You’re fast asleep right now, but I wanted to tell you something. Thank you for today (well yesterday and today I suppose). I’ve never had this much fun before, in any of my previous relationships. And I haven’t laughed this much in a long, long time. Thank you for playing with our daughter, and sparking all of our imaginations. You’re a wonder. Do you know that? I watched you today and every time my eyes clapped on you-half buried in cardboard boxes-my heart would swell, practically fit to burst with so much love for you.
And thank you for indulging me by watching Dirty Dancing, and not teasing me (too much) about it. I felt like a teenager again, sitting on the sofa with you, snogging, and touching, and well– 😏 It was honestly magical, I’ve never been comfortable enough to do that with anyone.
With you, I’m more myself than I’ve ever been in my entire life. You bring out the best in me. You fill me with so much sodding joy. I’ve never considered myself a joyful person, but with you I am.
I still can’t believe this is real, that you’re wearing my ring, that you’re lying next to me, in our bed, naked. I love you with a deep fierceness. (And you know just how fierce I can get.) You are mad, and infuriating, and childish, but so am I, and today only confirmed how brilliant we are together.
Two halves of a whole. My madman and me. My future husband. My soul-mate.
Rebecka sat alone at the pool admiring the view. She was trying to keep a calm, clear mind, but she knew she needed to head home and face Marc again. She had to work things out with him and figure out what she wanted to do about this situation.
Marcello is her husband. He helped her out when she got the divorce. He let her stay with him, and eventually, they fell in love and had a son. They had a lot of fun together and when she was with him, he made her feel solid and grounded. But there was so much fighting.
Then there was Rory. They went way back and they knew everything about each other. They would have a lot of fun, too, and until Bridgette came along, they didn’t argue much. Rory made her feel light and free, but when it came to him, she knew that there might be a chance he wasn’t in it for the long run.
Of course, with all this in mind, the most important people in her life were Audrey and Stephen. What would they think if they knew? How would they react if she chose one over the other?
I don’t care how drunk you are. If a girl says “no”, it’s “no”.
So, last night I was at a party. Everything was so cool, we were playing games, eating chips and having so much fun. Until someone had a little too much vodka.
So, there I was, sitting on the couch with my friends, when this guy (who I was talking to earlier about High School Musical) comes up to me and asks me to dance. I, kindly, said no. He insisted and insisted and I kept saying no. He left and not 5 minutes later, he came back, and I ; again; said no. He kept doing this for about 20 minutes, and I kept saying no.
Then, my girl friends (who were sitting next to me)went to the kitchen to get more beers, and I was left alone with some of my guy friends sitting around the room, and this guy. (Let’s call him John).
John decides to sit down next to me, where my girl friends were sitted. He just stares at me and I said “Please stop looking at me, I don’t like it.” A slow song comes on and, instead of asking me to dance, he starts to sing it to me. I feel awkard as hell, and decide I should just go with my girl friends, when he grabs my wrist and pulls me down onto his lap.
Everyone starts laughing and, as I try to stab up, he starts groping me. I scream and jump off him, and he’s just like “why are you rejecting me?” And I just hide behind my best guy friend, almost crying. My best friend (Let’s call him Chris), who just realized what happened, is FUMING. He pulled me to him for the rest of the night, never leaving me alone. Chris even held me, even though his girlfriend was there, and never left me alone with John again.
John’s friends, instead of stopping him, laugh it out and just say “yeah, we’re leaving now, bye.” Like I wasn’t being molested right in front of them.
This was the first (and I hope last) time it has ever happened to me. This is something that you never think is going to happen to you. It happens to girls on t.v., or to girls you don’t know, not to you.
Thank God I wasn’t assaulted, I’m glad there were people who stopped him before it got worse, but I’m still scared. I’m still shaking and shocked.
So, I decided I wanted to go
back through and do a full rewatch of the franchise but instead of just hopping
around and binge watching on Netflix, I wanted to watch them chronologically by
air date. Because that’s a good use of my time and energy.
Anyway! After I made it through TOS, I put together a
spreadsheet covering the order of episodes during the time that TNG, DS9, and
VOY were on the air together because otherwise I would totally get lost. You
may notice that the order on the sheet doesn’t always correspond with the order
they’ve been loaded into Netflix. I’m not 100% sure why this is the case, but
I’ve included the original air date for your convenience :)
Summary: Yoongi’s been spending too much time in the studio and you are starting to feel alone.
Genre: It’s angsty and that’s about all the quality that I can promise.
Rating: T for Sadness and a bit of Language
Spoiler: No happy ending.
A/N:Fluff and I had a lot of fun doing this- which is pretty ironic considering it was a sad story. I’m actually pretty proud of this one. Probably the only one we’ll work on together. Reminder, scenario requests are open.
Maybe it all started in the winter, when the weather was cold and not even the warm, cotton blankets could shield you from the chilling draft that was known as your boyfriend. Lately, Yoongi had barely been seen around your shared apartment- he always gave the excuse that he was busy. You tried to ignore it, you really did. It was only logical that this was going to happen eventually. You were dating a member of one of the most well known boy groups in the country and if that didn’t say much, then what would? It was a fact that sometimes, you were going to hit rough patches and settle in loneliness.
The only thing was, you thought he’d care. Yoongi was as icy as the falling snow outside your window. He slammed the door, not even bothering to say goodbye anymore- not even generous enough to say that he would be back. It wasn’t like what you were used to and it hurt. A stinging pain wrapped around your heart, squeezing it till you curled into yourself in the queen-sized bed. Thoughts ran through your mind, consuming what reassurance was left.
Later that evening, Yoongi dragged his form through the front door. The dark circles underneath his eyes were evident, indicating he was once again at the studio like he always was. He’s avoiding me, you thought to yourself, he has to be. You watched him as he walked past the couch you were currently sitting on as if you weren’t even there. A sigh left your lips and you swore you could see the fog of breath right in front of you and it wasn’t from the weather outside, but the tension in your home. Well, it was more of a house now. Yoongi was your home and you could already feel that sense of comfort leaving you as he shut the bedroom door and turned off the lights. It was a sign, he didn’t want you to bother him. Yet, the urge finally overcame you. You had to have answers. You had to know if it was you- or just him.
Quietly, you stood from the couch, making your way to the bedroom door. It seemed as if no one was on the other side of the door. It was complete silence, absolute darkness. You were hesitant, slowly reaching for the door knob and you gathered up the courage to push open the door. Yoongi laid there, his form looking all too calm when that was the oxymoron of how you felt internally. You knew he wasn’t asleep, his eyes fluttered ever-so-softly. He usually did that when he was having a bad dream, but at the moment, Yoongi was the epitome of a nightmare. One of your most loved dreams that shattered into a sad reality. What could you do? Was it worth it to cry or rather end the pain here and now?
Slowly, memories flooded back as you inched towards the bed that he laid upon. Who would’ve known that it would turn out like this? At the beginning of your relationship, the two of you were so inseparable and could barely stand being away from each other for more than five minutes. After he would finish his daily schedule, Yoongi loved to come home and spend hours talking to you about everything and nothing all at the same time. You would take in the shining of his eyes, like black pearls that seemed to be perpetual. An abyss that you wouldn’t mind getting lost in. Now, all you wanted to do is escape them as they stared at you in the door frame.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
You couldn’t believe him. How could he be so oblivious? Was this all a joke to him? A lump formed in your throat and you tried your hardest to swallow it down, but that only built up the tears in your eyes that threatened to spill over any minute now.
“What’s wrong?” You retorted, the words coming in disbelief, “Yoongi, our whole relationship is wrong. Our love is unrequited. How can you not see that?”
He sat up from his place on the comforter, his expression was taken aback as he pulled off the cotton blankets, “What are you talking about? Unrequited? ______, there’s nothing wrong with our relationship.”
“You literally live at the studio, Yoongi! You don’t even bother to talk to me anymore! You act like I’m a complete stranger.” Your voice was breaking into sobs and he just stood there, looking at you as if you were hysterical. He was making you feel like you were exaggerating. You were humiliated, “I can’t do this anymore.“
That’s when he began walking towards you, his arms trying to pull you into a hug as he whispered into your hair, “Hey, don’t say that. You’re overreacting. I love you as much as I can. I’m sorry if that’s not enough for you.”
You pulled away, shoving him back. “Of course, it’s not enough for me. This was the first time you’ve said you’ve loved me in weeks, Yoongi.”
He only let out a scoff, shaking his head, and fixing his shirt. His hands were raised in defense in mock surrender, “Okay, whatever. I thought this was something serious. I thought you knew what you were getting yourself into when we started dating.”
“So, you’re blaming me…”
“No, I’m only stating facts here.”
“Then, are you not in love with me anymore? Since we’re stating facts here.”
Everything fell silent. You were more hurt, more mad than anything. You did know what you were getting yourself into when you fell in love with him. You just thought that he’d be there to support you when things like this did happen. All you wanted was the Yoongi that loved you and you couldn’t find him in the body that stood in front of you. His arm reached out to you, only to hesitate and pull back.
“I… do love you…” He said and it almost sounded forced from his throat. He wanted to say something else and you could feel it.
“What do I have to do, Yoongi?” You asked, a twinge of desperation in your voice- no, not a twinge but it was dripping with the emotion. You were so desperate, so willing to do anything to calm the lump in your throat.
His slanted eyes, the ones that would form into crescent moons when he was happy, had become more sad, his hands clenched into awkward fists, “There’s nothing you can do. I just need… uh, ______, I just need time.”
“…That’s all I’ve given you, Yoongi. Time. Space. Love. There’s nothing else.” The words came out with no energy. You wanted him to fight, but Yoongi didn’t seem to give a single care in the world about you at this very moment. “I’m going to go…”
Yoongi took a seat on the end of the bed. Right where you curled up while waiting for him to come home. “God damnit, I want you to stay. I want to tell you I love you and you’re my everything and please don’t go- but I can’t.” Yoongi’s head fell in his hands, “You deserve more. I’m not good enough. I don’t love you enough and I’m sorry.” His shoulders were shaking, his face was hidden, and you could hear the sniffling coming from him.
And as much as it pained you to gather your belongings as Yoongi cried quietly, you had to leave. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you enough, he just didn’t love you anymore and the both of you knew that. He didn’t see the galaxies in your eyes that you found in his. His heart didn’t lurch for you as if you were the finish line like yours did. He didn’t love anymore and the two of you wish he did. It was as simple and as heartbreaking as that. You had to bury your love in the clothes that piled into you suitcase, just to get past the door with a straight face.
A red faced, puffy eyed Yoongi looked to you in the door way and it took everything in you not to run over to him. You gripped the door panel, trying to regain strength, “Just tell me one thing.” Your voice was so weak, so broken.
“Anything. What do you want to know?” He said, his voice just as shattered.
“Why don’t you love me anymore?”
“I do love you, ______. Just not like I used to. You’re not the same. I come home and it’s the same conversation every day. You used to be so lively, so able to converse, and recently I’ve felt bored with you…” He was wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hands, “But don’t think for a second that I don’t love you anymore.”
Something broke you after that. He tight you had changed and you thought the other way around. Yoongi had damaged your heart for a long time. You still loved him. You left without another word. Your two best friends went to get the rest of your stuff days later and Yoongi had cried, telling them that it was all a mistake and he was stupid. He was sorry. He wanted you back. But something told you that it was just going to be the same thing again and you needed to move on. So, you did, still having to listen to the lyrics of heartbreak on the radio from one of the most well-known boy groups in country whose producer was your ex-boyfriend.
Last week I was doing so well with my studies. I had finally gotten into a rhythm that made focusing and progressing really easy and fun. I loved it. Learning felt good. Then things started going downhill.
I don’t know where it all started. I think sometimes I get into positive habits and then I become afraid. Afraid of what, I’m not sure. Progressing? Learning too much too quickly? Not remembering what I learnt? I’m not sure, but somewhere along the line I picked up a lack of trust in myself, the belief that I can’t accomplish goals and better myself.
Today, this ends. Or at least, today I’m turning around. This morning I spent some time reviewing what I’ve learnt on duolingo. Although I messed up on things I used to know, there were a lot of grammar concepts and vocabulary that I actually did remember. Despite my initial frustration and hesitations, revising felt refreshing. I approached it with the mindset that I’m not starting over, but picking up where I left off. Dusting off the boots and marching on, so to speak.
And you know what, it worked. Here I am marching on.
I think I want to try to take this blog in a slightly different direction now. I’m going to use this more as my study space - sharing progress updates, frustrations, successes, journal entries in the languages I’m learning, grammar posts. Really, I want this to be a productive place.
That also means I’ll be posting less frequently, but I’m okay with that. Isn’t learning and progressing the point of all this? At least, that’s the priority I want to focus on now. Maybe I’ll set up a queue for reblogged things. Who knows. I feel happy about this decision though, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I also want to say, if you have questions about grammar, vocab, want advice on language learning, etc. my ask box is always open. Or if you just want to pop in and say hello, please do. Helping you helps me too, and it keeps me inspired to continue learning new things.
If you read down this far, hi five to you! Have a lovely day :)
So I discovered this meme on instagram and IT LOOKS SO COOL that I did it too. The game consist in making a drawing and then repeat the drawing trying to mimic the art style of some of the artists you admire! (I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THIS THING)
So here it is, hope you all like it, I made it with all my heart :3 Im sorry for ruining your styles guys hahaha
1- that’s my lil Nico di Angelo.
2- @indigonite‘s Nico, I tried my best here, but BRO so hard to color like Bruna. Maybe I made him a lil too red ;u;
3- @saberghatz‘s Nico. Idk why but it looks more like saber’s last year’s art, cause her Nico changed a little, but I love both her Nicos, so :v
4- @tamaytka‘s Nico. Im sorry that I ruined the way you draw eyes, I really LOVE your eyes, but I COULD NOT make justice to them.
5- @leegarbettart Lee Garbett never drew Nico but he is my favorite artist in comic books, he draws Loki in Agent of Asgard, and I love his art so much!
6- @onihimeart also never drew Nico, but her art style is so complicated that I could not even make it look alike ;u; Sorry friend!