haha they said wood

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
  • Aries: "How much wood would chuck wood chuck wood, wait no, that's wrong, uh, how much chuck could wood chuck could chuck? Shit, idfk, man."
  • Taurus: "So, does this involve food or...?"
  • Gemini: "Haha, you said wood."
  • Cancer: "What's a woodchuck?"
  • Leo: "How am I supposed to fucking know???"
  • Virgo: "Uh... 2?"
  • Libra: "7 woods."
  • Scorpio: *holds up five fingers and slowly puts them down like they're counting until only the middle finger is left* "Looks like one."
  • Sagittarius: "Can you repeat that?" "Ok, ok, let me think, yeah, I still don't get it, can you repeat it again?" "Yeah, uh, one more time, this time hop on one leg and spin in a circle, then I'm sure to get it, oh, and look into this camera."
  • Capricorn: *pulls out a calculator and a textbook*
  • Aquarius: "But if you think about it, the question is pointless because it is asking how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if he COULD chuck the wood, can the woodchuck not chuck wood? Does that defeat the whole purpose of the counting, because he can't chuck the wood anyways, and if he may or may not be chucking wood, and Peter Piper is picking pickled peppers, then who's driving the getaway car?"
  • Pisces: "Idfk like 4?"

tonkola  asked:

SMUTTY/FLUFFY DRABBLE: CAROLINE DECIDES TO FINALLY VISIT KLAUS IN NOLA (NO THE ORIGINALS PLOT WITH THE BABY AND ALL THAT PLEASE) FOR THE HOLIDAYS, BUT REBEKAH FINDS HER BEFORE SHE CAN GET TO KLAUS. THE BLONDE ORIGINAL DECIDES THAT SHE CAN TURN CAROLINE INTO THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS PRESENT. *claps hands*

I totally suck because I received this request last year, but I finally wrote it! In like 20 minutes, hehe :)

The blonde entered Rousseau’s and immediately went over to the bar. She ordered herself a shot of tequila and took out her cell phone.

“Well if it isn’t my arch nemesis,” a familiar voice said sweetly and Caroline quickly turned around. Her eyes widened when she spotted Rebekah standing there wearing a dress that was far too short and enough makeup for three people.

“Is there a costume party that I haven’t been notified about?” Caroline questioned as she motioned towards the vacant seat beside her.

With a smirk, Rebekah sat down and looked around the bar that was decorated in garlands and such.

“What are you doing in New Orleans, Caroline? Did you lose your way or something?”

“Actually, I am here because I have decided to visit Klaus for the holidays.“

“Is that so? Do you two have some sort of long distance relationship that has been kept on the downlow for the past two years?”

“Actually, no. I haven’t spoken to your brother ever since that time he was in Mystic Falls.”

“You mean the time when you spent the better part of the day shagging my brother in the woods, yes?”

“Haha, very funny.” Caroline said with a roll of her eyes even though Rebekah was quite on point.

“I am not going to talk to you about my sex life, Rebekah. We’re not friends if you haven’t realized that.”

“Oh, I know. But I do love my brother hence the reason why I would like to know why you are here after two years. What changed your mind?”

“Nothing really,” she shrugged. “I simply wanted to see your brother.”

“Is ‘see him’ codeword for shag him yet again?” The blonde questioned as she grabbed Caroline’s shot and downed it immediately.

“Maybe,” Caroline replied as a small smile appeared on her lips.

“Good,” Rebekah told her. “After all, Nik can really use a good shagging and I’m guessing your little adventure with him went well which is why I am going to help you.”

“Help me?” Caroline questioned, the curiosity evident in her voice.

“Mhm,” she said. “Now, get up off your arse and follow me.”

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