h o l l a n d

3

“it’s a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming… on days like these, kids like you… s h o u l d   b e   s l a p p i n !
~sans undertale

General musical descriptions

Dear Evan Hansen: Ben Platt looking into the audience with a sad expression for like 2 ½ hours

(bla bla bla) Great Comet of 1812: simple plot surrounded by a kinda easy plot surrounded by a lot of other crap (but still somehow managed to be amazing)

Hamilton: over hype: the musical

Falsettos: oh the GAYNESS of it all

Charlie and the chocolate factory: we say we’re family friendly but we also show a child getting ripped in half. (Very underrated)

Sunset Blvd: it’s like a really fucked up beauty and the beast.

Phantom of the Opera: sInG oNcE aGaIn WiTh Me OuR sTrAnGe DuEt

Cats: a two hour tourist trap

School of Rock: talented children+ Alex Brightman + Sierra Bogess= a show I wanna see!!

Something rotten: Shakespeare was a prick

Come from away: WELCOME TO THE ROCK

Spring Awakening: don’t have sex: or you’ll get pregnant, and die

Wicked: you already know

Heathers: it’s like if Caty just fucking KILLED REGINA.

Carrie: rated R Matilda

Matilda: R E V O L T I N G C H I L D R E N

Once on this island: Moana?

Sweeney Todd: Worst. Haircut. Ever.

Newsies: boys jumping for 2 hours

Book of Mormon: Repress your emotions woooo!!!!

Waitress: sad and pregnant + pie!!!

(these are jokes I love all of these)

R E A D Y F O R I T: is a more of a warning than a question. a sign of things to come. a simple warning shot before the gunfight. to let you know that something is about to happen. telling you to prepare yourself. it’s just the beginning in the over all story. 

E N D G A M E: is for the lovers who, despite the odds, believe they can make it through this crazy game called life. it’s wanting to break your reputation of bad endings and make this be the one that lasts forever. it’s adrenaline rushes and planning your whole life out with someone. 

I D I D S O M E T H I N G B A D: is for all the witches they were unsuccessful at burning. it’s lit fireworks crackling in your rib-cage and fiddling with the laces of your warn out combat boots and already ripped fishnets and applying perfectly winged eyeliner without trying and bright red lipstick to match the blood of your enemies.

D O N T B L A M E M E: is for the passionate, reckless, fearless lovers. the ones who fall in love without hesitation and without permission. they dive in head first without looking back. they don’t care if it makes them seem crazy because they would rather be crazily, passionately in love than live an indifferent and emotionless life. it’s for when you find that one person you would risk everything for. 

D E L I C A T E: is for the doubt that takes residence in your head and in your heart when you finally get the courage to dust yourself off and fall for someone new after you got your heart broken. it’s terrifying and temporary and fragile and beautiful because it’s fleeting. it can never last forever, or so you have been led to believe. it’s for the cautious dreamers. the damaged lovers who have been left for dead too many times to count. 

L O O K W H A T Y O U M A D E M E D O: is for the defeating moment when you finally take the blame just to ease the heat. it’s for when every one thinks that they finally buried you but like a phoenix, you rise from the ashes reborn. it’s taking a lighter and burning every thing to the ground. it’s finding out just how good revenge can feel. 

S O I T G O E S: is nights at bars and restaurants and films and parties and weekends that you know can’t possibly last forever. it’s silk dresses and high heels and smudged lipstick and scratches on your lovers back. it’s cashmere jumpers and messy hair and dark circles beneath your eyes because lately life has been so freeing, sleeping seems like a waste of time. 

G O R G E O U S: is for the endless summer nights and repeatedly making eye contact with the stranger across the bar. it’s starry eyes, rosy cheeks, and quiet seduction. it’s drinks in blues and pinks and tiny cocktail umbrellas and having so many you quit counting. it’s finding someone so physically flawless you can’t help but hate them, simply because you can’t have them. 

G E T A W A Y C A R: is for all of the lovers on the run from all of their past mistakes and rebounds. it’s for when they find someone with similar baggage and decide to find distraction in each other. it’s for seeking a fresh new start. it’s secretly kissing in diner booths, holding hands under the table, and kissing each other with recklessness on your lips. it’s knowing that this is temporary, but that’s what you love about it.

K I N G O F M Y H E A R T: for the boys and girls who make a key to their heart and give it to each other. it’s the truth and vulnerability one must have to be able to do that. it’s for the five am rooftop conversations. it’s getting dressed up just to dance with each other around the living room. 

D A N C I N G W I T H O U R H A N D S T I E D: it’s nights spent dancing with each other around the house. it’s lips that taste like safety, and that’s something you haven’t had in so long you’ve forgotten what it taste like. It’s the drop of your stomach just before you jump. This is for the desperate but hopeful lovers. 

D R E S S: is his drink in your hair, on your lips, in your hands. it’s crumpled bed sheets. it’s when the sun rises in the morning and your eyes meet the same sleeping lover beside you. it’s lace bra-lets and knee-high boots. 

W H Y W E C A N T H A V E N I C E T H I N G S: is for when the hurt and betrayed turn into the unforgiving and unafraid. it’s when your mouth is filled with unforgiving teeth. it’s reaching a point of anger, you can’t help but burst into laughter. you can’t help but joke about the whole thing. it’s shards of broken glass and anger to the point of apathy. 

C A L L I T W H A T Y O U W A N T: is for the lovers who find comfort and validation in one another. they don’t have anything to prove. it’s hand written lovers and blankets under covers. grinning from ear to ear alone in your room. the promise of something bigger than this. a taste of forever. it’s cups of tea in the morning and wine at night. it’s the kind of love that could inspire classic romance novels. 

N E W Y E A R S D A Y: is for when every one else has gone home and you are the only two remaining. when the party is over, but the best part of the night has yet to come. it’s time standing still when it’s just you two. it’s air kissed curls and deep two in the morning conversations on kitchen counters. it’s wanting to stay forevermore. 

8

We’re soldiers, we have to know what we’re fighting for. I’m not fighting so some man or woman I barely know can sit on a throne made of swords. So what are you fighting for? Life. Death is the enemy. The first enemy and the last. The enemy always wins, and we still need to fight him. That’s all I know. You and I won’t find much joy while we’re here, but we can keep others alive, we can defend those who can’t defend themselves. Maybe we don’t need to understand any more than that. Maybe that’s enough.    b e y o n d  t h e  w a l l

an awesome thing people keep forgetting

JEREMY IS FUCKING CANONLY JEWISH GIVE ME THE JEWREMY CONTENT YOU COWARDS

  • JEREMY INVITES MICHAEL TO PASSOVER SEDERS AT HIS HOUSE BECAUSE NOW THAT HIS DAD IS LIKE, BEING A DAD AGAIN, HE’S STARTED DOING HOLIDAYS AGAIN
  • IT’S A FUCKING MESS BUT THEY HAVE FUN
  • JEREMY, BEING THE ONLY CHILD, HAS TO RECITE THE FOUR QUESTIONS
  • HE TRIES TO RECITE THEM IN HEBREW AND IT’S LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER BECAUSE HE ALMOST CHOKES ON HIS OWN SPIT TRYING TO DO THE “CH” SOUNDS 
  • MICHAEL BUYS JEREMY A STAR OF DAVID NECKLACE
  • MICHAEL BUYS JEREMY A STAR OF DAVID NECKLACE
  • M I C H A E L   B U Y S   J E R E M Y  A   S T A R   O F   D A V I D   N E C K L A C E 
  • JEREMY WEARS IT EVERY DAY
  • JEREMY TEACHES THE SQUIP SQUAD HOW TO MAKE LATKES
  • RICH, AGAIN, ALMOST BURNS DOWN THE HOUSE
  • HE IS NEVER ALLOWED NEAR A STOVE AGAIN
  • “wait, jeremy, you’re telling me i get to crush a glass at our wedding!? do you realize how BADASS that sounds?” “MICHAEL PLEASE- wait, wedding?????
Houses as What People Think vs. What They Really Are

G R Y F F I N D O R
What people think they’re like:

What they’re actually like: 

H U F F L E P U F F 
What people think they’re like:

What they’re actually like: (okay maybe the first was accurate too)

R A V E N C L A W
What people think they’re like:

What they’re really like:

S L Y T H E R I N 
What people think they’re like:

What they’re really like:

Invade mi ask.

A. ¿de dónde eres?

B. ¿Mostrarías una foto tuya?

C. ¿Quién es tu crush?

D. ¿Qué te excita?

E. ¿Cuál era tu juego favorito de pequeñ@?

F. ¿Nalgadas o mordidas?

G. ¿Te gusta el role play?

H. ¿color favorito?

I. ¿hetero, gay, bi, o extraterrestre?

J. ¿noche o día?

K. ¿con o sin luces?

L. ¿Amando o sin amar?

M. ¿algo que no te excite?

N. Una locura que hayas hecho.

O. ¿qué edad tienes?

P. ¿saldrías conmigo?

Q. ¿Posición favorita?

R. Una fantasía que tengas.

S. Harías trío?

T. ¿Eres celos@?

U. ¿tienes pareja?

V. ¿cuál es tu signo zodiacal?

W. ¿cuándo cumples años?

X. ¿duro o suave?

Y. ¿has tenido amigos con beneficios?

Z. Pregunta gratis.


L.

Yall know the drill. 5 miles, BNHA episode recap

  • Every single one of my Group Project With Terrible Group Members anxieties was on fire within 30 seconds of this episode
  • Me, quietly, under my breath: Clearly Deku is trying to do the work it’s his partner who’s not helping tell the teacher Deku deserves an A its not his fault hes in a shitty group.
  • For real this is almost a tongue-in-cheek commentary on schools handling bullying. Turns to the person clearly only being victimized who’s done nothing wrong. “Now I think you BOTH need to work on your get-along skills hmmm?”
  • They sure like to name episodes as “[Character name]: Origin”
  • I really like how Shonen Logic:tm: works where characters can be smashed through buildings and be fine, but Bakugou whapping Deku in the nose with his stupid gauntlet leaves Deku wincing on the ground.
  • and by “really like” i mean “im really fucking hurt. Deku looked so hurt he didnt deserve that”
  • Look at him. Look at him he didnt deserve that. Someone please kick Bakugou’s ass.
  • Status update: the rest of the episode is All Might kicking Bakugou’s ass. Nice. Prick.
  • Bakugou: [yells]
    Deku: [yelling] stop yelling!
  • All Might proceeds to shut Bakugou up. Nice All Might good job listening.
  • I’m so happy for All Might. He’s having the best time being a villain. You know he’s giggling like a five year old on the inside you know it. He gets to just break shit and be evil. I love it.
  • [Obligatory Sans Undertale joke]
  • OKAY SO ALL MIGHT’S NOT FUCKING AROUND ALRIGHTY THIS IS FINE.
  • HI WELCOME TO U.A. THE TOP SCHOOL IN THE WORLD OUR CURRICULUM IS BEATING THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING PULP OUT OF YOUR CHILDREN ANY QUESTIONS?
  • That’s not even hyperbole Bakugou got his breakfast beaten right out of him RIP Bakugou yikes
  • NGL the changing angle made it look for a moment like All Might impaled Deku with that fence and like….little dark, All Might.
  • “You will be my successor Midoriya when I pass the torch on oh shit fuck right you needed those internal organs. Ive lived without mine so long I forgot they were there. My bad. ……Should I move the fence?”
  • Bakugou: “I’m going to beat All Might with my own two fists!”
    All Might:
    -punches Bakugou’s breakfast right out of him-
    Bakugou: “Never mind!!!! Turns out I suck!!! Test canceled!!! I quit!!!”
  • Deku: -slugs Bakugou- listen u shit I’m not throwing away my A for this.
  • “We still have to fight All Might!!” Okay Vomit-Mouth.
  • Poor Deku, for the whole alley scene. Bakugou’s just fucking screaming at him 2.5 inches away and Bakugou won’t wipe his damn mouth like damn at least pop a breath mint or something if youre gonna harrass Deku point-blank like that it’s gross.
  • I LOVE ALL MIGHT’S RUN HE LOOKS LIKE A DOOFY VIDEO GAME CHARACTER
  • Deku: “Finally, with Bakugou’s gauntlet I can use a quirk without breaking my own arm.”
    Deku: -breaks his arm from the recoil-
    Deku: “Oh fucking come on”
  • I love Bakugou just blast-zooming through the air while he and Deku talk it’s like those long-ass Naruto scenes where they hop 2945 feet between branches. Except poor Deku’s gotta like, actually run. Offer him a ride Bakugou you animal.
  • Deku: “That gate’s fucking kawaii and I’m kinda insulted considering how I’ve been nearly killed to death like four times in this thing but okay whatever.”
  • DORK
  • ALL MIGHT THEYRE CHILDREN GODDAMN

I BEAT A MOTHER FUCKER WITH ANOTHER MOTHER FUCKER

  • Bakugou: -uses his quirk to fucking launch Deku toward the goal like a sack of potatoes-
    me, thinking back to the physical tests of season 1: Haha call back.
  • ALL MIGHT THEY ARE C H I L D R EN
  • Bakugou: “what!!?? YOU THOUGHT DEKU WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD BREAK ALL HIS ARMS AND SCREAM!!? I CAN BREAK MY ARMS EVEN FUCKING BETTER THAN HE CAN”
  • ALL MIGHT THIS IS NOT HOW MERCY WORKS
  • this is physically painful to watch im like upset
  • theyre kids theyre just kids leave them a l o n e
  • also Bakugou trying to bite All Might’s hand as a last ditch effort is just….real sad? It hurts? This all hurts?
  • Im glad Deku punched All Might he was being a real jackass today.
  • Recovery Girl, for the 19375th time: “The absolute fucking shit I put up with because of you people”