hahahahahahahh

my favorite thing ever is hanging out with a friend’s new friend and acting like a complete bro head asshole and then when the new friend gets all antsy my friend will be like “no hes gay and a little drunk hes not actually like this” 

‎"To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice: Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don’t settle for any of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Drunkaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothingaz, Lazyaz and especially his third cousin, Beatinyouaz. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz."