modern au

pidge podge is typing…

pidge podge: hey so have any of you guys seen my brother

pidge podge: i haven’t seen or heard from him in like five days

handsome lanceome is typing…

handsome lanceome: isn’t ur brother constantly disappearing like his thing tho lmao

pidge podge: yes but normally i can ask shiro where he is but this time shiro isn’t answering

pidge podge: keith do you know where shiro is

handsome lanceome: i think they are dead

knife gay is typing…

knife gay: probably

knife gay: they’ve been in the basement for the past few days

pidge podge: doing… what

knife gay: breath of the wild. shiro finally caved and bought a switch and now they won’t stop playing it

knife gay: they’ve only freed one divine beast. they’re literally just fucking around the map

knife gay: all shiro does is cook and experiment with ingredients. hes the Worst

hunka dunk is typing…

hunka dunk: well obviously shiro is cooking in the game

hunka dunk: it’s his only chance to experience something he can’t do in real life :(

anonymous asked:

What if Steve doesn't know how to work a parachute but is too embarrassed/stubborn to admit it?

oh, that little shit knows how to use a parachute. that’s part of what makes him so dang terrible. he knows full well how to work a chute. he’s just a moron. 

we’ve had this conversation a lot.

‘its stealthier, buck,’ he tells me.
‘it wont be stealthy when they hear me yelling at you all the goddam way down, steve.’

'im superhuman, i can survive it!’ he insists.
'well, that’ll come in handy when im kicking your butt for being such a dumbass.’

'im afraid of heights,’ he blatantly lies.
'then why’d you get so freakin tall??’

'i just don’t like parachutes, though, buck,’ he says, like that’s any sort of excuse.
'and i don’t like it when you die from stupidity, but that’s never once stopped you from trying. now strap the fucking chute on before i ziptie you in a crate and ship you back to peggy.’

hey guys i know we’re all kinda united over a band that sends a message against suicide which means we’re indirectly just a group of suicidal ppl so i want all of you to know that i love you very much and i’d be heartbroken if any of you were harmed and you all deserve the very best. i love you. guys. and you can come to me with anything and im sorry that things are so hard

so far this friday:
  • it was agonisingly, absurdly cold at the ice rink this morning
    • my lutz is still a disaster zone
    • both of my routines leave me wheezing with my hands on my knees like a ninety-year-old who just tried to climb a mountain, even though they are literally less than two minutes in length. THROWING YOUR BODY AROUND THE ICE IS TIRING, WHO KNEW.
  • cramps. augh. such cramps. fuck off, uterus.
  • my mother read my most recent short story and said LOVELY THINGS ABOUT IT :))))
    • “I can’t get the first line out of my brain” my mum is the best
  • I bought…a townhouse.
    • look I know my usual impulse buys are along the line of ‘cute jacket’
    • but
    • BUT
    • townhouse!!
  • I watched galaxy quest for the first time in my 30-year-old geek existence last night, and my life has been forever changed for the better and I can’t stop remembering lines today and making embarrassing snorting sounds.

“Would you like another slice of pie, Fox?”

Maggie Scully hovers over Mulder, plate of freshly cut apple pie in hand. She doesn’t wait for him to answer. He gets a third slice whether he likes it or not.

“Thank you, Mrs. Scully,” he says when she hands him the plate. She beams and squeezes his shoulder.

“It’s Maggie, dear.”

Next to him, Scully snorts. She’s been in a mood since Maggie called her last night and told her Bill Jr was in town and she and Mulder were invited over for a spur of the moment dinner. He elbows her lightly in the ribs.

“Something funny, Dana?”

She giggles and shifts away from him, scooting closer to Melissa on the old floral couch the three of them are sharing. “Nothing, Fox.“

They’re Dana and Fox today at Scully’s request. Apparently, it’s inappropriate to call your significant other by their surname. Mulder tried to argue that since they weren’t significant others in the traditional sense, they could break a few mores but Scully wouldn’t listen.

“If we’re having dinner with my family, we’re going to pretend to be a normal couple,” she’d said in the car. “My brother doesn’t even know your name but he hates you so, for the love of God, call me Dana. If you do that and keep the alien talk to a minimum, we might just make it out alive.”

Mulder looks down at their casually joined hands—not all of this normal couple behavior is bad. He wants to hold her hand more often and today gives him an excuse to. The feeling must be mutual because Scully keeps rubbing his knuckles with her thumb, an intimate act that draws the attention of Bill Jr.

He eyes them from the loveseat across the room, his fiancée notably absent—something about a meeting that ran late. It’s weird seeing Scully’s features in a man. He has her scrutinizing gaze only, it’s not nearly as cute as Scully’s. In fact, it’s downright disturbing.

Bill Jr clears his throat. “So how long have you been seeing each other.”

“Since November,” Scully says.

“While you were in quarantine?”

“Oh, lay off, Bill,” Melissa mumbles. “You spent an hour telling me how I’m going to hell for being a lesbian. You had your fun tonight. Leave Dana and Fox alone.”

Scully snags a gooey apple slice from Mulder’s untouched pie and pops it into her mouth. She glances at Mulder as she licks a dribble of caramel from her lips, a silent but effective way of telling him to keep quiet and let her handle this.

“No, it was before quarantine. I treated him to a cup of coffee the morning we left for Mount Avalon.”

Now it’s Mulder’s turn to snort. Scully shoots him a “don’t you dare” look and he just shrugs innocently because he loves making her flustered. She lets go of his hand as punishment but Mulder doesn’t even care since her cheeks are turning as pink as her cardigan.

Their interaction doesn’t go unnoticed. Bill Jr clears his throat again.

“Are you two having sex?”

Mulder chokes on his pie and Maggie is at his side in an instant.

“Fox, honey, are you alright?” She rubs his back as Mulder manages a slight nod.


She fusses over him a beat longer before turning to face Bill Jr.

“William August Scully Junior you should be ashamed of yourself,” she spits while waving a threatening finger in Bill Jr’s face. The bulky navy man like a child. “If I ever hear you say such a crass and rude thing to your sister again, Lord help you, boy because I brought you into this world, I sure as hell can take you out of it.”

A stunned silence follows, only to be broken by Melissa’s squealing laughter. She throws her head back, Scully Red hair falling across the ugly floral couch. An angel in a witchy dress.

Soon, Scully is chuckling and her giggles send Mulder into a fight of his own. Even Bill Jr smiles—albeit with a fearful glance at his mother.

“Jesus Christ, Mom,” Melissa wheezes. “You haven’t used that threat in years.”
Maggie’s matronly face grows bashful as she hides behind her hands. “Melissa, dear, don’t use the Lord’s name in vain.”
Melissa turns to Mulder, mirth in her eyes. “Bill and Dana used to go at it all the time when we were kids—drove Mom up the wall until one day, she threatened to send them both to hell where they could fight it out for eternity with the devil.”

“Remind me to never make your mother mad,” Mulder murmurs to Scully who’s still giggling into his shoulder.

“Oh, Fox, you could never make me mad. You’re such a sweet man, just what I’ve always wanted for my Dana.”

Bill Jr regains his confidence and clears his throat once more. Oh, the tenacity of a Scully.

“Fox,” he says, slowly like he’s treading on thin ice—which he is because Scully stops laughing and goes on the attack.

“Don’t, Bill. I know you want me to find a respectable, normal man with a respectable, normal job but I can’t have normal with the X Files. No lawyer in their right mind would date a woman that gets quarantined every other month. Normal men want women who’ll make dinner and be home every night and that’s not who I am.”

“I like my life with Mulder and the X Files. Yes, he can be insufferable and a pain in the ass—”


“—Butt, sorry, Mom,” Scully amends before continuing. “But he always watches my back. What we do may be dangerous but we do it together and keeping each other alive is the most important thing to us no matter the case.”

Mulder’s chest clenches at Scully’s monologue. He takes her hand and brings it to his lip in a rare display of affection. They haven’t kissed or even truly fucked—Scully wants to take it slow—but there’s genuine affection in her voice. She kinda sorta maybe loves him and he just might love her too.

on the topic of Arabic, we are kind of extra with our romantic talk and I love it?? it sounds so poetic in Arabic but so weird when you translate it (from some songs):

“I don’t just like you––a glance from you melts me. I live in your love, and I die in it. I can’t imagine myself away from you for a moment… Your being far from me makes me suffer, I cannot break free from you (your love)… When you’re not by my side, I cannot create melodies or sing… I die.”

“A new feeling, that rises in your heart… you feel it every time you look at me. You’re always thinking about me, you truly miss me and you die for me. I don’t want you to tell me words that melts my heart from kindness and love––I just want you to tell me ‘I love you’, this word kills me.”

“My darling come, I am calling for you to reassure me and calm me… Don’t let go of my hand. Don’t leave me or stray away, just hold me and make me forget the world… Promise me that as long as you are with me, you will not let go of my hand. Oh, (you) light of my eyes––hold me, feel me. With you, I can walk and continue, and no matter who hurts me I will push onwards. For the sake of your eyes, my love, I would rather die than leave you.”

“I don’t know how in one glance you do this––you take me, and I die for you. I don’t know what’s enchanting me like this––the touch of your hands, the laugh in your eyes. I felt safety by your side, I became in a new time (period), unlike any before. I am falling in love, I am being reborn.”

“The moon swore by the colour of the roses, the colour of the flowers (pink) on the cheeks… the beauty was enhanced by black braids, and your lips made the rose more beautiful. In beauty, there is no one before your or after you, my soul (a term of endearment). My soul, your characteristics are completed (aka you’re perfect).”

thoughts on nelf features

don’t mind me just night elf headcanonononing

(for the sake of simplicity and not complete accuracy, I’m referring to azshara’s followers/the nobility caste as highborne and the lower class that tyrande/malfurion were a part of 10k years ago as kaldorei even though they’re both technically kaldorei)

thousands of years of having a strict hierarchical system that ran highborne/kaldorei daily lives made intermarriage between the arcane inclined nobility and kaldorei peasant class very rare. that combined with the closer proximity and interaction with the well of eternity that the highborne had, makes me like to think that they possessed distinct features that made it so even without their ostentatious wardrobes you could easily tell the difference between the two social classes despite them being of the same race.

what 10k years ago were considered features of great beauty and were associated with the highborne are in modern days now considered sickly and unappealing, and their opposites are valued.

-highborne tended to have paler skin and hair (a trait the kaldorei would nickname as being mana-bleached)
-ears and eyebrows were thinner, but not shorter
-slender features for both sexes (very fine bone structure, high cheekbones, long fingers etc) 

it was common for kaldorei born with enough of this features to try and integrate into the upper class

also completely random throw-in: since nelves are nocturnal, their pupils are slitted. a fact that is very hard to see because of the glow to their eyes