Hey Red! Can I ask a very personal question? Do you have like, ADHD, & do a sort of stimming like, (idksorryweirdlyspecificsorry) having a very vivid imagination & intense stories played out in your head that you sorta halfway act them out (in private)? If not, but you maybe have some experience with stimming, you have some tips on how to not be embarrassed over something that help you relax?... Well fuck this whole question if you feel like it's way outta your comfort zone to answer ha ha ^^''/
Because these topics are pretty personal and sensitive, before I answer this I wanna make it clear that anything and everything I say from now on comes from a place of love and understanding, and I’m not schooling or judging anyone. Right-o.
Alright so for context, what I have specifically is ADD. Now what you have described here, I don’t know that I would call it stimming… perhaps it could be for some people. I wouldn’t consider it so, personally. However. If you check the definition of maladaptive daydreaming, you’ll find it very accurately approximate to the behavior you’ve mentioned. Now it could just be daydreaming, to be fair. As long as the mount of time you spend in those imaginary scenarios is not exorbitant, and as long as it doesn’t interfere with your life and/or keep you from performing or finishing tasks, it should be alright. Basically if you don’t space out continuously and it doesn’t affect your work/school/personal life, (and your perception of what’s real and what’s only in your head) I wouldn’t consider it maladaptive.
But it can easily become so. So watch out for that. If it is completely harmless, however, and it keeps you somewhat sane and relaxed, and helps with your ADHD, then I don’t see how it’s shameful. You don’t need to be embarrassed about it. Specially if you’re in the privacy of your own room. Like, do whatever the hell you want. You could friggin’ LARP those damn scenarios and no one can see you, complain, or judge, so who gives a damn.
Plus benign forms of daydreaming can be extremely beneficial for certain kinds of people. Many artists come up with stories and characters this way. Many others get better at confronting people or speaking in public, ironically, since you play out conversations and scenarios so often inside (and sometimes outside, as you mentioned) your head.
It’s all a matter of degrees. Just remember to keep your feet on the ground if your head’s in the clouds.