hab*

THOUGHTS OF A HOCKEY FAN

1.) “Why’d they blow the play dead?”

2.) “How is that even a penalty?”

3.) “What is ‘goaltender interference’?”

4.) “How the shit is that goaltender interference?”

5.) “That was the weakest penalty call I’ve ever seen.”

6.) “What the fuck are you even doing ref?”

7.) “ThAt’S nOt A pEnAlTy YoU bLiNd FuCk.”

8.) “Shut up Pierre.”

9.) “I hate every single one of these players, why are you even in the NHL.”

10.) “I can’t actually believe I’m watching beer league players.”

11.) “Wait…. When did he get traded? Who even are these people.”

12.) “I hate hockey and the players hate me.”

13.) “Oh there’s gonna be a figh–false alarm, they just hugged.”

14.) “Our goalie is going to kill every single one of his teammates and I might actually help.”

15.) “What the actual hell is our coach even doing? Can he be fired pls.”

Bonus: “I miss hockey.”

playoff hockey? did you mean:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!??!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!

Ich küsse dein Herz und falls es verletzt ist, nimm mein Herz und ich hoff es ersetzt es.
  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: How do hockey players manage to sit at the exact right place on the bench where they have access to their water bottle? How do they know which one is theirs? Do they have their name and/or number on it? Or do they just grab whatever one is there and take a swing? And how to their mouth guards never break? We always see shots of them chewing on them with full force, those things must be indestructible. And how do players know when to get off the ice? They need to be alert to execute plays and play some badass hockey, but they also need to know their cues to know when another player is taking over? Does their coach just fucking yell as loud as he can so the whole ice can hear? And usually they'll switch a whole line together so how do they do it so that there's no empty spaces on the ice? Man I love hockey, but I need answers.