably best that you stuck together.

Everything was finally starting to go right for you guys. You and Bucky had taken out your fair share of agents from your spot. Natasha, Steve and Clint had managed to breach the building and were currently clearing it out. And Sam and Tony were taking out the perimeter, making way for the SHIELD agents to come in and take control over the HYDRA resources. “Right, building clear, how’s the perimeter looking?” Steve’s voice crackled in your ear, just as you’d jumped down from the shoulders of the last goon that had tried to ambush you up top. “Perimeters clear, should I tell the cavalry to roll in?” Sam’s voice joked, gliding around the building. “Quit showing off Wilson!” Bucky laughed, head tilted up towards the sky as Sam did a fly by. Just as Bucky was distracted shouting obscenities into the sky at a cackling Sam, you heard the light footsteps heading towards you both from Bucky’s side. Ducking out from behind Bucky, you quickly situated yourself between him and the new threat. Intending to take them out with a swift quick, you heard the bang of a gun before you could even take a step towards them. Doubling over in pain, you heard another shot and the sound of the goon’s body hitting the floor. “Y/N, Doll?” Bucky’s voice said frantically, sounding far away as you clutched your hip. “Ow…” You murmured, feeling your legs give out beneath you as Bucky scooped you up. “What the hell were you thinking!” Bucky exclaimed, arms wrapped around your body. “I was trying to protect you.” You mumbled, hissing as you put pressure on the wound. “You’re an idiot do you know that? Take my hand.” Bucky sighed, one hand running through his hair anxiously, as the other gripped your smaller hand in his, “You could have been killed! Do you know how much we all love you… how much I love you?” He babbled, hands tightening around as he spoke. “Stop talking about love for a minute and help me with this bullet wound.” You groaned, pinching his arm to get him to let go. “Oh… right… yeah.” Bucky murmured, quickly ripping off the one arm to his suit and tying it around the wound. “Dork.” You whispered, as he hoisted you into his arms and headed back towards the jet. “Guys, we’re gonna need medical on hand as soon as we get back!” Bucky murmured into the comms, causing panic to spread throughout the group as they got no more details from him. “You have pretty hands.” You mumbled, fingers tapping his hand that was wrapped around you. Closing your eyes, you let the sway of Bucky’s walk lull you into a restless sleep.

“Here’s our resident daredevil!” Tony greeted as you entered the traditional ‘we kicked some serious butt’ party, wearing a loose fitting dress that hit just above your knees. After being rushed to the medical facility upon your arrival back at the compound, you’d had the bullet removed and the wound stitched up. You were as good as new, yet Bucky had been loitering by your side ever since, you’d only managed to get rid of him by getting Steve to drag him away to get ready for the party. “I’m hardly a daredevil Tony. Are you drunk?” You laughed, rolling your eyes at the billionaire. Y/N!” Bucky’s voice suddenly called, making you shake your head at his puppy like nature at the moment. “Hey Buck.” You greeted, wrapping your arm around his waist as he draped his arm over your shoulder. “How you feelin’? In any pain?” He murmured, concern lacing his voice. “You’re so cute. I’m fine Buck. Promise.” You smiled, narrowing your eyes at Tony as he fake gagged. Just as the two of slid into bar stools, your faviroute song began playing. “I know this song.” You smiled, beginning to sway slightly. “I wanna dance.” You pouted, seeing that none of your friends were on the dancefloor. “You can dance with me… if you want!” Bucky murmured, hand rubbing at the back of his neck as he looked at the floor. Smiling, you linked your fingers with his and dragged him into the crowd. Swaying together, you wrapped your arms around his neck and breathed in the smell of his cologne. “Hey Y/N?” He murmured, hands gripping at your waist, fingers brushing lightly over your stitches. “Yeah Buck?” You smiled, looking up to see his grey eyes filled with affection. “I uh… thankyou, for protecting me.” He smiled sheepishly, letting out a breath as you giggled. “Anytime Sarge.” You hummed, resting your head against his chest. “Sing to me.” He whispered against your hair, making you giggle before you began to sing softly along with the music.

Hours later, after the party had long since finished and everyone was asleep, a knock at your door forced you out of the blanket cocoon you had immersed yourself in. Trudging over to the door, you cracked it open to a fidgety looking Bucky. “Hey Buck, what’s up?” You yawned, sleep still heavy in your voice. “I was having a nightmare.” He murmured, hands fiddling with the sleeves of his long shirt. “Come on in.” You smiled sadly, taking his hand and sitting down next to him on the bed. “Do you wanna talk about?” You whispered, rubbing a hand soothingly up and down his back. “Not particularly.” He muttered, laying his forehead against your shoulder as you wrapped him up in your arms. “Why do you even care?” He whispered against your skin, the feeling of his lips brushing against your shoulder giving you goosebumps. “Because you’re my best friend, and the bravest, strongest person I know. Also you’re kinda hot which helps.” You smiled as he chuckled. Looking up from under his eyelashes, his fingers reached up to brush against your cheek. “Buck?” You murmured, noses brushing together as he leaned in. Closing the final bit of distance, your lips met in a sweet kiss. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” He murmured against your lips, his hand sliding to the back of your head to pull you in for another kiss. “SO… you think I’m hot?” He joked, causing you to shove him in the side before brushing your lips against his with a smile. “Mhhmm.” You giggled, knowing that it was a start to a whole new stage of your relationship.

Request a prompt HERE.

So today I had a crazy thought, what if I bought an animal this summer at the state fair (as in a farm animal), and gave it a home in a farm animal sanctuary in the Midwest? Some place where I know it would not become a burger or a hot dog? What if I did that? Wouldn’t that be wild? I know I can’t save every single one but what if I could save one? What if I could save one cow or pig or chicken from being on someone’s plate? Maybe this is some crazy hair brained scheme I’ve come up with but I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve gotta make this happen. If you’re vegan and you’re reading this please signal boost this and help me make this happen so we can save some animals. (:

The Office: Pam Beesly [INFP]

NON-OFFICIAL TYPING: by a non-tumblr user

Introverted Feeling (Fi): Pam is a quiet, gentle woman who relies more heavily on emotion than logic. She is very comfortable with her own definition of “right” and “wrong”, quickly voicing her disagreements with the actions of others. She is virtuous to a fault, making most decisions based on their ethical merit. These decisions rarely involve a logical step-by-step process; they just “seem right” to her. Pam filters every suggestion through her own subjective value system. She doesn’t compromise on what’s important, refusing to cooperate with anything that contradicts these values.

Extroverted Intuition (Ne): Pam is exceptionally creative. Her ability to see potential everywhere helps her to come up with ingeniously clever ideas, which in turn she uses to resolve conflicts, boost workplace morale, and enrich her personal relationships. Pam occasionally uses this talent to help people (usually Michael Scott) out of sticky situations. She is a fantastic advice-giver and a clever schemer, all in all making her one of the most loveable employees at Dunder Mifflin Scranton.

Introverted Sensing (Si): Pam does what she can to keep Dunder Mifflin (and Michael) from going off the rails. She is quick to point out practical implications and problems arising from people’s hair-brained schemes (mostly Michael’s). She has sentimental feelings toward Scranton and the Dunder Mifflin branch, as well as it’s idiosyncratic employees.

Extroverted Thinking (Te): Pam can be harshly critical of herself at times, and also of other people when they do something sleazy.  In moments of inspiration, she makes big, life-changing decisions without hesitation.

Fic: “Seven Little Queens”

Summary: After Trixie and Adore come up with the idea to drag their closest friends with them to spend a vacation in an isolated cabin, no one could have expected the danger that lurked in the surrounding forest. What will happen to these seven little drag queens? That is up to you, the reader, to decide as fatal choices will be given to you to vote upon that will affect the outcome of this story. 
Trigger Warnings: Anything and everything horror related may or may not appear in this story which includes: monsters, character death, gore, blood

A/N: So, this is a little horror fic that has been plaguing me for a while but has only just now decided to be written. This will be similar to a “Choose your own adventure” story, except that I’m not writing 50+ potential chapters, haha! For each chapter, you will be given two options to choose from, and each choice has a 50% chance of being fatal for any of the surviving characters. Each and every character has the potential to be killed. No character is safe (including my Violet whom I will be very upset about if you get killed). 
To vote, just leave a message in my ask box (anon is on) with your choice. Spam voting is not only allowed but encouraged if you really want to see your choice play out. 
Good luck, and I hope the characters you want to live will and those you wish to kill off do as well (though I may rage if you get my Violet killed). 


Prologue

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4

HAIR BRAINED SCHEME

I’m beginning to feel whole so now to feel human! 

It’s all part of my plan to get myself back in place and firing on all cylinders, Mind, Body, Soul and a smart haircut.

Thanks to my barber (look at me all ah-de-dah with my own barber) and mate Joth of @savillsbarbers for looking after me and putting some posh lather on me chops too x

Shammerham’s Random Starkid Graphic fest: 5/?

While out testing her latest hair-brained scheme, Zazzalil stumbles upon the most important discovery in human history. One that will take her and her tribe on a whirlwind adventure, pitting them against giant birds, woolly mammoths, and the most deadly predator alive- Snarl.

She’ll travel from omega to alpha and become… The Firebringer.

Jealous

Originally posted by btsfunboyz

Park Jimin

{pt. 1} {pt. 2} {pt. 3} {pt. 4} {pt. 5}

A/N: HI! So this is my very first post and I’m lowkey nervous but oh well! Nevertheless I hope you enjoy! Feedback would be absolutely wonderful and if you like what you see, don’t hesitate to request anything! Thank you sosososso much and have a wonderful day! (:

Word Count: 1,001

Masterlist

“I need a favor.” Jimin urgently tugged at your wrist as you made your way down the hall.

“Whatcha need?”

“See that girl over there?”

“The hot redhead? Yeah.”

“I need her, (Y/N). Like… need her.” He awkwardly flickered his eyes downwards to stress his desire.

You practically attended every party together, usually helping the other get laid. It was complicated, but your system worked. Now, you and Jimin were at yet another rager, him eagerly looking down at you with pleading eyes.

“Got blue balls, Jiminie?” You chuckled, walking further into the darkened hall, away from most of the party.

“C'mon, (Y/N). I haven’t had a proper fuck in months!”

“What’s your plan?”

“First, I need you to listen. Don’t go crazy until I’m done explaining, promise?” You apprehensively nodded, interested in what his bright idea was this time.

“People have sex at these parties all the time, right? I read somewhere that girls are more attracted to a guy when jealous. It’s psychology, okay? We find a room and convince people we fucked. After that, you can talk me up to A-Young.”

“Pretty sure her name is A-Yeon.”

“Sorry, A-Yeon.” You chuckled at his carelessness and hair brained scheme. There was a 10% chance this would actually work, but it was worth a shot.

“Come on, Big Daddy.” You laughed, taking his hand in yours. “Make me scream.”

“Oh, I love it when you talk dirty.” He dramatically groaned into your ear. You couldn’t help the boisterous laughter that bubbled from your lips. Quickly, you sighed and swung your hips as you passed the girl Jimin was lusting after. You leaned back to quietly inform him that she had definitely been checking him out.

The pair of you found the closest empty room to where A-Yeon had previously been standing. As Jimin shut and locked the door, you removed your heels to stand on the large messy bed in the middle of the room.

“What are you doing?” Jimin laughed, looking up at you with an expression of curiosity and adoration.

“The plan, remember?” You chuckled a long with the boy below you before lightly jumping on the mattress. Squeaks and creeks began to sound from the springs as you continued your movements.

“Beat on the wall a bit. Not too loud.” Jimin followed your instructions, walking over to the headboard to lightly rap on the plaster with it. You began to quietly moan, causing Jimin to deter from his actions and stare at you in awe. Giving him a wink, you started making your noises of imaginary pleasure more distinct and graphic.

“Fuck, Jimin! You feel so good!” He quietly snickered to himself, however his jeans definitely felt a lot tighter now.

“Oh my god, you’re so big!” You exaggerated your words, making sure the audience outside got the picture. After catching on, Jimin began dramatically groaning in time with you.

“Jimin! Jimin, I’m gonna cum!” He began to fidget once he registered his name falling from your lips in such a vulgar manner. Your fake moans picked up speed and became more breathless as you reached your fictitious orgasm. For the finale, you let out a high-pitched squeal and slowed your jumping to a stop.
You made contact with Jimin’s wide eyes and you both busted out in a hushed fit of laughter. Hopping down from the bed, you walked over to him, placing your hands into his scalp to randomly massage. You made his hair stand in every which way, mimicking the effect sex would have on his locks.

“Thank you.” He whispered, leaning down and giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.

“What are friends for?” You blushed, feeling your chest strain as you prepared yourself to walk out of the room. He made his way out first, joining a group of boys who began congratulating him on his “first fuck of the night”. You sat by A-Yeon, fanning yourself and putting on your best starry-eyed look.

“That good?” She shyly giggled, bumping you slightly with her shoulder. You turned to her, sighing loudly and covering your hand with your heart.
“The best I’ve ever had!” You exclaimed. If this wasn’t an Oscar winning performance, you didn’t know what was. “He’s practically a sex god!” She looked to him from across the room, flashing him the smile of a temptress.

“He’s had his eye on you all night. I was just lucky enough for him to settle for me.” You continued, looking from her to Jimin.

“Really? Should I go talk to him?” You eagerly nodded your head, assuring A-Yeon that it was totally fine with you. “Hopefully I’ll have just as good of a time as you!” She laughed, patting your bare knee lightly.

“I’m sure you will!” The laugh you returned was obviously forced, but at this point, the lust-struck girl was completely oblivious. You stood from the couch the two of you were occupying and slyly made your way to Jimin.

“You’re in.” You whispered. “But I think I’m going to head home. Have fun with A-Yeon, okay? I’ll see you later.” He peered down at you for a second, a bit worried in your sudden change of mood.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine! Just a little tired from that amazing sex!” You joked giving him big smile. He quietly chuckled before saying his goodbyes and strutting over to A-Yeon.

The cold night was a pleasant contrast to the dense house you had just left. Time and time again you had done this. Why then did you feel so heavy leaving him with her?

You traveled down the dimly lit streets as you made your way home. You tried not to think about the pair in such close quarters. For whatever reason, you began to feel the unknown heat of anger bubble up from your toes to your cheeks. The root of this rage was beyond you, so you opted to turn in early and forget about the whole thing.

January 7th, 2014 - Winter Wonderland

ARTIST: fauxreblogsthings

AUTHOR: starry-climes

January 7th, 2014 - Winter Wonderland

England watched the snow slide off the branch. It had snowed all last night and the night before. The whole vacation destination ‘where no one can bother us’ had been one of America’s hair brained schemes. It had started pleasant, if not cold, in one of Alfred’s Northern Midwest states, and then had turned into a nightmare.

England didn’t know what to make of the car ride that had led them here. It had been treacherous. He had stared into the dark night with white flakes layered upon each other, backdrop so thick one could only see a few feet ahead of the car. The whole time America did not speak as he drove. That had been eerie, the silence that permeated the car, the only noise had been the windshield wipers making a sickening noise as the ice accumulated on them barely pulled away the gathering snow. America had turned off the lights at one point, and England had turned to see white knuckles gripping the steering wheel. When England asked (slightly terrified) what the hell America was doing, the answer came in monotone that he was following the faint edges of the road.

A snowstorm. They had made through the snow and ice, America groping his keys with frozen hands to unlock the door of the cabin and let them inside.

England had built the fire in the wood burning stove and America wearily had brought in the luggage. They had trod upstairs, England’s hope of a fun night blighted by the sleep that nipped their heels.

America had slept in. Apparently 3 hours driving in a blizzard made one tired.

Now, England watched the boy make toast. The relative chilliness of the cabin warmed up at the sight of Alfred’s low slung sweatpants, boxers sticking out above in red fold.

“'Ou waun sum?” America turned, his bed head hair endearing, and wife beater shirt outlining every muscle on his well toned chest.

Arthur only scowled despite being charmed. “Proper gentlemen do not speak with their mouth full.”

America swallowed and gave a cheeky grin and wink, “Good thing I’m not a proper gentleman.”

“Not been since Lexington.” England mumbled under his breath, trying to stay annoyed than embrace the fool.

America took the bait, “sheesh,” it came out accompanied with an eye roll, “ not this again.”

England eyed him as a cat would his prey. America grinned and put his head close to England so that blue eyes met green straight on.

“America, you have morning breath..,” England said desperately,  and if you listened to m…“

Warm lips were on his own. Chapped and warm they just brushed his own, the heat making England push to add to the kiss. Parting with one small final kiss, America shot back as he left the quaint kitchen. "Deal with it old man.”

****

America was curled up on the couch. He was reading John Green and every so often his feet would twitch. It was so quiet. When England had asked why there was no TV America had shrugged and told him he thought England was too old for it.

(England would never admit how many nights he would fall asleep with his feet propped up and reading glasses on with the Telly blaring.)

“It reminds me of those first winters.”

America just groaned.

“It’s not like you remember lad.”

“I only remember being cold and hungry.”

'This is not why we came here’ was written in those sky blue eyes staring at from across the room.

England returned to his cross stitch.

“This is nice.” He said quietly, as if no one could hear, his voice seeping under the slight draft of the door out into the wilderness and across the frozen lake. 

It’s not their usual. England smiles as America stands up stretching, sweater rising and exposing his navel, and flops down on England’s couch, uncaring of the sharp object in England’s hand. America rests his head on England’s lap, hand still holding the book curled around England’s hip. 

England just gently pets America’s hair, running his fingers through it.

All of a sudden it had clicked. America was doing this for him. Giving up his video games and Teevo for him. A little misguided, but sweet. England gives a soft hum of approval at America’s hidden flush, reddening his cheeks and his ears.

“I guess we’ll be staying awhile.”

America nods and England combs through the golden tresses as a cardinal and his mate land on the bush by the window. The snow is white and fluffy. The week seemed full of possibilities–snowmen, snow ball fights, and snow angels. America would love it. For now, England sat, weariness finally taking over him, a nap sounded perfect.

He barely felt himself being covered by a quilt and kissed on the forehead. America had laughed softly though, and he fell into dreams of ice skating on the Thames.

Rose tries to teach empathy

I get the feeling that it was Greg who really set the cgems on the path to being more compassionate, starting with Rose. what if rose tried all sorts of hair brained schemes to try to make the cgems more caring for each other and humans? what if birthing Steven was her last attempt?

Clint: You’re gonna stick around though, yeah, Kate-and-Barrel? You’re kind of the getaway car.

Kate: And get arrested with you two? Go to hell. 

One thing that separates sidekicks from partners is that partners have limits– they aren’t as bound to follow along with hair-brained schemes. Of course, there’s never been any doubt about where Kate stands; she’s her own person at every moment. But even at humorous moments like these she reassures the audience that, no, she’s not going along with just anything Clint suggests, even if she supports him by driving him in the first place.

It’s also another hint that what Clint’s doing in this issue has nothing to do with superheroing. He’s being a nice guy, maybe, to a woman he thinks he owes something to. But Natasha told him earlier that the police should handle this, and now Kate’s bringing up a similar point. But Clint isn’t listening to either of them. So, here’s the question– is Clint on the right side, in this issue?

From Hawkeye Volume 4 #08 (Matt Fraction & David Aja)

Fuck cheap baby boomers

I work at a small family owned animal hospital and let me tell ya some of our clients are the worst kinds of people. Almost all of them are extremely cheap and rude when you don’t capitulate to their ludicrous demands. Anyways story time, there’s a new allergy medication (it’s been out for three years) and it’s wonderful, the only drawback being it’s cost. Yes I understand not everyone can afford the newest, biggest, and best thing around, I know I can’t. So yesterday this older guy (maybe in his 50’s) comes into pick up this medication for his dog, all is going as normal except he has this hair brained scheme of how he’s gonna be cheap about it. He thinks of he gives the next size up and gives half the pill he’ll be kosher. So I’m standing there for half a fucking hour, with other people waiting for me to help them, trying to explain that 10.2 mg =/= 8 mg and we can’t give out misdosed prescriptions. So he storms out and leaves his card on the counter and he comes back THREE whole hours later to pick it up and cusses me out because it wasn’t sitting directly where he left it three hours ago (we put cards that people left into a locked drawer. Thank god my boss had my back and refused to give into this cheapskates idea.