had to make an edit straight away

6

And all of those clichés I had about the country and the people, it kind of was all dispersed straight away. So we had a lot to talk about.

Dev Patel on his experience portraying the true story of Saroo Brierley in Lion

2

When I moved to L.A., away from New York, it was so many things changing all at once. So it was a big adjustment. I moved homes, I switched jobs, I moved cities….and it was really good. It was like a complete overhaul. I had been in New York for six years straight, and before that, for three years, and I felt like I really wanted to live in L.A. and experience that.” Leighton Meester for WWD.

Never Doubt Yourself

Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Summary: Bucky has fallen for the reader with the faintest idea that she might like him back. Reader has feelings for Bucky, but has more self doubt (amongst other things) than anything else and is too shy to speak up. One day when Bucky and reader are sent on a mission that causes them to have to spend the night together in a hotel room, Bucky finally asks why she has been acting so weird lately and why shes been wearing clothes that cover the majority of her body. 

Warnings: mentions of self harm and anxiety; some angst (i think); kinda long; there’s a part towards the end with a word in Romanian. I couldn’t put the accent marks on the T and A at the end of the word so…. yah

a/n: i tried to make this one shorter but it was a fail to avail ahaha anyway, I don’t do word count because I hand write it first and then type and edit it straight onto tumblr. so…. yeah. enjoy!


Normal POV 

“Hey, have you seen (y/n),” Bucky asked Natasha as he entered the common room of the avengers tower. He had searched every room on every floor looking for you. Wanda hadn’t been too thrilled when he walked in on her changing. 

“Not today,” Nat replied. “Why?” 

Bucky wasn’t sure how to explain what was going on without giving away too much. But he quickly remembered that it was almost impossible to keep anything from Natasha. And aside from himself, you were the closest with Nat so if anybody had a good idea of what was going on with you, it would be her. 

“She’s just been very quiet lately; not like her at all. When I saw her yesterday, she looked exhausted.” 

“Maybe she’s been training harder.” Nat suggested. “She was telling me how she felt like she was slowly slipping out of shape.” 

“No… It looked like something was eating away at her. Like it was more of a mentally exhausted look than anything else. I know she has struggled with things in the past but-”

“Like what?” 

“Well, studying for school. I would always walk in on her staring at her books, frustrated. And guys not treating her right…”

“Yeah, I remember those,” she said. “Have you checked the garden? She loves the garden.” 

“Yup. Went there right after I checked her bedroom.” 

Bucky was your best friend. He was genuinely worried about you. The way you were acting was not like your normal self at all. He cared about you in more ways than one, and was very positive you felt the same. He thought that maybe you had been disappearing to avoid him, but when he learned that no one else had seen you, he realized the problem might be bigger than he thought. 

Steve walked into the common room. “Hey, Buck. Glad I found you. You have a mission tomorrow with (y/n). Where is she?” 

“You haven’t seen her,” Bucky was quick to ask. 

“Not this morning, no. She’s gone?” 

“Yeah. She’s been disappearing a lot this past week.” 

“Well she better turn up soon or-” as if on queue, you trudged into the room. Your hair was in a messy bun, your leggings ripped at the knees, and you had blood seeping from a wound on your head. The blood had gotten all over the sleeves of your jacket. You did your best to conceal your face. 

“(y/n)! We were just talking about you,” Steve said. 

“That’s unsettling,” you mumbled to yourself. 

“Are you alright? What happened,” Bucky asked as he rushed to you. He gently took your head in his hands to examine the wound. But you shoved him off. 

“I’m fine,” you said. “I went for a run on the trails behind the complex. I tripped on a tree root and didn’t tumble very gracefully. Hence the blood and torn leggings.”

“That looks pretty nasty. Are you sure-”

“I’m fine, Bucky!” All three of them looked at you. It’s very rare that you would snap. Especially at Bucky. 

The room fell silent for a few moment until Steve spoke. “I have a mission for you and Bucky.” 

You looked at Steve and nodded, waiting for him to continue. 

“You’ll be heading out to Budapest. Word has it that there is still a Hydra operative; says they’re smuggling weapons out there. I figure with Bucky’s strength and fighting abilities, and your intellect on weapons and remarkable hacking skills, you two can get the info we need to take them down.” 

“Alright. When do we leave?” You asked. 

“Two hours. You’ll infiltrate the facility tomorrow, but the flight will be a long one. So you’re going out today and staying in a remote hotel for the night.” 

“Okay.” You said. “Let me shower and pack.” You walked off, not giving a second glance towards Bucky. 

You love going on missions with Bucky. They always turned out successful. You weren’t mad at him either. You didn’t feel like talking to anyone. You’ve struggled a lot with your self worth. Though it has gotten so much better, there are times when it seems almost impossible to push those thoughts back. These past two weeks have been harder than most. You had relapsed a couple of times during those two weeks. It’s been four days since the last time it happened and you’ve tried your hardest to not do it again. As a result, you’ve had crippling panic attacks that leave you in tears and ultimately end when you’ve fallen asleep from the exhaustion. Anxiety is a normal things for you, as well as the attacks. But everything is heightened when you fight as much as you have been. To help yourself find a more suitable outlet, every time you felt panicked or felt the anxiety creep up on you, you went to the training room. Exercising was a good way to relieve the tension. But as the days went on, the issue got worse. That’s why you went for a run this morning; hoping a change of scenery would help. 

You weren’t deliberately ignoring Bucky. You were ignoring everyone if you were being honest. Bucky was your best friend and knew you better than most. But he hasn’t seen this side of you yet, and there was a part of you that was afraid to show him, worried you might ruin any future possibilities. Disappearing was the only way you could keep him from seeing what a wreck you were. 

“Please let this mission go by fast,” you mumbled to yourself as you stepped into the shower. 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

You and Bucky arrived ar your hotel. It was tiny, one bed, and a very small bathroom. The wallpaper was peeling off the walls, and the floors look like they hadn’t been cleaned in days. The single, queen sized bed unsettled you. This wouldn’t be the first time that you slept in the same bed as Bucky. But with the state you were in, you were afraid it might reveal more than you could handle. 

“I’ll take the floor,” you said. 

“What? Why,” he asked. You just shrugged, unsure how to answer. “No, (y/n). The floor is filthy.” 

“It’s fine.” 

“Just sleep in the bed with me. It’s not like we haven’t done it before.” Bucky would never admit it to anyone, but he enjoyed the time he spent with you. Just laying in bed waiting. Your body heat keeping him warm, and his keeping you warm. You would unconsciously snuggle up to him while you were sleeping and that is something he cherished. 

“I know,” you said. 

“(y/n), what’s up with you?” 

“Nothing.” 

Bucky took note of the sweater you were wearing. You’ve been wearing them a lot more lately. Almost every day. He knows that’s unlike you. 

“And what’s up with you wearing long sleeves lately? Especially on missions.”  

You sat in the chair in the corner of the room. “What’s wrong with being a little conservative?” 

“Because I know you. You might be a little shy, but you are not conservative.” 

You glanced at him, but said nothing. Bucky was tired of asking questions. He wanted answers. He pulled you from the chair, your phone falling to the floor. He took hold of the bottom of your sweater and pulled it over your head, clearly not giving a shit about your protests. He held the sweater in his hand as he stared at you, astounded. There were marks all over your sides, stomach, and arms. 

“(y/n)…” 

“Dammit, Barnes!” You shouted. Your fight or flight kicked in and decided it was time to fly. You snatched your sweater back and fled to the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it. You pulled your sweater back on and began to sob quietly.

Bucky knew to give you some space. But after ten minutes, he was begging you to open the door. 

“(y/n), please come out. We need to talk about this.” 

You heard him mumble something in Romanian. You quickly recognized it as the word ‘sweetheart’. You loved it when he called you that, and you loved it when he spoke Romanian, despite what he went through to learn it. 

You decided to face your fears and opened the door slowly. You looked up at Bucky with a tear stained face. He looked down at you with a soft expression. He pulled you into him and you sank into his hold. 

“I’m sorry, Bucky.” You wanted to cry, but the constant battles have exhausted you. 

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” His metal hand was on the back of your head, securing you to his chest, while his flesh hand massaged soothing circles on your back. “What happened?” 

“It’s not something I like talking about.” You took in a shaky breath and you could feel yourself trembling under his hold. “I guess the easiest way to put it is that I doubt myself a lot and I get such bad anxiety and it causes panic attacks and-” 

“Like the one you’re having now,” he said in a soft tone. 

“You can feel that too,” you asked. 

“Oh yeah.” he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. You locked your arms around his neck as he carried you to the bed. He sat on the bed with his back against the head board, allowing you to hold on to him like a koala. “Just relax, domnita. We don’t have to talk about it right now. Just know that I’m here and you can tell me anything.” 

“I love you, Bucky.” It dawned on you that you had said it out loud, but if you took it back, you would be lying. 

But little did you know that he had the biggest grin on his face. “I love you too, (y/n),” he said and kissed your head. 

Bucky’s phone started to vibrate in his pocket. You rolled off of him to allow him to answer it. You could tell by his tone that he was talking to Steve. You tuned out the conversation and just stared and the ceiling. 

Bucky kissed your lips to bring you out of your daze. Not how you imagines your first kiss with him would be like, but you’re not complaining. You looked into his blue orbs as he said, “Steve has a lead for us. He’s sending more info now. The guy is about five miles out from us. Are you okay to go now?” 

“Yeah,” you smiled. “Let’s go kick some Hydra butt.” 


Its been close to a week since Station to Station finale drop and I think realised just now what it means to “make something for yourself”.

When youre creating something, sometimes it’s difficult to just block out your need for feedback no matter how many people philosophise about Doing It For Yourself. because sometimes that silence from a lack of response means getting stuck in the echo chamber of your own brain and that. that’s just literally the fucking worst.

during the editing and production process it was so easy to get lost in the feedback loop of my own self-doubt telling me that the script wasn’t good enough or that this idea has already been done or the sound editing wouldn’t work. it was hard to tell what part of that voice to listen to and what part to ignore because sometimes that voice was absolutely right. Sometimes the plot was dragging on too long and my decision to gut the episode and start over was the right one to make. But then sometimes comes the desire to just scrap everything and start over and re-record it all 2 days away from the release date and I just had to straight up shove that shit down and pull through. Because it is what it is now. It’s not the end of the world if it’s not perfect. The sun will rise and we will try again.

But while the response had been small, people I admire have praised the sound design and the production and the writing and I definitely don’t need anyone else to convince me that our cast is fucking killing it.

I found a passion in making it and I adore everyone on the cast and crew so so much and at the end of the day, I think that’s what it means to do it for yourself. Making a production is fucking hard work and late nights and just bulldozing your own self-criticism head-first to get that first draft out and creative anxiety is ugly but seeing the end result is exhilarating.

Because at the end of the day, holy shit, dudes. We made an entire fucking season.

Okay so I have stopped hyperventilating and crying long enough to form coherent thoughts.

- odd that the tall scientist with hair like Thor was pursuing Sheldon not Amy.

- Amy being such a naughty girl with her grammar was life. I hope they explore this more. What shamy find sinful and sexy. 

- Ramona is evil and I hate her. She ruthlessly and relentlessly pursued a man who is as good as married the entire episode. 

-Because clearly the entire episode Sheldon is not interested. Sure we didn’t purell, and he went swimming with her, However I like to think Amy as just made him a more affectionate open minded person. He is so into Amy he literally can not fathom himself with another person.

-It really hurt me to see how worried Amy was. I knew… just knew… they would bring Amy’s looks into question. Amy will always be beautiful to me… Though that ketchup bottle line was pretty funny. ANNDD her Jersey girl coming out.

- The gang is worried too and Sheldon can just not see. it! He is too worried about a Lamy relationship blooming. Literally a woman is coming on to him strong and all he can think about is Leonard calling HIS woman at all hours of the night.

-AWWW no one had to warn Amy to make her call she just missed him

- The whole gang on the stairs was hilarious! As was Bernie throwing herself at Ramona and Sheldon.

- Have I ever loved Penny more?? This turned me into a Shenny friendship shipper. Clearly she has bother her besties interests at heart. Sheldon is a limited edition toy. A precious cinnamon roll to pure for this world.

-Ramona kissing Sheldon made my heart fall into my butt. He was horrified! Scared! But he did’nt pull away.

-Then he hops in a cab, on a plane, in another cab and straight to his lady love. 

-AMY IS IN SHOCK!!!! SHE DID NOT EXPECT HIM THERE AND DID NOT EXCPECT HIM ON ONE KNEE!!!!

- His face his effing beautiful face! So serious! So earnest! 

- Why SUMMER!!! WHY!!! I can’t wait for this resolution!

anonymous asked:

hi! I know this is a really tedious ask so you don't have to answer straight away but I just got Tumblr and I'm in awe of your blog and our fandoms are very similar so I was wondering if you had some blog recs? maybe 20 ish, sorry that's a lot but no rush :)

hi!!! thank you so much, first of all and i’m absolutely up for doing this so here we go!

tolkien; @aredhels​ + sari is very sweet and makes excellent aesthetic content. @queeniegoldtsein​ + lutka’s blog is so seamless and beautiful and she’s super nice. @garashirs​ + their edits are so great, i loved their melkor one and they have such a quirky cool blog! @cerulean-shark + cassian’s blog has great headcanons and they’re a super good writer (not gonna lie, one of their fics made me cry). but what i really admire about them is that they’re super thoughful and respectful. 

harry potter; @siruisblack + jordan is a sweetheart and she deserves all the love. @lillyevans + amazing edits, i’m so in awe! @leejordan + not going to lie, when she followed me, i hyperventilated a bit. she’s so sweet and mature and makes the most beautiful edits (and for asoiaf too!)

mythology; @daphnaea + nia is so talented and kind and i love her a lot! @forever-and-almost-always + kendra is so sweet and she’s super lovely. @queeenpersephone + ahh liv’s one of those god level blogs but she’s so down to earth, and so so nice!

atla; @zuzuthefirelord + quality gifs, they’re really cool. @sokkable + they’re hilarious and i’m glad i follow them! @tenhzin + the coolest url first of all and their content is great.

voltron; @lancery + two words: top quality. @fudayk + always has great gifs. @koganer + lovely blog, i’m in awe. @legendarydefender + just. wow. 

marvel; @stark + mila is a goddess and has amazing content (and fantastic riverdale gifs too!). @thorodhinson + yes!! amazing icons and even more amazing person. @beorrn + this is my little sister and she’s annoying and she’s got a great blog. @letitiawrights + i met her through the dailyavengers net and she has such a great blog and amazing content.

personal favs; @lilttlebird + luiza is top sweetheart and so so talented. @sillydaisies + mindy’s awesome and has a very cool aesthetic blog. @mahisha1702 + she’s a v famous fanfic writer. @serrphic + artie is the person who i’d drive the getaway car for. @lokiofasgcrd + where do i even start with liza?? amazing girl, fabulous blog.

PLEASE READ all FSOG fans!

Hey everyone,

This is a rather personal post and I wasn’t going to make it but I think I should.


A few days ago, I received an Anonymous ask from a user who claimed she had previously been a victim of domestic abuse, and that my “I fuck…hard” edit (http://truesubmissive.tumblr.com/post/116952612784/i-dont-make-love-i-fuck-hard) ruined her day by appearing in her dashboard, and that it is very wrong of me to be promoting such a thing, i.e. “rape culture” as I recall she described it. I deleted the ask straight away so that last part is just from the best of my memory.

So let me be clear, everyone.


I am a young, progressive, open-minded Australian boy. I do not, have not and will not ever endorse any form of sexual abuse, be it in a domesticated setting or anywhere at any place at any time. Yes, I’m a big fan of Fifty Shades of Grey. I’m also very protective and very caring of all the women in my life, as every other man should be.


And yes of course there’s the argument that EL James’ trilogy of books and it’s film are promoting abusive relationships and so forth, but I personally disagree with this statement, as do many others. 


And the thing is, I know I insist on repeating this point, but I am a heterosexual male fan! I’m very sensitive too! Does anyone think I would be attracted to something that promoted and/or justified the sexual, physical and emotional abuse of women? Absolutely not.


I’m surprised my edit (which I actually really liked) even got that attention, I thought most people on tumblr didn’t know I existed!

Thankyou for reading


I love you all, and have a nice weekend.

- Nathan,
The True Submissive

The Finale rumours.

Alright so I’m trying to gather as much information as possible and, so far, we had three rumours regarding the finale. All of them come from anonymous sources. So, straight off, we can’t prove the legitimacy of any of them.

Keep reading

Hartoficathon II: Star Signs

Again, there’s going to be ten more of these. If your soul/mobile device cannot cope, feel free to blacklist ‘Jay writes’ and/or 'Hartoficathon’ and you should be fine for Christmas Day.

Mace, SFW, SFF, 1.307 words.

-

Star Signs

She’s fucked.

More importantly, she’s fucked in the most horrible of ways. Very much unlike those delightful few weeks she spent with Rick that one summer a couple of years ago, because that time definitely counted as some of the best fucks of her adult life.

But’s she’s definitely Fucked. Capital F.

There could have been some doubt still, if it weren’t for the fact she turned bright red when a particular blonde had sat down next to her on the porch when Hannah threw an early Christmas party. Somehow, Grace had managed to link their fingers together between them, and continued to talk about something she had not entirely paid attention to because the small strokes of Grace’s thumb over hers had caused her brain to basically break down.

So, so, fucked. Fucked to the extent where she sighs in mild despair.

“You alright, Mames? What’s up?”

Blue eyes look at her with genuine concern. Smile. Lie. Make a joke.

“I’m good. Everything’s up if you’re taller than you, isn’t it.”

That’s lame, even for Hannah’s standards. The younger girl frowns, but looks down at her computer screen straight after anyway. Mamrie looks down at her own screen, Beanz staring back at her from an iMovie still frame. She should be editing, very much like Hannah, who is clicking away and adding in sound effects Mamrie can pick up on, despite Hannah’s earphone. The volume can’t be loud, because Hannah could definitely hear her, so what even is the point. Maybe Hannah isn’t feeling the editing today either. Maybe she should confide in her younger namesake, because this might be something Hannah could actually offer valuable advice to. That’s a good idea. That’s a great idea. Well done. Casually bring it up. Just mention it, be cool about it. She clears her throat, just once.

“I have a crush on someone.”

Idiot.

Keep reading