hahaha i got dumped and i made a joke about it

Night Jogging

Synopsis: Your night jog is interrupted by the sudden apperance of a friend…or foe?

Pairings: ReaderxSweetPea

Warnings: swearing, eh violence.

A/N: Had this idea for awhile and thought itd be nice and different from Legacy. I quite like this idea and am unsure if there’ll be a part 2 ft. The Gang™. I quite like Sweet Pea this far, don’t we all love an emotional damaged mysterious boy hahaha. Let me know what you loves think. Part.6 of legacy will be up in the next few days once I write it (honestly shocked I’m still writing it, I’m terrible with maintaining series)


3rd Person

“where you going so late sis?”


“Bit late to be jogging around the south side?”

“Well it’s safer than when we lived on the Northside Juggy” you smirked at your beanie wearing brother before pulling your own battered beanie down around your ears to shield them from the bitter winter air. Unlike your brother you only wore your woolen hat at the appropriate times.

You stretched before taking off on your routine jog, if slightly…very later than usual.

You jogged along the footpath parallel to a wooded area near the trailer park. Swirled in your own deep thoughts, the sudden weight thrown into your side completely caught you off guard and you screamed. A hand going around your mouth as the weight pushed you deep into the forrest, worst case scenarios running rampant through your mind.

The body held you against a tree and you forced your tightly squeezed shut eyes open, getting ready to fight.


“OH MY GOD YOU FUCKING JERK!” you pushed Sweet Pea back, hitting him into the back as he was hunched over laughing.

“Oh my god your face!” He got out between laughs, half choking.

“Don’t do that to me! I thought I was being jumped by Ghoulies!”

“Don’t even joke about that, I’d kill them” he got very serious all of a sudden and you smiled. As if he remembered the fright he gave you he returned to laughter as you both strolled back to the path.

“Come on ynn I’ll walk you home, protect you from-”

“-From people who might hmm I don’t know tackle me into the woods?” you interrupted and you both laughed.

“Why are you out this late anyway?”


“At 11.30 at night?”

“Night jogging, it makes me more mysterious and edgy" you played

“Oh yeah you definitely need help with that” he smiled, snatching your beanie from your head and putting it on his own. You don’t even bat an eyelid to his gesture.

“Why are you out this late?”


“At 11.30 at night?”

“Night business, it makes me more mysterious and edgy” he mimicked receiving a shove from you.

“No but seriously ynn what’s with the vampiric running? Something wrong?”

“Nothing really”

“Missing your precious Northside?”

“Yeah kind of”

“This is why we can’t be together, so hung up on those idiots” he smirked

“I’m pretty sure the fact I don’t like you is the reason we’re not together” he put his hand to his chest in feign hurt, you rolled your eyes at your long time friend before continuing along the short walk home.

“No more nightly jogs alone though yn, seriously it’s dangerous. Especially for FP’ offspring, special cargo for some Ghoulie trying to earn their stripes” you arrived outside the trailer park.

“Aww I’m touched you think I’m precious” you teased.

“Most precious thing in this dump”

“We’ll leave here someday Sweet Pea”


“Well yeah I’m going to need someone to carry my bags” you smirk and he nudges you.

“Can’t leave my partner in crime behind me now can I?” His genuine smile of gratitude made you feel warm. He always did. No one could quite understand him like you.

“I don’t really feel like going back to the trailer right now Sweet Pea, wanna go to the Whyte Wyrm?”

“With you? Always”

After playing, and losing, a few rounds of pool with Sweet Pea you sat at the bar and let him play someone actually challenging for him. You sat cross-legged absent-mindedly scrolling through your phone when a hand went to your thigh causing you to jump.

“Aw-w loo-k it’s FPs sexy daug-hter, h-ey babe” his slur of words matched the stench of decades of whiskey drinking. He was much older and much too close.

“Um hi” you pushed his hand down and away but it returned faster with a squeeze make you tense. He leaned in closer and whispered drunken inappropriate scheme’s into your ear. You groaned in disgust pushing him completely off you.

“Hey princess you don’t get to fucking do that! Come here!” He caught your knee harder, leaning his weight onto you, his arm snaked around your waist and you found it difficult this time to push him from you this time.

A hand laid on his shoulder from behind. He grunted at being interrupted before turning and meeting Sweet Peas fist, knocking him cold to the floor. You gasped as no one else reacted in the bar, welcome to the Whyte Wyrm.

“Oh my god Sweet Pea!”

“Come on, it’s time to go” he caught you by the wrist and began to pull you away from the bar, having to step over the creep as you went.

“Sweet Pea slow down, you’re going to pull my arm out of it’s socket!”

“such a fucking asshole” he continued pulling you in the direction of the trailer park, grumbling about your encounter with the creep.

“I was handling it!”

“Oh yeah yn really looked like that”

“Get off my case for fuck sake!”

“He could have run off with you!”

“So why does it matter to you!? Seriously slow down you’re not racing Usain Bolt for christ sakes!”

“it does matter to me! I don’t want some old creep all over you!” He still storming in front of you, your wrist firmly caught.

“You’re the same when any guy talks to me!!!”


“WHY!? WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER YOU!” and then, under the dim light of the trailer park sign, Sweet Pea stopped his quick pace suddenly, turning and enveloping you in a kiss. He dropped your wrist in exchange for your hips, your hands going around his neck. He had to lean to reach you and your were still half on your tippy toes to reach him but still, you were happy and totally surprised.

“Oh my God you just kissed me” you broke from him.

“I just kissed a Northside sympathiser” you both looked shocked before locking eyes with each other and kissing again hungrily.

“If anyone ever touches you like that again I’ll kill them.”

“Okay” you nodded hurriedly, desperate to connect your lips to his again.

“Well, that doesn’t look much like jogging?” Jughead voice made you both jump and separate. “Yeah, still a great cardiovascular workout…” you smiled at the ground at Sweet Peas reply.

“Whatever, I’m sure our Northsider friends will love this” he laughed, heading off back in the direction of your home.

“Yeah they will have a lot to say about…this” Sweet Pea was barely audible, first time you heard him like this.

“I really don’t care” you put his hands back on your waist and kissed him again.

“It makes me edgy and mysterious"


Please let me know if you’d like a part.2!

Much love Xx

Tagging: @sunshine51879 @goshdarnitthatsalongname (did you want to be tagged in all my fics or no? do let me know kitten!“)

anonymous asked:

Okay so, I was thinkin' a Robert/MC request. And it sort of touches down on something more emotionally touching? Him opening up about his feelings and the MC knows its hard for him to do. Maybe toss in some sweet cuddles if ya need but yeah. That'd be totally neato.

This was a pretty tough one, I couldn’t think of anything that’ll get the emotionally touching feeling on so I’ve decided to make a little jealous robert thing if you don’t mind. Hopefully you all like it!

I won’t say (I’m jealous)
Robert Small X MC Daddy              

Robert said he needed to work on emotional things first before committing into any romantic relationship, which I really respect and I am more than willing to wait till he’s ready. He’s been going through a lot and I know that as a father you’d want focus on family matters first. His relationship with Val has definitely improved these past few months. Also, no more daily dose of whiskey shots at Jim and Kim’s. I’m really proud of all the progress he’s made. And as promised, I remained by his side as a friend.

“I like you, I like you a lot.” He said as he held my hand, we were sitting our tree by the backyard watching guests leave the party we held for Amanda.

Those words are all I could hold on at the moment. And if loving him means holding on to those words for as long as I can, hold on I will.

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Vegan Gains: Meat eaters are so disgusting, they are contributing to the torture and holocaust of millions of animals!! How can you all be so heartless!!?!?!?

Vegan Gains: *films his grandfather having a heart attack and dying then wanted to upload it to youtube to push his agenda. Comes back from grandfather’s funeral and makes a video complaining that his family wouldn’t let him upload the video to youtube and then whines about how his family eats meat which is somehow worse than degrading his freshly dead grandfather online. Implies that his grandfather died solely because he was a meat eater.*

Vegan Gains: *Mocks a recovering anorexic man who got testicular cancer. Blames the fact that he ate meat. Says the man likes animal abuse because the man wears an anti-PETA shirt*

Vegan Gains: *victim blames the same man again after they found more cancer*
“I was right! He got cancer again. awww so sad :( And before you call me a sociopath, how about you consider that he makes fun of (PETA) ‘the suffering and death of millions of animals on a daily basis.’ So I don’t see why I should make a joke about his suffering and death. So who would like a “hahaha you’re gonna die of cancer tee-shirt” and now it looks like he’s gonna die of cancer and if you ask me he’s getting exactly what he deserves"

Vegan Gains: *Makes (satire???) video about how to kill humans. Comes off like a creepy, repressed murder fantasy and (unintentionally??) makes death threats to viewers*

Vegan Gains: *Mocks youtuber for her eating habits after she made a video talking about how her boyfriend recently committed suicide; implies he killed himself because she was fat.*
“The only people who finds [fat] attractive have fucking mental problems and you know it! So you know what? I want you to keep eating the exact same way you’re eating now- tons of meat, dairy, eggs and processed food. Get even fatter. Live a sad pathetic life of denial and misery, and then die young of a heart attack or stroke because that’s all a FAT PATHETIC LIAR LIKE YOU DESERVES!“

Vegan Gains: “I’ll be dead fucking serious- I’m a sadist. I like to hurt people. When I just beat the everloving shit out of somebody, I just get a warm tingly feeling inside like i’m being loved.”

Vegan Gains: "I fucking hate children. They literally make me sick. When I see babies in a commercial I literally gag and almost throw up and I have to look away and mute it. And when I see babies in a stroller, especially when they’re crying, I wanna put my foot through the fucking thing and step on it until its nothing but blood and pulp on the fucking pavement!!!!!”

Vegan Gains: "Most women only want to have children so they don’t have to work and so that they can be taken care of. Women also use children to control and manipulate you from leaving an unloving abusive relationship or to steal money from you after you break up. And I don’t give a fuck what you say ‘oh I love my man I just want to have babies with him’ Its. fucking. bullshit. Women trick men into having kids so that they don’t have to work and when the kid is 5 or 6 years old and it doesn’t make anymore sense for women to be stay at home moms and the time comes for women to get a fucking job, they try to trick men into having more children so that they can keep getting taken care of. And if they don’t get what they want, they’ll just break up with you and steal money from you until the kid is 18 and the threat of that happening is enough to trap men into these horrible fucking relationships.”

Vegan Gains: "I never said I liked people. I hate people. Some people say they hate people, but I really, really hate people. If I don’t have to work during the day, I try to stay up all night and work out, get everything done then, and sleep all day so I don’t have to interact with anyone.”

Vegan Gains: "I could admit that I fucking hate kids and that I just want to fucking stab people and turns out she’s a lot like me. She hates kids too and she has violent angry thoughts towards people and she’s a misanthrope and turns out she just really complimented me well” (she later dumps his crazy ass)

Vegan Gains: "Repzion’s a little fucking bitch. I fucking hate this bitch. Like I usually don’t have a huge issue with people I make videos about but yeah, if I had the opportunity, I’d kill him. Slit his fucking throat with this knife. Really like to use this knife on him. Like he really does deserve to die. He calls me a sociopath, I mean, he’s just a piece of shit, I don’t know if he’s a sociopath or not. He’s just a turd who should just be killed. Like, he’s such a smug little bitch, i’d love to just slide a knife through his throat and watch him just look all scared when he’s just dying.”

Vegan Gains: “People need to be forced into veganism, because everyone just acts like a stupid, ignorant, apathetic, greedy child!”

Vegan Gains: It was just a joke!! I was being satire!!! I’m not hypocritical or a sociopath, YOU ARE!!!

*has 206,000 youtube subscribers* 

If these are the type of people representing veganism, why y’all wonder why nobody takes vegans seriously anymore??


|| M a x o n   &   A m e r i c a    ||  5  year  book  A N N I V E R S A R Y

~ My first try at gifs + “5 years of  m r t f l r”  tag ~

A bit late but HAPPY SERIES ANNIVERSARY to all of the fandom!! So @skylars-selection​ had the wonderful idea of starting a tag [here] to share our experiences with this book series (thank you for pointing out this day to all of us Sky!) and I was tagged by @illeaslockedbluebox​, @thedandelioninperspective​ & @the-selection-bitch​ [who made America fan art and shared her story here]. You all have such lovely things to say, so I guess it’s my turn…

When I joined: I read The Heir in November of 2015 (I know that’s not the first book, I’ll explain further on), but it wasn’t until around the time The Crown was coming out that I joined the Tumblr fandom. Actually, it was a few weeks before “The Heir with dolls” video was posted; those were my first interactions with the fandom–way back in April 14th of 2016–when I made my first mrtflr post on this blog!! Just realized it has been a year since that, le gasp. The fandom was fun and filled with wonderful people with incredible talent (and it still is)!  

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Five Kisses between Shiro and Lance Ch. 1/5 (Shance fanfic for y-annah)

It’s been a godawful week at work and I’ve been insomniac for days and I can feel all of my bosses just judging me for getting so little work done at such an urgent period in the company’s business expansion to the neighbouring countries. All because my brain just won’t shut up about Voltron and how little Shance fan works are around so far.

Anyhoo, this one’s a gift/peace offering to @y-annah who’s given me the most awesome headcanons of Shiro and Lance. This fic will be the first of five loosely connected drabbles centering on Shance, because putting a manly hunk together with a hyperactive dork is apparently my kink.

And y-annah, this is pretty safe for work, I promise.

Read it after the cut!

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These Dreams(Sans POV) Ch 2

Writer’s note: Got inspired by @thelostmoongazer ‘s Night Terror comic

Feel Free to comment, like, Reblog, Ask on this. All this also feeds my mood, drive and creativity and helps me write more. So thanks to all those who do this!

These Dreams(Sans POV): Ch:   1  2[you are here]   3   4

Those Dreams: (Papyrus POV):  Ch:  1  2  4

Light streams in the from the window above Sans bed, causing the slumbering skeleton to wake.

Grumbling, he opens his eyes a bit. It feels like he barely got any sleep at all, and his bones have a dull ache inside of them. He shifts in bed a bit, but the sheets hold him firmly in place. He mutters angrily about that and gives them a hard yank. The sheets finally come free, and he’s able to move around in bed again.

Stupid sheets…wait…when did I cover myself with sheets? They’re usually crumpled up in that ball… He looks around and realizes that there is no ball of sheets in his room. What’s going on? What happened?

Shaking his head, he decides to get up. Maybe moving around and getting ready for work will help him think…?

He gets up out of bed, but then a realization dawns on him, and he snaps awake.

His room is trashed, well more than usual. His lamp is shattered against the wall, and the cardboard box is crumbled as if something hard flew into them, and made it collapse in on itself.

What the…

He walks around his room in a stupor. He walks over to the treadmill, and he sees that it isn’t working at all, even though it’s plugged in. He presses a few buttons, but nothing happens. It’s as if some strong electrical force surged through it and just killed it without leaving a single mark.

What the heck happened?! Did we get attacked or something? Why don’t I remember any of it?! Wait, is Papyrus ok?!

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Outlander Review, Episode 1x12 Lallybroch

Warning, I’m a spoilery reviewer and I leave nothing out so buyer beware… oh yeah, and this is hella long. Again. Sorry. Not sorry.

Have I ever mentioned to you good people how much I love great characterization? How much I love people on my shows talking to one another? People on my shows communicating, actually speaking words, even if they’re out of anger? How much I love actors who understand who their characters are? How much I love consistency in my characters? How much I love when characters do act out of character, it’s addressed?

Well if not, let me tell you, I love all of the above more than anything else when it comes to story telling, great plots without all of the above just leaves me feeling like what should have been a great meal, just turned out to be nothing but empty carbs. If I’m going to have carbs, I need that sucker to taste good, because carbs can be really bad for my ass and my waistline.

Anyway, yes, it appeared that not a lot happened in Lallybroch, from a plot perspective, but everything that happened, every conversation that was had, moved the story forward, and I was here for it.  A lot of those conversations also moved me to tears, so the episode was brilliant on quite a few levels.  I expected nothing less of course because this episode was written by Anne Kenney, who wrote the quite brilliant wedding episode.
Let me just say, that I prefer these sorts of character-driven episodes, over the plot driven ones.

Anyway, without further rambling, let’s begin shall we?

What I Disliked?

1.  That freaking sleeve thing that Claire was wearing when Jamie was telling her about BJR.

What the hell was it? It looked like somebody hadn’t quite finished pulling it up her arm. Yes, I know that many of the garments in those periods weren’t always stitched together, but still, it was hella distracting.

2.  That we weren’t allowed to have a full episode of Jamie and Claire without one of them ending up in danger.  

There’s enough danger coming, I’d have been happier if the show had ended at Claire’s declaration.

3.  That the show ended after 57 minutes instead of giving me the full 60 minutes.

I’m greedy and I now have to wait a full week before the next one airs. What’s up with that mess? Also, there are now only four episodes left, not sure how the writers are going to manage to cram everything in, but I have faith.

What I loved With The Passion of A Thousand Burning Suns

1.  The theme song.

Always and forever amen. That shit literally makes my heart soar and makes weep in appreciation whenever the vocals move in. I’ve mentioned it already, but even as I’m typing this, the tears are falling. Ugh. So freaking good.

2.  I’ve just noticed that all the writers are also co Exec Producers of the show. I love Ronald D Moore. Truly.

3.  The opening shot.

Scotland truly is God’s country isn’t it? So freaking beautiful. Apart from the fact that it’s colder than a witch’s tit, I’d live there any day.

4.  Jamie: “And they just stay aloft like birds

I know I’m not the only one who loved Claire telling Jamie about planes and all the modern progressions. The truth is, I could watch them talk about grass all day and I’d still be like…

Heart-eyes motherfuckers!

Also, how pretty are my OTPs?

5.  Jamie: “How old are you Sassenach, I never thought to ask.”

Oh Jamie, you are so 1744. ( apparently we entered a new year)

6.  Claire: “I’m 27” (Yes I’m pretty sure we were all thinking the same thing, let it go)
Jamie: “Och. I always thought you were about my age or younger.”
Claire:  "Are you disappointed?“
Jamie:  "Nah. It’s just that when I’m 40, you’ll be 245.”

Jamie made a funny! I love him. Have I mentioned how much I love him?

7.  Jamie and Claire getting off their horses when they were still miles away from Lallybroch.

I’m not gonna lie, I’d have stayed on those freaking horses until I got right to the door. Don’t judge me.

8.  The flashbacks to Jack Randall molesting Jenny.

I forgot what a bastard BJR is, and I’m now petrified about Wentworth all over again.

9. Jamie: “There were rumors, that Randall had got Jenny with a bastard child.”

Hush, all children are precious Jamie.

10.  Jamie:  "Do you not think I’d suffered enough after what happened that you must name Randall’s bastard after me?“

Jamie, Sweetie, the kid is right there! Language!

11.  Jenny: ”Randall’s bastard?“

She need not have said a word more. I could tell Jenny was about to blow. This was a hilarious encounter in the book, and poor Claire just stood trying to be anywhere but where she was right then. Siblings fighting is never a pretty thing. I used to beat my brother up regularly when we were kids. Don’t worry, he’s still with us, and we got past our childhood.

Can I just say how amazing Laura Donnelly was here? The freaking tension between these two was amazing, everything was literally telegraphed on her face.

12.  Jenny:

Lol. Poor Claire. I could see the imaginary punch coming from her towards Jenny a la Allie McBeal’s dump truck. (Go look it up.)

13.  Jenny: ”Do I have to do what I did when we were bairns? Grab you by the bollocks to make you stand still and listen to me?“
Jamie: "You’re now trying to shame me in front of my own wife?!?”
Jenny: “Well if she’s your wife then I imagine that she’s more familiar with your balls than I am.”

Hahaha! Jenny’s got jokes!  By the way, can I say how happy I was I was that Jenny didn’t actually grab Jamie’s balls like she did in the book. Also, I’m happy that they didn’t include the slaps too. We got what we needed to out of the scene without reverting to them physically fighting each other.

14.  Ian:  "It’s good to see you Jamie, you always knew how to make an entrance.“


15.  Jamie feels slightly foolish now. Now be a good boy and apologize to your sister.

16.  Ian: ”And this would be...“

Hahaha, Claire’s still salty about Jenny calling her that. As I would be too girl, as I would be too.

17.  Ian: ”You drink whiskey?“
Claire: "I’ve been known to have a glass or two

Hahaha! The understatement of that century I’m sure…

18.  The tension between Jamie and Jenny back at the house though.

Stubborn fools the both of them.

19.  Jamie: “What happened with Randall? I need to know.”
Jenny: “Then I’ll tell you once, and never again.”

Honestly, I could  live without Jenny telling me what happened between her and Jack Randall again. That shit hurts my soul.

20.  Wait, was that Tobias Menzies’ penis?

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