ENFJ: *pretends to be shook* *actually saw it coming from a mile away*
INTJ: Uhh… cool.
INFP: My heart is a radiant flower, unfurling its dewy petals upon the pronouncement of your love.
ISFJ: Haha funny joke… wait, actually? Like, actually? I must immediately bake you some cookies!
INFJ: But love is an illusion. Do you love me, or just the external and idealized version of me? Can we ever truly hope to find a lasting and permanent connection which runs deeper than your vapid, run-of-the-mill union in today’s society? Or is it—
ENFP: Yes… good… you have fallen for my plan to make everyone and everything in the universe besotted with me.
ISFP: *cool and composed on the outside but weeping internally*
ESFJ: *weeping externally*
ESFP: And I love puppies. And social gatherings. And the occasional rainbow. Wait, what was I saying?
ESTP: *seductive eyebrow raise* *edgy backflip* What’s not to love?
ENTP: Well, that’s one thing I won’t debate you on.
INTP: The dopamine receptors in my brain are doing all sorts of ~funky things~ right now.
ISTP: Besides my power tools… you’re the only thing that’s ever made me feel alive…
ENTJ: Great! I’ll immediately prepare an itinerary on how best we can spend our time together to foster a successful romantic relationship.
ISTJ: And I love watching Judge Judy reruns. Wait, that was the romantic response you were looking for, right?
ESTJ: I could see you in my very successful future, which involves me being president of many organizations and laminating things.