habitualization

I know a lot of you are soon waking up to Peter’s videos and no doubt a frenzy of concern and perhaps panic will ensue. I worry about Peter. I’ve worried about him for 13 years. As much as I’ve worried about people in my own life who I love, some of whom struggle and have struggled with the same issues and illness Peter has. We don’t know if the photos are new, if he’s habitually using, slipping up, or reminiscing in that gut-punching, raw way he sometimes does, that way that turns your stomach and takes you into the darkest corners of his pain. It’s always been a shock to find such casual horror inside such a gentle man. I do know speculation doesn’t help, nor anger, nor sadness, nor disappointment. All of those emotions are a burden for us and for him. All we can do is surround him with what Carl once called a “tsunami of love,” and hope that if he’s looking for a way home that love will support the weight of his journey. But Peter is sick, he will always be sick, even when he’s clean. Addiction is a lifelong affliction, and it’d be naive to believe he walked out of Hope into the sunset never to struggle again. Whatever the reason he’s looking inside himself in the bleak way he feels he must right now, let’s just remind him that we love him. Unconditionally, as we always have. 

anonymous asked:

Your family is so lovely- I love following fellow lgbt+ families and seeing all our similarities and differences. I just had twins 7 weeks ago and my toddler is having a very rough time with the transition. Now that both babies are home from the hospital, my toddler is throwing huge fits and having very bad sleep regression. How did your little boy deal with his new baby? Any tips?

Thank you!

In the month leading up to Squishy’s birth, Minky (who had up to that point been great about bedtime/sleep) started really struggling with staying in his room at bedtime, and also started habitually sneaking into our room in the night. We’ve had similar things happen now again as he started up preschool and I headed back to work. I think it’s just one of his ways of trying to exert control over his life and cope with the emotions that come along with any of those changes…thankfully that hasn’t really included fits outside of bedtime (and he’s been really remarkably sweet and caring towards the baby).

My best advice is to stay patient, to show your toddler love and spend quality time with them when you can, and to keep reinforcing positive routines. It can definitely be pretty maddening at times, but just remember that it will get better eventually. I have to keep telling myself that as we go through this again ourselves.

Good luck!

anonymous asked:

i think part of the reason bella smokes is to stay thin, makes me sad tho because all that smoking will def catch up in like ten years. look at kate moss shes a habitual smoker and imo looks so old now when she really isnt that old

Kate Moss was doing wayyyyy more than just smoking cigarettes though. It’ll catch up to her physically and in her body, if it isn’t already making her sick. I think she started smoking because she was around a lot of people way older than her that all smoked so she did it to fit in. Jesse and Bella were 19/20 and 14 when they became friends, and her friend Gabby (who’s the same age as her) was smoking when they were 15, too. I’m sure the skinny factor helps but not everyone who smokes gets skinny, she was still smoking when she gained weight a year or two ago.

I keep thinking about that virgo moon post especially when cherry said, “there is something about virgo that involves detaching from the needs of the self and giving to larger-than-personal causes, often at great compromise to their own strive for perfection” and I cannot even fucking believe how accurate that is!! I nearly grind myself down to nothing trying to live up to my own perfectionism every day but when something or someone takes me out of that cycle just by needing me, I can put my tiring habitual/cyclical thinking aside to focus on this Bigger Thing and I feel freer and true finally

[There’s a] frequently misunderstood construction that linguists refer to as the “habitual be.” When speakers of standard American English hear the statement “He be reading,” they generally take it to mean “He is reading.” But that’s not what it means to a speaker of Black English, for whom “He is reading” refers to what the reader is doing at this moment. “He be reading” refers to what he does habitually, whether or not he’s doing it right now.

D'Jaris Coles, a doctoral student in the communication disorders department, and a member of the African-American English research team, gives the hypothetical example of Billy, a well-behaved kid who doesn’t usually get into fights. One day he encounters some special provocation and starts scuffling with a classmate in the school yard. “It would be correct to say that Billy fights,” Coles explains, “but he don’t be fighting.”

Janice Jackson, another team member who is also working on a Ph.D. in communication disorders, conducted an experiment using pictures of Sesame Street characters to test children’s comprehension of the “habitual be” construction. She showed the kids a picture in which Cookie Monster is sick in bed with no cookies while Elmo stands nearby eating cookies. When she asked, “Who be eating cookies?” white kids tended to point to Elmo while black kids chose Cookie Monster. “But,” Jackson relates, “when I asked, ‘Who is eating cookies?’ the black kids understood that it was Elmo and that it was not the same. That was an important piece of information.” Because those children had grown up with a language whose verb forms differentiate habitual action from currently occuring action (Gaelic also features such a distinction, in addition to a number of West African languages), they were able even at the age of five or six to distinguish between the two.

— 

SYNERGY - African American English

The Sesame Street study is now a classic in “habitual be” research: here’s the article that it comes from (paywalled, but you can read the abstract and first few pages). 

The cruelest part of this chronic illness is that it let me start with a normal life. Then it took it all away.

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Elegant Cityscape Rings by Ola Shekhtman

Jewelry designer Ola Shekhtman (previously featured here) began her professional career as a goldsmith student in St. Petersburg, Russia. Shekhtman’s exceptional talent allows her to hand make every process in the creation of her contemporary designs. She manually melts metal and is responsible for rolling, sawing, soldering and polishing every detail by hand.

An avid traveler, the Serbian-born artist habitually relocates with her family every couple of years to a different city. Inspired by different cityscapes, sceneries and aesthetics, Shekhtman’s creations are a direct reflection of her personal life. In addition to being an expert with working with metal, she is trained in 3D modeling. Her collection of rings features major cities, including New York, Hong Kong, San Francisco, London and Dubai among others. You can find the entire series in her Etsy shop.

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Nick Winter breaks down the idea of the elusive “motivation” to a science, and gives practical tools to have your most productive year yet. All of this told through the lens of a 3 month period he spent hacking his motivation and accomplishing crazy amounts of things at once all while having a blast. I’m already re-reading this one before the start of the new year!

2. Never Eat Alone

I don’t know about you, but the idea of “networking” and “making connections” has always mortified me. That is, until Keith Ferrazzi enlightened me on how to make authentic and meaningful connections that are a win-win for all involved. Think of this as a modern “How To Win Friends and Influence People”. 

3. The Desire Map

Danielle Laporte’s spiritual approach isn’t for everyone, but it’s the best fit for me I’ve found on how to set meaningful goals. Laporte theorizes that what we want to achieve isn’t necessarily measured in stats as much as it is in how we want to feel after it’s all said and done. By aiming for the end feeling instead of soulless achievements, we fall in love with the process as well as the end result! This completely revolutionized the way I look at goal-setting and I’m definitely using this as a blueprint for my resolutions this year.

4. The Habitual Hustler

Cory Breier has compiled a huge amount of testimonials from entrepreneurs, bloggers, writers, and more on the routines they keep in order to be/stay successful! I thought the scope of this was especially helpful, as you get a wide range of people. Think of it as a collection of “morning/night routines” for successful people! This has really helped me begin to decide how I want to create a ritual that works for me!

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Hummingbird stops by for snacks

Dying Lion Had No Hope Of Survival – Until She Found Love

Lions Kahn and Sheila were rescued by Texas’ In-Sync Exotics Wildlife Rescue and Education Center from an owner who habitually rented them for photo ops and parties. Due to the levels of stress, poor maintenance and boredom, 6-year-old Kahn was malnourished and has the end of his tail chewed off, while his young friend Sheila was dying.

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ME1 Mako Headcanons
  • shepard:only permitted to drive on flat terrain due to habitual use of thrusters while reaching apexes of hills. further allowances are made while engaging thresher maws because to quote wrex, "only shepard is that crazy".
  • kaidan:granted nickname "roadtrip" by garrus after being the designated driver in mountainous areas due to his tendency to find paths around versus straight up. otherwise on hand to repair whatever breaks after shepard rolls them off another cliff.
  • ashley:permanently and unanimously banned from driving after asking the party if they ever thought about god while piloting too close to magma on therum.
  • garrus:handles the main gun. known to pout and pull his shots to the right on purpose while on foot if not allowed to handle the main gun.
  • wrex:relegated to the rear seats after intentionally bumping around the cabin too much while making comments about tomkahs having "a much smoother ride".
  • liara:has been requested thirty-seven times by squadmates not to argue with the mako vi when it is detailing local planetary history.
  • tali:hops out "just to flag a mineral deposit". spends the next fifteen minutes blasting an ambushing colossus with a shotgun while clinging to the roof.