hair bender

the-last-hair-bender  asked:

Boromir never dies and after the ring has been destroyed gets hobbitnapped by Merry and Pippen and lives out his days in the Shire getting fat and impressing the hobbits with his tallness and ability to carry heavy things without needing a wagon.

I haven’t written for LOTR in so long man, but omg I tried I’m sorry


To be quite fair, it was all Pippin’s idea. If asked, Merry would tell everyone this, even Boromir himself. It was Pippin’s idea to hobbit-nap the son of Denethor, after the war ended and the ring was destroyed. Aragorn had found it amusing, and if he wasn’t as amused as his king, Boromir would have called him a jerk for it. But regardless, Faramir became the Steward of Gondor, and the elder brother went back with the Hobbits.

The folks of the Shire were unsure of him at first, but he wasn’t too surprised; not many Halflings dealt with Men on a regular basis. It was easy to win them over, after he hauled someone’s wagon after the pony got hurt. After that, he found himself being asked to tend to most manual labor for them. While he had to duck in… well, in every Hobbit Hole, he didn’t mind. Merry and Pippin often helped him, both laughing and having fun. Sam and Frodo joined them a handful of times, as well.

He wasn’t surprised when Samwise Gamgee was elected Mayor of the Shire, though the poor lad himself was shocked. He wasn’t surprised by the second, or third time, either, but the fourth had been a surprise, but the fifth, he wasn’t, until the sixth and seventh times. He had definitely been surprised by that. Seven consecutive years as Mayor of the Shire was definitely something to be proud of, and all of Sam’s friends and family were proud of the Hobbit.

It broke his heart, when Frodo left Middle Earth, but he wasn’t too shocked by it. The ring bearer had been through a lot, and the quest had taken a lot from him. If he’d feel at peace leaving the realm of mortals, then Boromir could only hug him and say goodbye.

He could feel himself getting older, and the Hobbits watched his hair gray, among other things that changed with age. Still, he never wavered in hauling wagons or helping build their homes in the hills until joints ached with age. Only then, did he do less and less, telling more and more stories to the children, rather than doing manual labor. And, sure, after the Quest ended, his life wasn’t full of battle and wars, but the smiles on the Halflings’ faces, not to mention the laughter of the small children, had made his life inherently better.

It was with a heavy heart that had Merry and Pippin insist they visit Gondor, one last time, that gave the man a chance to visit his homeland again. He was aware of what they were doing; he knew his time was coming to an end, and he was more okay with that than he was sure most would think. He knew the two halfings were taking him home to say goodbye, to be buried, but until they got there.

They had one last adventure.

Prompts

Star Wars Fic Recs!

and by that I mean mostly focusing on/around Obi-Wan because my bias is showing and I cant be bothered to curb that impulse

(also gonna add in @swpromptsandasks​ who is an absolutely fantastic (not to mention prolific) writer who’d probably have something for everyone)

The Codywan fics

- Hope by lilyconrad - T - 6.7k

The Clone Wars are the backdrop to a quiet and fragile love between a general and a clone commander.

- There Goes The Atmosphere by missmollyetc - E - 45.2k (ongoing) (also a personal fav)

The most dangerous space in the galaxy is the distance between a clone and his general.

- Intertwine by @norcumi - E - 10.4k (also Padmé/Rex)

Padmé survives Mustafar. She and Obi-Wan strike out on their own with the twins, accumulating a far bigger family of clones, Jedi, and assorted troublemakers. Even in the shadow of the Empire, they manage to forge something new.

- Whiplash by dogmatix - T - 13.9k (ongoing) 

The world doesn’t stop just because you’ve won the war, and that goes double when the war might not actually be over.

The Rexobi fics

- Sketch by @peskylilcritter - G - 1k

Obi-Wan undercover as a clone.

- Couple Politics by @punsbulletsandpointythings - G - 2.1k

Rex can handle many things. Most things.

He’s pretty sure he can’t handle this.

- Kind, Sober, and Fully Dressed by @dharmaavocado - T - 23.7k

“You’re punishing me, aren’t you?” Anakin said. “I angered you somehow and this whole thing with Obi-Wan is my punishment.”

“Not everything is about you,” said Rex, hauling the guy up. “And, come on, have you seen him in those cardigans?”

“He looks like someone’s sad grandpa,” Anakin said.

In which Obi-Wan returns from four years undercover, Rex called dibs, the entire squad is not helpful, and Anakin hates his life.

(First in the Title of Our Sex Tape series aka that one B99 AU that I never knew I needed until it was in my face)

- Endure the Burning by @norcumi - M - 4.9k 

Captain Rex and General Kenobi both knew any interest they might have for the other was an impossibility. Then they discover that they are not just an impossibility, but something akin to a fairy tale.

- Two Weeks by scarletjedi - T - 14.7k (ongoing)

After yet another confrontation with General Grievous, Generals Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, along with Padawan Ahsoka Tano, Captain Rex, and others from Skywaler’s 501st, find themselves crashed on a far-flung planet. With help two weeks away, our heroes must survive on this strange, abandoned land.

- Dancing in the Stars by @charity-angel - G - 9.1k

In which there is a really contrived excuse for Anakin to make an ass of himself, and Rex to be a good ori'vod (and maybe impress a certain other Jedi at the same time).

- In which Rex Doesn’t need his sight to get laid by @the-last-hair-bender (aka emocezi) - E - 2.5k

It had been an accident, or so Echo kept saying. They’d been bored, caught up in another endless round of ‘hurry up and wait’ and they’d been tossing around a flashbang in lieu of playing catch with something more dangerous. Like a grenade.

Of course someone had accidentally pulled the pin out and they’d all hurriedly stuffed their buckets on to protect their eyes. And then, because nothing is ever simple or easy. Captain Rex had walked in the room, sans helmet.

The 501st had, in Rex’s salty opinion, screamed like newborn Krayt Dragons and he’d had approximately three seconds to assess the situation before the world had turned impossibly white and he’d gone blind.

- The Best Cure by inkpenpaper - T - 5.6k 

It was the kind of milksop mission that would have normally been well below the paygrade of either the 501st and the 212th, so it was obvious Command meant it as sort-of leave.

Such a shame Obi-Wan touched something he shouldn’t have.

(Part of the this is not the fic you’re looking for series)

- War Against The Odds by @norcumi - M - 9.7k

Obi-Wan and Rex: from General and Captain in the GAR, to lovers, to survivors and Rebels.

Cody/Obi-Wan/Rex fics

- Waiting (Too Long) by @the-dragongirl - T - 6.4k

Rex waits by the bedside of one of his lovers, waiting (hoping) for him to wake up. Damn the Sith, anyway.

Or - Rex finds proof of the control chips and Palpatine’s treason before Order 66 can be fully carried out, and brings it to Anakin in time. Barely. Unfortunately, he does NOT get there in time to prevent the Order from being sent out to Utapau.

ObiAniDala fics

- Sigh No More by @edenwolfie - E - 131k (ongoing)

Anakin makes slightly better choices, Obi-Wan is a Mess™ and Padmé deserves none of this. AU from Mustafar onward with liberal manipulation of canon to culminate in some angsty, fluffy, domestic fix-it because we all deserve better.

I’m going to fix everything Lucas broke if it kills me.

who cares about your lonely heart by Elenothar - T - 28k

After the Battle for Coruscant, Obi-Wan has wings, a Sith Lord to handle, and a former Padawan who’s still not following a code of conduct for the Jedi. Facing the Sith Lord might be the easy part.

ObiKin fics

- Starbird by @imaginaryanon - T - 8.8k

As far as Anakin’s concerned, Obi-Wan is the picture of a perfect Jedi. or, Anakin thinks he knows everything about Obi-Wan but doesn’t. Anakin thinks a lot of things, actually, and he’s wrong about most of them. Anakin’s whole world view is turned upside down. Obi-Wan is having the time of his life.

- wicked thing by @imaginaryanon - M - 97k (ongoing)

There are rumours of yet another Sith Lord hiding among the Separatists. The Council sends Anakin to investigate. Anakin has a bad feeling about this. or, the story of how Anakin exists in a perpetual state of intense embarrassment, Kenobi is enjoying it a little too much, and everything is, generally speaking, a gigantic mess.

Bail/Obi-wan/Breha fics

- And Yet, I Love You Still by @punsbulletsandpointythings - T - 7k

At 25, Obi-Wan Kenobi met Breha Organa, and fell in love. At 34, Obi-Wan Kenobi met Bail Organa, and fell in love again.

- untinam by @spookykingdomstarlight - G - 2k

“I shouldn’t,” Obi-Wan said, body going rigid at her side. That wasn’t her intention, but she didn’t take the question back. She didn’t contradict him either. “The senator has only just returned. You two should—”

“He missed you, Obi-Wan,” she said, matching him for vehemence. In this, she would fight him. I’ve missed you, she thought, even though you’ve been here all along. “He would be disappointed if you didn’t put in an appearance.”

- As The Thunder Rolls by @the-dragongirl - G - 4k

Breha Organa must face the new reality of the Galactic Empire, both as the Queen of Alderaan, and as a woman. Fortunately, she does not have to face it alone.

Gen fics????

Ghosts of 66 series by dogmatix & @norcumi (because this is Star Wars and whats that without some Pain and Suffering)

Order 66 had thousands of loyal soldiers turning on their commanding officers and shooting them down. A collection of stories about some of these clones and their Jedi, and how death can often be a matter of perspective.

- Legacy by @deadcatwithaflamethrower - M - 18k

“Maul was my pride, my greatest accomplishment aside from the political games that have wrought me control over the Republic. Why should I take a second apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi? Why would you be worth my time?”

“Because I fucking hate you.”

- How Jedi Mourn series by @punsbulletsandpointythings (again, the suffering and pain)

They don’t. Until they can’t help it.

Rogue One fics (because i haven’t actually organised my shit so. i don’t got much for this yet???)

They Have Taken Photographs of Our Footprints in the Dust by @dharmaavocado - T - 4k

"Did you know I’m worth a quarter herd of bantha?”

At Jyn’s sharp inhale, Baze said, without opening his eyes, “My husband is an unrepentant liar. He is barely worth one sick bantha, much less a healthy quarter herd.”

In which Chirrut and Baze have spent more than half their lives together, and Chirrut likes to spin stories of how they were married.

climb, climb by @peradii - N/A - 1k

K-2SO: the droid with existential anxiety and a smart mouth.

Star Wars The Force Awakens fics

the beloved body, compass, polestar by @santiagoinbflat - T - 6k

Poe knows his place in the Resistance, in the galaxy at large–or, at least he thought he did.

But that was before Jakku. That was before Finn.

- tell me about the big bang by @jhholtzmann - M - 37k

There is a part of him that says: you are not human.

- falling, falling by @piyo-13 - T - 9k

Poe makes it out of the First Order’s clutches in one piece, which in and of itself is nothing short of a miracle. Or, well, he says ‘one piece’, but it’s hard to place physical value on mental capacities and anyways, he’s got other things to worry about than dealing with the aftermath of psychic Force-torture.

Such as that cute ex-Stormtrooper who saved Poe’s life, his droid, and most of his jacket.

Unfortunately (fortunately? He’s not really sure) for Poe, Finn knows what Kylo Ren is capable of, and he’s determined to help.