h50 spoiler

This Time Around

Steve have come to know Danny better than anyone in his life, he knew his facial expressions, tones and neuroses. The man is now so interwoven in Steve’s life they even share an organ. 

That is why he knows Danny won’t leave Rachel or the children, all alone when Stan was definitely leaving Hawai’i and severing the familial ties that held him there. He knows his partner would be there to support them, because that was Danny at the end of the day; devoted to those he cared about. 

The possibility of Rachel being in love with Danny, after all the history between them weighted heavy on Steve’s mind. That and Harry’s observation of how Danny said he had a “girlfriend I like.” Not love but like. It weighted uneasy atop Steve’s shoulder, because after 3 years together he still couldn’t say he loved Melissa…

Steve enjoyed his night out with Harry, listening to stories about his father put his “Danny Worries” in the back of his mind even for a while. He even accepted the hard-boiled former P.I.’s ribbing about his relationship with his partner. “Kid, you’re more married to muscles than I was to any of my ex-wives.”

Steve laughed it up but he didn’t deny it. It was true, and with that in mind he made his way home; where the waves broke ashore, and the sea surrounded him and he could let his mind wonder.

And oh boy, does it ever.

He starts with their latest misadventure: The dirty bomb and the process of surviving it “I love you, bro.” (Goodness, it was impossible not to wince at that), their “Valentine’s day” retreat with their girlfriends “I don’t want her to think I’m an antisocial weirdo.” - “But you’re an antisocial weirdo.” (Steve likes that about Danny and how come Melissa hadn’t realized that after all this time?), Meeting Bridget “heard a lot about you.”- “I love your mother.” (He did love Clara and The Williams’s gang. They were loud and colorful and warm), Max leaving “You don’t have to dance with me tonight.” The poker game and Grace’s dance (and fuck he’d been terrified, so so scared about them.) “I’d give you a kiss, I’d give you a hug. Pick a base.” Morocco and his mother and Catherine, and London with a spy, and the roof of the hotel while he chased a manipulated serial killer “Steve, stop!” (He did, he stopped…because Danny said so.)

The further back he went, the more Danny; he followed the wisps of connection and pulled on the strands of memory…The plane (he remembers very little but the immediacy of dying and the need to let Danny know. Apparently, Danny had copied a stunt out of his playbook to save him, to save the day and make sure Steve’s promise was fulfilled- even when they have been…) Deb dying, The CIA, Colombia (Matt, goddamn that had almost broken Danny), Charlie’s illness, the explosion and the fucking building collapsed on top of them, Afghanistan, North Korea…Hawai’i “Buddy, your dad died 4 years ago.”  (It almost broke him!) “ Listen to me. I’m gonna get you out of this thing.” (he did, and it cost him Charlie for 3 long years. Oh god!)

Steve threw his head back and groaned. Back then he ignored a very radical core truth, put a stopper in it before it overflowed because he’d seen Rachel cuddling with Danny; he’d stopped himself then, and afterward he couldn’t backtrack, along the way, they have grown in closer and more. 

And…

And…

And…

The lock turned and Steve moved his head sideways, there was only one person with keys to his house; Danny.

He looked pensive just like in the morning, his bottom lip plump from where he had bitten it in deep thought. “Hey, babe.”

“How did it go?” He asks as Danny takes a seat beside him. They’re close enough that Steve can wrap his arm around Danny’s shoulder, so he does. 

“It sucked.” Danny huffs and melts against Steve’s side. “It sucked, but they are a strong bunch and…”

Steve waited him out, Danny just had to find his words. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have come over. Steve tightens his hold on Danny and prods. “And?”

“I think Stan might be right.” He doesn’t sound ecstatic, or pissed. He sounds and looks uncertain, a little bit lost.

Steve fights the urge to tense up, but Danny feels it anyway. It’s Danny, and goddamnit! Danny turns and then they’re looking at each other less than a foot apart and Steve realizes that no matter what their bond had always been infused in More and Mine and Always. 

Don’t.” He says but is a plea and they both hear it. “Danny, don’t.”

“I won’t,” Danny whispers like a secret and a promise. “I won’t, Steve.”

Steve wraps his fingers around Danny’s nape and brings their foreheads together. He sees Danny close his eyes and feels his hand around the arm holding him. Steve closes his eyes and they breathe in as one. He can’t help but smile because Danny had learned Hawaiian customs and had made a home of this island and family out of Steve. 

He wouldn’t kiss Danny yet, he wants to do this right, he wants to make it perfectly clear that he’d found his harbor and this time around he wasn’t going to pass it by. Lovely, English ex-wife be damned.

Looking at spoilers for the next​ upcoming episode pissed me off. Please for the love of God, DO NOT LET DANNY GET BACK TOGETHER WITH RACHEL. That is a no no. This woman has tried to keep his child away from him, moved away to another state thousands of miles away from home, LIED ABOUT FATHERING CHARLIE FOR 3 YEARS. What really blows me is some people want them together. I’m like WTF man. Why would anyone want a toxic ass relationship like that? It’s worst than Steve and Catherine getting back together. Either let McDanno happen(I wish), show the guys working on their current relationships, or cast women that has some chemistry with the 2 leads. Why are PL and the writers trying to force these toxic ass relationships is beyond me.

Some thoughts on the H50 season 7 finale (SPOILERS)

I’ve been thinking about this radiation sickness thing. 

Okay, thinking isn’t the right word. The Danny in my head is sick with it, even though I’ve already promised him that it’s not going anywhere near any of the fic lands I’ve already written. The fact that there’s a Danny out there SOMEWHERE who’s facing the idea of losing his Steve forever is more than either he or I can really handle, and we both try to avoid each other so we don’t combine into some sort of Super Worrier Panic Death Spiral. 

But my inner writer has been chewing over it for entirely different reasons.
H50’s grasp of proper medicine is only slightly higher than my six-year-old niece’s, and it’s entirely possible they’ll just hand wave this away they way they do everything else. If that happens, both my inner Danny and I will breathe an enormous sigh of relief. But if they don’t, the plot just doesn’t make a lot of sense from a writerly standpoint.

Because the thing is, in the terms of crime fighting television, it’s an extremely *weird* narrative choice. Because I can totally believe the writers are capable of killing off Steve for good, esp. since Alex has expressed an interest in leaving the show at the end of season 8 (if writing is the Force, TV writers are absolutely on the Dark Side), but killing him slowly makes no *sense* according to the show’s format. 

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The Five Love Languages | [insp]

1. Words of Affirmation: Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time: In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3. Receiving Gifts: Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. Acts of Service: Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch: This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.