Bar none the funniest aspect of H50 season one is how hard Steve works to make Danny like him

Like you’ve got Chin who he bonds with over football and being his dad’s partner

And Kono who also loves to surf and beat up bad guys

Then you have Danny……. who he buys a room for at an expensive hotel for the weekend so he and his daughter can swim with the dolphins and has the governor lowkey blackmail a private citizen so Danny won’t lose custody rights to his daughter. And then Steve kills his corrupt SEAL buddy and Danny’s like “you need to choose your friends better” and he’s like “I know. I picked you, didn’t I?” which is basically Steve-speak for “PLEASE TELL ME WE’RE FRIENDS I’VE BEEN TRYING SO HARD”

Danny lets out a spectacular and supremely satisfied moan.  “Ah,” he says, closing his eyes and slipping deeper into the warm embrace of the bathtub. “This is the life.”

“This is sacrilege,” Steve mutters from the opposite end, poking Danny’s chest with his big toe.  “And anyway, I thought you didn’t like spas and weird soaps?”

Too relaxed to open his eyes for scowling purposes, Danny scrunches his nose up to convey his exasperation.  “Do you see any weird soaps in this bath, Steven?  Do you see any pumice stones, any bubbles, any ointments?  No, no you do not.”

Steve makes a funny face, mouthing “pumice stones” quizzically to himself - even with his eyes closed, Danny can sense the mocking.  “Stop that, the wind will change and you’ll get stuck looking like a tortoise.”

“You sound like Aunt Deb.”

Danny shudders.  “Please, babe, please do not talk about your aunt while we’re naked in the tub.  Just enjoy the nice warm water.”

“I would be,” Steve says mutinously.  “Except it’s out there and I’m in here.”

Danny gives in and opens his eyes, following the line of Steve’s arm and looking out the window: the big blue awaits, close enough to touch. “Yes,” Danny says as patiently as he can muster, “I see it, it’s lovely, all in good time.  But there’s water in here, too.  Domesticated water, which is my favourite kind, you’ll remember.”

“Domesticated water?  Are you for real?  You’re seriously going to make us have a bath when the ocean is right there?”  

Steve’s Navy SEAL sensibilities are clearly offended, and Danny’s patience is most definitely at an end.  “I didn’t make you do anything!  Go, go on then.”  He nudges Steve with his foot, trying to push him out the tub. “Go and swim with jellyfish instead of curling up naked with me.  I didn’t realize it was such a chore.”

He closes his eyes again, done with the conversation, and while his pout is mostly for show he can’t help but feel a bit miffed.  He’d been hoping for a couple of shared orgasms, and now he’s being abandoned.  Distracted from his thoughts by splashing, he feels Steve shift in the tub, water swirling as he prepares to stand.

But then, no.  Instead of standing, Steve is crawling forward, settling between Danny’s legs and blanketing him.  “You’re sulking,” Steve declares, and honestly, Danny is going to murder him.

“I am not,” he says, refusing to open his eyes, and oh, oh, Steve is kissing that spot.  “You’re just being an ass.”

“That’s Commander-Ass to you.”

“More like Admiral-Ass,” Danny mutters, but Steve is peppering him with warm kisses and it’s hard to keep his train of thought.  “Actually…oh, Steve, Steve, yes.” He clears his throat, determined to get back on track.  “Actually, I take that back, the last thing you need is a promotion.”

“Danno?” Steve asks.


“You’ve got your husband, a Navy SEAL, in your stupid domesticated water.  Shut up.”

And with that, Steve slips down the bath, takes a deep breath, and ducks his head under the water.


Are you kidding me rn? 

7x01 Spoilers 


So what happens now?