hahahahaha i am dead inside

anonymous asked:

'mama, how come i never get to see papa? is it because i stole an eraser? i-i swear i didn't mean to, mama. it was an accident! does papa never visit me because i'm a bad kid, mama? why did you two fight last night? is papa a bad man?'

&&. mom mercy.

     THE BARRAGE OF QUESTIONS IS UNEXPECTED to say the least; each one a bullet finding a home in her heart. while it wasn’t uncommon for the child to ask of their father, it was NEVER like this. she takes a deep breath & sinks to the floor, misty eyes leveling with those of curious innocence. ❝ you are NOT a bad kid; don’t you ever think about yourself like that. ❞  she pauses, taking a moment to steady her escalating GRIEF ——— & to brush the dark locks from her child’s eyes. 

     ❝ PLEASE, DON’T WORRY ABOUT THAT; you should not have witnessed it in the first place. ❞ truthfully, she blames herself for this, for her child’s self-doubt; she had tried her damndest to AVOID it ———— only to fail, it seems. a heavy sigh falls from her lips before she pulls her child into her arms & nuzzles the top of their head so they cannot see the TEARS that fall from her eyes. 

     OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO SAY NO, their father is not a bad man; but the TRUTH weighs too heavily in her heart. the things that he has done, the blood on his hands, it would all come to light one day & she would be outed as a liar ——— a prophet of FALSE hope. but she can’t say that yes, he is a bad man; a nightmare made real. she’s caught at a crossroads & both paths are on fire & she has no idea what to DO

      ❝ IT’S ——— IT’S COMPLICATED & NOT SOMETHING you should be worrying about. but one day, you will understand why this must be the way it is; i PROMISE you.❞