had some trouble getting the posts to look the way i wanted them to

I’ve wanted to talk for So Long about the portrayal of anxiety in YOI but I’ve been having so much trouble putting together what I want to say in the most effective manner. I kept trying to come at this in a more analytical fashion, but considering that this is such a personally important topic to me, I’m going to try a more emotional approach. Something I don’t normally do.

So really, to start off, I wanna say that I’m so damn thankful for the way Yuuri is written. Really, seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever had the ability to relate more to character; Yuuri is close to a mirror of my own experiences with anxiety and it’s so fantastic to have a model of development and growth for me and people like me. I found the portrayal to be frighteningly accurate, from types of thoughts, behaviors, mannerisms… I think the episode that stood out to me the most in terms of Yuuri’s anxiety was ep7, aka Yuuri’s on-screen panic attack episode. 

The first thing I noticed was this: 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself in that exact position. I bounce my legs when I panic, just like Yuuri is doing here. Head in his hands, breathing heavily, bouncing and jostling limbs. This isn’t the Mary-Sue cutesy portrayal of anxiety–this is a real anxiety disorder. It’s not pretty. It’s not easy. It can’t be fixed with a single word or a touch or a person. Quite frankly, it’s ugly and you lose control of your body. 

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Yuri on Ice interview translation - PASH! 2017/03 (p10-11)

The second part of the episode commentary by Mitsurou Kubo! I have now fixed it with all the italic & bold parts as in the magazine (in the magazine they are actually bold & bolder). If you have any questions please send me a private message and I’ll reply when I have some time.

You can find the first commentary about episodes 1-6 here.

Just a note: when she quotes lines from the episodes I’m not using any of the “official” English translations, I’m translating them as I would translate them myself, so they might not be like you are used to hear them, but I think you will understand which lines they are anyway.

The translation is under the cut because it’s long.

***If you wish to share this translation please do it by reblogging or posting a link to it***

***Re-translating into other languages is ok but please mention that this post is the source***

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4

@cheshirerabit said: Shit, your teacher Bakugou idea is something I never considered but now think would be really cool. Cuz he would not stop being a hero but he wouldn’t half-ass being a teacher so it would be like how All Might attempted to hero and teach but could actually work. Plus, I’m all for Bakugou’s role model switching with time to Aizawa. 10/10 idea.

Anon said: OMG Fran now i want to see Teacher or Older Bakugou or or Bakugou with Aizawa

Bless both of you for giving me a reason to talk about this cause honestly I love this idea way more than striktly necessary - this!!! is how I like to think it would go down:

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anonymous asked:

Isn't there a really dodgy bit in Why Does He Do That? I read somewhere that it says a man who says he's being abused is the abuser in a relationship, which... no, male victims of domestic abuse exist too...

Yes.  I was actually going to post about this.

It’s not just a “dodgy bit”.  There are multiple points at which he says things that I didn’t care for.

The “male abuse victims are probably lying” thing is is the biggest flaw in the book, but the book is still absolutely vital, and people should still read and recommend it.  Full stop.  Because a thing is flawed does not mean it has no value and should not be circulated to those people that it could help.  If the book were less shockingly accurate and unflinching in its portrayal of abusive men, if it were less good in the ways that it is good, perhaps I would feel more hesitation.

I’ve read basically the whole thing so far (I’m about 20-30 pages from the end in the PDF), and here’s the deal.

He doesn’t say unilaterally that men lie about being abused.  He says that abusive men lie about being abused by women.  It’s a fine distinction, and not really much better, but I want to be clear that that is what he is saying.  Not that men lie about all abuse, but that they lie about being abused by women.  Abusive men, especially, will tell this lie to get the upper hand.

Based on what he has seen after dealing with a couple thousand men who abuse women, I do not doubt that this is true.

But he seems to think the number of abused men is smaller than the number of abusive men who are lying about being abused.  Even if that is true, abused men are not acceptable collateral damage.  It’s not okay to act like the issue isn’t important just because liars exist.

He uses SOME qualifying language. I’m not going to go digging for it, but it’s along the line of “Male victims of domestic violence are really rare compared to the number of female victims.”  After that he kind of treats it like they either don’t exist, or the fact that they do is irrelevant in the face of the much more widespread problem of men who abuse women.  I won’t lie, that’s not good.

To be frank, he does not seem all that aware of social justice issues the way that all us gigantic queers on Tumblr are.  His awareness of LGBT issues is peripheral.  When he says “men” and “women”, he definitely means “cis men” and “cis women”.  And the book definitely reads like a book written by a cis dude to me.  But honestly, this is a book that only a cis dude could have written, because only a cis dude could have worked with other (cis) men the way he has, and it is precisely that experience that makes it so valuable.

The fact that he’s biased doesn’t mean he is talking out his ass the rest of the time.  He’s not.  At the time of publication (2002) he had worked with over two thousand abusive men whose targets were women.  He pioneered recovery programs for these men.  He was the first to really get down and work with them on a daily basis, both in group and personal therapy settings.  And that experience shows.

No.  He really really doesn’t understand abused men.

But he understands abusive men.  Specifically, he understands men who abuse women.

On the one hand, it’s given him an unprecedented level of insight into abusers’ mindsets, and that is so valuable.  

On the other, the graphic and awful examples he has seen of men who are lying to get themselves out of trouble or justify their behavior have definitely colored his views of male victims.  These men – men, I emphasize, referred to him by the legal system, meaning they were entirely confirmed abusers – WERE almost always lying about it.  I think he mentions two exceptions?  And yeah, that sounds like shit abusers fucking do.  I believe him.

Within his setting, within his sample, I believe he is 100% correct in his assessment – abusers are likely to be lying about having suffered partner violence.

That setting absolutely is not the rest of the world, and I think he loses sight of that, if he ever had sight of it to begin with.  That’s a terrible flaw.

Another flaw is that it gives very little face-time to same-sex relationship abuse.  It goes into it a little, and does it a little ham-handedly but not too badly, but mostly it gets ignored.

Rather than raise these issues at all and then doing it badly, I wish he had said “The issue of abuse in LGBT relationships, as well as the issue of women abusing men, is sadly beyond the scope of my experience, and therefore this book is not about those issues.”

There is nothing wrong with focusing on one aspect of the issue of intimate partner violence.  That he did so is not a bad thing.  The bad thing that he did is to treat the rest of it like a non-issue, when it isn’t, and that he said some things that encourage the reader to be generally suspicious of men who say that women have abused them.  Those are bad things.

Would I recommend it to a man who is being/was abused by a woman?  No no no.  Absolutely not.  Those dynamics are completely different, and the abuse is likely to look very different, and I feel like very little of it will be accessible to someone in that situation.  I think it would do more harm than good.

Would I recommend it to someone in a non-cishet relationship?  Maybe, but probably not, unless I had a little insight into the relationship and felt like it would be a good match.

Would I still recommend it to women, or to people who want a general understanding of the dynamics between abusive cis men and abused women?  YES.  YES A THOUSAND TIMES.

The book is not “good” in a morally/ideologically pure, okay?  It is flawed.  But for what it is, which is a book about men who abuse women, it is very good.   He is on the side of abused women, all the fucking way.  And that is still an astonishingly rare thing to find. 

It validates the experiences of women abused by men by showing different types of abusive behavior and different types of abuser.  He says at multiple points “If you’re wondering whether it’s abuse, then it probably is.”  And that is still such a radical, necessary, healthy and badly-needed thing to say.

I’m not going to defend the way he treats the issue of abused men, or abuse in LGBT relationships,  He barely deals with these issues at all, and when he does, it’s halfhearted at best and actively regressive at worst.  In that regard, it’s shitty.  If that is what you are needing, this book won’t give it to you.

I am going to defend it as an excellent starting place for women abused by men, or in toxic almost-abusive relationships with them.

I would prefer it not be flawed, and if it has to be flawed, I would prefer it come with a disclaimer, but I would rather it circulate flawed and without a disclaimer of any kind that fail to reach someone who really, really needs it.

We could be waiting a long time for a better, more inclusive book to come out.  There’s not time to wait.  This book is needed now.  TODAY.

That said, I am always glad to reblog helpful resources for abused men, or for people in non-cishet relationships, if you know of any.  I would love to know about comparable GOOD books for LGBT people, if you know any, or would love to know about GOOD books written for male victims of domestic violence.

Reasons to adopt Otabek

iNow that everyone has been revived after getting ‘good’ slaughtered by victuuri in ep.10, do you have some time to talk about Otabek Altin? The precious cinnamon roll and Yurio’s new friend?

Let’s get to know this Dark Horse.

Originally posted by sarapyon

So he’s 18, he was the first to qualify for GPF, won last season’s bronze and represents Kazakhstan.  

Many of you might not even be aware of the existence of this country, so in brief: Kazakhstan is a post USSR country in the centre of Eurasia, right between Russia, China, Middle East and Europe continent.

So, why would Kubo-sensei even include someone from there?
The answer is Kazakhstan’s real life figure skating hero - Denis Ten.

Originally posted by fyeahskatinggifs

Originally posted by hanyuedits

Denis Ten is: 

  • the first skater to represent KZ in international championships  
  • currently 23 years old
  • is from Kazakhstan but of a Korean origin
  • Olympic bronze medalist, World silver and bronze medalist, 4 Continents gold medalist, Asia Winter Sports gold medalist
  • cinnamon roll like you wouldn’t believe how sweet

Otabek is definitely inspired by Denis, and therefore I will take his perspective to judge his background.

The thing about sport athletes in Kazakhstan is that they’re ALWAYS self-made. Neither education system nor sports practice is well-developped here yet. Which is understandable since the country is still young (25 years of Independance, yay) and confused in many aspects. That’s not fine but we manage. That however does not change the fact that Kazakh sport education is a complete bullshit when compared to Europe, USA, Asia or Russia (with the exception of boxing and martial arts, probably). 

Therefore if you are from KZ and want a world champion for a kid, these are the steps you need to take:
1. Sign them up for sports club early. No team sports, only individual. Team sports have no future here yet.
2. Once they start to show a talent, interest and/or competitive spirit send them to Russia. Russia has better coaches, facilities and programme. Russia is close, cheap and easy to travel to, and not emotionally stressing for the kid, since it’s the same environment there. 
3. Once they come of an age to participate in a competition SEND THEM AS FAR AS YOUR BUDGET ALLOWS YOU. USA and Canada for figure skating. USA, Europe and Australia for swimming and tennis. Why? Because it’s one thing to train in your rivals’ adobe, all of them young talented and ambitious, being coached by their coach, at the same time as them, and completely other thing to be enrolled in a kind of sports boarding school where the coach is from some France and other students are from all over the world, struggling to get better same as you. Goverment does not provide any stable scholarships for this, btw. It’s all up to parents to find, choose and pay for. If you happen to have a kind, well-educated and persistant coach in KZ, they might win you some bonuses in a harsh battle against bureaucracy, but it will not be enough to cover for all or even half of it. 

LAST YEAR!!!! You hear me?? He was 17, and already a bronze medalist when he returned to his hometown!! 

That means that all the time before he spent overseas. Can you imagine that?? A 13-16 year old Otabek in another hemisphere from his home. That’s like half an equator, one ocean and 11-14 timezones away. 

a l l   b y   h i m s e l f

struggling with language barrier (think he had time to perfect his English before? not likely), with harsh training and obligatory schoolwork - all on top of taking care of himself all by himself.  

Can you imagine Otabek coming back on one of those days to an epmty room in a dorm and messages from his family. Calls might be very hard to time up with such time diference. His mom inquiring how he has been, if he eats properly and does his laundry in time, scheduling for skype calls, updating him on his relatives and friends, giving advice on treating colds and stomach ache, and all those other things that most of the boys his age get for granted. 

My heart aches over thinking how lonely he must’ve felt. 

And, he probably wouldn’t be able to tell them, if anything would not go well. Because there would be nothing they could do from over there, it would only cause them to worry more. Even more than they already would have been.

So there was only one way for him: to suck it up, train hard, suceed and make them proud.

He is not trying to prove himself to himself as Yuuri, nor does he need to prove himself over others like Yurio. He doesn’t want it for fame like JJ, he wants it for his family, his people and his country. That’s any Kazakh’s default mission in life - make your parents proud. Especially after he had returned home with a medal and proved himself to be capable of competing at the same level as Victor fucking Nikiforov and Christophe Jeacometti!!!!!! Him! A Kazakh boy of 17 years!! Kubo-sensei does not joke around when calling him a hero, because he is one! A hero and a history-maker, same as Phichit.

We haven’t seen his coach or team yet, but I have a feeling that it would be the same situation as Denis’s. Meaning, he doesn’t have one. 

Denis Ten often travels (or used to travel) to the competitions by himself. There is no staff assigned to help him out. He is used to do trivial things like filling paper forms, booking time for practice, booking hotels, turning in audio tracks for the performance, etc. There have been numerous times when they had either messed up the music at the start of his performance or even played the wrong hymn during the awards ceremony. In his interview, Denis admitted to being totally lost at what to do at those time. There’s also no one to defend/protect him when something comes up, since there’s no one from KZ who has a weight in figure skating world. 

I have a distinctive feeling Otabek will be the same.  

I mean, how the hell would he be comfortable enough to rent a bike and ride all over Bar-freaking-celona, with no fear to get lost/in trouble, if he wasn’t used to this kind of responsibilities? Again, he’s 18. 

At the same time Yurio is like: 

 

Therefore his friendship with Yurio is truly a blessing. They do have a lot in common, they’re practically from the same background: the lifestyle in KZ and Russia does not really differ. It’s the same culture, the same language (KZ is bilinguial: both Kazakh and Russian are widely spoken), a really similar mindset, educational system, environment, custom etc. They’re both outsiders in the current lineup, striving to make a name for themselves. It’s almost the same as 5 years ago in that camp when both Otabek and Yurio were new to the rink in Saint-Petersburg. That’s what Otabek referring to, I think, when he says Yurio had eyes of a soldier. In that environment they’d be both treated the same, you know. Otabek as a no one from nowhere and Yurio as a that guy from Moscow. Not even sure what’d have been worse.

Also there’s a post going around about bad realtion between Russians and Kazakhs, stressing that Kazakh is an inferior race to Russians - PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE DO NOT BELIEVE IT THAT IS NOT TRUE!!!!!!! 

Our nations have always been close, we have a long and complicated history but the friendship between two countries and people is very strong. 

There are some issues in terms of racism on both sides but it is very rare/obscure case and is usually triggered by something.

Therefore I ask you to support Otabek Altin and his friendship with Yurochka!
Please do adopt him! Please do dote on him! He really deserves and needs that! 

Originally posted by christinophern

and if you have some more feels to spare, please take a look at  Denis Ten too :3  

Thank you for reading, 
with love from Kazakhstan

i love how sana’s season seems to tie in with the underlying disfunctionalities of friendships. from s1 julie always emphasised how she wanted to focus on teenage girls and their problems so she slowly established the girl squad who for the most part seemed to have this admirably strong bond, the girls were supportive of each other when they had boy or school or family troubles… but now that we see it all play out from sana’s pov we suddenly become aware of all the cracks, all the miscommunication, the constant little hurts that words/simply being ignorant/not paying attention to someone’s reactions to your comments can cause.

in the previous seasons we might’ve assumed that sana sometimes felt excluded but now we see just how much they don’t know about her private life. she had always come off as a girl who can’t be fucked with, a girl that is not phased by ugly comments or harrassment (the text on her locker) and who always has a comeback and can shake off any mistreatment easily. but now that we see the close-ups of her, there’s the sadness and the distance and those walls that never fully come down and how she needs to put back the brave/unbothered expression on her face every time vilde makes an ignorant comment or the girls plan an activity/order some food that doesn’t take sana’s religion into account and it must feel like a little cut that won’t kill you but makes you bleed. it’s the constant sores that you have to live with but sometimes new ones catch you unaware… 

sana is so estranged from the other girls that she’s probably never brought them home, never talked about about her brother in detail, likely never talked about her religion with them and certainly never brought up how she finds all of these little things that occur daily so hurtful. i’m sure we’ll get there. i’m sure julie intends to show us that there’s only so much a person can take without breaking down/snapping/retaliating eventually. i hope we’ll see sana making them aware that inaction or assumptions/being inconsiderate are just as hurtful as straight out attacks on a person/their religion.

and we can also see that there’re many layers to friendships and even though the girl squad’s friendship may have seemed like a well functioning one at first glance, we now have an insight that noora makes up lies to get out of group activities, maybe bc she knows the topic of william will be discussed or she’s depressed bc of william, deep down she knows it’s over between them and the girls make it quite clear they want her to get over william. but she’s just not ready to move on and feels like she can’t talk to them about him. there’s always the offers from vilde or eva that they could set her up with someone, like being alone was unhealthy, like she failed somehow with william.

i’m sure the other girls also hurt. chris must hate how easily the others dismissed her breakup with casper, how they never bothered to ask what happened. just bc she tries to be a positive person doesn’t mean she never gets hurt when her relationship is taken as a joke or how awful chris feels when vilde looks in the mirror and exclaims how fat she looks and even though she knows the comment is rooted in vilde’s body dysmorphia it still feels like it’s an indirect criticism of her body… 

we also know vilde basically got together with magnus bc of the others’ comments on how she was not getting any dick and who knows how triggering she finds it when noora reminds her of her eating disorder by pointing out something she eats (even if it’s just an ‘i’m proud of you’), it makes her question whether she should’ve eaten it or was it a jab that she’s eating too much? 

or how eva hates the thought of jonas hooking up with any of the girls (yes, she’s over him but still, no) or how they sometimes jokingly say she has an alcohol problem, and yes, sometimes she gets that feeling that she’s being judged for being promiscuous. these may all seem like small things but they hurt

and then there’s sana who feels like an outsider in basically all areas of life except for maybe school (but even then it’s not the same for her - gym class sucks; she still gets the odd looks for wearing a different outfit). it’s the conversations about physicality with boys, it’s the food (’that pork with apples was delicious the other day’), it’s the parties where she’s the only one not drinking/smoking if noora is not there, it’s how they arrange to meet right when it’s prayer time for her and she never points it out to them, it’s the assumptions about her religion/family/values that she’s long stopped trying to correct… the list is endless.

so i really hope julie will educate us about many ways there are to be misunderstood, how to be better and more supportive friends, how not to dismiss the intricacies of every culture and religion, how to live and let live and be considerate and celebrate differences.

Tips for driving while autistic

I feel like a lot of autistic people have a lot of trouble driving and getting their license. For many people that’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with that, y'all are valid in every possible way. Unfortunately, many of us live in cities where public transportation might as well not exist, in food deserts, in situations where we do not have people who can drive us places, in cities which make bike riding life-threatening and sometimes illegal. I would like to reiterate: there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being able to drive. The fucked up thing is a system which forces people to drive. This is intended to be suggestions for autistic people in similar situations to mine: in a food desert, no public transit, not enough money to pay for uber, etc.

Tips for driving while autistic and things to be prepared for:

-if you start dissociating and don’t feel that you can drive safely, pull over if you can. If there’s no clear place to pull over, get as far to the side as possible and turn your hazards on (this is the button with two red triangles, one inside of the other)

-keep plenty of water in the car. Keep food in the car too, but to prevent mice and rats from being tempted to investigate, keep the food in tightly sealed containers.

-if you miss the turn, it’s ok. I promise, it’s ok. Just take the next turn. Usually you’ll still be able to get to your destination by taking the next turn, and if not, it’ll give you a chance to pull over and re-evaluate or turn around.

-people will use some body language to indicate what they are intending to do. A waving hand means, “you go ahead of me.” A still hand, palm out means, “I’ll go first/thank you.”

-if you’re driving down a street too narrow for two cars, and you meet a car going in the opposite direction, just pull over for a second. Or if it’s super narrow, someone may have to back out of the street. It’s not a big deal. Try to be nice in those situations and they usually will be too. For that matter, sometimes I have to swerve slightly into the lane of incoming traffic because of bicycles and that happens too. People around you will do their best to compensate, but try to make sure you’re giving them enough time and warning for them to compensate (use your turn signal or hazards and spend as little time in the wrong lane as possible).

-no one wants to crash. Usually if you do something stupid the people around you will compensate and avoid you, although you might get some honks and middle fingers (yeah, mentally prepare for that)

-in terms of speed limit, it’s usually better to match the cars around you. The actual speed on a road is usually about 5mph over the posted speed limit.

-it doesn’t matter if you are going 15mph over the speed limit. There are still assholes who will tailgate you. (Meaning they will drive really close behind your car attempting to intimidate you into driving faster) The key thing to remember is that they also don’t want to crash, which means all they will do is intimidate. Because I’m an asshole and I hate tailgaters, I usually slow down when someone starts tailgating me. Remember: do not start driving faster. Police will ticket the person in front (aka you) because that person is “setting the speed” and they will not ticket the tailgater.

-parking is stressful, especially in downtown areas. Be prepared to wander for a while looking for parking and factor that into your drive time.

-some places no longer require you to learn to parallel park. Please learn anyway if you feel able. It will make finding parking a lot easier later on.

-bicycles will always be where you least expect them. Always. Especially if it’s illegal for them to be there. Just be prepared for them being anywhere and everywhere and not following the laws of traffic at all.

-the first time it rains or snows in the fall/winter, literally everyone will have forgotten how to drive. It’s a thing. Be prepared for the roads to be chaotic

-the most difficult part is the test itself. That’s the part where you disregard everything I’ve said about how driving actually works and just obey the letter of the law the best you can. Don’t forget you can retake the test if need be. Also, there will often be reviews online talking about which DMV in your area has the easiest test route.

-I try to do meditation breathing a lot while I’m driving under stressful circumstances. It’s very helpful for me

I hope this is helpful. If anyone else has any other tips for driving while autistic, I would be glad to hear them.

Edit: I can’t believe I forgot this! I’ve found that certain types of stimming can be somewhat dangerous while driving. I’d say chewing stims are fine, vocal stims are cool, but I would hold off on the visual and physical motion stims until you’ve had quite a bit of driving practice. Auditory stims are somewhat ok, but be careful to make sure you can still hear sirens and stuff (also earbuds/headphones while driving are illegal in many places)

-turn signals can basically function as a way of telling people around you “hey, pay attention! I’m about to do something!” Even if you’re just changing lanes or are swerving around an open car door you can use them to communicate that people should be ready for you to do something unexpected.

-traffic will stop much more quickly than you expect. Always keep an eye on the brake lights ahead of you.

[Major Spoilers] “Follow your true feelings!”: My Musings on P5′s Wildcard Couple

Can we talk about Morgana’s astute observations regarding Akechi’s true feelings for Akira? Can we talk about how (Morgana’s words–not mine) Akechi’s smile when he was hanging out with Akira had been genuine? This boy– who had distanced himself from everyone, who had wrapped himself up in layers upon layers of lies that he wears like a second skin, who had made revenge his one and only goal in life – had also, in spite of himself, serendipitously found kinship in the one boy whom he has decided that he has to kill. 

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✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  my kink is getting some fuckin sleep.  ’
‘  omg here goes your lil crybaby ass.  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up.  ’
‘  don’t start buddy. don’t you dare.  ’
‘  gay rights? true, as a gay, i am always right.  ’
‘  not to vent, but: fuck.  ’
‘  the worst pain is to make small talk with someone you once told everything to.  ’
‘  i think i accidentally break my own heart a lot.  ’
‘  sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful.  ’
‘  i want to kiss you in a way that makes you not want to kiss anyone else ever again.  ’
‘  shout out to the people who are still friends with me even though i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed.  ’
‘  i’m a big fan of anything that will help me chill the fuck out.  ’
‘  i don’t go through people’s pictures on their phone cause i wasn’t raised in the jungle.  ’
‘  i think we, as a people, just need to have a glass of water.  ’
‘  i don’t have enough black clothes.  ’
‘  sweetie, i could sleep for ten years and i’d still be tired.  ’
‘  i would sleep so much better with your arms wrapped around me.  ’
‘  me??? tired??? sleepy??? yes, constantly.  ’
‘  i’m pb&j – petty, bitter, and jealous.  ’
‘  the fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if you go at your own pace and mind your own fucking business you too can succeed.  ’
‘  i wish i could be the person i want to be, but i’m too tired.  ’
‘  i always look sleep deprived. is that hot?  ’
‘  just because there’s always room for improvement doesn’t mean you’ll never be good enough.  ’
‘  my heart is a soft and sensitive mess.  ’
‘  all i want is a big garden and no responsibilities.  ’
‘  honestly someone not liking beyonce is a deal breaker and not for any political reasons, but just like you’re probably, definitely really boring.  ’
‘  hey guys, i’m a huge fan of genuine love and affection.  ’
‘  now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab and he’s having a smoke and she’s kissing the crab.  ’
‘  i’ve been ever since i heard ‘lonely’ by akon at 9 years-old.  ’
‘  my new years resolution is to stop.  ’
‘  i’m irritated cause i’m not lovable in a romantic soulmate way.  ’
‘  i hate knowing that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened.  ’
‘  i know i’m cute, but you can remind me.  ’
‘  hey, just wondering, but are you fucking kidding me????  ’
‘  i can’t wait to be in love with someone who is also deepfuck in love with me and we love each other forever n’ ever.  ’
‘  me? clingy? yes. please don’t leave me.  ’
‘  girlfriend application compatibility question: do you keep your depression pile on the bed or on the floor?  ’
‘  anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better. this is a fact.  ’
‘  today’s agenda: screaming into the abyss.  ’
‘  going from ‘today is a good day’ to ‘i hate my life’ takes me approximately 2.6 seconds.  ’
‘  everyone needs to wash their face and go to bed.  ’
‘  i’m worth so much more than the ways i’ve been treated.  ’
‘  hey, can i claim you guys as dependents on my taxes?  ’
‘  i really just ignore phone calls. like leave a message. i don’t check those either but like  ’
‘  i honestly just want to pack my bags and go travel the world and see and explore everything possible.  ’
‘  remember being little and thinking dandelions were fun or a pretty color or something and every adult in an 80 mile radius wouldn’t let you say that without screaming IT’S A WEED.  ’
‘  why did we just accept catdog?  ’
‘  my ‘stay in bed all day’ game’s too strong.  ’
‘  you deserve to be loved without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unlovable.  ’
‘  i always forget that i literally don’t owe anyone anything!  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on.  ’
‘  honestly… us girls? us women? we always out here, knowin.  ’
‘  would an alien think i’m pretty?  ’
‘  i love boys, but only as a concept.  ’
‘  why do parents get mad when you sleep in all day? like i’m staying out of trouble and i’m not spending your money like what’s the issue here????  ’
‘  i identify as an inconvenience to the world.  ’
‘  i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao  ’
‘  dating me is like dating a five year-old. i need all of your attention and i’m cranky if i haven’t had a nap.  ’
‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’
‘  don’t introduce me to ur parents unless you plan on marrying me because they’re going to love me and ask about me for the rest of your life lol  ’
‘  what the hell is a straight person? only straight thing i know about is the edge of my beloved sword.  ’
‘  i highly recommend never having feelings.  ’
‘  self care is going into a cornfield at night to get abducted by aliens.  ’
‘  staying up late with another human is such a weird thing like you get this special bond and a what-is-this feeling  ’
‘  do u ever feel like ur not even friends with ur friends?  ’
‘  um no offense but whom’st’ve going to loveth me?  ’
‘  date a girl who fucks everything up.  ’
‘  not all who mcfreakin wander are mcfreakin lost.  ’
‘  i may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled. i have no idea what i’m doing.  ’
‘  a fun and interesting fact about me is that i’m a fucking idiot.  ’
‘  you can start again anytime!  ’
‘  all you can do is learn your lesson. there’s no point in wishing you had did differently. the past is the past.  ’
‘  i can’t believe an angel like me has to suffer so much.  ’
‘  you’re all so obsessed with love and being loved. what about just going to sleep?  ’
‘  i’m smart, but i do dumb shit anyway.  ’
‘  tbh i never deal with my emotions. i just let them ravage my body and then go to bed and then i wake up and do it all over again.  ’
‘  first of all: i don’t know shit, so jot that down.  ’
‘  i’ll just ¯\ _(ツ)_/¯ my way through life.  ’
‘  i’m tired of things costing money.  ’
‘  don’t you hate it when you’re dead inside and run out of apps to refresh?  ’
‘  who cares? do better, move on.  ’
‘  i don’t need a significant other. just a significant income.  ’
‘  appreciation for everyone who’s ever talked to me bc i’m annoying and dumb.  ’
‘  thnks fr th mntl llnss.  ’
‘  what  hasn’t killed me has just made me overly sensitive and defensive.  ’
‘  i don’t know shit ya’ll!!!!! i’m just out here.  ’
‘  binge-watching is great until you run out of the show and have to start watching it weekly like some sort of medieval peasant.  ’
‘  i’m in the wrong realm and i think everyone can tell.  ’
‘  this might come as a shock but I’m Not Feelin too good my dudes.  ’
‘  i’m alive, but only ironically.  ’
‘  there she goes again being over dramatic and by she, i mean me.  ’
‘  do you ever feel like have tried Too Hard to a friend and now you have become That Obnoxious Weirdo?  ’
‘  lgbt: lasagna! garfield’s beloved treat.  ’
‘  my favorite phrase in the english language is ‘i shit you not.’  ’
‘  i’m a real boring bitch! a snoozer!  ’
‘  i honestly look so good lounging in an oversized t-shirt and no pants. when will someone experience the blessing of domestic living w/ me?  ’
‘  you don’t understand how hard it is to take a selfie when you’re ugly.  ’
‘  you son of a mumford!  ’
‘  hi, i’m here to ruin everything.  ’
‘  you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their hands. for example, if it’s a skeleton hand then they’re dead.  ’
‘  the year is 2020 and i am found guilty of treason against the united states for vague blogging that i hate someone and donald trump thought it was about him.  ’
‘  everybody calm down, we’re going to be fine! :))) we’ve weathered worse than this! :) :) :) :) really all this panic just seems like a huge overreaction imho   ’
‘  no beta readers. we publish our crap writing like men.  ’
‘  i need $$$$$ not feelings.  ’
‘  ‘idk imma see’ = i ain’t coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a single thought, only remembered cause you asked again.  ’
‘  oops, i don’t care lol  ’
‘  why girls always crop the halo out of their selfies? stop being so modest. we know the truth.  ’
‘  maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,  ’
‘  i always get told i look like a bitch bc i’m always glaring while i walk, but i’m not glaring, i’m squinting. i have sensitive eyes. they’re watering.  ’
‘  concept: it’s 3 am. candle lit room. a record is spinning. you’re kissing me. we have no worries in the world. we’re warm and content.  ’
‘  i need to go into the forest and scream for an hour and a half.  ’
‘  pls kill all men who yell at girls from cars.  ’
‘  life really isn’t what i expected it to be. less quicksand. almost no quicksand to be honest. lots of metaphorical quicksand tho.  ’
‘  i have a question for u: like are u done… like is it over?  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive.  ’
‘  we all have that one person who ruins your day by being alive. for me, it’s myself.  ’
‘  whenever i see police i always try not to act suspicious and fail internally even though i never did anything wrong.  ’
‘  new years resolution: less bitter, more glitter.  ’

Medicine in the (Post-Apocalyptic) Wasteland: 1 / ?

Hey everyone. I get so many asks about post-apocalyptic scenarios that it’s I’m going to build you a series of posts, dealing specifically with medicine after the collapse of civilization.

Originally posted by jupiter2

Yes, this borders on sci-fi. Yes, a lot of things will be very different in your story, depending on the hows and the whys and the social structure that exists after the apocalypse. Things will also be incredibly different based on when your story is set, because things will likely collapse in a particular order. So your story is going to change a lot depending precisely when you’re writing about, in relation to The Catastrophe (of whatever type).

The difference between this and sci-fi asks is that there is very much an area of medicine devoted to this type of care. It’s called Austere Medicine, AKA Wilderness Medicine. It’s studied. There are resources. There are people who work in villages that may not have had an apocalypse, but have limited funds, access to power, access to diagnostics, access to drugs, and they do it every day of their lives. This is sci-fi with modern parallels. This is interesting.

For the purposes of this article, we’re assuming two major problems: no / extremely limited electricity, and no / extremely limited gasoline.

That first one throws out most of modern medicines. Hospitals. Surgeries. MRIs, CT scans, even the humble X-ray goes by the wayside. Providers have to go back to doing medicine with their hands and with their ears.

Oh, and a lot of people are going to die.

Enter Dani Disaster.

She’s smart, but moreover she’s resourceful, and she can think outside the box that modern medicine has tried to put her in. Maybe she was a doctor, or a nurse, or a paramedic. Now she’s a healer, a Jane-of-all-trades of medicine. She barters for what will help people in the short term, and shakes her head and sighs when she realizes she can’t help a lot of the people she used to be able to.

One thing I want to mention is that Dani will definitely want to keep someone around, preferably an intimidating, armed someone, to protect her. Because people will want things from Dani; everything from begging her to fix their dying-of-something-she-can’t-fix husband, to demanding she be personal medic to the Warlord King (or whatever brute is rising to power in your world).

The First 6 Months

Originally posted by mysillyfreedomdreams

Most people don’t have more than a month’s worth of their medication on hand. Even most pharmacies would run out of the most popular life-saving medications inside of a month or two, assuming they aren’t simply raided by bandits. And in a world without gasoline, the odds of restock are very, very low.

That means no blood pressure medications, no blood thinners, in an ever-increasingly-stressful world. That means no insulin for diabetics, no immunosuppressants for those with autoimmune diseases, no antiepileptics for those with seizure disorders, no antibiotics for septic patients. No pressors to give and no pumps to hang them on. Even IV fluids, literal salt water, will run short.

I will be straight up with you all, keyboard-mashers: a lot of people will die in the first 6 months of an apocalypse, and I’m not even talking from the fighting. I’m not even talking about starvation. I’m just talking about chronic illness. Heart attacks. Diabetes. Blood clots. Strokes. I’m talking about the elderly, who can barely make it a block to the store. I’m talking about serious respiratory patients who need steroids and who have serious trouble walking distances. Cancer patients won’t get chemo, or radiation, or maybe even food. Patients with HIV will run out of antivirals, and then run out of T cells, and die from the common cold.

There are going to be a lot of deaths in the first 6 months after the apocalypse, friends, and it will be ugly as hell. Remember that for most of human history, the lifespan was about 40 years. In a world without organized medicine and the pharmaceutical processes to make medicine, there’s precious little that can be done to expand the lifespan.

Congratulations: You’re the Surgeon. And the Infectious Disease doc. And the Midwife. And the Wound Care Specialist. And the Anesthesiologist. And the…

Look, healthcare is a wide field, and no one person is going to be good at everything. No one person is actually interested in everything, either. There is no one type of healthcare provider who can do everything, although Emergency Medicine docs probably come the closest; and before The Thing That Happened, Dani may have been an ICU nurse, tweaking ventilators, or a paramedic who’d never thrown a stitch before, much less amputated a badly gangrenous leg.

What I’m saying here is, there’s a learning curve for the actual technical things she’ll need to do, in addition to re-learning how to do everything with nothing. And some of it might be way, way outside her wheelhouse, especially at first.


Six Months to Five Years: The Rise of Dani Disaster

Originally posted by asmothdeus

If Dani is lucky, and she gets to the raiding of pharmacies early on, she’ll stock up. On anything she can get, of course, but especially on three things: antibiotics, analgesics and sedatives. Why? Because they’re what will save lives and be useful as hell for trading. Here’s why:

Antibiotics: infection will probably be the single group of preventable deaths that are worth looking at, from a supply-vs-life-years-saved perspective. A single course of antibiotics will save someone’s life, but a diabetic will need insulin, every day, for decades. Also remember that with system breakdown comes water supply breakdown, which means a return of diseases like typhoid and cholera and diptheria and polio.

Antibiotics are an art all of their own, but frankly, they’re boring. Broad-spectrum antibiotics will be most useful; including amoxicillin/Augmentin, Cefaclor, Keflex, Levaquin, erythromycin or clarithromycin or azithromycin, Cipro, or doxycycline. 

Oral antibiotics are going to have benefits over IV antibiotics, for a number of reasons, mostly portability and ease of administration; IV-only drugs haven’t been listed here. Some meds may come in a form that can be given IM; this may be helpful for conditions that severely upset the GI tract (and thus prevent people from absorbing them, because the pill will either go up or down, depending.)

The thing you have to realize is that in austere medicine, common things happen commonly. No one cares if your patient has a pulmonary embolism, or a cool dysrhythmia, because with complex conditions, one of two things are going to happen: They are going to get better, or they are going to die. Heart attacks, a major focus of modern medicine, are essentially untreatable without the risk of dying.

Instead, the most important things Dani will be treating are things that, in the developed world, should be handled in urgent care clinics: gastroenteritis (the shits) and broken bones and infected wounds and yeast infections. A friend of mine went to Haiti after the quake, and within 24 hours she could diagnose a yeast infection by the way a woman was walking.

Originally posted by mattsgifs

Diflucan. She will need LOTS OF DIFLUCAN.

(It’s worth noting that Haiti was very hot and very humid, which is where fungi like to grow; other areas may see other climates, and thus less yeast infections.)

Analgesics: If she’s smart, Dani will take anything she can beg, borrow, or steal. Common, over-the-counter meds like Advil/ibuprofen and Tylenol/acetaminophen/paracetamol, and pill opiates like Vicodin and Percocet and Morphine and Dilaudid. All of these have their place, but mostly this is a “whatever I can get” sort of a thing.

If Dani is really smart, she will go out of her way to find every bottle of ketamine in whatever hospital she raids. We’ve talked about ketamine before, but it’s worth mentioning again, in that it can be used to sedate the crazy, ease pain, or put someone under for short surgical procedures like an appendectomy or amputation. (It’s also a single agent; it controls pain and causes sedation. It doesn’t act as a paralytic, but hopefully she won’t need one).

Lidocaine in a Big Fucking Bottle is optional but beneficial for topical procedures, wound care, suturing, etc.

However, all of these things will eventually run out, no matter how judicious she is about using them. And that’s when we get to….

Five Years Plus: Back to Herbalism It Is

Originally posted by indefenseofplants

There are a lot of allopaths–those who practice Western medicine–that believe herbalism is complete and utter horseshit. I am not one of those people. A lot of medications have their origins in natural remedies and plants, and herbalism is how we treated, well, everything, for quite some time.

The poppy plant begat opium, which begat laudanum, heroin, morphine, and fentanyl. The foxglove plant (digitalis) begat, Digoxin, whose actual name is digitalis. Curare is one of the original paralytics used for surgery. The list goes on and on.

Now, an allopathic education doesn’t typically lead to an in-depth knowledge of medicinal herbs. But fortunately, there are these lovely things called books, and there are, in fact, some really good ones on this topic.

Originally posted by amnhnyc

My personal medical-herbalism reference is James A Duke’s The Green Pharmacy (Amazon link, but available everywhere; not an affiliate link). The author ran the medicinal herb research at the US Dept of Agriculture for a good long while, and the best part about his book is that it is organized by disease (so you don’t have to read about 5,000 plants to find one that treats allergies), and he grades his evidence base for each recommendation. However, there are also field guides to medicinal plants.

Once the allopathic meds run out, Dani Disaster is going to become, basically, a witch doctor, without the witchy aspects. (Or with, depending on her faith and whether or not she practices the craft; no one is judging here.)

She’s going to have a garden of medicinal herbs, and she’s going to learn to prepare poultices and teas and tinctures and creams. Basically, she’s going to bring an allopathic ideology back to herbalism, preferably with some form of evidence base. Willow bark tea is going to be a Big Deal™, because willow bark tea contains an active ingredient very similar to aspirin.

Originally posted by nutnuhmellaarts

But she’s also going to have to be, in part, a home chemist. If she does enough research she can learn how to make her own ethyl alcohol, aka ethanol, aka boozeahol, but this can be used as a disinfectant and antiseptic. (Hell, in a pinch regular ol’ wine can be used to clean out wounds, apparently.) 

She can also learn to make her own bleach, her own IV fluids (0.9% Normal Saline, anyways), her own oral rehydration solution (aka Pedialyte / Gatorade), and perhaps even her own ether, which is a crap anesthetic but better than nothing.

Originally posted by gif87a-com

That’s It…. For Now

This is just a small snippet into the world of austere medicine. (Be careful with Google searches on this topic; Doomsday Preppers are very, very scary and their websites can be… uhhh….. ill-informed.) There’s still plenty more to talk about, so stay tuned for more posts! (I’m especially drooling over the idea of writing a post on the ethics of medicine in the austere environment–stay tuned!!)

I hope this was useful, but remember also this poem by the greats of old:

When the world ends, now
is the time to be sure I
read the disclaimer.

Originally posted by the-reactiongifs

See you in the wasteland. xoxo, Aunt Scripty

(long post, sorry)

In spite of everything I love Harley Quinn but, damn, writers treat her so badly. I swear, the temptation to make her actually stupid must be terrible because it’s so often implied, or explicitly stated, that she slept her way through school. First of all, it does not work like that.  Second, she’s not a therapist or a psychologist, she’s a psychiatrist, she’s a fricking MD and a damn young one too. Managing pre-med and collegiate gymnastics that she relied on to keep her scholarship? Harley is fucked up, but she’s not the dumb blonde she plays. (also stop making her stacked, she’s a gymnast. she is 4’11” of pure muscle and is not top heavy)

If you want a good Harley backstory it’s simple. She’s ADHD but medicated and slightly robotic because of it. I want to take special care not to demonize meds but, rather, people’s disapproval of neurodivergence and a lack of focus on what is best for a patient rather than what is most convenient for others. So, maybe, around ten years old Harley is a hyperactive space cadet who’s brilliant at tests but sloppy at coursework, who would be a gymnastics prodigy if she could actually focus on technique and put in practice time instead of fooling around. Then the meds come and it’s actually really cool because she can do the things she needs to do instead of just wanting to do them, doing something else entirely, and getting in trouble. People are proud of her, she’s proud of herself. But now there are expectations. Family and teachers and coaches overschedule her, find worth only in her success and don’t care about her mental health at all as long as she’s performing and castigate her when she does fail. Fuck if you don’t internalize that. But she doesn’t look unhealthy and she’s doing amazing. She actually has to choose between the Olympic trials and continuing her grad studies. She probably has some issues with self-harm but it either doesn’t look like self-harm or is well covered up. 

When Arkham accepts her, fresh from her residency, it’s not a mistake. The woman is amazing. All they can see is a mountain of achievements rather than the seething ball of nerves, self-loathing, and imposter syndrome boiling just under the surface. That’s when Joker comes in. He’s got the Hannibal Lecter shtick down. Where everyone else sees an intelligent driven young woman he sees a frightened overwhelmed girl who is working her hardest to convince the world she’s anyone other than herself. Sending her into a nervous breakdown would be too easy so he doesn’t even bother. Instead he’s open with her, almost friendly. The other doctors are amazed, Harley is amazed, she’s not done anything particularly revolutionary but, for the first time in forever, it looks like the clown prince of crime is showing progress. He unravels her and it’s a challenge, she flinches back and gets very serious when he comes too close to the real Harley under the professional. Still, soon she’s questioning everything. She doesn’t even really like her co-workers. She hasn’t had a real friend in years. She’s forgotten how to have fun. Did she ever want this to be her life or did she just do it for other people? It starts so slowly that it looks, at first, like she’s getting better at self-care. Maybe something totally silly one weekend, a trampoline park where she can enjoy the way her toned body moves without stressing out over landings, a face painting booth at a street fair, some garishly colored downright tacky decoration that clashes with her sensible apartment. Suddenly she realizes how much she hates knowing the difference between cream and ecru. The beigeness of her life is repulsive. She hates the person she’s pretending to be even more that she hates herself which is really saying something.

After her weekend of freedom she would have called in sick if it wasn’t so suddenly important to see him. The relief she feels at talking to one of Gotham’s most infamous supercriminals is disturbing but it is relief and she’s been swallowing a slow-motion panic attack for hours. She admits, though she shouldn’t, that she took his advice about doing something fun and he teases her, what would straight-laced Doctor Quinzel do for fun? Did she realphabetize her sock drawer or buy a new clipboard? It’s not important to impress him, it’s really not. He’s dangerous, cruel, and he looks so proud when she admits that she bought a lamp shaped like a lawn flamingo. The only mistake, he says, is that she should have stolen it. She hopes the wicked thrill it gives her doesn’t show on her face. It does. She almost even laughs. He likes it when he can make her laugh and she likes it when he likes things.

It’s wrong and unprofessional, the relationship she develops, and she knows it but her whole life she’s been so high strung. Nothing she’s done has been for her, she’s not sure she knows how to really do selfish things anymore, but he knows the selfish things she needs to do. It feels good when she follows his advice even when it’s small things like the rainbow striped socks she wears concealed under her very bland slacks and sensible shoes. She’s so happy, almost giddy, and he loves her happiness, he loves her, he loves the real her that she’s had to beat down and hide for so long, the her that even she isn’t able to love. She is able to love him, though, and since he loves her she’s able to love herself for him, to protect and nurture something so important to him.

When the choice comes between her old self, the tedious endless labor of making the world proud, and Him, the spectacular man that brought color into her life, it’s not even a question. She kills Doctor Harleen Quinzel, she throws away the version of her that let herself burn just for medals and hollow accolades. She embraces Harley Quinn and it’s so much a part of her nature she can’t even see that she’s still living her life for someone else’s approval, except this time that person is a murderous clown. She hasn’t let her hair down, she’s just put it in pigtails instead of a bun.

Thighs - Jeff Atkins smut

Summary : “Jeff’s seen your thighs okay. And words can’t describe how much he wants them wrapped around his head.” Basically, Jeff eating you out.  I got this idea from @tevinter-winter, so the credit goes to her for that! Check out the post I got the plot from.

Pairing : Jeff Atkins x reader

Warnings : Oral sex

Words count : 1,428

A/N : Sorry it took so long for me to post it! I had some troubles writing the end, it kinda sucks. Also, this is so long, I didn’t paid attention to the length before the end. I haven’t wrote a full smut in a while so let me know what’s wrong with it so I could make it better next time!

Originally posted by sadiaxxstylesxxstiles

I was laying on the couch, my legs over Jeff’s lap. We were at his house, his parents being away until tomorrow morning. The both of us were watching some movie on Netflix Jeff wanted to see, but I wasn’t really into it. I’ve been on my phone for the past half hour.

Jeff was so into the movie, he wasn’t really paying attention. His hands were resting on my thigh, his thumb stroking my skin lightly. I was getting inconfortable in my position and too far from Jeff as my linking, so I moved my legs a bit, this way I could cuddle up to his side. He looked down at me as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, smiling and then kissing my forehead before focusing back on the screen in front of him.

I started to get really bored. I didn’t wanted to distract my boyfriend from his movie, as he was really enjoying it. I innocently started playing with the aim of his shirt, rolling it between my fingers, rubbing the fabric against them. I could feel the end of the movie was near, as the characters were all finding solutions to whatever situation they had going on. My free hand slid up Jeff’s side before finding his hair and playing with it, nuzzling my face into his neck.

Suddenly, his hand moved up behind my thigh and massaged my skin, some other times grabbing it. I would lie if I said it didn’t had its effect on me. I let out a soft moan against the skin of his neck as he grabbed my butt without warning. I hear him chuckle at my reaction which leads me to straighten.

“What are you doing ?” I asked smiling at him, only waiting for him to answer so I could kiss him.

“I just love your thighs.” He eyed to them, massaging them again. “They’re so soft.” I putted my legs on each side of him so I could face him properly.

“Oh, yeah ?” He nodded in respond as my face was getting closer to his, and finally our lips connected. There started the battle between our tongues, dancing in sync, with moans escaping our mouths. I pulled away for air just a second and then slowly kissed my way down his jaw, onto his neck. “Tell me more.”

Jeff moaned louder as I was sucking on his neck, determined to leave a purple mark here. “I want them-” His sentence was cut short by another moan. My core grinning on his bulge, that was getting harder with every movement I made. “Fuck- I just want to put my head between them.”

I internally froze at his words. Jeff and I were dating for a few months  and everything was amazing, but he had never eaten me out before. Not that I didn’t wanted to, oh how I wanted it, I just didn’t know how to bring it up.

“Today’s your chance then.” Our lips were back together with a heated kiss.

His hands went to my waists to help me lay down on the couch. The kiss was broken for a few seconds and he took this opportunity to attack my neck, just like I did with his a few moments before. Moans were flying out of my mouth with his hands cupping me through my shirt? I wasn’t wearing any bra under his large tshirt I had on, and he took advantage of it, sliding one hand to touch my bare skin, the other resting on my waist. He was turning me on so much. The sens of him brushing on top of my skin made me shiver, my body letting him know by tensing up underneath him followed by a louder moan escaping my lips, which caught his attention. He began to be rougher in his touch, biting my neck where he had leaved his mark while rubbing it with his tongue. I was getting impatient, feeling the hot heat between my legs burning harder with every move he made at the surface of my body.

“Jeff, please touch me.” I was so needy at this moment, needy of his tongue, his fingers, of everything he could give me.

“Anything, princess.” His kisses stopped and for a second it felt so empty not to have him against me.

He placed a lazy kiss on my lips before removing my shirt, exposing my breast to his sight. In no time, he had my left nipple in his mouth, sucking on it, massaging the other. His adorable eyes looked up to me innocently, just to witness how it got me out of my mind? He loved it, the effect he’s got on me. Seeing his abilities to make me scream for him. He didn’t waste much time after it, bringing down his hand to where I needed him the most. It only took the light contact of his hands, hovering my core to get me crying out for more friction. I started to roll my hips over his fingers, hungry for more of him.

“Someone’s eager.” He laughed while releasing my nipple with a ‘pop’, noticing my impatient behavior.

“I just need you.” As I stated my desire, my panties were slowly  being dragged down down legs, the fabric brushing against my skin causing me to shiver in anticipation.

Jeff pushed my legs apart, laying down between them, just in font of my dripping core. Looking down at him, my breath got caught in my lungs when I saw the lust in his gaze. My bottom lips was stuck between my teeth, languidly waiting for the tension to break down, those seconds seeming like forever to me. Suddenly, I could feel the warm of his tongue, delving into my folds, leading to a high-pitched moan filling the room and echoing in my ears. I could feel him lapping every corners he explored, licking all the juices coming out the second he went in contact with it.

My head collapsed against the armrest, eyes closed, picturing the work of my boyfriend between my legs. My mouth was parted open, allowing the air to pass, and also a collection of scream. I felt his fingers parting my folds just to push one in? I cried out at the mixed sensation between my legs, almost covering my mouth by how loud I was screaming.

“Oh my god, keep doing it.” I pleaded to him.

My hands went down to grab his hair, tangling on it so hard I thought I was hurting him. But that only made him moan against me, sending vibrations through my whole body. My back was arching, Jeff pushing it back down to keep me still. His hand rested on my hip, one of my mine leaving his hair to place it on top of his. He immediately moved it so our fingers will intertwined, another tender touch connecting us. As he added another finger in, my legs began to shake around his head, tightening around it and I started to see stars behind my eyelids. Electricity waves were send in my stomach making me gaps in pleasure, as I was falling apart under Jeff’s actions. Our hands unlocked and I was back at pulling his hair again. He had to keep me still and did it by wrapping both of his muscled arms around my thighs, this way I couldn’t make a move to disturb him anymore. He kept lapping on the surface of my core and every time the knot on my stomach was getting bigger.

“Jeff, I’m- I’m gonna cum.” I murmured between breaths.

He took note of it and dragged me closer to him, making me scream even more. I felt his fingers picking up the pace inside me, and it only took that for my toes to start curling up, my legs shaking harder than before. I was embracing my release, feeling it was just on the edge. Just as I let a loud moan escape my mouth, my high send vibes all over my body, tensing up. Jeff didn’t stop until I moaned softly, letting him know I came down from my release. His head popped up on top of me and he laid it on my stomach, kissing it.

“Thank you.” Was all I said, out of breath. I stroked his hair slightly, closing my eyes.

“You’re welcome, babe.” He laughed gently at my words, which made my laugh too, just before his head came to my height and kissed me with love.

Something They Don’t Know

Prompt: In which Daveed Diggs is asked how he comes up with his lyrics during an interview. Told in his POV.

Warning: Smut.

A/N: Day 5 of the write-a-thon. Of course I would post this early when all I’ve been complaining about is not having enough time to write. Oh well. Also, I’m sure Nadeska Alexis is a cool girl, I just needed her to behave this certain way to get the story going. Enjoy!


Daveed slips his phone into his pocket and stood to give Nadeska Alexis a handshake once she enters the dressing room, Lin’s advice on how to handle the tricky reporter reverberating in his mind. Having done the Complex interview with Chance previously, he warned him about her ruthlessness and her inclination to pry for scandalous information she could share with her readers. Lin told Daveed to be polite, courteous, and above all, smile through the “little white lies” he would have to tell.

“Mr. Diggs, it’s unfortunate that the rest of the crew couldn’t make it,” she says, turning on her recorder and sliding it on the table that separated them, “but I’m glad you were able to come in despite the late notice.”

Daveed lets out a nervous chuckle when she ignores his gesture, his hand still awkwardly hovering between the two of them, and opts to bring out her notebook and pen from her purse instead. He was never the best with interviews, especially when he was by himself, dressed in clothes he couldn’t afford and sitting in a room that was too sophisticated for his tastes. He wished William and Jonathan were here – they understood his ineptness when it came to talking to new people and would definitely take over the interview. But since they couldn’t, he had to man up and promote the new album releasing in a week.

Nadeska sits, and Daveed follows suit, watching as she flips to a page full of questions that she’s prepared. Luckily, the first few questions were predictable –  how he adjusted to life after Hamilton, his role in Blackish, the release of the album, and the upcoming tour -  all he could answer easily and truthfully. But when she suddenly leans forward, a gleam in her eyes that screamed trouble, Daveed knew it was time to make use of Lin’s advice: smile through the little white lies. 

“So, clipping doesn’t exactly have the most innocent songs,” Nadeska hums, choosing her words carefully, “and some of them require a repeat listen. Your lyrics are curt but very complex, Mr. Diggs.  Mind if I throw a few lines at you to elaborate on? And if you could perhaps share what, or who,inspired you to write them?”

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guys but listen

  • so after the foxes win everyone starts paying attention to them
  • suddenly the press is all over their social media and wants them on talk shows and panels all the time
  • and they do it bc they could use some good publicity tbh and they rly need a bigger team
  • one day allison (her and neil are bffs now dont fight me on this i s2g) is watching tv w neil and he is rly into what’s happening and she pulls out her sc and starts taking a video
  • she holds the camera so both their faces show and goes “hey neil” and and when he starts to look over she kisses him on the cheek (allison reynolds does not give 2 shits about neil’s scars and she’s gonna show every1)
  • the video ends just as neil smiles
  • ppl on the internet lose their shit !! this video is everywhere
  • allison moved on from seth and NEIL JOSTEN is dating a teammate
  • so they go on a lowkey trashy talk show (and everyone warns neil to keep his mouth shut)
  • the lady is like “so neil i hear ur in a relationship with one of ur teammates”
  • all the foxes hold their breath he’s too unpredictable
  • wymack takes a drink
  • andreil arent hiding anything really they just dont do pda so neil is like “oh ya we like to keep our relationship private tho lets talk about exy”
  • and she is like “well it didnt look like you were keeping it private when allison posted this on her sc” and she plays the video
  • all the foxes start laughing except kevin, andrew, and aaron
  • allison is literally losing her shit and matt has trouble breathing for a few seconds
  • and the lady is like “…um did i miss something haha”
  • and nicky takes pity on her “we’re just laughing bc neil and allison are definitely not dating sry”
  • and she is like “???????????? but ur still dating a teammate”
  • kevin quickly redirects the conversation back to exy bc they do not have the time to sit here and talk about andreil’s love life jfc
  • she cant get anything else out of them
  • so ppl are just losing their minds for like a week trying to figure out who neil is dating when renee posts a pic on instagram of them w the caption “neil drove me to lunch and paid for my meal” ((they actually talk about andrew lol))
  • and now every1 is like omg !! this is it!!
  • so the foxes are doing a panel and they get through a decent amount of exy related questions and then
  • “i have a question for neil. would u like to comment on ur relationship w renee walker??”
  • “id like to comment that my relationship w renee is that we r good friends and that id like to talk about exy now”
  • they cant get anything else out of anyone
  • so now ppl rly confused bc neil is a Straight Man and only Dan is left but her and Matt are very publicly dating 
  • what kind of sexual deviancy is this ??????????? is neil josten engaging in some kind of polyamorous relationship with his teammates?????? no one can answer
  • ok so next talk show 
  • this woman barely gets the introductions out before she leaps right in
  • “neil are you currently in a relationship with dan wilds despite the fact that she is dating matt boyd?” 
  • neil has had enough
  • this boy just wants to play exy hes too old for this
  • he just stares at her
  • he cant even speak like who is this woman??
  • he didnt ask to dismantle heteronormativity in america but apparently he has to
  • “i dont have a gf”
  • she stares back
  • “are you no longer in a relationship with one of your teammates as you previously stated?????”
  • the foxes are getting worried neil might kill her
  • it’s getting very hard not to laugh
  • neil stares a little longer
  • “i dont have a gf
  • the host’s eyes widen
  • the audience goes silent
  • “am i to understand that neil josten, breakout exy player of the year, has just come out??”
  • ppl start clapping (some ppl boo and nicky starts to flip them off before kevin grabs his hand)
  • this woman has just gotten one of the best stories of her life on live television
  • she cant stop smiling
  • once again kevin steers the conversation back to exy (even when he isnt insulting ppl why does neil always have to cause problems ??) and doesnt let her go back
  • there’s wild speculation about which boy he’s dating bc it doesnt makes sense ?????/
  • aaron has been seen kissing katelyn after games
  • kevin and thea are now officially dating
  • nicky is v vocal about his bf (like 12 times a day on twitter)
  • matt and dan are definitely still dating
  • andrew is not capable of relationships ????? and him and neil hate each other ???/
  • the answer comes 3 weeks later
  • they are all in the girls’ room for a movie night
  • everyone but renee is slightly drunk
  • allison and renee take a cute pic
  • in the background u can kinda see neil asleep on andrew who in a rare display of affection actually has a hand in his hair
  • allison notices right before she posts it on instagram but andreil have already said that they arent rly trying to hide their relationship they just arent going to go out of their way just for crazy talk show hosts
  • and DAMN
  • the way they are leaning against each other is unmistakable (esp in light of recent news) 
  • neil josten and andrew minyard are in a relationship?????? have been in a relationship?????? the ppl need confirmation
  • neil’s twitter (that he uses to retweet exy players and occasionally start fights w them) is being blown up
  • finally he goes on twitter and makes his first original tweet 
  • “Andrew is my boyfriend.”
  • twitter literally explodes and “andreil” is trending for a week
VLD Theory: Altea and the Alteans

Alright, so,, we all know that there are a few plot holes and a lot of unanswered questions when it comes to the Alteans and the Galra. Like: 

  • If Alteans are such a peaceful species, what requires them to have training droids who are not only set for Altean child combatants, but whose child setting is enough to take down 5 garrison-experienced humans in less than a minute flat? 
  • Why build Voltron, the most powerful weapon in the universe, in the first place, especially if during the time of its construction, the Galra and the Alteans were at peace?
  • How did the war even start? It’s not like the Galra and the Alteans had a distant kind of peace–they worked together to defend the universe. Where did that go?
  • How deep does the connection with the Galra even run? We know that they were close enough to create Voltron together, and that its creation wasn’t a secret kept between just Zarkon and Alfor. Allura even refers to a time when she traveled through Galran transportation hubs. Just how far back do they go?

Well I think I picked up on something within the new info given to us in season 2, and my thought process while answering all these questions relies strongly on this speculation. So sit back folks because this is gonna be a Lot.

They key to all of this is that I believe that in season 2, during Shiro’s escapades in the Black Lion, the destroyed planet we see is none other than Altea itself.

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5

I’m trying to piece together what happened to Jumin’s mom.

The really popular opinion is that one post that posited that she has mental health issues and is incarcerated somewhere.
Personally, I like that theory. A lot. It’s true to MysMe’s underlying mental health theme. And this is Tumblr. We want to take care of our mental health community.

But I think the story is a different kind of sad.
I think Jumin’s mother is exactly like all the other women. I think she married Mr. Han for money. I think Mr. Han cheated on her a lot. And I think they divorced when Jumin was young, and Mr. Han won custody.

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BTS as the Mafia + How He Met You

|||Anon asked: I really liked your mafia monsta x post and was wondering if you could do something similar for got7 and bts?|||

Got7   Monsta X   Shinee


Rap Monster/Kim Namjoon

Originally posted by https-km

  • Was a CEO of a large company when he decided to make some more money and started getting involved in shady business
  • One of the most chill leaders in the industry
  • But his easygoing personality is also one of his scariest traits as he doesn’t give a shit about killing and never thinks twice
  • That’s what gets him in trouble most of the time as he somehow always end up killing the wrong person
  • He’s so good at his job that no one even suspects that this CEO is also a mafia boss

You were the president of a rival company and had beef with him since before he even started his gang. He always wanted to persuade you to sell your company to him but you were too stubborn, so he thought that now he has a lot of skillful members maybe he could threaten you. One day he barged into your office.

“What the heck? Do you even know what knocking means?”

“Just shut up and listen to me. I’m going to give you one last chance to sell me your company and well if you don’t comply things will become ugly.”

“Kim fucking Namjoon, did you just threaten me?” you asked him pulling your gun out from under the table. “Because if you did, I swear to god…”

He didn’t plan for this turn of events and as much as he was surprised he couldn’t keep his laughter in.

“Woah, woah, Y/N. We have been friends for a long time now, haven’t we? Maybe I should have taken a different approach. How about you and me start this over by getting to know each other better?”


Park Jimin

Originally posted by biaswreckerchimchim

  • Can sweet talk people to do anything
  • That’s why he’s the best at making new allies and ties, bribing officials
  • Everyone tends to trust him quickly and he uses this for his advantage 
  • Doesn’t like getting his hands dirty and would rather talk his way out if possible
  • But when it’s not, that’s still okay with him as he can handle various kinds of weapons just as well as his tongue

You caught wind of the fact that your boss is helping the mafia in exchange for many and wanted to report him. Unfortunately Jimin got to you first. He was leaning against your car waiting for you. Before you had time to react he got your car keys and pushed you inside securing you in your seat.

“So a little bird told me that you were about to make a very stupid decision.” he told you taking out his knife and tracing the lines of your collarbone.

“I prefer not to make a mess so how about we make a deal as well?”

“I don’t need your filthy money.”

“Oh how brave! I guess I should offer you something else instead then.” he said starting the car and taking off with you in it.


Kim Taehyung

Originally posted by itsbtstuff

  • A lot of people think he’s too clumsy for this job as he tends to screw up before he even starts
  • But if it’s his lucky day he’s the 2nd most deadly man in the gang
  • His specialty - explosives
  • He likes to make a big entrance and for it to be really grand he makes all of the bomb and stuff himself
  • Enjoys the view of severed limbs spattering around, this feeling helps him realize just how amazing he his at what he does and how fascinating, strong and big his explosions are

He wanted to blow you up so bad but when you despite the short amount of time managed to catch and throw back one of his grenades he decided to have you no matter what.

“Hey, that’s not very nice!! I could have gotten hurt.” he shouted.

“Are you being serious right now?” 

“I always am. You see I got you right where I wanted to. Look around.” you looked down and saw that somehow you managed to get into his mine field.

“I like you and wouldn’t rather press this button so you have two choices, either I watch you go boom or you come with me.” he smirked.


J-Hope/Jung Hoseok

Originally posted by beatriceindre

  • Was the vice president of the company, so is now stuck with almost the same amount of work
  • He takes care of the companies legal stuff and makes sure the gangs illegal one doesn’t catch anyones’ attention
  • He’s so done with this job and would rather go on some missions to blow off some steam
  • But he’s only taken on them when it’s really necessary or when there’s not enough people
  • And that’s a shame as he’s crazy good with guns, especially long range ones, as he has been practicing every day

You made a contract with their company but somehow a they lost a hefty amount of money. Knowing that this was not a simple coincidence he decided to have a meeting with you.

“I think we have to discuss some things.” he stated.

“What do you want? I don’t have your money.”

“I never even said anything about money.” he smirked and then you understood that you told him too much before it even began. Hoseok stood up and went to your chair. He took your chin in his hands made you look at him.

“You know all of this shit makes me really tired and irritated and I wouldn’t want to take out my frustrations on you, so you better give me back all the money till evening or we will have to have a few more meetings just like this.”


Suga/Min Yoongi

Originally posted by jungsooneul

  • He’s an assassin but doesn’t like calling his job that and would rather say that he takes care of business
  • Sharp, precise, quick, silent, deadly
  • Can’t think straight when he’s tired and even managed to miss some targets (only to get them later) when he feel asleep waiting for them
  • Practices with Hoseok every single day but only because he’s the one who’s asking
  • Sometimes likes to go “hunting” at nights and you should pray that you never meet him on days like that

You searched for him because you knew he would be the only one to take your request. He looked at you from the bottom up.

“Aren’t you too young to be asking things like that?”

“Am not!”

“You sure? You’re really short.” he laughed.

“I didn’t come here to be made fun of. So will you do it? Will you kill my father?” you asked. This time he looked at you with serious eyes.

“Okay but you can keep the change.” he said handing you back all the money you gave him. You quickly turned around to catch him just before he disappeared into the darkness.

“Why?”

“Because you asked me nicely and also because I hope to see you again someday.”


Jin/Kim Seokjin

Originally posted by eatupbangtan

  • He doesn’t have a particular job in the group as he’s mostly here to make sure that the members don’t make too much trouble for themselves and other gangs
  • Knew Namjoon since high school and was asked to come help
  • The gang would most likely fall apart without him as their chill leader tends to forget his duties more often than not
  • He’s a skilled medic and that’s a very big advantage for the gang as they don’t have to go through the hassle of explaining what happened in the hospitals
  • As much as he can save you from the verge of death, medical equipment in his hands can also turn into very dangerous tools as he can kill you slowly and painfully with the poisons he makes

You were part of the gang and trained under him to treat the injured.

“I see you’re getting pretty good at this.”

“That’s because you’re the one teaching me.”

“How about I show you one more of my tricks.” he said taking you over to the medical cabinet and taking all kind of drugs out.

“Oh, I know what you’re trying to do but I’m already more than experienced in making poison.” you smirked.

“Is that so? Maybe we should start some private lessons so you could teach me your way.”


Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by eatupbangtan

  • Smug and sassy 24/7
  • Everyone who meets him for the first time want to punch him in the face
  • And a lot of people try to do that but he has great, quick reflexes and easily evades them
  • Started from simple piracy but now can literally hack into anything but usually brags about it too soon and gets caught
  • That’s how he got recruited, he was about to go to jail when Namjoon noticed his talent and bailed him out

You two had a bit of a show down in cyber space and so after that he decided to track you down. He found you in a coffee shop on the other side of town. He walked in and sat down opposite you.

“And who might you be?” you looked up from your computer screen. He caught your gaze and smirked.

“Jungkook.”

“Jungkook?!” you almost spat your drink. “How did you find me? I hid my location.”

“Did you really think that silly protection of yours could stop me? But I’m not here for that. I’m here for you.” 


A/N: Ahh I finally did it!! 😃 Anyhow, feel free to request more scenarios, reactions etc, I keep up with a lot of groups, both male and female!! 😊

Tips for young trans boys going on HRT [From two dudes already going through it]

Ok so since not everyone is actually fortunate enough to go through an actual Gender Service, I’m going to write some Will and Probably Won’t things that come with going on T. For ref, I’ve been on T a year and my bf has been on for two. Let’s start;

Won’t:

You’ll wake up one day and sound like Morgan Freeman. 

Will:

Going on T will deepen your voice. 

For some people it may happen quite suddenly, for others gradually. Most likely you’ll sound like you have a bad cold for a while and then it’ll even out and be different. If you like to sing, be aware of voice cracks and suddenly being unable to sing as high as you used to. Some guys get lucky and still retain singing prowess, but be aware there’s a high chance you won’t. 

Each person’s vocal change is different. My voice cracked literally after the first injection, whilst my bf had to wait a while for changes. Don’t be worried if it appears your voice isn’t changing and be aware it may not go incredibly deep. It will probably be more noticeable to others than you and eventually it’ll feel like your normal voice. Your pets will recognise your voice, they will always come to know you. 

Won’t:

Face shape will change drastically to become more masculine.

Will:

After a while on T, you may experience some change in face and body shape. 

A lot of trans boys I know seem to believe they’ll wake up one day and just have the perfect masc face. Everyone is different, I can’t stress this enough. You may experience a huge change in the face, you may experience almost nothing. My bf always had a very round ‘moon’ face and his cheeks have started to slim down but his facial shape is more or less the same. As for myself I’ve not noticed anything too considerable yet. 

The same goes for the broadening of the shoulders. If you’re very slender to begin with, you’re probably never going to be Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, but you might experience some changes. Again, don’t be disheartened, everyone is different. 

Won’t:

The fat in your breasts will break down from going on T and make you look a lot more flat, if your chest is small you may not even have to wear a binder.

Will:

If you have A cups, then maybe the breakdown that happens with T will mean you don’t have to bind. However, the breakdown from T alone is very small unless you’re on it for years. Also be aware that a lot of the fat in your body in general is going to start focusing on your stomach. It’ll become easier to gain muscle once on T, but if you don’t exercise, the weight you lose from other areas will go to your stomach. But also, muscle weighs more than fat, remember that. You may drop clothing sizes, which can be a pain if you’re already quite small and have trouble finding masc clothes to fit you, trust me I know. 

Also a note on binders: Do not use bandages or cheap binders. Do not. Binders can cause damage after prolonged use when you’re using a proper binder nevermind anything else. Bandages are made to contract and not let in moisture, they are not good for being tight around the chest! Cheap binders are also usually not breathable and will hurt more than they should! It could cost a lot, but forking out for a proper binder from places like lesloveboat is really going to be worth it. There is the sports bra method if you can’t get a binder because you’re not Out yet and couldn’t justify getting a binder to your parents etc but even then it’s not as safe as a proper binder.

Any binder shouldn’t be worn for longer than recommended, and will most likely rub especially when the T starts to make you sweat more. There’s also going to be an increase in acne on the chest around where the binder fits. If your chest ever really starts to hurt, find somewhere to take the binder off. I don’t care where you are, if you’re getting huge chest pains, take the damn thing off. If you damage yourself the chance of being able to get surgery reduces drastically, not to mention a whole lot of health problems you don’t want to deal with. It’s harsh, but it’s a lot better for you. Get a binder in the next size up and try again.

Won’t:

My periods will stop immediately and I’ll never have them again.

Will:

Eventually your periods will stop, though you may spot occasionally whilst you still have the necessary organs.

Though everyone is different, don’t be disheartened if you still have a period or two after starting T, you’ll stop eventually. You could also go a while without a period and then spot before stopping again. If the spotting continues for a while, or if you start to experience severe cramping, go and see a doctor

Won’t:

I’m going to get angry and aggressive a lot when on T!

Will:

Your emotions will be doing a whole lot of different things. Your may get angry, and you may also find your sex drive increases. You might also get upset more often or at things that never upset you before, or aren’t necessarily sad. I cried listening to that Chick Chick song, it’s ridiculous. It won’t last forever, be patient with yourself, there’s nothing wrong with you it’s basically just puberty (again).

Last things - 

Hair growth all depends on the person, the face being the last place that will probably grow hair and even then you’ll probably only have a tiny fluff for a long time, unless you’re lucky. My bf is experiencing hair in places now that I started growing extremely quickly right away. It could be to do with my having dark hair and him being a redhead tbh. But you will grow hair, all over. All over. Be prepared for that. You will get hair in places you never had much if any hair before. I have hair on my chest now. Not a whole lot but it’s there. The stomach is another hotspot for hair growth on T.

You will get acne, you will start to stink, sweat more and you may get growing pains. Look up Male Puberty, seriously, it’ll give you a good idea of some of the stuff that will start happening to you. Until your hormones calm down, your acne will not ultimately improve even with skincare. If you’re under 21, you might grow a little and the pains will be considerable. I gained like maybe an inch so I’m still short af but that’s something.

Your clit will start to get bigger. I know talking about the female genitalia we have is a big dysphoria bomb for a lot of us, but you need to read this. Your clit will get bigger, maybe considerably, maybe so much that the lips won’t hide it any more (if they ever did). It will rub against your underwear and/or your packer. For me it’s just mildly irritating, though for my bf it actually hurts (stings) him. It will be really sensitive either way. Be aware of that. 

Some people you don’t see every day or aren’t very close to may not recognise you when considerable changes occur. Use this to your advantage! Reintroduce yourself! 

If you self-inject, be prepared to mess up. There will be pain, swelling and bruising. If you have a nurse to inject you (like we do) there’s a change that they too might occasionally catch a nerve and you may bruise. Do not inject directly into a vein.

It’s perfectly fine to cry because of growing pains, pain from rubbing etc. You can be a man and still cry and complain but at least be aware of what to expect. 

Most changes will be so gradual that you’ll never look in the mirror and see a stranger, it’ll be like this was always the way you were.

If you do however, start to become really distressed by the changes or start to see nothing but a stranger in the mirror, please reconsider whether HRT is the right thing for you. The last thing you want is to be stuck with changes that are actually distressing you. It’s ok if you thought you wanted/needed this but then realised you didn’t/don’t. 

Last (gosh this was long). Every guy is different. Some changes come fast, some don’t. Some may be huge changes and some only small. Don’t compare yourself to other trans guys especially your own friends/loved ones. Every guy is different, be proud of your changes as they come and don’t let anyone bring you down just because those changes aren’t ~*significant*~  to them.

SU Theory: The Use Of Feeling Blue? - Their Use *IS*Feeling Blue!!

I’m going to start off by saying this is going to sound absolutely insane, but please please hear me out until the end. 

That Will Be All starts things off by revealing Blue Diamond, immediately shown crying over the loss of Pink Diamond. 

Now that is one stark contrast from what we originally saw of her back in The Answer

She was hardened then, willing to shatter a gem, even if that gem saved the life of a valued member of her court. Imagine disregarding a selfless act like that? That is ice cold.

But now, she’s broken. Thousands of years later, we learn, after having a taste of her own medicine, that all she does is spend time going back and forth between the Earth and the Zoo.

She abandons her post so much that Yellow had to come check on the zoo to catch her there again, and starts to sing a song to try to make her feel better.

It’s pretty clear that Blue is content mourning Pink forever, even willing to abandon her position as leader to do it. That’s some serious regret. 

And when Yellow suggests forgetting about Pink?

Nah. That’s not happening. It’s pretty clear Blue is having serious trouble letting go of the past. She seems to desperately want a do-over.

We’ve seen this character dynamic before.

I suspect the color parallels between Greg/Pearl and Yellow/Blue Diamond in Mr. Greg and this episode are foreshadowing.

Greg is Yellow, and Pearl is Blue. Pearl was unable to let go of the past, unable to get over losing Rose. Blue Diamond can’t accept having lost Pink. Even the names of their lost loved ones is the same name in different languages, it can’t get much more in your face than that really. They even fucking color coded it for us.

Greg helped Pearl move on after having been considered an enemy by Pearl for ages. Yellow Diamond is shown consistently trying to help Blue, doing anything in her power to do so, despite Blue’s clear disdain of Yellow’s efforts. 

But that’s where the similarities end, after that we end up with some interesting contrasts:

In Mr Greg, Steven was singing them a song that reminded them they’re all family, and how they needed someone who knew what they’re going through.

But in That Will Be All?

There’s empathy in the song, sure, Yellow understands Blue’s pain, but 

She’s lying to herself. She hasn’t moved on at all. Her repeating of the question ”What’s the use of feeling?” at the end implies she curses her own emotions for being so hard to repress. That’s why she wants to destroy the planet and forget about Pink altogether. They’re not talking anything out, Yellow is trying to push Blue along. Push herself along. She grasps the railing turning away from Blue Diamond as though in shame, here she was claiming to be above it all yet the moment she lets herself remember just a bit, she deteriorates. As though it’s the first time she’s allowing herself to feel anything about Pink’s death in thousands of years.

So the difference is, Steven’s song was about getting closure, while Yellow’s is more about repressing and damning the emotions that she can’t resolve. She was just projecting onto Blue.

That’s not all though. 

Greg was able to heal part of the pain of losing Rose by raising Steven, by telling him about his mom, by re-living his memories of his dead wifu with his son. What i mean is, having his son there to share in the pain of missing Rose helped a lot. Helps both of them a lot.

And as for Pearl, whenever she needed to, she could bring up a hologram of Rose and literally re-live her PTSD memories ad nauseum to get them all out of her system. In a way, she did get her do-over. She, at the very least, got to work out how to say goodbye, so that by the time she and Greg squashed the beef, she was ready and could finally move on to Mystery Girl.

But with the Diamonds? it’s a much more tragic picture. Yellow is in denial and wants to rush through/repress her pain and destroy the things that remind her of her loss. She refuses to face it. Blue on the other hand just can’t stop facing it. Not until she gets some sort of closure like Pearl. But that’s impossible, right?

I thought so too, until I heard this line;

WHAT!?

Hold the fuck up. Employ????? Blue wants to employ the Rose Quartz line? 

ALL OF THEM!??

Why?!?  Welp, hold on to your butts;

Yellow Diamond sings two pertinent verses: 

“Why would you want to employ her
Subjects that destroyed her?
Why keep up her silly
Zoo? Oh, tell me
What’s the use of feeling, Blue?“

and

“An army has a use
They can go and fight a war
A Sapphire has a use
She can tell you what it’s for
An Agate terrifies
A Lapis terraforms“

Yellow is juxtaposing the use of the Rose Quartz gems, as well as other gems in their society, with the use of emotions. What has Steven Universe been teaching us this whole time about emotions? What can they help you do? 

Heal. 

What else have we seen that heals things? 

Tears.

Blue claims she wants to go to Earth to preserve specimens. 

But what if she’s looking for her do-over instead? What if her regret and depression are so deep, they’ve driven her to want to go down to Earth to find Pink’s shards and have the Rose Quartz line, the entire line, cry on them? 

BONUS:

Whatever happens, the Rose Quartz line’s healing tears can be used to fix other huge, previously unsolvable problems:

EVAK FANFICTION RECS / PART 10

Halla! So, as time comes and goes, I’m here with another masterpost of some of my favorite Evak fanfics for you guys. As you can see, I’m trying to be a bit more creative and make these posts look at least somewhat more appealing, so I hope you like this little header I made (even though I suck at Photoshop).

As always, the list is divided into oneshots and chaptered fics.
My personal favorites are tagged with a “ ★ ”.
Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “ ✓ ”

Without further ado, all the fanfics can be found under the cut. Enjoy!

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