hail marry

Sleep Talk [Dan]

Title: Sleep Talk [Dan]

Summary: Dan and Phil chat for a bit at 3:27am, but only one of them is actually conscious.(Sleeping!Dan, Grumpy!Phil)

Relationship: Phan

Characters / Pairing: Dan Howell, Phil Lester

Word Count: 763 (short ‘n sweet, my dildo-muffins)

Warnings: M/M, swearing (it’s 3:00am give Phil a break), sleep talking (dans cute lmao), some (cute) grumpy Phil, sleep-deprivation, a very confused and disturbed Dan, frustration, if you have an issue with mail this really isn’t for you (idk some people have very specific problems), annoyance, humour (pfffffffffffffftt nah), FLUFFITY FLUFFY FLUFF, establishedrelationship yo

Or the one where Phil doesn’t want to talk about the mail. (it doesnt make sense now but youll see hahahhhahah) #establishedrelationship


It’s unusual that Phil is up later than Dan, but tonight’s just one of those nights where sleep refuses to dawn on him.

It’s been taunting him too; he’s tired as fuck but he can’t seem to settle down and sleep.

He gave up a few minutes ago, just laying on his back - eyes open - with a completely knocked out Dan on his chest.

Speaking of Dan, the man has his cheek pressed just below Phil’s collarbones, his features totally slack and his lips parted just enough to have breath flutter out from between them.

Phil strokes a gentle finger down Dan’s belly, basking in the silence of Dan’s room. All that can be heard is Dan’s steady breathing, complemented by the hint of snoring that Dan always denies he has.

After a few more minutes, Phil feels the traces of sleep begin to weigh his body down.

He subconsciously pulls Dan closer into him and his eyes slowly droop shut…


Phil peeks an eye open to see Dan’s eyebrows scrunching, his face pulling into one of discomfort. He shifts a little on Phil’s chest, the heat of his position making Phil want to squirm.

He resists this urge, instead bringing a tired hand up to Dan’s hair and slowly massaging his scalp, hoping that will help calm his sleeping partner.

“Fffff… Don’t put- Phil.” Dan groans, a sleepy but unmistakable tone of annoyance in his voice.

Phil - too tired to laugh at Dan’s unusual sleep talking - just shushes his boyfriend softly, soothing him. “Shhh Dan, go to sleep.”

Dan squirms a little, his nose pressing uncomfortably into Phil’s ribcage. “Clooooooose the cupboards behind you, twat.” Dan slurs, the movement of his body creating even more heat.

Phil almost has to kick the duvet off.

“The cupboards aren’t open. Go to sleep.

It’s silent for a moment.

Phil’s body starts to relax back into the mattress again when-

“Wait, waht'er you- nah!” Dan crows, thrashing to the side abruptly and succeeding in smacking Phil in the left eye with a flailing arm.

Phil hisses and clutches for his eye, a long groan escaping him at Dan’s sudden hostility and garbled nonsense. “Dan!”

What the hell is Dan dreaming about?

Dan stills momentarily as Phil nurses his injury, not used to violence at 3:27am.

There’s quiet again and Phil can’t help but get his hopes up.

Slowly, his eyes droop shut…

“Mmm- Philllll, can you grab the mail?”


“Dan, it’s 3:34 in the morning; there is no mail. Go to sleep.”

“Th'postman is here.” Dan argues.

“No he’s not.” Phil sighs in annoyance. “Please go to sleep.”





“Mail’s still sitting th- love you.”

With a long, exasperated release of breath, Phil guides Dan closer into his body. “I love you too, Dan. But - I’m begging you - please go to sleep. We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

And with that, a silence falls over Dan’s room once more.


It’s 7:42am when Phil wakes up.

He’s running off of three and a half hours of sleep (considering it took him another half hour to fall asleep after Dan’s last comment) as he stumbles down the hall and to the table, following the smell of pancakes.

Dan glances over his shoulder from the stove as Phil trudges in sleepily. “Morning.”

Phil just grumbles, dropping his head into his arms on the table.

“Don’t need to be rude.” Dan jokes lightly, snickering to himself.

Phil - oddly enough - does not find this funny.

He’s pulled out of a temporary sleeping state when Dan places two plates on the table.

Phil jumps, startled, and Dan chuckles. “No sleep, huh?”

A low grunt is his only response.

Yes, Phil is grumpy. But - to be fair - he didn’t even get four hours of sleep because of a stupid argument over the mail.

There’s a comfortable quiet at the table as they eat before Dan slowly speaks up. “I think the mail came in this morning. After breakfast, could you go down and grab i-”

Phil’s head shoots up and Dan recoils, almost falling off of his chair. “Jesus Christ, Phil! What’s gotten into you today?”

“I do not want to discuss the mail with you again.” Phil warns.

Dan just stares at him in bewilderment and confusion. “We never-”

“We did! Last night.”

“Phil, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Phil stares at Dan long and hard, but Dan’s baffled expression doesn’t change.

He really doesn’t remember.

With a heavy puff, Phil gets up and stalks downstairs to retrieve the mail.


Just the way he looks at her really worried then his face turns hard in anger as if seeing Amy hurt makes him feel even more determined to protect her. I’m so happy that we’re seeing more SonAmy proof in shows. I’ve adored this pairing since forever. I’ve never felt so happy, thank you sega for making SonAmy canon.  

Let me tell you all how my suhoor went

So let me start this story off by telling you all that we have a cat. Now I hate this cat, he showed up on our door step one stormy night as a kitten meowing and my sister decided to keep him and since that day he does nothing but meow nonstop until we give him attention. Now I don’t hate that he meows I hate that he an attention seekin ho because there’s only room for one of those at our house and dat me. Anyways let me get to the point of the story here. My whole family and I are sitting in the living room and the athans about to go off and I’m like coo, Imma go make wuduu pray and hit da sheets ON TIME tonight. But that little mother (it’s Ramadan so I’ll leave it at that) decides to meow at the door. Now normally I don’t give him the attention but my sister was like I’m a let this foo in maybe he trying to get some suhoor/Sehri before the athan too. Next thing I know she’s like “noooooooo” and so I turn to look at that son of a (again it’s Ramadan so imma hold myself back) had a live mouse in his mouth. Then he looked me straight in the eyes, I swear I ain’t making dis ish up, and I could see it he telekinetically told me “you ain’t gon sleep tonight ho” and when our eyes met we stared at each other for a good like 5seconds and I was like “ho don’t do it” the he drops this mouse out his mouth and I’m like “oh mah gawd” and it goes shooting behind my moms china cabinet. Anyways I jump up and I’m like “imma kill him imma kill em” but my sister holds me back and kicked him out the house. Now we got a live mouse in the house and me, my sister, my dad and my mom begin building a fortress around the china cabinet, half hour later a 1/16 size replica of San Quinten prison was built around the China cabinet and I was like lemme grab me BB gun and end this but first everyone put on these safety googles, so now we all staring into the fortress with saftey glasses on in Pajamas like guards on the outter prison walls but when my sister saw the mouse she’s like nah man just at him he just scared wanna go him so I’m like okay okay we’ll catch him and let him go. Now this mouse must have been masta splintah or some ish trained the ninja turtle in Kung fu and karate type of ish because Next thing I know this little biatch was jumping the high security walls of our prison and my dad sees it and now the whole situation is moving slo mo and I’m like “oh heeeeeeellll nawwwww” and my dad tries to push him back in but instead flings the mouse into my arms and I’m trying to catch him like a hot potato but he escapes my death grip like a wet bar of soap slipping out of a prisoners hands in the shower, crushing my soul and he made a hail marry run under the couch. So fast forward it’s now 2 hours after fajr and I’m on the floor crying like a 12 year old who went through there first breakup like “dis stupid cat, I hate him he planned this he knows I hate him, that PoS” thinking I’m going to have to blow up the house like they blew up the factory in the movie The Mouse Trap to get rid of it, but I digress and we now have San quinten 2.0 built around the couch bigger, taller, stronger and I’m like give me the gun God will understand…..but this little master splinter son of a climbed underneath the backside of the couch and beneath the throw and my mom was like “don’t you dare shoot a hole through the leather couch” and you know how Arab moms be about the furniture, she kill me before the bb even make it out the barrel. Long story short I was forced to trap him underneath the throw and release him alive and well outside.

Me trying to be sociable
  • Friend: I wanna live like a king someday
  • Friend: what?
  • Other friend: LEAVE before its to late
  • Friend: wha-
  • Other friend: Fuck, it's to late
  • Me: *mosh pitting*
  • fuck wit dis new beat
  • OH!

I ain’t a killer but don’t push me.
Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting pussy.
Picture paragraphs unloaded, wise words being quoted.

Penitentiaries is packed with promise makers.
Never realize the precious time the bitch niggas is wasting.
Institutionalized I lived my life a product made to crumble.
But too hardened for a smile, we’re too crazy to be humble.

Get a grip motherfucker.

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
When I was dead broke, man I couldn’t picture this
50 inch screen, money green leather sofa
Got two rides, a limousine with a chauffeur
Phone bill about two G’s flat
No need to worry, my accountant handles that
And my whole crew is loungin’
Celebratin’ every day, no more public housin’

We used to fuss when the landlord dissed us
No heat, wonder why Christmas missed us
Birthdays was the worst days
Now we sip champagne when we thirst-ay
Uh, damn right I like the life I live
‘Cause I went from negative to positive
And it’s all…

It’s all good

King For A Day (feat Kellin Quinn)
Pierce The Veil
King For A Day (feat Kellin Quinn)

King For A Day (ft. Kellin Quinn) – Pierce The Veil

Dare me to jump off of this Jersey bridge 
But you never had a Friday night like this 
Keep it up Keep it up lets raise our hands 
Take a look up in the sky and I see me 
red for the cancer, red for the wealthy, 
Red for the drink that’s mixed with suicide. 
You’re changing me. 

Please, won’t you push me for the last time, 
I scream until there’s nothing left 
So sick of bleeding, I don’t want this anymore. 
The thought of you is no fucking fun. 
You want a martyr, I’ll be one because enough is enough, 
we’re done. 

You told me “think about it" 
Well I did, now I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore 
I’m tired of begging for the things that I want, 
I’m over sleeping like a dog on the floor. 

The thing I think I love 
Will surely bring me pain 
Intoxication, paranoia, and a lot of fame 
Three cheers for throwing up 
The best of drama queens 
You make me sick I make it worse by drinking late. 

(push me) 

Until there’s nothing left 
So sick of bleeding, I don’t want too anymore 
The thought of you is no fucking fun 
You want a martyr I’ll be one 
Because enough’s enough we’re done 

You told me, "Think about it” well I did 
Now I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore 
I’m tired of begging for the things that I want 
I’m over sleeping like a dog on the floor. 

Imagine living like a king someday. 
A single night without a ghost in the walls. 
And if the bass shakes the earth underground. 
We’ll start a new revolution NOW 
(Here we go) 

Hail Marry, forgive me 
Blood for blood, hearts beating 
Come at me, now this is war! 


Vic and Kellin
Now terror begins in a bloodless vein 
I was just a product of the streets youth rage 
Born in this world without a voice or a say 
Caught in the spokes with an abandoned brain 
I know you well but this ain’t a game 
Blow the smoke in diamond shape 
Dying is a gift, so close your eyes and rest in peace 

You told me, “Think about it” well I did 
Now I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore 
I’m tired of begging for the things that I want 
I’m over sleeping like a dog on the floor. 

Imagine living like a king someday.
A single night without a ghost in the walls. 
We are the shadows screaming “take us now" 
We’d rather die than live to rest on the ground.