hah i thought this was hilarious

anonymous asked:

"The land it's self is very small" like Robin's dick?

Robin: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…hah…….fuck you.

Mun Allen: I thought this was hilarious.

anonymous asked:

who the hell is white hair guy

kuuro; ”I study in Tokyo and I came here to visit my Family. Mother and Father seem to be away though.. and as I see Brother is slowly becoming just as popular as me.

It must be our stunning genes.”

yan; *displeased noises*

Yes, He is a Kuudere ( Kuudere – Kuuro Dereko… :’^) .. #ihavenolife ) !! I just love the idea, I am sorry it has less to do with the canon but I just thought it would be hilarious, more interesting and maybe bring some character to this blog ( since it’s boring to draw always just one and the same hah. ) !! 

Feel free to let me know what you think!

Keep reading

Sometimes I wonder how many men I’ve met who still think/talk about me to their friends.. Like “damn dude remember Steve’s bachelor party in Vegas when he paid that stripper $200 to do blow off her butt, that was wild man”.
Or whatever. How many lives have I impacted? lol. I thought of this the other day because a guy came in and said that a week ago I danced for his friend and ended up slapping him and telling him not to touch my pussy, in front of all his friends. Apparently he was blacked out and super embarrassed, so the running joke all week was “don’t touch my pussy Brian” and all of them just giving him shit for getting slapped by the stripper. Hah. Like I didn’t even remember them cause it was just a normal day for me, but to them it was hilarious and a big thing.

HxH Ot4 Dancing

Okay, so I’ve had this thought for awhile and I need to share it. Here’s how I think it’d go.:

Leorio: Embarrassingly hilarious (trying to prove he can dance)

Kurapika: Unenthusiastic after being pulled onto the dance floor

Killua: showing off

Gon: looking ridiculously adorable

Leopika: Leorio being romantic

Killugon:

Leopika drunk:

Killugon drunk: (dancing? What’s dancing?)

Hah, I am so not sorry guys xDD

Favorite creepypasta #72: Like A Surgeon

“Mr. Weston the doctor will see you now.” The nurse hung up the intercom.

Even though Sam was really nervous, he started to laugh at the fact that the lady called him Mister. That was his Dad’s name.

It was October 31, 1973, and 9 year old Sam Weston was in the hospital, about to go into surgery. He had to have his tonsils removed.

He followed his parents to the doctor’s office in the back of the hospital.

“Alright son.” said the Doctor. “Whoops, my mistake. I was told a 9 year old named Sam was coming here for surgery. You’re as big as I am.”

Sam laughed. “I’m only nine!” He thought it was hilarious that the entire hospital thought he was an adult.

The doctor checked his clipboard. “Hah! Tonsil surgery? Is that what your parents said you were scared of? Let me tell you something Mr. Weston, tonsil surgery is not scary at all. It won’t hurt but just for a second. Have you ever fallen on your knees?” Sam nods. “Well it’s about as painful as that. I had my tonsils removed when I was your age. Nothing to be scared of.”

Sam felt a little bit better.

“Uh oh. Looks like we have some news. We don’t have the tools for your special case. We traded them in for some new and improved tools, but they have yet to arrive. What we are going to have to do is keep Sam here over night, and get some equipment from the hospital in Memphis. When they arrive, we will do the surgery. He’ll probably be asleep when it happens, so that means no pain.”

Sam sat quietly while his parents sorted out all the details. They checked Sam into his room and left to the waiting room, where they would stay until Sam’s surgery.

The nurse helped Sam into his bed, and got him a juice. He looked over to the right and saw another little boy. “Hi I’m Sam. But you can call me Sammy.” The boy didn’t move an inch.

Sam looked at the nurse for some help, she whispered to him. “Tommy’s very upset. He’s got a big surgery tomorrow.” She saw Sam’s interest and whispered even quieter. “They have to cut off his foot.”

“My name’s not Tommy.”

The nurse looked sad.

A few minutes passed, Sam was drawing in his coloring book. The nurses had left so he could sleep.

Tommy looked over at Sam. He pointed to a comic book Sam had on the bed.

“Spider-man is my favorite.”

“Mine too!” Sam then tried to shoot a web at Tommy’s face. Tommy looked at him.

“What are you here for?”

“Tonsils.”

“Lucky.”

With that, Tommy turned over.

A few minutes passed by in complete silence. Tommy broke it.

“Do you like to sleep?”

Unlike most kids, Sam loved to sleep. He thought that the quicker he slept the more he could play the next day.

“Yeah! My mom tries to wake me up for school, but I can’t ever hear her. She always says I could sleep through an earthquake.”

Tommy turns out the light and turns around. Sam takes the hint.

Sam has a bad dream that night, he dreamed his was falling down a big hole, and then he hit the bottom. His legs broke when they hit, and he was suddenly in bed at the hospital.

“We have to cut it off”….
“Sorry Sammy”..
“Mr. Weston the doctor will KILL YOU NOW.”

He then sees a small boy with a clipboard in his hand. The boy picks up the clipboard at the end of Sam’s bed, and places it on his bed. He swaps them. Sam is scared for a moment and screams.

He wakes up. Tommy is sound asleep. It was all a dream.

Sam then goes back to sleep.

————————

“Quick. We need to get this kid on some Anesthesia.”

Sam wakes up. He is being rushed down the hallway in the hospital. The lights flicker above him. Sam looks at the surgeons, he hasn’t seen them before.

Sam realizes this is it, he’s about to get his tonsil’s out. His parents said he could have ice cream afterwards.

Sam thinks about what kind to get when one surgeons pushes through the door to a room with one chair in it.

“Ok Tommy. Put on this mask, it’ll help you fall asleep.”

Sam is shocked. “My name’s not Tommy.. It’s Sam.”

One surgeon checks the clipboard. “It says Tommy right here son.”

He was right. Sam looks down and sees the name Tommy Whitton.

“My name’s not Tommy! It’s Sam!”

“Yeah, they said you would say that.” The surgeon puts the mask on Sam.

Sam is freaking out. His screams become silent as the gas makes him sleepy.

He has one last glance up the hallway. Tommy is standing outside the door, smiling.

Sam cries as he falls asleep.

I was unable to find the author of this creepypasta. 

Also just realized something hilarious in hindsight … what if in SA2, Eggman had succeeded in taking the Master Emerald back to the ARK instead of a Chaos Emerald as Shadow told him to do?

Shadow: What is this?

Eggman: (huffing and puffing) A … Chaos Emerald! Hah! … (sets Master Emerald down and wipes the sweat from his brow) Do you have any idea how difficult those are to come by? So I thought I’d bring you the master version. It’d work just as well.

Shadow: … I specified a Chaos—

Eggman: IT’S SUPER-SIZED, DAMMIT

Detective Conan- Football/Soccer

The dancing one is already done

This one was hard because all soccer gifs are hilarious and involve more than one person. It is also very hard to match up to characters when every gif is a fail gif. So have zero accuracy but a lot of laughs. None of these gifs belong to me.

Kid


Sato and Takagi


Sonoko


Akako


Genta

Shiratori and Takagi


Yumi (Senpai that’s immature- shhh Naeko look, they’re getting scared)


Eisuke (White shirt)

Shinichi and Heiji (Why Kudo I thought we were friends)

The new Kaitou Kid trap


Sera

Gin (Annoying shit I did not push yo- oh wait)


Hakuba


Makoto

Conan


Ayumi


Shinichi


Heiji (Hah Kudo, told you my booty workouts bring results)


Kogoro

Ran


Hakuba and Kid

Shenanigans (I just really like football gifs)

You know, yesterday all this babydrama put a bit of a dent in my plan to write some fic, but then I decided today, hell no, I’m at a really fun point in the fic and I’ve been loving writing it, so they’re not gonna take that from me. Then I opened the doc I’ve been writing in, found the place I let off, and this was the notes for what I was about to write:

“laugh

can I have a taste

snog”

Which I found a little hilarious and thought I’d share xx

It Had to Be You - Part 1

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12|Finale]

“Thanks, Dipper,” Mabel said, before planting a lingering kiss on his cheek.

As she skipped out of the room, Dipper put his hand to his face, gently touching the lip gloss residue left behind. What had he helped her with again? He couldn’t remember. He just wanted to get up, run out, and….

Keep reading

Animorphs - The Departure Starters

  • ❝ Yeah, it was not a smart fight. But hey, we won. ❞ 
  • ❝ It’s all gone. Everything that was big and important in my life. All of it gone. ❞
  • ❝ I guess I’m not willing to make the sacrifices you’ve made. ❞
  • ❝ So no, I guess I won’t be spending my time playing with the animals. ❞
  • ❝ You have your morals and your fine feelings and all that. We’ll go off and risk our lives to save the world. You just sit here and feel righteous. ❞
  • ❝ What were you doing there in the woods to begin with? ❞
  • ❝ What do you think I am? A werewolf or something? ❞
  • ❝ What? If you’re going to try to kill me, go ahead and do it. No need to drag me off to some secluded spot. ❞ 
  • ❝ What could possibly be more secluded than this? ❞ 
  • ❝ Why do you keep up this stupid game? I know what you are capable of! I know what you did. ❞
  • ❝ Who is ‘we’? ❞
  • ❝ Well, maybe you’re just totally wrong about me, have you considered that? ❞
  • ❝ I see you’ve given up pretending. That’s good. It gets boring after a while when someone sticks to an obvious lie. ❞
  • ❝ We’re stuck here. No food. Nothing to do but talk. I tell you my life story, you tell me yours. ❞
  • ❝ We have a right to live! ❞
  • ❝ You took it! You came out here while I was asleep and took it! ❞
  • ❝ Maybe the leopard took it. ❞
  • ❝ How do you feel about mushrooms? ❞
  • ❝ I’m not eating raw mushrooms. They’re gross. ❞
  • ❝ You save me, you guide me, now you feed me? What are you trying to prove? ❞
  • ❝ You think you understand me? You don’t. Nothing bothers me. ❞
  • ❝ You live in a palace. You live in paradise, and you hate me for wanting to live there, too. ❞ 
  • ❝ You don’t risk your life to save your enemies. You protect your friends and destroy your enemies. ❞
  • ❝ Okay, well, she’s just a kid. Who’s gonna believe her if she starts ranting and raving about some girl who turned into a wolf? ❞
  • ❝ It’s almost sweet. It is sweet. Sweet and naive and foolish and utterly, utterly futile. ❞
  • ❝ You felt guilty for killing an insect? ❞
  • ❝ Do you know what you’re asking me to do? ❞
  • ❝ Your friends or mine will find us soon, but not very soon, I think. ❞ 
  • ❝ You ask me to give up everything, while you go on about your life, living amidst splendor and magnificence. ❞ 
  • ❝ It’s a trick. You’d trap me, then you’d just laugh and take off. ❞
  • ❝ Hah-hah-hah! I have you now! Hah-hah-hah! ❞
  • ❝ I don’t know what to do with you. ❞
  • ❝ I thought it was supposed to take at least ten days! ❞
  • ❝ No, that’s what happens. The caterpillar becomes the butterfly. ❞
  • ❝ Are you jerking my chain, or do you have something to say? ❞
  • ❝ GET! THAT! BUTTERFLY! ❞ 
  • ❝ I thought that was kind of funny. Like the ordeal was mushrooms. ❞ 

Interviewer: “We are here today with the drummer from 5 Seconds of Summer, Ashton Irwin. How are you doing today?”

Ashton: “I’m great. Thank you for having me!”

Interviewer: “Thank you for being here. So I saw your girlfriend in the studio earlier. Our intern, Ellie, actually got to have a conversation with her.”

Ashton: “She’s a nice girl isn’t she?”

Interviewer: “Very nice girl. How do you keep the guys away from her?”

Ashton: “It aint easy." 

Interviewer: "It must be fun though having her on tour. Do you have any wacky stories to share?”

Ashton: “Hah, there was this one time…

…it was hilarious.”

Interviewer: “You didn’t embarrass her did you?”

Ashton: “Of course not! She had that all covered.”

Interviewer: “What happened?”

Ashton: “We thought it would be funny to have her go out and pretend to be me. I know it’s weird, but it was totally her idea. It was before a show. Bunch of fans were outside chanting our songs and she’s like, ‘Hey, let me borrow your clothes.’ At first I was like uhhhh, okay? She printed off a picture of my face and put it on and put my beanie on and everything. It was creepy how real she looked.”

Interviewer: “Was she successful?”

Ashton: “It was until.” *Starts laughing*

Interviewer: “Until what?”

Ashton: “A fan grabbed her ass and said 'Ashton, did your ass shrint?’ No really, they said that. She said, in her voice, 'excuse me?’ And then ran off. She got back and she was pissed. She ripped the mask off and through it at me. I asked her what was wrong and she said, 'why do you have to have such a big ass? You’re making me look bad.’”

Interviewer: “Ouch.”

Ashton: “I may have a bigger ass, but hers is much nicer. Am I allowed to say that on the radio?”

Interviewer: “You already did, so I guess it doesn’t matter.”

Ashton: “Whoops.”